Some kind of journal

Im afraid I must add a correction in regard to the previous entry…

That was not the first time I’d received a name from a spirit. (That is, without divination and solely through clairaudience)

The first time was the following:

Some time after moving into my current habitation (2…3 months in?), I woke up and next to my bed was the silhouette of a man made of a sort of vaporous, shadowy, cloudy, black mist. I don’t remember if there were eyes or not.

4175

Upon beholding this figure, almost as quickly as I became aware of it, it faded almost like a cloud of steam being blown away, or like the fog that comes out of your mouth on a cold day only to fade just inches from your face.

For the brief moment that I saw this figure it leaned forward and I heard a male voice say “Ed…”

After that I woke up.

This didn’t scare me. On the contrary I just laughed it off. I didn’t sense any malice or anything, and to see and hear something like that was both cool and exciting.

Looking up the name Edward reveals thatvit can mean something to the likes of “prosperous guardian”…

At any rate, I poured a shot of whiskey for Ed and offered it to him as a token of friendship or being a gracious host.

I kind of had the feeling he was here to watch over me for a time and keep an eye on things.

Nothing much more came of “Ed”. 🤷

Today’s been pretty lackluster so far. Looks like it wants to rain. I’m tired of the winter gloom and want spring to arrive already…

servitor ideas I’ve toyed with but didn’t implement

“Battery men”

Servitors that appear like batteries with arms and legs, maybe faces.

They would gather and store energy so that they could feed other servitors. They would gather this energy from piwerlines and transformers as well as some other elements.

There would be alternating teams that would leave to gather energy for a fortnight while the other team stayed home to feed energy to others (never giving out more than half of what they gathered).

In addition, the electrical energy they gather would function as a defense or offense by issuing electric shocks. Such a servitor would undoubtably attract astral parasites I don’t doubt.

Furthermore, these battery men could use their electricity/energy to empower and amp up astral electrical fences as a temple defense, OR they could charge the astral temple or physical one with energy for the workings or benefit of the magician.

They would also have their own (preferably large) quartz crystal for energy storage and to rest in.

I had actually had a sigil drawn up and everything but never pulled the trigger on this idea…

“The twin angels”

Angelic twin sisters embodying opposite spectrums of light and dark.

I don’t remember what their purpose would’ve been…

They would’ve been housed in two garden angels I’ve had for a few years that are weather worn and have seen a few seasons. I might’ve repainted these angels and drawn their sigils on them or something.

I actually have a proposed sigil lying around for this idea, and I even had names picked out.

I remember now. They would’ve been astral hostesses to help make spirits comfortable within the temple. One on either end of the spectrum so that any kind of spirit could be accommodated.

I think Lucifer might’ve implanted some energy in those garden angels. Or was it that I wanted him to help me create/empower them?

“Buddha/monk”

Create a servitor and house it in an aquarium Buddha that Ive had for some years and used to use for mantras or would burn incense in front of when I was trying to find some peace of mind.

His job would be to mediate when necessary, but otherwise just sit and meditate while chanting mantras in order to bring their energy into the temple. Or something along those lines…there might be been some other purposes but I don’t remember.

“Earth angel”

An angel of grounding. Her job would be to ground energy in me or the temple.

Pretty straightforward.

Her house would be an angel figurine that I’ve had for some time going back to when I was a little bit Christian still or worked with Christian imagery from a psychological model. This figurine had sat on an altar for some time so surely it has some latent energy about it.

Oh, and her energy would change with the seasons to match the energy of the season. She would also have something to do with elementals. Maybe.

One method of feeding would be to simply play the song “earth angel”

“Undead maid”

Because zombies…

She wouldn’t be gross, just undead.

Able to detach a hand to send it out in a manner not unlike “thing” from the Adams family.

She would get energy by visiting the local cemetery and absorbing energy there (preferably without drawing the ire of the dead or bringing back bogeys).

She would be aligned with death energy and under the matronage of Hecate. If allowed, she would join Hecate’s host for the sake of learning (or act as a sort of mutual servant between me and the queen of witches). OR act as a go-between for me and Hecate to relay messages and such…

In a similar manner (not a zombie though) a Butler servitor to run astral errands. I suppose I could do this on the fly for a quick servitor that will just dissipate after completion of activity.

“Wood elf or dryad/nature spirit”

She would go out to talk to trees and look for agreeable nature spirits who may be interested in working with me or being allies. She would also ask for spare energy from the trees and plants that she could bring back to the temple. Or something like that.

“Guard dog or hellhound/wolf”

Straightforward.

Though…if it was big enough. It could serve as a warg for other servitors to ride…:thinking::laughing:

Lemme see what else…

“Droids”

Pretty simple.

Different droids for different purposes. They could be switched into sleep mode when not engaged in something.

I could model one like IG88 from star wars for attack and defense.

Probe droids for patrol, drones for surveillance, etc, etc…

They could work in tandem with aforementioned battery men for a power supply. :thinking:

Recently I’ve felt a strong pull towards vampyric stuff.

I was really feeling compelled to either create a vampyric servitor, or obtain a vampiric familiar.

I tried looking around but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of info on this type of servitor/familiar.

Michael w Ford’s book of the witchmoon has a small passage though. I need to read through that…

It’s sort of tempting to see what the Akkharu sigil from the Simon necronomicon would yield but I’m a bit dubious about that…

Yet further still, there’s a rite in “Queen of Hell” where you get a vampyric familiar from Hecate. Dunno what I make of that.

On the other hand, getting a vampyric familiar from Hecate or Lilith would just make sense. Or, get their aid in creating one (in case I needed to dissipate it, though alternatively id rather release it into their hands to become a part of their legions should they get out of hand). I really hesitate on this one though.

Perhaps synchronisticly, when I was really feeling a pull towards a vampyric servitor/familiar I came across a box in the thrift store that rather looked a lot like a coffin…

I didn’t buy it though. One, as it was poorly made. Two, it didn’t merit any serious work that I might do on it.

Though…it did have a certain “old world” kind of charm about it…almost gave me a hoodoo/voodoo vibe about it as well…

Jan 9 '21:

Missed a day, now I gotta catch up.

First, dream recall:

The previous night I went to sleep late and didn’t sleep well I guess. Nothing to recall.

last night on the other hand…

I seem to have had a visitation.

I found myself on a couch in a living room of some sort. I was watching TV or whatever.

At some point I began to feel a presence on the end of the couch…

Now, I’ve had various dream interactions before and though I’m used to it, it’s a bit of a tossup as to whether it’ll be pleasant or jarring…(I might elucidate, or save it for later. Might even make a topic about some of it, we shall see)

I was on guard to say the least.

I sensed that the presence was had a strong type of personality, but was…what’s the word I’m looking for here…calm doesn’t sound right, but this presence had a certain confidence about it (“it” sounds a bit demeaning but that’s not my intention) that was how shall we say, of one mind without doubt. Resolute? Really what I mean is I didn’t sense any subterfuge or alterior motives.

This being felt somewhat masculine, and yet that doesn’t seem correct. It felt a bit…primordial? Words seem to escape me for a good description. Nevermind.

there was NO, I repeat NO hanky panky, sorry to dissapoint…hahahaha

Anyway, just about when I started to think (“well…what are we doing here?”), It started to come over near me by my legs and I’d get these intermittent waves of energy that would kinda wash over me. Every once in awhile there’s be a sort of…“squeeze” of energy when it would flare up and feel denser.

Overall it’s energy felt kinda tingly, and at moments prickly (like when you’re foots asleep).

I then begin to feel these intermittent hands that seemed to have nails or claws.

