New Member

I was just told I have to introduce myself, so here I am. I don’t really know what to say, I’m going through a tremendous loss at the moment, my oldest daughter’s dad was killed in a freak accident with a train, so my mind is…quite preoccupied.

I was raised Roman Catholic but never felt right about anything that they said, even as a kid. When my second girl was a baby I took the four of us and got us baptized into gnostic christianity in another province. I had one more girl since & we went into the trees & did a pagan ceremony. Not that I think that everyone needs to be baptized or anything, I just wanted to.

I’ve never been into deities or demons or things like that, but in the past year all of a sudden Hekate, then Lucifer, then Lilith were all up in my face everywhere I turned, so I learned & am learning everything I can find about them.

Last night was my first try with anything other than witchcraft. I tried a pathworking with Lucifer.
There is a horrible, evil human being making posts on Facebook & laughing & taunting people about the accident. I want her punished beyond belief, but not killed. No idea if it will work, I hope so.

Anyway…

I am literally split right down the middle. Before I realized what I am, I would try to explain myself to people. I’ve always known I was different. I described myself as feeling like I have a line drawn down the centre of my body & that the left side could be beyond mean, almost demonic, (a seething rage could describe it) & the right side is all this crazy unconditional love that just wants to heal everyone & everything & fix this fucked up world.

At one point I was diagnosed as a sociopath, but I wondered how I could be like that & be a total emotional empath the same time. That didn’t make sense to me. Because I’ve always liked to pick myself apart & figure out everything, & really truly know myself, I’ve figured it out. I DO love…almost everyone. Unless you’re a truly evil person. Ie: someone who hurts, rapes, tortures & kills animals, or someone who rapes children, kidnaps them, tortures them, sells them…someone who physically or mentally tortures their partner, someone who deeply hurts me or especially my children (I always pity that fool, cuz it doesn’t end well for them, by my own hand before magick came to me) or someone that I love. Then I have something in me that is ruthless, relentless & has no remorse.

I’m not petty. It takes a LOT to anger me. Many people have asked how I can be so patient & put up with so much. But once I’m there, someone is going to learn a lesson the hard way. And I’m eerily calm by this point.

I love finally knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and doing exactly what I’m supposed to do. Every single day for almost 2 years now I see the repeated numbers (11:11, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, etc) as long as I’m on the right path. As soon as I start straying, it stops completely. I get back on track & it starts again. I take screenshots of it & now have hundreds from this past year alone.

The world cannot be fixed with love & light & hugs as much as we all wish this to be true. Sometimes shit needs to get done. I am an honest person, & loyal as fuck, & the best friend you could ever have - if I let you in, which is rare. (because people can generally not be trusted) But fuck me over & you’ll wish you never met me. I used to think this was a bad thing. It’s not.

So I help & heal, but I also do everything that I can to punish evil. I feel like it’s my job, oddly enough. Even as a child I was like that. And now I have all these new tools that I wasn’t aware that I had at my disposal. The last 2 years been a huge awakening & I learned so many things.

I want to learn more about Lucifer really. I don’t consider him a demon at all, just my feeling, but I don’t know. I don’t believe that he’s Satan, I don’t really believe in Satan; of course that doesn’t mean that he’s not real. I’d like to get to know What Lucifer is all about & what he can do.

Hopefully that wasn’t too long, sometimes I can really get talking when I actually do.

3 Likes

Thank you for doing an introduction, and welcome :slight_smile:

1 Like

LOL In the email instead of the emoticon it said, “slight smile.” And yeah, no problem.

1 Like

Hi and welcome to the community!

Wow! What an introduction! I love your style. :slight_smile: A go-getter, the best way to be.

I’m glad that you’re back on the path you’re meant to be. Good luck in all you do, and feel free to ask us questions. That’s how you learn - from one another and on your own. :slight_smile:

Take care.

1 Like

Thanx. I’m very real, & you won’t see me lying or making shit up. People often don’t like me because I’m too real, & don’t let them hide behind their fake masks. Some people appreciate it, but most don’t. And if they’re bad people, I don’t let them hide. Whatever. Love me or hate me cuz I’m not changing for anyone. lol

2 Likes

That’s the way to be. :slight_smile:

1 Like