Jan 9 '21:
Missed a day, now I gotta catch up.
First, dream recall:
The previous night I went to sleep late and didn’t sleep well I guess. Nothing to recall.
last night on the other hand…
I seem to have had a visitation.
I found myself on a couch in a living room of some sort. I was watching TV or whatever.
At some point I began to feel a presence on the end of the couch…
Now, I’ve had various dream interactions before and though I’m used to it, it’s a bit of a tossup as to whether it’ll be pleasant or jarring…(I might elucidate, or save it for later. Might even make a topic about some of it, we shall see)
I was on guard to say the least.
I sensed that the presence was had a strong type of personality, but was…what’s the word I’m looking for here…calm doesn’t sound right, but this presence had a certain confidence about it (“it” sounds a bit demeaning but that’s not my intention) that was how shall we say, of one mind without doubt. Resolute? Really what I mean is I didn’t sense any subterfuge or alterior motives.
This being felt somewhat masculine, and yet that doesn’t seem correct. It felt a bit…primordial? Words seem to escape me for a good description. Nevermind.
there was NO, I repeat NO hanky panky, sorry to dissapoint…hahahaha
Anyway, just about when I started to think (“well…what are we doing here?”), It started to come over near me by my legs and I’d get these intermittent waves of energy that would kinda wash over me. Every once in awhile there’s be a sort of…“squeeze” of energy when it would flare up and feel denser.
Overall it’s energy felt kinda tingly, and at moments prickly (like when you’re foots asleep).
I then begin to feel these intermittent hands that seemed to have nails or claws.
What followed was a kind of dance where I’d feel it’s energy moving around/on me in a sort of sensation play game or something, while I’m sitting there taking this in trying to figure out how comfortable I am with this and what or who I’m dealing with.
I asked a few questions but never heard anything. Well, I tried to strike up some conversation anyway…
At some point these hand started going up my shirt running up my stomach and chest.
Still a bit leery of everything I was like “are you a succubus?”
I was becoming more comfortable, and these hands started to kind of flick or poke my nipples with their nails. Seemed like it was a bit cautious to do that. I responded, “not entirely my thing but you can play with my nipples a bit, I think I might like it”
The hands started moving around more…
Suddenly my legs are held together and slowly moved up in the air.
At this point I was like, “oh wait. No. Yeah, let’s NOT do that. Is this going where I think it’s going? Cuz I’m not down for that…”
I brought my legs down, and they’d be slowly pushed up again a couple of times before it seemed to give up on that.
Suddenly, more tingles moving around. Dense prickly energy in alternating spots.
Then I was kind of poked? A nail in the ribs. Prickly, stinging energy with the sensation of a hand squeeze and a poke with a nail.
This made me jump just ever so little.
“Hey now, let’s play nice shall we? You don’t gotta do that.”
It wasn’t a thing of malice. Quite the opposite actually.
The notion that comes to mind is an image of a gorilla poking around something it doesn’t quite understand. A sort of “hey c’mon”. But with an inhuman incorporeal being I can’t see, only sense.
This kept up for a bit before I finally just got annoyed with this whole situation, and said “Nah, I’m out.”
I got up and walked around the rest of the dream. Tbh, I was just a little worried that I’d be followed around, but to it’s credit, it more or less stayed in place and/or kept it’s distance. A few times I felt the field of energy from this being here and there as it kinda hanged back with a feeling akin to, “hey…I’m still around.” But this also had the feeling of how an animal you just befriended follows you at a wary distance (once again, let me stress that I do not mean to demean with this example. Its just what comes to mind, take it as you will)
I woke up shortly after this. Wow.
I tried to feel around the room. Emptiness…
More than likely this occured on the astral somewhere.
In the darkness I proved, “hey, you there?..still here?..that was really interesting. Thank you for coming, and thanks for the interaction!”
“Did you want to interact with me now that I’m awake?”
Nothing…
Aw, well. Such is the nature of these things at times.
I’m 99.99% sure that it was an INCUBUS…
Now, of particular interest is the fact I was getting some synchronicities in regards to other things. And while reflecting on past seeming synchronicities that I was never sure about one thing had popped to mind.
Sometime in spring 2020? No wait…was it the winter before? I don’t know for certain, but I’d been getting these oddball things that seemed to point to incubus related stuff or whatever. The most prominent example being at one point I was looking for something innocuous on Amazon, I believe a lampshade? At any rate, I’m browsing the housing department…
I see an ad, “The Incubus” a horror movie…wierd.
Further down, an ad for a movie “Dare to Love” (or was it a book).
Uh, uh, no. Lol
I had honestly thought it was Asmodeus fucking with my head. 🤷
So this begs the question whether or not this memory may have led up to last night’s little visit.
Is Lilith having fun with me, at my expense?
I woke up somewhere around 5:20? When I finally checked the clock.
Alright, so back to yesterday…
I’d had some synchronicities, one of which is that Michael W Ford seems to keep coming up. Which is funny, because the night previous I had been going through “The Book of the Witchmoon”, mainly to look up the part about vampyric servitors (though now that I mention it, that section talks of created incubi/succubi servitor/thoughtforms) as I had mentioned previously.
While going through it, the part on creating a wolf/werewolf atavism stuck out to me…
It seems simple enough in execution, and apparently the goetic Demon Marchosias comes very much into play.