What followed was a kind of dance where I’d feel it’s energy moving around/on me in a sort of sensation play game or something, while I’m sitting there taking this in trying to figure out how comfortable I am with this and what or who I’m dealing with.

I asked a few questions but never heard anything. Well, I tried to strike up some conversation anyway…

At some point these hand started going up my shirt running up my stomach and chest.

Still a bit leery of everything I was like “are you a succubus?”

I was becoming more comfortable, and these hands started to kind of flick or poke my nipples with their nails. Seemed like it was a bit cautious to do that. I responded, “not entirely my thing but you can play with my nipples a bit, I think I might like it”

The hands started moving around more…

Suddenly my legs are held together and slowly moved up in the air.

At this point I was like, “oh wait. No. Yeah, let’s NOT do that. Is this going where I think it’s going? Cuz I’m not down for that…”

I brought my legs down, and they’d be slowly pushed up again a couple of times before it seemed to give up on that.

Suddenly, more tingles moving around. Dense prickly energy in alternating spots.

Then I was kind of poked? A nail in the ribs. Prickly, stinging energy with the sensation of a hand squeeze and a poke with a nail.

This made me jump just ever so little.
“Hey now, let’s play nice shall we? You don’t gotta do that.”

It wasn’t a thing of malice. Quite the opposite actually.

The notion that comes to mind is an image of a gorilla poking around something it doesn’t quite understand. A sort of “hey c’mon”. But with an inhuman incorporeal being I can’t see, only sense.

This kept up for a bit before I finally just got annoyed with this whole situation, and said “Nah, I’m out.”

I got up and walked around the rest of the dream. Tbh, I was just a little worried that I’d be followed around, but to it’s credit, it more or less stayed in place and/or kept it’s distance. A few times I felt the field of energy from this being here and there as it kinda hanged back with a feeling akin to, “hey…I’m still around.” But this also had the feeling of how an animal you just befriended follows you at a wary distance (once again, let me stress that I do not mean to demean with this example. Its just what comes to mind, take it as you will)

I woke up shortly after this. Wow.

I tried to feel around the room. Emptiness

More than likely this occured on the astral somewhere.

In the darkness I proved, “hey, you there?..still here?..that was really interesting. Thank you for coming, and thanks for the interaction!”

“Did you want to interact with me now that I’m awake?”
Nothing…

Aw, well. Such is the nature of these things at times.

I’m 99.99% sure that it was an INCUBUS

Now, of particular interest is the fact I was getting some synchronicities in regards to other things. And while reflecting on past seeming synchronicities that I was never sure about one thing had popped to mind.

Sometime in spring 2020? No wait…was it the winter before? I don’t know for certain, but I’d been getting these oddball things that seemed to point to incubus related stuff or whatever. The most prominent example being at one point I was looking for something innocuous on Amazon, I believe a lampshade? At any rate, I’m browsing the housing department…

I see an ad, “The Incubus” a horror movie…wierd.

Further down, an ad for a movie “Dare to Love” (or was it a book).

Uh, uh, no. Lol
I had honestly thought it was Asmodeus fucking with my head. 🤷

So this begs the question whether or not this memory may have led up to last night’s little visit.

Is Lilith having fun with me, at my expense?

I woke up somewhere around 5:20? When I finally checked the clock.

Alright, so back to yesterday…

I’d had some synchronicities, one of which is that Michael W Ford seems to keep coming up. Which is funny, because the night previous I had been going through “The Book of the Witchmoon”, mainly to look up the part about vampyric servitors (though now that I mention it, that section talks of created incubi/succubi servitor/thoughtforms) as I had mentioned previously.

While going through it, the part on creating a wolf/werewolf atavism stuck out to me…

It seems simple enough in execution, and apparently the goetic Demon Marchosias comes very much into play.

I couldn’t help but think…
If all I gotta do is sigilize an atavism, perform a rite, smear blood and/or sexual fluid on sigil and burn (there’s more than that), then how hard could it be to create other atavisms (using Michael w Ford’s words…)

How many different shapeshifting forms can be created through this method? What other animals could I implement? Would this extend to vampyrism? Could I just sigilize and create a “vampire self/form” that I can just call up or invoke and dismiss?

How many other spirits (he calls elementals) can help with this type of work?

Ideas. Ideas. Ideas…

Moving on.

I have a notion that I might be pointed in the direction of some chemical gnosis.

My intuition tells me this has something to do with the abyss (lesser extent it feels like it’s about cracking open my senses more and something to do with the astral).

Speaking of the abyss…

I have a feeling that’s really gonna come into play this year. Not only that, but that it’s gonna be a big part of the next phase of things I’ve been working on for months at the behest of Azazel (and some others), but also the prelude and/or the dovetail into working the Shadownomicon…

Everytime I think about timeframe “March” comes up as the month I’ll start the Shadownomicon (at least, at the earliest it would seem. Unless I’m sorely mistaken, or delusional).

Currently I have seven charged and open gates, but I’m on a break from that for the first three weeks of the year. I was told right before the 1st of Jan to just chill and do something else for a bit. Okay. Lol

Speaking of gates.

A point that perhaps requires elucidation.

Previously I mentioned energy bridges or something along those lines. I was dodgy about the details. Dunno why.

What I was told seemed to indicate that with involvement from Belphegor somehow, I am to bridge energy (from Thagirion/the black sun?) To my astral/energy body. Not sure what this entails or what exactly this means.Not sure I truly understood tbh.

Circling back to the abyss, I’m supposed to do something with ereshkigal (also something about the Simon necronomicon…I suspect in relation to the abyss and Ganzir?) which was mentioned in tandem with whatever this Belphegor energy bridging thing was. Interesting. Belphegor, Lord of the gap also has necromantic associations to the dead from what I see. I intuited Hekate might/would be involved with the Ereshkigal thing. That might just be my own assumption. I’ve read that ereshkigal and Hekate are interrelated or the same (I don’t like to conflate that much). At any rate, I’ve gotten synchronicities of those two together off and on for awhile. I dunno.

Death current shit fo’sho.

Speaking of Death current…

Duchess Bune.

I had her sigil drawn out and put away for awhile. I’d been feeling a pull for awhile from Bune but resisted.

I think it was dec 30, I made an offering to Hecate of absinthe (she wanted some), and she had me pour some into the little jar of grave dirt I use for offerings to the dead. (I’d gotten this grave dirt from a seemingly abandoned and overgrown cemetery. I left some coins as payment after I felt that this was acceptable and that I wouldn’t anger the spirits there)

Suddenly I was pulled to grab Bunes sigil.
It immediately had a lot of energy about it, and was pulling my hand around. She wanted a shot of whiskey (I have some scotch on hand). She wanted her sigil nearby my image of Hekate. She also had me offer a stick of incense to the dead in aforementioned grave dirt while invoking her name. I did all this and she seemed satisfied.

In addition to these things Hekate had me grab Murmurs sigil which I’ve had on hand for some months moved near her image.

She had me make a sigil of murmur and charge it. Then place it hidden around my apartment somewhere. My understanding was something about keeping unruly spooks or something inline or out. 🤷

I asked if I should dismiss and burn this sigil now that 2020 was about over, and it had been around for some months. I was told no.

Whereas previously I got a sort of grouchy vibe from Murmur, this night I felt an agreeable disposition. I asked if Murmur would like me to pour out a shot of whiskey for him. No, nothing necessary.

In regards to Murmur, the following is very interesting. I was actually told to make and open his sigil the night if the day a band called “lamp of murmur” released a new album. I didn’t know this (or about this band) until the next day when it happened to coincidentally show up on my social media. Naturally I was a bit dumbfounded…

Back to Bune.

