My question: how do you know if an entity is truly what it is? Specifically, Nyarlathotep? I hope somewhere here can clarify because there’s a large community of people working with this mythos.
I used to be very close with the Goetia and never had trouble with identity. When I drew a portrait of Asmodeus, other practitioners could tell who it was without me telling them. Even when encountering tricksters/parasites, I could easily tell the difference.
My mentors led me to the Outer Gods. I performed a successful invocation of Yog-Sothoth, and on my second attempt, I met an entity that I did not evoke. My guide insisted that it was trying to help me, and afterwards he told me that it was Nyarlathotep. On every successive attempt I made, that entity was there.
That was 7 months ago. Since then, I’ve developed a serious case of obsession and I’m afraid that it is actually a trickster or parasite. I don’t know what I believe in anymore. I’ve stopped talking to my mentors, made an altar for it (I’ve never done this for any god or entity), stopped practicing spells and stuff. I was asexual but I actually feel lust now and may have developed a fetish for black smoky energy.
Initially, I “woke” from this obsession when I realised this entity did not appear in any of the common faces of Nyarlathotep, though I admit it is known to have countless forms. Something drew me to buy a grimoire that was published only this March, and dammit, the form he appeared to me in was described right inside (it was called Etonetatae). Exactly the same.
The evidence says that, yes, it is him. But could it be a trickster/parasite? Or is it really him and he’s just screwing with me? He has said that I amused him. I just don’t know. How can you tell? I’d appreciate any advice at all, please.