I couldn’t help but think…
If all I gotta do is sigilize an atavism, perform a rite, smear blood and/or sexual fluid on sigil and burn (there’s more than that), then how hard could it be to create other atavisms (using Michael w Ford’s words…)
How many different shapeshifting forms can be created through this method? What other animals could I implement? Would this extend to vampyrism? Could I just sigilize and create a “vampire self/form” that I can just call up or invoke and dismiss?
How many other spirits (he calls elementals) can help with this type of work?
Ideas. Ideas. Ideas…
Moving on.
I have a notion that I might be pointed in the direction of some chemical gnosis.
My intuition tells me this has something to do with the abyss (lesser extent it feels like it’s about cracking open my senses more and something to do with the astral).
Speaking of the abyss…
I have a feeling that’s really gonna come into play this year. Not only that, but that it’s gonna be a big part of the next phase of things I’ve been working on for months at the behest of Azazel (and some others), but also the prelude and/or the dovetail into working the Shadownomicon…
Everytime I think about timeframe “March” comes up as the month I’ll start the Shadownomicon (at least, at the earliest it would seem. Unless I’m sorely mistaken, or delusional).
Currently I have seven charged and open gates, but I’m on a break from that for the first three weeks of the year. I was told right before the 1st of Jan to just chill and do something else for a bit. Okay. Lol
Speaking of gates.
A point that perhaps requires elucidation.
Previously I mentioned energy bridges or something along those lines. I was dodgy about the details. Dunno why.
What I was told seemed to indicate that with involvement from Belphegor somehow, I am to bridge energy (from Thagirion/the black sun?) To my astral/energy body. Not sure what this entails or what exactly this means.Not sure I truly understood tbh.
Circling back to the abyss, I’m supposed to do something with ereshkigal (also something about the Simon necronomicon…I suspect in relation to the abyss and Ganzir?) which was mentioned in tandem with whatever this Belphegor energy bridging thing was. Interesting. Belphegor, Lord of the gap also has necromantic associations to the dead from what I see. I intuited Hekate might/would be involved with the Ereshkigal thing. That might just be my own assumption. I’ve read that ereshkigal and Hekate are interrelated or the same (I don’t like to conflate that much). At any rate, I’ve gotten synchronicities of those two together off and on for awhile. I dunno.
Death current shit fo’sho.
Speaking of Death current…
Duchess Bune.
I had her sigil drawn out and put away for awhile. I’d been feeling a pull for awhile from Bune but resisted.
I think it was dec 30, I made an offering to Hecate of absinthe (she wanted some), and she had me pour some into the little jar of grave dirt I use for offerings to the dead. (I’d gotten this grave dirt from a seemingly abandoned and overgrown cemetery. I left some coins as payment after I felt that this was acceptable and that I wouldn’t anger the spirits there)
Suddenly I was pulled to grab Bunes sigil.
It immediately had a lot of energy about it, and was pulling my hand around. She wanted a shot of whiskey (I have some scotch on hand). She wanted her sigil nearby my image of Hekate. She also had me offer a stick of incense to the dead in aforementioned grave dirt while invoking her name. I did all this and she seemed satisfied.
In addition to these things Hekate had me grab Murmurs sigil which I’ve had on hand for some months moved near her image.
She had me make a sigil of murmur and charge it. Then place it hidden around my apartment somewhere. My understanding was something about keeping unruly spooks or something inline or out. 🤷
I asked if I should dismiss and burn this sigil now that 2020 was about over, and it had been around for some months. I was told no.
Whereas previously I got a sort of grouchy vibe from Murmur, this night I felt an agreeable disposition. I asked if Murmur would like me to pour out a shot of whiskey for him. No, nothing necessary.
In regards to Murmur, the following is very interesting. I was actually told to make and open his sigil the night if the day a band called “lamp of murmur” released a new album. I didn’t know this (or about this band) until the next day when it happened to coincidentally show up on my social media. Naturally I was a bit dumbfounded…
Back to Bune.
Bune has necromantic associations. I suspect she’ll be involved in whatever deathcurrent stuff seems to be in my future. Possibly in tandem with Hekate, Ereshkigal, and Belphegor? I dunno.
Bune had told me “I will be with you in the year to come…”
I hope that means I’ll have financial help. Lol
Yesterday I had a bit of a personal trial. It was a very throat chakra type of trial. Though that’s not all it was. I won’t discuss it here.
Needless to say, I had to express myself, some things had to be out on the table, I had to make a firm stance on something and speak from a place of personal integrity. Had to be at odds with a family member.
I think it was overall positive, and it may have fundamentally altered an interpersonal relationship. I think it’s safe to say I passed.
I’d seen various numbers yesterday. 111, 1111, 555, and after work while on the way to a buffet to eat I was behind a vehicle with a license plate ending in 666…must’ve made Satan proud.
I got a fortune from the buffet, had a feeling…it read “your wealth is your reputation”…I was immediately reminded of the havamal:
Stanza 76:
Cattle die, kinsman die, and thyself too shall die.
But one thing I know if shall never die.
The reputation of one who has done well.
I chilled the rest of the day yesterday.
Was tired, so I just did my mantras mentally without any fancy goings on.
Now I’m caught up I think.