Bune has necromantic associations. I suspect she’ll be involved in whatever deathcurrent stuff seems to be in my future. Possibly in tandem with Hekate, Ereshkigal, and Belphegor? I dunno.

Bune had told me “I will be with you in the year to come…”

I hope that means I’ll have financial help. Lol

Yesterday I had a bit of a personal trial. It was a very throat chakra type of trial. Though that’s not all it was. I won’t discuss it here.

Needless to say, I had to express myself, some things had to be out on the table, I had to make a firm stance on something and speak from a place of personal integrity. Had to be at odds with a family member.

I think it was overall positive, and it may have fundamentally altered an interpersonal relationship. I think it’s safe to say I passed.

I’d seen various numbers yesterday. 111, 1111, 555, and after work while on the way to a buffet to eat I was behind a vehicle with a license plate ending in 666…must’ve made Satan proud.

I got a fortune from the buffet, had a feeling…it read “your wealth is your reputation”…I was immediately reminded of the havamal:

Stanza 76:
Cattle die, kinsman die, and thyself too shall die.
But one thing I know if shall never die.
The reputation of one who has done well.

I chilled the rest of the day yesterday.

Was tired, so I just did my mantras mentally without any fancy goings on.

Now I’m caught up I think.

Quick anecdote:

Something interesting I remembered is that off and on I’ve gotten impressions of hands with claws/nails in my mind’s eye while I’m doing magic stuff. Notably, when I’m raising sexual energy but at some other times as well. The last time I saw something like that, it did look like a more masculine kind of strong hand with claws. I think purple skin as well (not sure though)

I have to ask myself whether or not it might be related to my “incubus (or whatever)” encounter last night. Has this entity been around me off and on for awhile?

जै छिन्नमस्ता देवी


ॐ हूँ छिन्नमस्ता नामो नमः ॐ
Mantras done and out of the way…

I got a little fancy today. The last two days or so I just did my runs of mantras with no frills. Actually the night before I kinda went ham, and played as many chinnamasta mantras as I could find. This time I wanted to go big.

Earlier today I had a nap.

When I had layed down, I felt a pressure on my scalp/crown and there was a strange sensation like a sort of megnetic energy pole inside the top of my head. It felt like it would’ve been in the location of the pineal gland, but I’m not 100% on that. I felt this pile shift around just ever so slightly once or twice.

Napped for about four hours.

Today’s been a lazy day for the most part.

I went out to go to the store, was gonna get some beer or whatever.

Well, I didn’t feel like going to the store after all but kinda had a feeling like I was supposed to do something else. Drove around a bit, and then was sure I was getting pulled to Walmart…

Once I was inside, I just let myself be led around by spirit (my spirit/s)…

First I was taken by a cupcake stand, kind of like a quick glance (is a treat desired?). Start heading to the back of the store. Stop in front of a mask display and I looked at them a bit. Funnily enough I was made to get out of the way of some folks (distancing I guess).

Then the clothing section. Shirts, then drawn over to the sweatpants. Dunno why, I got a bunch of new clothes for Christmas.

I was lead over to a stand of cold medicine. At this point I was like, “ok, I get it. It’s winter, I need to keep warm, not get sick, and stay on top of my health. Are you being a worrywort?” Lol

I decide to grab some soda.

On the way back up front I’m made to stop in front of a s’mores stand. Specifically in front of the Hershey’s syrup.

“Hershey’s huh? I don’t get it.”
I start to feel nauseous. Something is wanted and I’m not understanding. The nausea comes and goes a few times

I’m Turned around, led into the aisle that was behind me. Face a small wine section.

Hershey’s+wine…“you want wine and chocolate…now I see. Haha”

Looking at the wine in front of me I was drawn to the Apothic Dark, but my head was made to look down. White wine. Hmmm

I had been drawn to white wine in the alcohol section proper too.

I hemmed and hawed a bit. Decided I’d worry about all this tomorrow. Make a mental note.

Jan 10th Sun '21:

Dream recall:

I seemed to be somewhere that looked a lot like the home I grew up in.

My sisters and some family were there.

At some point something begins to feel off, and it’s apparent there’s a bogey or something in this living room.

I don’t remember the sequence of events entirely. Something levitated across the room? The lights might’ve flickered…

At first I was like, “guys relax. It might just be a regular spook” or something to that effect.

I start to wonder if my presence somehow brought this around, or if it’s something they’ve attracted into their home for some reason.

Is it one of mine? Causing me some inconvenience?

Soon it begins levitating/poltergeisting a knife and flying it around in these little oval laps (kind of like a kid flying an airplane, but with a knife. And in a manner somewhat reminiscent of sharks circling).

Oh, hell no.

I can’t let this stand, and a lines been crossed. Can’t be having rogues run amok.

Guess I gotta try to exorcise it. Shit.

I say “Put the knife down! By my the power of my voice, and the authority of my will, I command you! Drop the knife and let it go! Now!”

At this it almost seems to wanna hide, and the knife floats into some kind of shelving with cubbby holes.

I grab the knife (I know, risky) as I see no sign of it letting go, but it’s ability seems diminished.

What was previously a knife, now is a piece of thin metal in the shape of a hand. Was it doing a mudra?

What the hell? No matter. A piece of metal could still cut people.

I get a bit nervous. Whatever it is, didn’t relent entirely. I need backup.

Who can I call on that won’t wierd out my practicing Catholic sisters?

Light bulb goes off. Archangel Michael!

On the one hand, I’m loathe to resort to anything church based. On the other hand, considering the situation I can’t let my personal misgivings get in the way of achievable results. Moreover, if I go with something they recognize and will ascribe to I can enlist their aid in the process and there won’t be a conflict of wills.

I am the magician/sorceror. All that matters is my will. Paradigm be damned. Nothing is true, everything is permitted…

Let’s do this…

I tell them I’m gonna need their backup.

I begin, “St. Michael, I call you! I need you here, and I ask for your aide! Come, I summon you!” (Something like that)

I begin to feel a surge of presence and energy.

“Start reciting Michael’s prayer!” I say, and begin to do the same.

Suddenly, I see a light above me shine down. Like a spot light. Everything around me grows dark and I feel my spine become very erect and rigid. My crown feels like it’s being pulled by a magnet. Indeed, it almost feels like I’m going to levitate in some kind of abduction manner.

For a moment my sisters are like “what. The. fuck.”

After a moment I begin to unconsciously pace around In a circle with a demeanor of “can do”, and “let’s kick some ass” in a seeming possession of some sort. (Angelic possession?)

“Whatever you’re doing it working!” They say. This fires me up.

For some reason, I start talking and shouting like a preacher or something (ewww).

“Michael! Evict this wayward and rogue spirit! Bind him up and chain him! It has displayed itself threateningly and will not be tolerated in this space! Evict this spirit! EVICT this spirit! Cast it into the abyss (note: I say abyss. Da’ath. Not “hell”) and any other spirits that should not be welcome here! Evict! Cast it out!”

I get my sisters to join me in a chorus of “evict this spirit!”.

I go around a bit doing this making sure I hit other rooms.

I swing open a door, and despite this being a home…the door opens into what seems to be a part of a church like what the priest would go into before services. A high ceiling, and another door that seems to lead into a larger area. All shrouded in a thick darkness. Something feels rather off about it. It’s a darkness and stillness that feels like a dense forest at night. The promise of danger and things unseen hiding within the foliage. No matter. I will exorcise this too. I’ll exorcise the goddamn church if thats the problem…

Seeing the structure is beneficial to sound, I begin to sing Michael’s name and some kind of phrase I don’t remember. Holy shit, I was loud…the reverberations resounded throughout the space.

