New year, new journal,

This afternoon when I got home there was a distinct stillness in the temple (apartment).

Like all the air got sucked out.

Nobody home

That in mind, though it’s not usually my thing…ill probably do some kind of banishing and wipe the slate clean. Or rather, an aligning. Either way, I need to clear out the old energy and call in new. I’ll probably do Asenath Mason’s version of the LBRP from “Tree of Qliphoth”. Then again I might do something completely different. Probably will…we shall see.

I’ve learned that on new and full moons some of the spirits that are usually around will leave for a time (sometimes this can be a good week or so, sometimes longer).

In the past I’ve experienced upticks in astral interactions around the new moon. :new_moon_with_face: Moreso when I’m working for some reason. Maybe that’s cuz I’m “out in the open” so to speak…

I’ve “seen” some interesting things on these occasions.

At work, after asking if it would be a good idea…I created a rather large sigil of Belial. I opened and activated it, rubbing my fingers around it clockwise so that it’ll push Belials energy OUT. I then breathed energy into it. I saw in my mind’s eye a hand giving me a thumbs up. I might’ve heard Belial chuckle. I proceeded to hide it in my work area somewhere close by. Hahaha

I’ve done this before with Belphegor’s, and Leviathan’s (Dukante) sigils.

I had Leviathans out in the open since it really doesn’t look much more than a goofy drawing to those not in the know. It was out for…maybe 3 months?

I’ve had Belphegor’s sigil at work for maybe a month and a half or so now. Hidden.

I’ve also hidden an inverted cross at work for the span of multiple months before removing it.

Let’s see…what am I on about anyway?

Moving on…

While looking over S. Connolly’s Daemonolotry Goetia looking for spirits that might help with “shapeshifting” (inspired by Michael W. Ford’s “book of the Witchmoon” in which Marchosias is used to initiate lycanthropy), I came across Ose “can change a man into any form”, and Andrealphus “can transform men into birds”. This should prove interesting for future ideas…

Actually…not entirely unrelated. I happened to look at the entry on Dantalion…

“Authors notes: Helps one relate with others on an emotional level. Teaches emotional intelligence and heightens empathy for others.”

A chord was struck, a bell rung, a light had gone off…

Weeks ago I had been advised to work with Dantalion, or that Dantalion wanted to work with me.

Unrelatedly (or actually, maybe it was totally related) I’d been told something to the effect of “You’re emotionally closed”.

Ironically I have a strong heart chakra, so maybe being emotionally closed is a defense mechanism. I actually can be somewhat sentimental when I watch a movie by myself.lol

So, I guess I gotta get around to contacting Dantalion at some point.

Today I was feeling that pull towards the vampyric…really need to start delving into that.

Jan 14th '21 Thurs:

Dream recall:

It’s a little choppy. I didn’t sleep well, and had gone to bed late…

There was definitely something notable, but I forgot.

The rest seems kind of mundane.

The family cats had gone missing for some reason.

I was out and about doing something for some reason but I don’t know that I really achieved whatever it was I was apparently trying to do.

I was on a quest for energy drinks.
I was at a gas station and it felt like there was something important about it for some reason…

At some point my belt popped and broke. I was unhappy to realize how big my stomach looked (I’ve gained some unnecessary weight which I guess is coming up in my dreams now, probably should fast it off).

When this happened I met and started talking to somebody who, now that I’m awake I realize probably appeared during this sequence because they’re overweight.

There was a girl I recognized, though I don’t know from where…with this other person.

I was trying to get myself out together for a job I haven’t worked in years but was failing miserably. Shit, I’m late and barely found my uniform…

There’s something else Im missing, I’m sure of it…oh, well.

If I was to interpret all this I’d say it’s largely about having or feeling of loss of control or stability. Just not being on top of things. I guess.

Gotta give myself a pat on the back for maintaining my journaling thus far. And for my ability to almost daily recall dreams.

I didn’t expect this to go this well. Haha

Mantras are done…

Fire was wanted apparently, and in the big bowl.

This generated enough upward draft to start spinning my ceiling fan at a slow regular pace. Lol

I might wanna be careful with that in future. Maybe not as much alcohol. But it does give me ideas…

Feel like I should do a cord cutting ritual…
Kind of wanna go with Hekate, but Michael has been coming through apparently and it seems he’s one of the gotos for cord cutting. We shall see…

I’ve been meaning to incorporate the Three suns meditation into my routine somewhere…

Though I do a “Four Sun’s” version, where there’s a fourth black sun that you imagine going down through your spine.

Also the way I do it, I inhale each sun Down through my spine and for a few breaths I “pump” it’s energy up and down a few times throughout my energy body with a long inhale and a slow exhale. On the exhale I visualize the sun’s energy or flames blazing throughout my energy body. Then I let it go and move on til I get to the white sun.

