New Avatar Power - InnerGoddess journal

Right, I frequently recommend this system and I am terrible for sticking with it

So I’m starting an online journal and intend to actually follow everything and see where it leads me.

Today is day 1

Already know that for me the ritual given isn’t enough and use wim hof prior to get into a trance state


Ok so I guess this is my book of shadows in a way, I wanted to do this to force myself to stick with it and if anyone’s interested they can read

Environment: on my bed doing everything in the mind (just works for me better to stay in trance than physically moving)

Ritual: 15 mins Wim hof, NAP ritual, invite magick mentor, kaballistic cross, 5 gates/pillars fountain, change colour and magick name, chant and then I followed with a merkaba activation from Brian Scott that is nothing to do with nap

Experience: Meeting my mentor… so she’s an old woman I’ve seen before in dreams and randomly in mind. Maybe an ancestral spirit … apparently her name is Lilian. I wanted to call her Lily… not sure if I’m allowed. White/grey hair tied up in a bun and a long black dress. Guess she’s my spirit guide… pretty cool as I have wondered before but never really consciously made much contact. She stayed after I did the crossing so pretty safe.

Didn’t have much to say other than hi and she helped me still my mind when I asked for assistance from a thought that was interrupting

My chants/planetary colour were about love

Then it’s not NAP but I felt to do the merkaba activation meditation … it’s really long and I got lost tbh but hopefully my higher self caught it. In places it was very powerful and tangible. Couldn’t finish it but will repeat again. Seems worth it but will take some understanding

No astral travels annoyingly yet. Oh well… bedtime, will hope for a lucid dream

Just a random thought about synchronicity

So I feel most drawn to the shem angels, today learned that this kind of magick was given to a biblical figure I named my child after… and engraved on sapphire this magick which is my birthstone and a stone I was drawn to long before I had any real interest in this stuff

Just found it a neat little coincidence… and answer why I resonate so much with NAP

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Today’s ritual

Lots of tangible sensations with the middle pillar ritual

Asked Lilian for help astral travelling and raising kundalini fully… she’s a funny character, we communicated telepathically and she said it’ll happen soon. She honestly reminds me of a grandmother… very straight laced and not to be messed with.

Again love chants although I feel bored by the target currently and realised I’m not really seeking a romantic love from them just a peaceful reconciliation. Wondered about the ethics of creating it that they love me then decided to stop thinking and just use it as an excercise in proof this stuff is at my fingertips, once they stop bothering me I think I’ll try creating a partnership for them that helps them move on from me and just leaves a fondness friendship wise.

My heart says I’m not fussed by them and my attention is elsewhere already being able to picture in my mind the type of partner I actually want

No projecting as my physical body suddenly decided it had other needs and had to come back fast from the trance but will try another merkaba activation tonight

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Day 3 (yesterday)

Repeated the same

Lilian seems non plussed again

The middle pillar ritual is soooo tangible

Very hard to focus on the target in my love chant. Why am I bothering? I know in my heart I just don’t feel it anymore… considering changing the target :dart: haven’t seen any progress but didn’t really expect to anyway yet.

Again pondering on the ethics of love magick… asked Lilian: answer was that if everyone is you pushed out, your only creating it in your own reality and if they want to be with someone else they have other realities available for that.

Crushing hard elsewhere

Felt something on my elbow physically when trying to project but didn’t get out of my body

Strange dream after, kind of lucid in that I knew I was dreaming but I didn’t manage to affect anything in it yet… the dream was being pregnant only I felt little movement compared to being pregnant with my son. In the hospital and labour wouldn’t start… wasn’t sure if I had my dates wrong, a doctor said the baby’s head was too small and sent me home. The baby wasn’t born in the dream and I wasn’t sure if the baby was okay… woke up as I picked up a knife and fork ???

Dream interpretation: I’m not too sure and confident I’ve paid enough attention to give birth to a dream/desire? …, yeah that would fit

Didn’t try using my pendulum but had an inbox from someone asking me to, declined as no I’m not confident I’d give an accurate answer but reminded me that is part of NAP and should incorporate it somewhere into practice

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Oh forgot… second time I did the merkaba activation… BLISS

Very hard to explain it but bliss

Day 4

Was doing wim hof and in enough of a trance I decided to skip the intro chant and just go with i state my purpose thus bla bla and call on Arzel

Seemed to work fine. Lilian I could swear thought something like oh god not you again :joy: I haven’t really figured this out… I guess she’s my spirit guide for now but what’s her point? Need to go back to the book or maybe figure out prior some things to ask her about. Anyways she’s staying and has appeared (in mind) repeatedly enough now

Middle pillar … ugh it’s just my favourite thing, still buzzing

Love chant but changed the target… yeah I just can’t be bothered with doing magick on the previous one, maybe something effortless but NAP? Heck I want a target who won’t just fall in love with me but sets my soul alight and inspires me… wondering if I should just not name anyone and let my higher self just guide someone who fits into my life for me.

No astral projecting yet. Felt close during wim hof but not yet

Skipped it yesterday… was doing chakra tuning and got vibrations but missed it for projecting :roll_eyes:

Also trying Brian Scott deep sleep meditation- seemed great but my kid woke me up :joy:

Did NAP today

Didn’t really feel connected despite wim hof prior - fairly sure I was in a trance just didn’t feel that connected

Still enjoyed middle pillar - probably my favourite excercise atm. It’s so tangible! I feel the energy zipping through my body

Did love chants - definitely changed target :dart: wasn’t really thinking and the name came out so hopefully that’s a good sign despite not feeling connected particularly to the angels this time

Always feel like I need a wee when I finish which is annoying as I would have liked to go straight into the deep sleep meditation but oh well I’ve written my feelings down tonight and done it