I felt a sense of fleeing. Whatever it had been was on the run.

I decided it felt like it was done.

“Well I think that took care of it. But you’re gonna need to keep an eye out, and take some measures to keep things like that out.” (I said something like this)

I don’t remember much after that.

I woke up shortly after.

That was wierd. I don’t know what brought that shit on.

Though, lately in the last couple of days I’ve been thinking about Raphael and Gabriel. Maybe this was Michael’s way of getting my attention? (Jeez dude…)

Jan 11th '21 Mon:

Dream recall:

It’s a little all-over the place…

There was some bit with what seemed like a lab, and some mutated dude that looked like a big mutant pile of flesh with a face. Wandering around a darkened lab. I think I was on the run from him. He very much reminded me of the villian from the first iron man movie…there was another mutant but don’t remember much about that…

The previous day I had watched “the secret of NIMH”, so I wonder if this had an influence. …

At another point I seemed to be at some kind of car/race meet or something. Vehicles all-over the place. I was wandering around there looking for something.

I met a guy who had a few different choppers that were in various stages of completion. He was a bit dissmissive of me to which I took a bit if offense.

At yet another point I was looking outside from inside a sheet metal she’d if some sort. Outside was just unkempt land like what you may see on a corner if a ranch that doesn’t get much upkeep.

I saw a Liynx popping a squat and taking a shit. It turned around.

This lynx looked very unkempt, disheveled and a little out of it. Kinda like it mighta had rabies or was kind of mental somehow.

It started walking toward me.
I climbed up a bunch of boxes to try to get away from it, throwing boxes down at it. Eventually I got away and was outside the premises.

I looked at what seemed to be a large compound of unkempt land with some buildings and some concrete slabs here and there.

A strange little patch of noman’s land out in the middle of what could’ve been suburbia or civilization. Strange…

Yet another part of the dream. There was an older man, mid 50’s? What was he up to? Students. Was I one of these students?

A girl gets up. He has her hand him a shoelace. “No don’t! It’s a ligature!”
He begins to strangle her. I jump him and fight him a bit.

At one point the girl was being strangled by a rosary hung on the wall. Why?

I begin to strangle the man. What’s good for the hose, is good for the gander.

At some point he’s now across from me talking to me while I strangle him (taking a long time to die…)

He’s starts to go on a long ramble about how he’s trying to acquire a new younger body. That he’s already killed a younger man some distance away, and that killing him will free his spirit to inhabit that body. If that happens he’ll be too strong for me.

The whole time he’s talking and for a bit of the next portion, “Dark rites” by “dated” is playing in the background.

Huh, “dark rites” eh? Can’t say that I conscioussly knew the name of that track…interesting.

Is this some wierd qliphoth shit?

I decide I must destroy the body he will inhabit first.

At some point the person I’m strangling turned into the girl.

I stop just as it seems she’s about to skip from life. Did she die?

There’s a sequence of events I don’t properly remember.

At some point the girl is thanking me for strangling her? “You saved a life today…” (What the fuck?..)

That’s about what I remember…wierd, wierd shit.

1 Like

Got my mantras done. It surprises me how easily I slipped into the practice.

Maybe it’s because I’ve done sadhanas in the past (one I maintained for a space of three months more or less).

The previous night I went to sleep early because I was tired. I knew I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night so I used Spotify to listen to the tracks I’ve been using, and mentally recited my mantras before falling asleep. I also put my hands together in a sort of mudra as I lay down. Pointer fingers and thumbs touching with other fingers folded together. I intuitively held this above my solar plexus chakra. I felt some energy move around while I was doing all this but I was fairly groggy so I don’t remember much about that.

Today I charged my other primary servitor familiar.

I gave her a BIG boost! She plays a more active role and seems to require more energy. Also, I’ve been neglectful and the last time I really needed her she showed up looking Haggard and tired so I had to send her home to rest and recoup. That night I gave her a large offering of blood and fire to get her back on her feet.

I played some Ambience, and set up her vessel. The clay plate/talisman I created for her, three tealights, and a blue chime candle atop her vessel. Her image on the wall behind, incense and set up my fire bowl. I drew out a sigil for burning. All of this was atop my dresser, but setup as her own altar with a blue cloth, and a plastic mat I drew her sigil on.

I won’t describe the whole process, but it took awhile.

She was very agreeable, and received her energetic empowerments and sustenance.

If I charge her after the other one she becomes very jealous and temperamental. So I decided to give them each their own day for charging so as to mitigate this.

The past few times I’ve called her she’s seemed moody. Disgruntled, maybe. I think she feels underappreciated or perhaps she doesn’t feel like her abilities are being put to good use.

Everytime I think about her temperamentalness I’ll mentally get (“…leo… :leo:”). Hecate’s doing? (Hecate helped me in the creation) So evidently she’s a leo…I don’t know what that has to do with it but whatever. She is a bit competitive with my other one though.

At any rate, she’s very chill today.

Earlier I was at the store and at one point I was browsing houseware. I was in the kitchen aisle and I started to feel a loving energy on me. Dunno what that’s about…I was also pulled around to some other things. Seems like decorations may be desired…

The day previous I had charged my other primary servitor/familiar.

I could sense that it didn’t seem to really be necessary. But again, I’ve been neglectful…

Similarly I set up a sort of altar with red cloth. I sensed red was wrong. Her primary element is earth, and an earthy color would be preferred it would seem…three red tealights (by contrast these were A-okay). A stick of sandalwood incense. Her images and her creation document (Damon brand method). She also had received some Ambience.

I gave her an energetic offering that took awhile.

In the begining she excitedly sat on my lap and looked me in the face. “I want more!” (Referring to her minions).

To which I responded, “No. You’ve got plenty, and anyway you need to be stronger than they are so you can keep them in line”

She seemed to like this answer.

When all was said and done, she gave me a kiss on the forehead as the offering was completed.

Later she came to me and said “I want more!” ( This time she meant energy)

I said, “not today. Maybe later. I’ll try not to let there be such a long stretch from now on.”

Her: “do you swear?” (Holding out her pinky)

Me: “you want a pinky promise?..lol” “I won’t do that. Words have power and I don’t like to put my word on something if I might not keep it. You’ll just have to take me at my word for now without any promise.”

She said “okay!” and beamed.

Le sigh

At first they were kinda like zombies, but now they have so much personality, and I love them. I’m proud of them too.

Jan 12 '21 Tues:

Last night I got to bed late, and I think this made it hard to recall anything.

No dream recall this time

Earlier in the day I was feeling a sort of rage. But under the surface. Not rage at anything in particular. Just a sort of silent rage (rage might be too strong a word, and yet anger isn’t it either…I dunno, why overthink it right?).

This seems to happen around 8-9 am like clockwork.

Anyway. This is something I acknowledge as a part of me. Rage is within me. I am not rage. I acknowledge this aspect of myself, I accept it for what it is, I do not shame myself for having rage within me, and I do not shame that rage for being there. It has its own time and place, and it has a life within me. I watch it rise up, and I watch how it sits within me. On its own, disengaged. It’s actually kind of fascinating…

On another note…

I’ve noticed for weeks, months…that when I’m having certain types of thoughts, usually about how something angers, offends, or otherwise rubs me the wrong way, that my head will start to tingle. At moments it’ll be the whole crown depending on how lost in these sort of thoughts I am. It doesn’t seem to matter how engaged in these thoughts I am, only the subject of these thoughts and I’ll start getting tingles.

I have no idea what that means, whatsoever. Is it related to a spirit or entity? Or does it have something to do with my crown or sahasrara chakra? If so, why?

