A brief timeline of events that happen across days:
When I was ten I saw a fully visible, direct in front of for as long as I looked at it small horned small person lounging, and giving off the distinct impression that it was simply hanging out, in between two logs that were smoldering as my father and I were burning an area clear. The actual flames weren’t anywhere near large enough to give the illusion. It was like a bunch of fire in the clean, precise form of the above.
Years before any of this: for some reason draw a symbol on my left hand before I go sleep. Wake up on sleep paralysis. Being with a raspy voice states “what is yours is not theirs, what is theirs is yours.” Cast is out in the name of God. It becomes irritated and states “you should not have done that.” Twice, empathising its displeasure on the second utterance. When I awoke I saw a small silhouette made up of a bunch of red,blue,and green triangles each of which had a small orb of the same color in the center of each as the shapes lazily spun around them.
Years pass. Sleep paralysis frequent.
One dream that stands out is one where I’m on an old fashion cart. It’s being driven by a beautiful field in bright, bright sunlight. A man is the left of me driving it, looks to be about late twenties. He is looking at me. Serious, stern person. Silver/platinum long hair. Piercing eyes that are like a normal person’s but bright gold. Two black leather strips are on their arm, black leather torso armor/cuirass.
I have a lucid dream of being in a dirt filled, ancient building. Shattered jars set on pedestals. A white snake and a white snake with red markings on it crawl out of the room.
Years pass.
One night I wake up with this horribly loud scream in my ear.
Years pass.
Numerous dreams of floating while being drug around wherever I was living.
All of the following in a span of six or so months:
Prayed to archangel michael using catholic prayer. Hear a loud goat bleat from within my apartment, positioned in another room.
See a gold orb hanging two or three inches below the ceiling. It shoots up through it.
Start doing occult activities. Nothing beyond LBRP.
Figure that if something happened with that one symbol that drawing an archangels sigil on my hand may result in some sort of contact with them. Draw Sandalphon’s sigil on my hand. The words “Talk to Uriel” feel like they’re forced into my mind. Wash it off and go about my business.
Draw out sigil to Uriel. Know nothing about activating them, stare at it. Walls start flashing violet. Make no request or anything, address nothing as I don’t know what I had done.
Wrote some message out beneath it. Things I wanted to do, that whole chestnut. Left it out. I got the distinct impression someone walked through a wall, looked at it, and then walked out.
Laying in bed one day and it feels as though sunlight hits the right side of my face. Have words pop into my head. Feel like they’re hebrew for some reason. Google translate comes out to “I’m Uriel”.
Begin occasionally feeling a strong, STRONG almost physically there presence. Incredibly fierce and intense but doesn’t feel threatening. It didn’t evoke fear but it was something akin to being startled, maybe see would be the right word? I got in touch with someone that is into the occult. They stated the presence was “incredibly strong divine.”
Start meditating. I have no mind’s eye and have never had any sort of “visions.” These take place over about two weeks iirc.
I felt this zip of energy shoot down the front of my body and felt several places on me feel like they were spinning. My heart immediately started to race incredibly fast.
Saw a gold bull’s head appear in great detail. I’ve never had anything ever happen like this and I’m startled. The image of a gold bull’s head repeats, a two dimensional one this time.
One session I see a being made of pinpoints of blue,red, and green light appeared. It has a face with a sort of venetian eye mask, made of the same colors like it is physically part of them. Almost exactly like this https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/rjsAAOSwr05eL5GY/s-l640.jpg . It is sitting there what appears to be a few feet away, smiling. The rest of the area appears to be a deep blue and black. Kind of like the inside of a nebula.
One session I see a sea of muddy red and a part of a figure made of gold light in a sea of muddy red reaching its hand out and taking it back. I reach out my hand physically and make a hand shake motion and state aloud “I don’t know what you want.”
Wake up one day laying on my side and I am bouncing in the bed like I had plopped down from a few feet above it.
