So just a little back story for today I evoked Bune earlier today I cant see or comm. with entity’s yet at this point.
So I might ramble bit because I want to get down everything I remember I wrote it all down by hand but my writing is shit.
II went to lay down at around midnight to meditate and try to Astral project its now 1:58.
During this I got to a different state. everythimg around me was foggy in my vision I was in my bed and couilnt get uo It was a very similar feel and look to an experience I had a day or 2 ago bu in this one I sensed fear from myself.
from what I remember the walls were fuzzy and my curtains (which I realize is what they were now were changing form into different things?) I forgot exactly what but thats how it started
Ihen looked to my right and see my black air purifier on a stand and it would transform into what appeared to be a woman without a head wearing a nice expensive blue peat coat. this would maintain its for for a few seconds at first then shift back to normal physical reality type of vision. This is when I thought I was in the ultimate TGS for the first time consciously. I couldn’t really move its hard to explain but I was like paralyzed just like when I had a similar experience a day or two ago I could hardly move.
Anyway I was just amazed at first and was able to finally sit up against the wall ion my bed after a ton of effort. I thought of trying to do an evocation of some sort because of the state I was In so I could finally see the entities.Before this part When I saw the blue peat coat lady I thought it was Bune and tried to communicate but nothing happened.
So while Im sitting up looking around my room my vision becomes a little clearer in this world im in and like I said I was thinking of doing an evocation and then kind of suddenly there were 3 small ghost.like entities with pretty clear detail around me. 1 at the far end of the room in front of my bed and 2 to my left about 12 feet away. they appeared to be kind of small at first maybe 3ft by 3ft IDK.
so I examine them for a couple seconds and then I realize I recognize the first one on my left ( It’s image fads ffrom my memory as I type this) He was the scariest/Freakiest looking one from what I remember and then I believe either just him or him and the other one on my left started o come towards me what seemed to be very slowly. this is when I started to panic a bit bc I couldn’t really move (not a good feeling) and fear started to set in a bit.
I tried looking within my self and gathering light energy to banish them away weith my arm outstretched… nothing happened. they were closer. I got more freaked out and then as a last resort did a type of energy collecting/banishing method I’ve been practicing recently where I envision pure white light coming in through my head and exploding out my solarplex as well as my whole body in all directions around me.
I closed my eyes when I did this in this state like I usually would on the physical plane Everything went white for a split second and I came to on my bed . I was either yelling get away from me or it was in my head loudly as I came to. \
forgot to add when I initially stuck out my hand to banish them and failed I felt a pain on my whole left arm during the experience… when I came to My arm was Ice cold and my shoulder is still a little sore but the pains leaving and my arm is still a little cold. Its been about 40mins at least since all this happened.
My room has ac and my air purifier was aimed at my feet not my arms and ac isnt blasting on my body at all.
My big question is what the fuck happened? I just got into the evocation magic stuff about a month ago but Ive always sensed entities hanging around me so to speak. one of the biggest questions I have is What state am I really in and why am i pretty much paralyzed?
Am I Astral projecting AM I in TGS? Why could I communicate the first time I had this type of memorable experience a day or two ago but this time I couldnt?
Why couldn’t I fight them off? am I too weak at this point bc I just started or is it something else?
I know its not just a dream bc my dreams are much different this was totally different and in the beginning of all this happening it seemed like I could go back and forth between seeing physical reality and whatever state I was in then I was locked into that state of mind.
I might also mention before I laid down I was dozing off in my chair and meditating a little I believe… I dont really remember but what I do remember is that I actually saw the computer screen that I was previously working on through my closed eyes completely which has never happened to me before.
Just to add Ive been meditating regularly for months now and practicing evocation for 1.5 to 2 months now. I have nowhere else to turn for real answers or people with experience other than here . I know obviously I could ask the entities themselves but I havent got the communication down yet…
One last thing I want to add is a couple days ago I was doing a meditation and tried a solar banishing and grounding technique I found on here (I believe thats what its called) Because I was getting very tired when I shouldn’t have been so I thought something may have been draining me. When I started the meditation I was very tired and then when I finished I swear I heard an angry voice say I want more!!! I shit you not it was weird but I kind of tried not to think about it and I had my energy back I wasnt extremely fatigued like I was when I started the meditation/banishing.
So please need some help and answers,
The not knowing whats going on is driving me crazy and not knowing what I can do to improve my situations as well.
I know more happened but Im new to this and my memories fade fast.
If I dont write them sown on a piece of paper when I first come to I lose the whole experience within minutes.
Im tring to improve my life in everyway possible through magic and other means. I could use some real help here.