On this point, it’s also curious to note that occasionally when I get into these trains of thought, my spirit/s will start to try to get my attention usually by turning my head (partial possession). As if to get my mind off things. Dunno why, as these are usually more absent-minded thoughts but I guess they don’t like my dwelling on such things. 🤷

Did my mantras today (I don’t feel like I’ve hit the point where I need to stop yet. Guess I’m in for the long haul…)

Speaking of mantras, I had to buy a new mala since I can’t find my rudraksha mala. For some reason, my intuition was that I need a green mala…

I ended up buying four for the price of one. I received them today. I’m a little annoyed that the beads are so small. Don’t think that was apparent from the listing. Whatever. They’ll work. Something I do like is that they’re doubles. 216 beads. 2x108. As double rounds or more of 108 are a big part of this mantra practice I’m currently maintaining…on that note, I did two rounds on this new mala for chinnamasta (that’s what was wanted apparently). 108x4=432


Green one isn’t pictured cuz I’m currently wearing it.

Got my enns done too. Missed a day last night and got called out for it first thing in the morning. :sweat_smile:

Somebody just touched my right side above the hip I think. A wave of cool tingly energy. Been awhile since that’s happened.

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Jan 13th '21 New Moon tonight:

Dream recall:

Tried to retain what I could but it seems a lot passed through my grasp.

That said, I seem to remember being presented with various choices kinda like a game show.

There was a man on top of some pile in front of and above me. He was the one “quizzing” me with these choice questions.

It’s too fuzzy, but there might be been something about some kind of matchmaking? Like there was a match for me? I don’t know…

At some point the choices took a different angle and it seems there was a push to get me to accept a certain situation or choice of some sort. I took some issue and started to argue this.

I felt a bit suspicious, and when I started to ask who this was on the pile I mentally received a name (…Belial…).

At this point I found the whole thing a bit amusing. “Belial…you messin with me?” Lol

There might have been a short exchange after this…I don’t remember…

Was there something to do with animals? Bird or…frog? Or another animal? For sure bird?

I don’t know…

The funny thing is…I’ve been getting that feeling like I need to check in with Azazel. So, before bed I voiced aloud the following, “Azazel, I know I probably need to contact you. I’m tired right now, but I invite you to communicate with me in my dreams. Hopefully I’ll remember. My recall is pretty good right now…”

As I lay in bed last night, I also spoke to the spirit or spirits that are usually around me a bit before I fell asleep. Though I don’t think I got any response from them. Which is fine. Lol

This morning, before I left I said “whoever’s coming let’s go” which is a something I’ve kinda fell out of the habit of…

Been doing that for most of the latter half of 2020 (I live in my own, so I can act crazy like this lol).

Sometimes I feel the spirits that follow me out the door. For a time it was consistently 3.

Once I felt a train of what seemed to be 9 spirits file out the door behind me.

I digress…

One of my main servitor/familiars elected to stay behind today and “watch the fort” so to speak.

She told me before I left “I want a treat…”
Not sure what she had/has in mind. I’ll figure it out later today…

This afternoon when I got home there was a distinct stillness in the temple (apartment).

Like all the air got sucked out.

Nobody home

That in mind, though it’s not usually my thing…ill probably do some kind of banishing and wipe the slate clean. Or rather, an aligning. Either way, I need to clear out the old energy and call in new. I’ll probably do Asenath Mason’s version of the LBRP from “Tree of Qliphoth”. Then again I might do something completely different. Probably will…we shall see.

I’ve learned that on new and full moons some of the spirits that are usually around will leave for a time (sometimes this can be a good week or so, sometimes longer).

In the past I’ve experienced upticks in astral interactions around the new moon. :new_moon_with_face: Moreso when I’m working for some reason. Maybe that’s cuz I’m “out in the open” so to speak…

I’ve “seen” some interesting things on these occasions.

At work, after asking if it would be a good idea…I created a rather large sigil of Belial. I opened and activated it, rubbing my fingers around it clockwise so that it’ll push Belials energy OUT. I then breathed energy into it. I saw in my mind’s eye a hand giving me a thumbs up. I might’ve heard Belial chuckle. I proceeded to hide it in my work area somewhere close by. Hahaha

I’ve done this before with Belphegor’s, and Leviathan’s (Dukante) sigils.

I had Leviathans out in the open since it really doesn’t look much more than a goofy drawing to those not in the know. It was out for…maybe 3 months?

I’ve had Belphegor’s sigil at work for maybe a month and a half or so now. Hidden.

I’ve also hidden an inverted cross at work for the span of multiple months before removing it.

Let’s see…what am I on about anyway?

Moving on…

While looking over S. Connolly’s Daemonolotry Goetia looking for spirits that might help with “shapeshifting” (inspired by Michael W. Ford’s “book of the Witchmoon” in which Marchosias is used to initiate lycanthropy), I came across Ose “can change a man into any form”, and Andrealphus “can transform men into birds”. This should prove interesting for future ideas…

Actually…not entirely unrelated. I happened to look at the entry on Dantalion…

“Authors notes: Helps one relate with others on an emotional level. Teaches emotional intelligence and heightens empathy for others.”

A chord was struck, a bell rung, a light had gone off…

Weeks ago I had been advised to work with Dantalion, or that Dantalion wanted to work with me.

Unrelatedly (or actually, maybe it was totally related) I’d been told something to the effect of “You’re emotionally closed”.

Ironically I have a strong heart chakra, so maybe being emotionally closed is a defense mechanism. I actually can be somewhat sentimental when I watch a movie by myself.lol

So, I guess I gotta get around to contacting Dantalion at some point.

Today I was feeling that pull towards the vampyric…really need to start delving into that.

Jan 14th '21 Thurs:

Dream recall:

It’s a little choppy. I didn’t sleep well, and had gone to bed late…

There was definitely something notable, but I forgot.

The rest seems kind of mundane.

The family cats had gone missing for some reason.

I was out and about doing something for some reason but I don’t know that I really achieved whatever it was I was apparently trying to do.

I was on a quest for energy drinks.
I was at a gas station and it felt like there was something important about it for some reason…

At some point my belt popped and broke. I was unhappy to realize how big my stomach looked (I’ve gained some unnecessary weight which I guess is coming up in my dreams now, probably should fast it off).

When this happened I met and started talking to somebody who, now that I’m awake I realize probably appeared during this sequence because they’re overweight.

There was a girl I recognized, though I don’t know from where…with this other person.

I was trying to get myself out together for a job I haven’t worked in years but was failing miserably. Shit, I’m late and barely found my uniform…

There’s something else Im missing, I’m sure of it…oh, well.

If I was to interpret all this I’d say it’s largely about having or feeling of loss of control or stability. Just not being on top of things. I guess.

Gotta give myself a pat on the back for maintaining my journaling thus far. And for my ability to almost daily recall dreams.

I didn’t expect this to go this well. Haha

Mantras are done…

Fire was wanted apparently, and in the big bowl.

This generated enough upward draft to start spinning my ceiling fan at a slow regular pace. Lol

I might wanna be careful with that in future. Maybe not as much alcohol. But it does give me ideas…

Feel like I should do a cord cutting ritual…
Kind of wanna go with Hekate, but Michael has been coming through apparently and it seems he’s one of the gotos for cord cutting. We shall see…

I’ve been meaning to incorporate the Three suns meditation into my routine somewhere…

Though I do a “Four Sun’s” version, where there’s a fourth black sun that you imagine going down through your spine.