Have a horribly vivid lucid dream. I am in my bedroom, paralyzed, I state that I forgive mankind and myself and I become able to move. There is a parchment outline on the wall and the area pours blood in the shape of what looks like a contract. I state I reject the offer. I leave the room and I’m in a circular hallways surrounding a green courtyard. By the stone columns and the waist high stone wall they’re atop of there are beds with silk curtains in them. There are people asleep. Lots of them. A woman with platinum blonde hair in a black dress with red accents is walking through the courtyard. I had previously seen two twin girls side by side holding one another’s hand in the same style of dress in a dream when I was a child. In the dream I had as a child their eyes had blood red irises and they were smiling. The impression the girls gave me was completely cold. I felt like I was compelled and the words “my hearts(plural) belong to you” I spoke to them. The woman felt like possibly they were an adult of one of the girls. They didn’t notice me. A child appeared and said “come with me.” He lead me into a hall that connect to the courtyard to the right. He left up a flight of stairs to the left. I saw a woman who had been in my life previously. I spoke at her and a man with ABSOLUTELY murderous intent came and grabbed my throat. Years after this I ran into her. Her boyfriend looked exactly like the man that had grabbed my throat in the dream. Every time I was around him I could feel pure hate pouring off of him.
Another dream lead me to be in front of this black wall with this bronze frame around it. I asked it who it was and it said “father void.”
I began having words pop into my head one day and thought they were messages. Some are them are personal. The ones that deeply, deeply concerned me are the phrases “guard the door” and “sweet essence.”
I was laying in bed and cried out “jehova” mentally loud, like I was screaming. A being made of a pale green light, like it was coated in platinum, shot out of the darkness like it was storming towards something out of my vision. It was covered in a great cloak and had a modest crown pointed helm with a completely featureless mask. Another, impish is the best way I can describe it, being came from off in that direction and was inches from my face looking from the side of its eye at me with a nose that look like an inverted eagle’s beak.
Later on i was speaking with someone and mentioned that I was trying to work with Uriel. They stated that I needed to be careful because they were a “double agent.” The picture on the page he linked matched near exactly the being I saw above with the cloak and helm. Almost precisely. This Uriel is a wandering prince of air and, from what I gather, absolutely not good news. https://occult-world.com/uriel/ I didn’t take the warning seriously as the other person I’d been talking with stated I didn’t need to be concerned with anything.
One night I was laying in bed and a small grey circle appeared in my vision. Rollercoaster of a vision transpired in it. I thought it was my hga revealing itself. Off to the side in the dark I saw a being with muted facial features squatted down looking like it had a small piccolo in its left hand that it had held up like it was pausing from playing it.
I had a simple altar at this point. Burned four candles for the archangels every night and one for yahweh/god. Was praying one night and the same grey circle appeared in my vision with a black inverted cross appearing inside of it.
One night I burned an orange candle because it was associated with Michael. It came with a symbol of sagittarius on a string around it when I bought it. I tossed the string and metal icon. I woke up in sleep paralysis and saw my room and alter burning. The place where the orange candle was supposed to be was like looking through a window and there was a man sitting in a throne room with dingey orange light filling in from between the columns. They were in a black robe with their face not visible with a highly pointed hood. I didn’t feel threatened but I stated with the emotion you have when someone shows up uninvited that I didn’t want to talk to them.
Time passed.
I decided to try to patch things up with my mother and was shopping for a gift. I thought to myself “I let my benevolent guides guide me.” I walked around feeling like I was being guided through the store and stopped in front of two things she wound up having been wanting for a while. While I was at a gas station the little screen had a word of the day on it – I forget the actual word but the definition was soft whisper.
Time passed.
I heard something say my name clear as day in a clear voice in this sinister, beckoning whispering. I felt actual terror from this, meanwhile nothing else had elicited any sort of emotion. Banished it.
I was over at my mother’s house and began to see little strips of plant sticks move like they were alive. I began see glints of what I thought was a small person, maybe four foot tall, with wings. I had many years ago had a camera start acting weird and I had a photo of a figure exactly like that clear as day in the photo, indigo body with red wings and gold feathers. For some reason I started mocking them for being short. I do not know why I did this. Immediately after as I was driving home I started praying to Uriel and asking forgiveness and confessing to him of my faults as a person and lamenting how badly I wanted to be a better person.
