Well… I guess this section of the forum is for general ramblings… so, here it goes.
For three months I have been lusting for results from a ritual I asked for a white witch to help me with… to the point of having nervous breakdowns and almost killing myself ( which the person helping with telling me that all those reactions of mine alamost broke apart the work she was doing ).
Couldn’t even get work done, depressed as hell but I even managed to pay her a large sum of money for her to continue working ( being a freelancer in latinamerica is not easy )… the last three weeks were the worst ones.
Some days I didn’t eat or drink water nor got out of my bed. I only watch my phone for her to be online and looking at the other online too ( me thinking this is not working, they’re texting each other ).
So I jumped again to this forum… and started evocations…
First for a breakup ( asmodeus and astaroth )
Then for her to change her mind about me and love/lust ( Dantalion, Sallos and Haniel… but did not continued evoking Haniel… I’m not so fond of angels )
And just for the heck of it a test petition to Sitri ( https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/funny-result-because-of-sitri/77528 … which got results… and that one gave me hope.
Then just to be sure… destroy the other guy relationship with her ( Andras … and I just send that guy to him and asked him not to leave him alone until not even ashes remain of that relationship )
Another evocation on Sitri to get ladies into my life ( with correct wording and intention this time! )
And finally, asked King Paimos to be his student… and to ask him to help me remove all the bad stuff that have been going on in my life… I do the work, I just need his guidance.
The funny thing is… Since yesterday I did felt that the obsession that has been all over my head since 3 months ago… Simply vanished.
I haven’t been lusting for results from the evocations I made ( I do smile when I think about them for some seconds but then skip to another though in my head ), even before I asked King Paimos to help me with that.
I havent been checking her and his online status for two days now…
I guess all the demons I summoned helped ME first before going into action.
Makes perfect sense. Changes often happen within before they occur outside of your body. Sounds like things are in motion for you, keep your head up and moving forward
I feel like they did u a solid to be honest nothi g but harm n set backs come from lusting for results of magic but I believe they did the right thing by helping u all they what around and I’m sure you will have the results your looking for soon just keep doing things for you
I have no right to give you advice, since I myself have started doing this recently, but I will tell you something. Your condition is very similar to mine, which I overcame a couple of weeks ago, you “burned out”. I also pursued the result with a succubus, instead of just letting everything go its own way. You are chasing the result, you want it all at once, but you forgot that it is also hard work on your moral and spiritual qualities. I already understand very well that it may take me years to even begin to hear the succubus. Magic is not only work with demons, it is metitization, so start with meditation and start working on astral feelings. and do something else but magic, do not make it the meaning of life. Of course, you cannot ignore my opinion, I just expressed it
My situation is like yours. I’been trying hard to get rid of a scoundrel that ruined my relationship with a Guy and messed my reputation at my Workplace,.
Trying everything since February and getting more desperate only to have the guy backing her lies and helping her dissing me to my boss saying that I had a breakingdown with screams and flying chairs (fortunately I had recorded the encounter and their accusations fell down but they suffered nothing).
Recently I went through a prosperity ritual with Lucifer and asked for emotional balance and It’s been great as I garhered the calmness to plan my playback.
Well… now it’s more like it’s been obliterated…
I used to think about that guy all day dong… now I feel like hes some kid I used to know in kindergarten…can’t even remember his name or his face… but I do know it… but the memory just doesn’t come up anymore… and I don’t want to.
And as for her… It’s the same… she was the first thing I though about it in the morning… now… I think about something else. Her memory just doesn’t come up anymore… I’ts still there and if I wanted to I could easily pop her up in my head… but funny thing is… I don’t want to.
As for the feeling of me wanting her… It’s still there. I do want it, but again… it’s all blocked up.
Almost everything… the daydreams, the fantasizing about her, the what if…, even the real life memories of when we used to hang out do not come up anymore.
I don’t even remember the evocations I did this past week. I know I did them beause I keep a journal.
Asmodeus, Astaroth, Dantalion, Sallos, Haniel, Sitri, Belial, Lilith, Sargatanas. King Paimon, Bune.
It’s all blocked… and I DO have a pretty good memory of everything, not eidetic memory but close enough.
Well. I still don’t know the meaning of all of this… After one week…
It could mean that my desire wasn’t for me… and all of this blocking up and slowly fading away might meant to move on…
… or it could mean that what I asked for is for me but for my damn sake all the demons just got me out of my own way. … lol.
And if this is what I am feeling and receiving… It just gives me a bit of a smile just knowing what the targets are going through…
Problem now is… I don’t know what to do. I feel like the empty cup.
Guess i’ll just have to ask to fill my life up again with whatever they have in store for me.