Also the way I do it, I inhale each sun Down through my spine and for a few breaths I “pump” it’s energy up and down a few times throughout my energy body with a long inhale and a slow exhale. On the exhale I visualize the sun’s energy or flames blazing throughout my energy body. Then I let it go and move on til I get to the white sun.

At the white sun, I’ll pump it a few times and then visualize it setting my energy body alight with blinding light akin to a welding torch.

At the black sun, I’ll once again pump it a few times, then I’ll visualize it blackening my energy body with dense black/blue/purple energy and light. A deep darkness with a sort of nebulous energy surrounding it and emmitting from it. Think Dark Matter.

From there what I had did in the past was move on to shielding and other stuff. Or would just jump right into the void meditation.

Pumping the sun’s up and down the spine is with the intention of energizing and clearing the chakras.

This time last year I was doing this fairly regularly at work during my breaks. I’d go off into a part of the building that’s not used, sit in the dark and begin visualizing.

Honestly…I need to do a lot of things. Lol

Speaking of chakras…

Maybe up to about two weeks ago…

I was off and on getting this phenomena where my sacral chakra would activate, but it would have a distinctly hungry sensation. Like sexual hunger…which is a wierd sensation to say the least. This would come with arousal, but didn’t really feel like lust.

It was sporadic, but it actually started to worry me. “*Wtf…I’ve never heard of chakra hunger…is my chakra turning vampyric!? What does that mean? Why? Is something wrong with it?..is this an opportunity? Should I explore this vampyrically?..is it a spirit?”

Well anyway, at some point I connected it to a spirit interaction. Funny way of getting attention. Hasn’t really happened since I made that connection though. :person_shrugging:

Jan 15 '21, Friday:

Very little dream recall. I know they were vivid, but I didn’t sleep well.

I remember that at some point I was in the workplace and somehow I’d grown to be 7 ft tall or so. I had to stoop down to get through doors.

What does it mean?


When I got my first break at work today, I left for a secluded part of the building in the dark. Grabbed a chair and sat down with eyes closed.

I decided I would do Asenath Mason’s qliphotic middle pillar, and then her version of the LBRP as best as I could remember (as I understand it, though my intention was less banishing and more balancing).

Come to think of it, that’s backwards as the middle pillar should come second…oh well.

When I got to the balancing, I started in the west.

Here, I realize I might’ve had something else reversed…the four angels of prostitution come after the quadrants are called. Oops…

A reverse invocational pentagram of black flames…who goes in the west? I intuited it would be Eisheth. Okay.

I called her, and a black shadow with glowing red eyes in the silhouette of a woman walked up out of thin air…

(I was facing east) she came up behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders for a moment. There was something else but it slips my memory. It was interesting. Was it really Eisheth? or what my subconscious came up with?

I proceed through the rest until I return to the west. I then call on the elemental Lord’s. I don’t remember who was stationed in the south, so I went with S Connolly’s attribution of Flereous (Haired). I might’ve called Satan in the center, don’t remember.

[A quick note on Flereous. I’ve only called on him a couple times, usually for balancing like this. The first time I did, I had my eyes closed and this is what I saw…
While reciting his enn, there was a wall of intense red flames in front of me. These flames were also DOORs that were rather large. Eventually they opened and this is how he appeared to me. I saw a man who face was obscured by the shadows of a widebrimmed hat. I believe he had long unkempt dirty looking hair. Blonde? He was wearing a large duster, leather I believe, and leather boots. There was a feather of some sort in the hat. His clothing looked very worn and weather-beaten and the duster might’ve been tattered in some spots. The entire ensemble gave me a sort of…midieval vibe? Like someone you find in a forest that was a looter maybe. Or a ranger like in an RPG or something. I remember getting a bit of an intense demeanor. Not really the most friendly.]

As this was practice, I made sure to thank all involved and give the license to depart.

Around this time last year or so, I had been told to practice something along these lines and had been doing so in the same space.

I later kept getting a mental images of red flowing eyes in this room. I finally went to check on it, and could sense a sort of perturbed feeling. Not happy (also when I was walking up I got a mental image of a dark shadow with red eyes, large frame tall walking towards me with the demeanor of someone fetching you for something).

As I had not been polite enough to do a proper closing or giving license to depart, they were unhappy with me and annoyed. I’ve made a mental note of this ever since.

Later in the workday I started to feel very calm. I was very contemplative and going over a lot of stuff that I don’t feel like writing out.

At some point I started to have the very distinct feeling that I’m on the cusp of something. Like I’m on the threshold of something new. A feeling that I’m about to have some kind of release and walk through the next door.

This feeling also came with a bit of a teary eyed sensation. The feeling of having reached the end of an arduous journey and finally arriving at your destination. Of having endured a lot to get here. A bittersweet happiness and gratitude that it all be behind you soon. The feeling of having made it. That at long last, you’re about to open the door to the next chapter…

All while feeling a calm and serenity and going about my work. This lasted for about an hour or more before fading away. I still felt this calm for the rest of the workday though.

I don’t know what that was about…

Jan 16 '21, Saturday:

*Dream recall:

So, I was u and down a little.

For sure I had some kinda dream before I woke up right at 2:55 AM but don’t remember what it was. I probably should’ve got up and did something magical but I was tired and needed to catch up on my sleep. Haven’t been sleeping well the last few days.

Anyway…

Here’s what I do remember.

I had parked my bicycle and locked it somewhere at a gas station. The rundown ugly kind you find in older parts if cities and neighborhoods. I was at this station for some reason I don’t remember.

I leave this station and go on a bit of a journey or something don’t really remember only to finally make it back and get my bike and leave.

There might be a break here where on dream ends and another begins…

I’m at some version of my apartment. Evidently, the maintenance guy was fired and replaced by the lady that handles a lot of the office stuff and calls at my job. She’s out there using a weedwacker and shit. Hmmm

Alright, here’s where things get very interesting

Keep in mind, I’d been listening to a bunch of music yesterday afternoon/night. Some of which was a playlist on Spotify called “Café Africa”

(In spite of this being an apartment complex) I see what looks like an African (Nigerian?, Ethiopian?, no idea…they were definitely from overseas though…) Family and extended relatives moving in. Large family.

Judging by the furniture I was seeing they seemed fairly well to do.

Moreover, I guessed they had twins. I was seeing a lot of twin furniture (NICE looking furniture). Case in point, there was a set of side by side cradles, made of some kind of wicker with dark paint or stain. These cradles had some kind of fancy curtains above them, two little teepees of lace and silk to draw closed over the babies.

I never saw any children though. Mostly adults, dressed somewhat formal in most instances. A lot of older women. The elders of the family, aunt’s, cousins, etc.

They seemed like very upbeat people. Cheerful.

There’s a divergence here for a bit.

There’s a man. Jeff goldblum? (I’d watched “The Isle of Dogs” yesterday, and believe his voice was one of the dogs…so this is a bit funny).

He had a machine he was using that would cancel out all sound, and was apparently supposed to have some kind of unpleasant psychological effects I guess. Was he some kind of mad scientist?

At some point I’m joined by a girl I used to work with at a previous occupation.

She’s short, maybe 4ft something? I’m 5’11 and she only comes up to my chest more or less. A short, kinda chubby black girl with a raucous laugh, who can be a little sensitive at times (she’d cried like a child in trouble with her mother a few times when she’d gotten in trouble with the manager). She has a little boy who’s beloved by her elderly father, an older black gentleman who’s body’s been beatup by a life of hard labor, short, upbeat drives a truck. Rancher/farmer type of guy when you see him.