At the white sun, I’ll pump it a few times and then visualize it setting my energy body alight with blinding light akin to a welding torch.

At the black sun, I’ll once again pump it a few times, then I’ll visualize it blackening my energy body with dense black/blue/purple energy and light. A deep darkness with a sort of nebulous energy surrounding it and emmitting from it. Think Dark Matter.

From there what I had did in the past was move on to shielding and other stuff. Or would just jump right into the void meditation.

Pumping the sun’s up and down the spine is with the intention of energizing and clearing the chakras.

This time last year I was doing this fairly regularly at work during my breaks. I’d go off into a part of the building that’s not used, sit in the dark and begin visualizing.

Honestly…I need to do a lot of things. Lol

Speaking of chakras…

Maybe up to about two weeks ago…

I was off and on getting this phenomena where my sacral chakra would activate, but it would have a distinctly hungry sensation. Like sexual hunger…which is a wierd sensation to say the least. This would come with arousal, but didn’t really feel like lust.

It was sporadic, but it actually started to worry me. “*Wtf…I’ve never heard of chakra hunger…is my chakra turning vampyric!? What does that mean? Why? Is something wrong with it?..is this an opportunity? Should I explore this vampyrically?..is it a spirit?”

Well anyway, at some point I connected it to a spirit interaction. Funny way of getting attention. Hasn’t really happened since I made that connection though. 🤷

Jan 15 '21, Friday:

Very little dream recall. I know they were vivid, but I didn’t sleep well.

I remember that at some point I was in the workplace and somehow I’d grown to be 7 ft tall or so. I had to stoop down to get through doors.

What does it mean?


When I got my first break at work today, I left for a secluded part of the building in the dark. Grabbed a chair and sat down with eyes closed.

I decided I would do Asenath Mason’s qliphotic middle pillar, and then her version of the LBRP as best as I could remember (as I understand it, though my intention was less banishing and more balancing).

Come to think of it, that’s backwards as the middle pillar should come second…oh well.

When I got to the balancing, I started in the west.

Here, I realize I might’ve had something else reversed…the four angels of prostitution come after the quadrants are called. Oops…

A reverse invocational pentagram of black flames…who goes in the west? I intuited it would be Eisheth. Okay.

I called her, and a black shadow with glowing red eyes in the silhouette of a woman walked up out of thin air…

(I was facing east) she came up behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders for a moment. There was something else but it slips my memory. It was interesting. Was it really Eisheth? or what my subconscious came up with?

I proceed through the rest until I return to the west. I then call on the elemental Lord’s. I don’t remember who was stationed in the south, so I went with S Connolly’s attribution of Flereous (Haired). I might’ve called Satan in the center, don’t remember.

[A quick note on Flereous. I’ve only called on him a couple times, usually for balancing like this. The first time I did, I had my eyes closed and this is what I saw…
While reciting his enn, there was a wall of intense red flames in front of me. These flames were also DOORs that were rather large. Eventually they opened and this is how he appeared to me. I saw a man who face was obscured by the shadows of a widebrimmed hat. I believe he had long unkempt dirty looking hair. Blonde? He was wearing a large duster, leather I believe, and leather boots. There was a feather of some sort in the hat. His clothing looked very worn and weather-beaten and the duster might’ve been tattered in some spots. The entire ensemble gave me a sort of…midieval vibe? Like someone you find in a forest that was a looter maybe. Or a ranger like in an RPG or something. I remember getting a bit of an intense demeanor. Not really the most friendly.]

As this was practice, I made sure to thank all involved and give the license to depart.

Around this time last year or so, I had been told to practice something along these lines and had been doing so in the same space.

I later kept getting a mental images of red flowing eyes in this room. I finally went to check on it, and could sense a sort of perturbed feeling. Not happy (also when I was walking up I got a mental image of a dark shadow with red eyes, large frame tall walking towards me with the demeanor of someone fetching you for something).

As I had not been polite enough to do a proper closing or giving license to depart, they were unhappy with me and annoyed. I’ve made a mental note of this ever since.

Later in the workday I started to feel very calm. I was very contemplative and going over a lot of stuff that I don’t feel like writing out.

At some point I started to have the very distinct feeling that I’m on the cusp of something. Like I’m on the threshold of something new. A feeling that I’m about to have some kind of release and walk through the next door.

This feeling also came with a bit of a teary eyed sensation. The feeling of having reached the end of an arduous journey and finally arriving at your destination. Of having endured a lot to get here. A bittersweet happiness and gratitude that it all be behind you soon. The feeling of having made it. That at long last, you’re about to open the door to the next chapter…

All while feeling a calm and serenity and going about my work. This lasted for about an hour or more before fading away. I still felt this calm for the rest of the workday though.

