Not big trouble but difficulty

So every so often, I go to a gothic night club called QXT. Its a great place. No one gets into fights. No one gets totally drunk. People are generally friendly. However, I feel like I have a hard time fitting in.

The club is host to the punk crowd, bdsm crowd, metal crowd, rave crowd, and occultist crowd. As opposed to punk or rave, I’m within the other parameters. Still, I feel like I’m always on the outside looking in. I’ve managed to form some rapport with several individuals, but no groups.

Then there’s the basic topic of dancing. I loved to dance for about four years, from 7th to 11th grade. Mostly, I enjoyed having my friends watch and cheer me on. I had the same troubles then too; I was friends with them, but never truly apart of the group. So dancing was an outlet to get their attention. Today, I’m pretty much scared of dancing, or at least dancing alone. I go during 80s night cause that’s when they play music easier for me to dance to (I’d rather have 2000s hiphop), but its like I can’t feel the rhythm. I feel physically incapable of letting go. I can try and “fake dance” (moving in a dancing motion but with no passion to it), but I feel like I’m “Lying.” And I don’t like to lie about how I feel.

I usually go around trying to meet and get to know people. My success is fluid and depends on the night. I’m generally accepted, but what I really want is a night of passion, romance, and pageantry.

My usual go to night is “Iron Garden”. Iron Garden is last Friday of the month and is a pagan gathering. The people in charge call it a “Sanctuary”, but its more of a meet up with lectures and venders. It lasts for 2 hours in the lower dance floors. Then at 11, you go up and party to 80s pop. Idk why, but this is usually the night with the best turn up.

I went during the previous Friday, and it was just dismal. The turn out, by my standards, was poor, and people were kind of paired up. I saw a birthday party for this guy I knew and felt so bad I wasn’t invited. I suppose it makes sense considering how little I get to go. I’m not there enough to form the relationships I want, and it sucks.


Wait, QXTs in Newark!? You live pretty near me then, love that place, I like the Industrial/goth night, but I usually find an excuse not to go since I’d be on my own.
Didn’t know what Iron Garden was, that’s awesome though I should make the effort.

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You kidding me? occultists and pagans meet in places like that where you live? If that is how likeminded people in your meet, than I have no chanse in here where I live. I don´t go to nightclubs, and at max I go to bars and I don´t even go to bars. Dang, that sums up my situation. Hell, I´m practically boring compared to people other people.

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Ever worked with the Olympians?

If not, it would be a great way to ‘get to know them’ so to speak… invite them out for a night out.
Call on Dionysus (obvs); Apollo would always be down for a good night out; Pan would be down for naughty fun; Aphrodite to bring some pretty people…

Dedicate a night out with them and ask them to help with the party planning and see what happens…?

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Actually I live an hour away. I go alone ALL THE TIME. I believe a person should be be able to rely on himself to make friends. IE he is able to go places on his own, talk to someone on his own, and ect. Friends will not always be available. This takes courage and is certainly a testament of such for me to even be there.


Actually, Qxt is more the Newark/ New York Pagan scene. Most NJ groups are more the family friendly white light wicca stuff which most likely wouldn’t go near a night club.

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You are 100% cooler then I will ever be. I can barely get anyone to talk to me at the local adult arcade bar I go to sometimes.

This past New Year’s eve was the first time I went out in years. People were stuck up rude. I stayed long enough to watch the ball drop. I sat right under the tv and was the center of attention for a minute.

I vamped the entire bar and went home alone. I hate humanity.


I see, that is a shame

I get you, people are rude these days(not all obviously) and for the most part when you go to places with many people, those same people have their own groupies. Try going to talk to women as a dude and you will be labeled as a creep. I personally luck out with the guys more, don´t know about you. It´s just a lot more easier to talk to guys more than to women in general.

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