We decide were gonna stop Jeff goldblum (god, that’s wierd…)

We start making our way through a small corridor with multiple bedrooms, each one has some kind of bedding against the wall. I digress…

I abort because we can’t make it before the machine gets fired up again. (Though we apparently had a counteracting machine of our own we had fired up to cancel his out before venturing to stop him)

Now, in the back of this hallway there was an entrance to an ornate staircase leading up somewhere, this was shrouded in darkness and there was that sort of thick unnerving feeling like a low hanging cloud or fog of foreboding…

Evidently she went to check out the staircase.

When I was some yards away she suddenly called out "_____! Help! I saw two glowing #$#& (did she say eyes or bald of light?)! I’m scared! I’m telling him he needs to crossover! Help! (Sounds like something about what “he” wants but I don’t remember…).

Oh, hell no…

I jump into action, and when I get to the entrance I can feel a field of repelling energy. She was cowering in front of the staircase with her head down and her hands on her head.

I can’t get close…

“I need you to grab my hand! I’m being repelled but for some reason you can walk around in this energy!”

After some coaxing she grabs my hand and pulls me in front of the staircase. Feels like walking against the current of a river. I never let go of her hand, because she’s my anchor and the only thing that keeps me from being booted out by the energy.

I never actually see the entity (seeings not my strong suit.)

I hold out my right hand (projecting side) and begin to shout.

“By the authority of my will, I command you to back down and begone!”
I am the magician/witch now. At this proclamation and show of power she suddenly looks at me like a deer in the headlights.

At this point the curious happens. I begin to speak with the voice and inflection of an older black man. An African accent. I seem to be channeling some kind of elder? I could actually feel my mouth moving in my sleep in an unintelligible kind of whispering/mumbling.

The man that seems to be channeling through me has a sort of upbeat confidence about him despite the situation. He/I have got this. I’m working through him as much as he’s working through me…he seems to be enjoying this almost…

I/he/we start again, “Hecate, I call you now! Come and help me banish this entity! I INVOKE you!”

“As a child of Hecate, I command you spirit to leave!” (This is interesting because I would never call myself a child of Hecate in waking life. I don’t consider myself a child of Hecate, so this brings up interesting questions…)

I say some other stuff I don’t remember, and the energy seems to be dissipating.

While holding her hand I enlist her aid as an extension of power. Between the two of us we have a balance of masculine and feminine energy. I give her instructions as we proceed to project energy and banish any miasma or residue of the entities presence. I have to encourage her because she keeps saying “but I’m scared!” With her eyes closed.

I don’t remember much after this but I’m pretty sure we got rid of it and shortly after I woke up.

I got up and walked around a bit. For a moment I saw a little bright light like a spark or bright white led light fly by my right peripheral vision. Though, for context’s sake my head hurt and it kinda felt like I might have the beginnings of a migraine (sleep hangover). That said, I watched this teeny tiny light fly right by me very vividly. Looked right at it. It flew about a foot before dissapearing all in a second or less. I dunno. Maybe a trick of the eyes, but I won’t completely discount it.

This is wierdly similar to the dream I had with Michael.

Am I doing exorcisms for people in my sleep or something?

I’ve had dreams in the past where it seemed like I was giving people psychological advise or help before, and they’d react kinda funny, like I was in their dream and caught them off guard or something…

Was it me or the man apparently channeling through me that proclaimed “as a child of Hekate”?
What was the significance of the implied twin babies?
Did I see this girls ancestors?
Did an ancestor channel through me?
Were they people, or just some type of African spirits?
What was the deal with the spirit in the staircase?
Did Hekate have me doing something?

If so, I thank her for this interesting experience. Hail to the queen of witches and lady of crossroads! Mighty Titan and goddess!

This might tie into something I was thinking about yesterday, but I’m not typing all that up right now. Haha


On the subject of African spirits, Id like to relate the following…

When I moved into my current apartment (mid to late Oct 2019), I had a strange dream within the first week or so…

At some point I became a bit lucid.

I was laying in my bed.

A beautiful thin African woman walks up wearing blue/green clothing. Tribal? She had a green headdress scarf. Formfitting dress, and a sash not unlike an Indian sari. She had a very calm, centered, and self assured confidant personality. I don’t remember any jewelry. She seemed very simple, grounded. Very calm, almost angelic.

I liked this lady.
I wouldn’t say she was making eyes at me, but there was a look she was giving me.

I don’t remember much of what was said except a rather curious statement…

She said “If you let me sit on your chest, I can help you. I can give you financial help.” Or something to that effect…

I think she crawled up on me at this point. I made note that she was barefoot.

I said something to the likes of “well, I like you and you seem like a very nice lady. You have a beautiful energy about you. Ive got no problem with your offer. Something, something, something…”

I don’t remember if she straddled me or seemed to kneel down on top of me with a calm sort of sweet smile.

I woke up shortly after this exchange.

Never really came into extra money or anything, and never had any further interactions with this lady from my dream.

Here’s the interesting thing…

Some weeks later, I found out that the young man two apartments over (dude had a funny habit of running past and down the stairs every morning like some kind of bad anime trope) was an African exchange student. Though I don’t know from where…I’d heard him talking outside a few times and he had a very heavy accent. The go-to guess would be Nigeria, or Ethiopia…if memory serves me right those are the two countries that immigrate to the states the most from the African continent.

Looking back, I wonder if this lady in my dream was something akin to a hamingja.

I don’t know anything about African spirituality so all I can do is guess.

Funnily enough, this dude got evicted some months later. Money problems? I dunno but it’s interesting to note.

There was this one night late spring where I was laying back in bed. Right in front of my face just a few inches away I audibly heard what sounded like a black woman say “Byyyeeee…” Softly in an amused tone. With a sound like, “I think you’re silly…but I like you.” I just laughed at this. It was so out of the blue. Very cool.

There was also this one time at work before leaving this last summer maybe mid June? Or was it July? Again I audibly heard what sounded like a very beautiful soul music type of singing/humming come from behind me (let me emphasize, that it sounded really good). I wondered (“what radio station is that? Damn, that girl can sing”) It was time to leave so I went to make sure the radio was turned off… It. Was. OFF. I thought it had been ON and the source of the singing…
I asked my coworker if he had heard that beautiful singing…

I didn’t hear anything…:person_shrugging:” He said.

No.fucking.way… you didn’t hear that? I swear I could actually feel the vibrations like it was coming out of the radio…”

At this I got a dismissive attitude. And a sort of “dude c’mon. You’re being crazy…”

(I don’t remember what I’d been doing magically, so this might be been some kind of passerby)

I don’t know that these things are related at all. But they are interesting occurrences nevertheless…

Burned some old chaos magic sigils I’d been sitting on for some years. Don’t really know what they were all for.

One was a set arranged around a chaos wheel from '09 I believe.

Casting, and cleansing…

I out lavender oil in the alcohol base and anointed the sigils and pages from the old notebook.

I lit the fire and chanted the chant for rousing power:

"Itz rachu mantantu vespacha kaltamu
Itz ranta mant kala mant atzu beltazu
Vaskalla itz rachu kantantu velchatza!"

"Alash tad’alash tal’ashtux3"

Then I invoked Hekate.

I could feel a pressure on my third eye during these proceedings…

I breathed energy into the fire, and drew invocational pentagrams over the pages.

Using tongs I burned them in the order my intuition told me…

"By my holy will, I commend these sigils to flame and fire! That which is great and best shall come to pass! That which is not in my best interest shall burn away! They shall burn away along with the past motivations that wrought them! In the crucible of my will I commend these sigils to the flames! I commend you to flames! Burn! Burn! Burn away!"

Towards the end I heard and felt a chuckle bubble up out of me just a bit.