I don’t know what that was about…

Jan 16 '21, Saturday:

*Dream recall:

So, I was u and down a little.

For sure I had some kinda dream before I woke up right at 2:55 AM but don’t remember what it was. I probably should’ve got up and did something magical but I was tired and needed to catch up on my sleep. Haven’t been sleeping well the last few days.

Anyway…

Here’s what I do remember.

I had parked my bicycle and locked it somewhere at a gas station. The rundown ugly kind you find in older parts if cities and neighborhoods. I was at this station for some reason I don’t remember.

I leave this station and go on a bit of a journey or something don’t really remember only to finally make it back and get my bike and leave.

There might be a break here where on dream ends and another begins…

I’m at some version of my apartment. Evidently, the maintenance guy was fired and replaced by the lady that handles a lot of the office stuff and calls at my job. She’s out there using a weedwacker and shit. Hmmm

Alright, here’s where things get very interesting

Keep in mind, I’d been listening to a bunch of music yesterday afternoon/night. Some of which was a playlist on Spotify called “Café Africa”

(In spite of this being an apartment complex) I see what looks like an African (Nigerian?, Ethiopian?, no idea…they were definitely from overseas though…) Family and extended relatives moving in. Large family.

Judging by the furniture I was seeing they seemed fairly well to do.

Moreover, I guessed they had twins. I was seeing a lot of twin furniture (NICE looking furniture). Case in point, there was a set of side by side cradles, made of some kind of wicker with dark paint or stain. These cradles had some kind of fancy curtains above them, two little teepees of lace and silk to draw closed over the babies.

I never saw any children though. Mostly adults, dressed somewhat formal in most instances. A lot of older women. The elders of the family, aunt’s, cousins, etc.

They seemed like very upbeat people. Cheerful.

There’s a divergence here for a bit.

There’s a man. Jeff goldblum? (I’d watched “The Isle of Dogs” yesterday, and believe his voice was one of the dogs…so this is a bit funny).

He had a machine he was using that would cancel out all sound, and was apparently supposed to have some kind of unpleasant psychological effects I guess. Was he some kind of mad scientist?

At some point I’m joined by a girl I used to work with at a previous occupation.

She’s short, maybe 4ft something? I’m 5’11 and she only comes up to my chest more or less. A short, kinda chubby black girl with a raucous laugh, who can be a little sensitive at times (she’d cried like a child in trouble with her mother a few times when she’d gotten in trouble with the manager). She has a little boy who’s beloved by her elderly father, an older black gentleman who’s body’s been beatup by a life of hard labor, short, upbeat drives a truck. Rancher/farmer type of guy when you see him.

We decide were gonna stop Jeff goldblum (god, that’s wierd…)

We start making our way through a small corridor with multiple bedrooms, each one has some kind of bedding against the wall. I digress…

I abort because we can’t make it before the machine gets fired up again. (Though we apparently had a counteracting machine of our own we had fired up to cancel his out before venturing to stop him)

Now, in the back of this hallway there was an entrance to an ornate staircase leading up somewhere, this was shrouded in darkness and there was that sort of thick unnerving feeling like a low hanging cloud or fog of foreboding…

Evidently she went to check out the staircase.

When I was some yards away she suddenly called out "_____! Help! I saw two glowing #$#& (did she say eyes or bald of light?)! I’m scared! I’m telling him he needs to crossover! Help! (Sounds like something about what “he” wants but I don’t remember…).

Oh, hell no…

I jump into action, and when I get to the entrance I can feel a field of repelling energy. She was cowering in front of the staircase with her head down and her hands on her head.

I can’t get close…

“I need you to grab my hand! I’m being repelled but for some reason you can walk around in this energy!”

After some coaxing she grabs my hand and pulls me in front of the staircase. Feels like walking against the current of a river. I never let go of her hand, because she’s my anchor and the only thing that keeps me from being booted out by the energy.

I never actually see the entity (seeings not my strong suit.)

I hold out my right hand (projecting side) and begin to shout.

“By the authority of my will, I command you to back down and begone!”
I am the magician/witch now. At this proclamation and show of power she suddenly looks at me like a deer in the headlights.

At this point the curious happens. I begin to speak with the voice and inflection of an older black man. An African accent. I seem to be channeling some kind of elder? I could actually feel my mouth moving in my sleep in an unintelligible kind of whispering/mumbling.

The man that seems to be channeling through me has a sort of upbeat confidence about him despite the situation. He/I have got this. I’m working through him as much as he’s working through me…he seems to be enjoying this almost…

I/he/we start again, “Hecate, I call you now! Come and help me banish this entity! I INVOKE you!”