Hekate was amused? (The kind of laugh a teacher or parent might make when a child or pupil does something well, putting into action their lessons)

I closed down and finished…

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Jan 18th Monday:

Missed a day. Gotta catch up.

No dream recall as I was kind of up and down this morning (gotta stop hitting snooze)

And the day before I just couldn’t retain the dream. 🤷


Yesterday was a lazy day.

I felt a lot of negativity wanting to well up out of me. Cabin fever I suppose…

I was messing around with my tarot cards, and it seemed pretty obvious that they were wanting to talk. I got a rather interesting reading that sent Down a bit of a rabbithole. Got on YouTube and used my higher self to pick out readings that might corroborate. There was definitely a pattern, but I remain somewhat unconvinced of the information I was receiving. Time will tell…

I was gonna keep it real simple with the mantras, but when I got to Chinnamasta’s mantra I went all in anyway. 🤷 I was gonna keep it at 218 repititions, but evidently more was necessary. Ended up at 654. Sheesh.

I had previously gone to the store, and when I was there I remembered to Hekate had told me to make an offering to the dead. I’d received the intuition that the offering needed to be bread. And when I was getting the bread at the store I knew it was supposed to be soaked with a bit of liquor (I’ve got some scotch at home.)

In the midst of getting the bread ready, I was made aware that Bune wanted my attention.

Also, I needed to put Murmurs sigil by the jar of grave dirt I use for offerings to the dead (portable cemetery anyone? :laughing:)…

I was instructed to pour a small libation into the grave dirt in addition to the whiskey soaked into the bread. Okay. I also lit a candle and placed it in the jar.

It only felt fair to give bread to Hekate as well while I was at it. Garlic was requested, and I always try to have a jar of minced garlic in the fridge so I obliged.

I was asked to play and recite Hekates enn during these proceedings, so I did. I have a yak skull mala of skull beads that I primarily use for Hekate (as well as Kali). I’ve previously done a 90 day stint with this mala to energize it. Mostly it sits by her image, but last night it got put to use.

Afterwards I was asked to play and recite Bunes enn (understandably, I felt a little annoyed to have do all this after the mantra practice I’m currently on but it just be like that sometimes…)

At one point I closed my eyes, and I could see a blurry Brian shadowy image of a large brown serpent dragon thing with whiskers and bright red eyes. It seemed to have a rather intense aura, rather primal and fierce. Bune???

By the end I was quite tired. It was late, and something about reciting Bunes mantra made me rather sleepy towards the end…


(Not the sigil I use/d but I like this one)

The question remained…
Well, do I need to do Murmurs enn too while I’m at this? (“NO”)
Intuition: murmurs sigil is a ward. In case of unruly dead. He doesn’t need to actively be called.
(“You don’t need that energy right now…”)
For a moment I get a rather heavy, dark, almost feral impression. I remember Murmurs energy feeling rather intense and bit grouchy months ago when I had initially made the sigil at Hekates behest and guidance.

Yeah. Okay. Probably don’t want to deal with that at this moment. lol

Point noted.

I went to sleep with the skull mala on, and it was midday when I had to laugh at myself realizing I’d seemingly unconsciously picked a green shirt to wear today. And at a hurry no less. Wonders never cease.

I went to the store and had ended up behind a license plate with 222. I’d seen 2:22 on my phone at work. Passing a car while parking I noted 777. On the way home leaving the store a sign right by the exit next to me. A phone number ending in 666. I laughed out loud.

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Jan 19th '21 Tues:

*Dream recall:

It’s choppy…

At some point there was this whole thing with some girl talking about POWER, it was a whole diatribe or whatever…

She was wearing a skirt or kimono…think it was a kimono.

The whole time she’s yammering about power and he she wants it or she’s getting it, she’s. Got one foot on some guy, and for some reason she just has little streams of water running down her legs. It was like she was getting RIDICULOUSLY wet talking about power…I woke up, 2:50 AM

Jesus, what the hell…go back to sleep.

At some point I see Vlad Tepes, yes…Dracula, the impaler of wallachia. Riding around on his horse with some of his men and banners flying in the wind. At first I was really there (incredulous at what I was seeing…because holyshititsmotherfuckingVladTepesinfrontmewhy?), But then it was like I was seeing it on a TV.

There was some guy going on some kind of ramble about Vlad. Don’t really remember what the gist of it was. Trying to connect him to Spain I think. 🤷

At some point towards the end of that I remember seeing some chick burst into a bunch of bats. Because vampires I guess.

Then I woke up, and had to get ready for work.

There was also a lot of wandering around dreamscapes. I remember taking a shower in some fairly nice looking apartment or hotel. Elevator? I think I remember going on an elevator. Really though anything else is too fuzzy.


Was feeling a lot of rage at work between nine and ten thirty or so.

Been feeling unproductive and it seems to be getting to me.

Last night I got the tarot cards out again. I had previously reordered the deck, cleansed with Palo Santo and shuffled it a bunch to really clear the deck. I then wrapped it in my black silk cloth I have and set it aside.

I was interested to see what this did.

Sure enough, whereas before I was getting cards flying out fairly quick, this time there was a good deal of time where it was like a new deck and I didn’t really seem to be getting much from it.

It might not be the best approach, but my approach is mostly intuitive and I don’t usually ask a question. I just see what the cards wanna tell me…

At some point the cards started to plop out and I got a reading that was rather a bit interesting. Not really sure what to make of it. Took a pic for future reference.

Nine of swords had plopped out first. Anxiety…

Next three cards fell out. Intuited that I should reverse the order.

Judgement, king of wands facing towards judgement. Then Ace of swords. Hmmmm

Next fell out two of cups. For some reason I felt it needed to be sideways the way it fell., Then fell out death…

The interesting bit is that the queen of wands fell right on top of death. King and queen of the same suit, two of cups, judgement and death…wow.

Next fell out 9 of cups, and five of cups.

On the bottom of the deck after those, the empress…

Afterwards I placed it on the shelf with all my crystals (not a ton but a god number I’ve had for some time…) And placed a black tourmaline upon the deck.

A previous reading looked like the following…

First fell out justice, the next two cards I don’t remember too well …_____ & I wanna say…nine of pentacles?

Above those three I got the heirophant and the empress…

Just as I was thinking…“justice could be a legal thing…but justice+heirophant+empress could be interpreted as a wedding I think…”

I shit you not, out falls the queen of wands, the queen of pentacles reversed, and the page of cups facing the two of them. Two love interests? Two potential “wives”? Mind-blown

Dunno what that’s about, maybe I unconsciously influenced the cards…maybe I ended up reading some one else in the apartment complex. I dunno.

Certainly interesting though…

Really should practice more divination. At least for the sake of exercising my clairvoyance…

Earlier I had lay down on the bed for a bit, and almost thought I felt something on the with me. Not enough to say for certain. If there was it was super subtle. :thinking:

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Happened to remember the previous reading. So I recreated it for future reference.

Since I had the deck out, I thought “I’ll ask about the outcome of my current mantra endeavor with chinnamasta…”

Lo:

It took a bit, then rather suddenly the Ace of wands fell out (bottom of the deck, Lovers). Very nice.

Then out fell Temperance (bottom of the deck Queen of wands). In keeping with what chinnamasta represents…

Next fell out the Lovers, very interesting, and the strength card had flipped over.

Next three cards flipped over. Nine of cups and knight of cups flanking either side of the two of swords.

Finally the star:star2: card jumped out. Shuffled a bit more but nothing else was jumping and I sensed a finality.

When I picked up the Lovers card I realized Eight of wands had been stuck to and hiding behind it. Whoa

Very interesting…

Speaking of mantras…I need to go do them.