“As a child of Hecate, I command you spirit to leave!” (This is interesting because I would never call myself a child of Hecate in waking life. I don’t consider myself a child of Hecate, so this brings up interesting questions…)

I say some other stuff I don’t remember, and the energy seems to be dissipating.

While holding her hand I enlist her aid as an extension of power. Between the two of us we have a balance of masculine and feminine energy. I give her instructions as we proceed to project energy and banish any miasma or residue of the entities presence. I have to encourage her because she keeps saying “but I’m scared!” With her eyes closed.

I don’t remember much after this but I’m pretty sure we got rid of it and shortly after I woke up.

I got up and walked around a bit. For a moment I saw a little bright light like a spark or bright white led light fly by my right peripheral vision. Though, for context’s sake my head hurt and it kinda felt like I might have the beginnings of a migraine (sleep hangover). That said, I watched this teeny tiny light fly right by me very vividly. Looked right at it. It flew about a foot before dissapearing all in a second or less. I dunno. Maybe a trick of the eyes, but I won’t completely discount it.

This is wierdly similar to the dream I had with Michael.

Am I doing exorcisms for people in my sleep or something?

I’ve had dreams in the past where it seemed like I was giving people psychological advise or help before, and they’d react kinda funny, like I was in their dream and caught them off guard or something…

Was it me or the man apparently channeling through me that proclaimed “as a child of Hekate”?
What was the significance of the implied twin babies?
Did I see this girls ancestors?
Did an ancestor channel through me?
Were they people, or just some type of African spirits?
What was the deal with the spirit in the staircase?
Did Hekate have me doing something?

If so, I thank her for this interesting experience. Hail to the queen of witches and lady of crossroads! Mighty Titan and goddess!

This might tie into something I was thinking about yesterday, but I’m not typing all that up right now. Haha


On the subject of African spirits, Id like to relate the following…

When I moved into my current apartment (mid to late Oct 2019), I had a strange dream within the first week or so…

At some point I became a bit lucid.

I was laying in my bed.

A beautiful thin African woman walks up wearing blue/green clothing. Tribal? She had a green headdress scarf. Formfitting dress, and a sash not unlike an Indian sari. She had a very calm, centered, and self assured confidant personality. I don’t remember any jewelry. She seemed very simple, grounded. Very calm, almost angelic.

I liked this lady.
I wouldn’t say she was making eyes at me, but there was a look she was giving me.

I don’t remember much of what was said except a rather curious statement…

She said “If you let me sit on your chest, I can help you. I can give you financial help.” Or something to that effect…

I think she crawled up on me at this point. I made note that she was barefoot.

I said something to the likes of “well, I like you and you seem like a very nice lady. You have a beautiful energy about you. Ive got no problem with your offer. Something, something, something…”

I don’t remember if she straddled me or seemed to kneel down on top of me with a calm sort of sweet smile.

I woke up shortly after this exchange.

Never really came into extra money or anything, and never had any further interactions with this lady from my dream.

Here’s the interesting thing…

Some weeks later, I found out that the young man two apartments over (dude had a funny habit of running past and down the stairs every morning like some kind of bad anime trope) was an African exchange student. Though I don’t know from where…I’d heard him talking outside a few times and he had a very heavy accent. The go-to guess would be Nigeria, or Ethiopia…if memory serves me right those are the two countries that immigrate to the states the most from the African continent.

Looking back, I wonder if this lady in my dream was something akin to a hamingja.

I don’t know anything about African spirituality so all I can do is guess.

Funnily enough, this dude got evicted some months later. Money problems? I dunno but it’s interesting to note.

There was this one night late spring where I was laying back in bed. Right in front of my face just a few inches away I audibly heard what sounded like a black woman say “Byyyeeee…” Softly in an amused tone. With a sound like, “I think you’re silly…but I like you.” I just laughed at this. It was so out of the blue. Very cool.

There was also this one time at work before leaving this last summer maybe mid June? Or was it July? Again I audibly heard what sounded like a very beautiful soul music type of singing/humming come from behind me (let me emphasize, that it sounded really good). I wondered (“what radio station is that? Damn, that girl can sing”) It was time to leave so I went to make sure the radio was turned off… It. Was. OFF. I thought it had been ON and the source of the singing…
I asked my coworker if he had heard that beautiful singing…

I didn’t hear anything…🤷” He said.

No.fucking.way… you didn’t hear that? I swear I could actually feel the vibrations like it was coming out of the radio…”

At this I got a dismissive attitude. And a sort of “dude c’mon. You’re being crazy…”

(I don’t remember what I’d been doing magically, so this might be been some kind of passerby)

I don’t know that these things are related at all. But they are interesting occurrences nevertheless…