I eventually tried the supreme banishing ritual of the pentagram. When I did it every time I completed a pentagram and did the sign of the enterer is felt like the pentagrams were physically vacuuming sick energy out of me.
More time passed.
Eventually started hearing repeating musical notes playing. This eventually gave way into hearing voices and schizophrenia. The voices claimed to be the usual suspects you’d expect of someone with this disease to have. They started off claiming to be Gabriel, Michael, Uriel, and Raphael. Eventually I started catching the voices contradicting themselves. They then “revealed themselves” to be beings I had never called upon – Lucifer, Baal, Belial, Astharoth, Lilith, Beelzebub, and Paimon. The voices personalities were as follows:
Lucifer was proud, flattering.
Baal was joking and imposing of whatever point he was trying to make.
Astharoth barely spoke but had a hoarse, forced whispering voice.
Lilith was sweet and eventually identified herself as a vibrating mass of energy that stayed at my groin and wouldn’t leave. I could physically pick the energy up and it had mass. It was unbelievably weird, even among everything else that was happening.
Paimon spoke with a hoarse old man’s voice similar to this Red Dragoon's Final Arch - YouTube and was extremely jovial and joking.
I began to see things with my eyes open at this point. There was a being made of solid purple in aristocratic garb and a featureless, smooth like those artist figurines you get when learning how to draw poses, head except for a mouth. It had a phallus in its hand and and was sucking on it. Out of everything that happened this is the thing I have the absolute least clue about.
Things happened and I wound up in a psych ward. The only things that stuck out at this point was a voice repeating “he is a marquis spirit” and two visions. One of them was two cobra headed people being wed and kissing. Another was men climbing a tower only to be thrown off by a traditional looking angel as they reached the top.
Eventually I started to wonder if I had actually become possessed by Uriel, the demon prince of air, and started thinking about the things that all of the voices had said. I would think “Uriel lied to me about X.” Unlike the other voices this voice never spoke except during these times I made these statements. Burning, hate filled rage in its voice. It spoke swearing vitriolic insults every.single.time. I thought “Uriel lied to me about X.” Then I remembered something I had forgotten: there was a distinct dream in which is had been chased by a being that looked like the Uriel from the demonic grimoire that fellow had linked, except its face was visible with burning yellow eyes and visible sharp teeth.
The medicine caused the voices to subside, eventually.
Time passed and the weird dreams continued.
One involved a leopard speaking to me. It identified itself as manitou, a word I had never heard. Which means guardian spirit or something along those lines. It had a regal, proud bearing to it. At one point it stated that hell was freedom and revelation, I thought something that was contrary in response to it, it said in an assertive voice “denied” and I snapped awake. There was a silver pendant with an elephant on it, as far as out of place symbols in the dream. Someone identified this being as Set/Seth.
In a dream I was spoken to by a being with the torso of a bearded man with the lower body of a snake. It implored me to “remember who you are.” I responded “stop wasting my time and tell me what you want, typhon.” At best I had only ever heard the name Typhon and have never looked into any information on them, ever.
Another dream I was in an old bath house. A bearded man spoke to another person. I addressed them, they grew to the size of a giant and took on the form of Poseidon. I remember not understanding the rage of this being/person and saw visions of a person falling through the sky. Then two dragons battling each other and tearing one another apart. Come to think of it, the first thing I remember. The absolute first memory I have is a dark wooded area, a cabin burning in the distance, something horrible roaring, an jumping through a rip in space and falling through the air from high above into a lake
In another dream I saw clearly a sigil floating in space with frilled edges. A voice claimed it was a marquis spirit after I prayed hard to Michael. Considering that and the fact I was driven mad to think I was something I was not I believe quite firmly that Ose had a part in all of this. I’d never seen his seal, nor known about him as a leopard, or known about his penchant for driving people mad.
Another involved me calling to Azazel, something I would never do while awake, and was responded to by a powerful and apathetic voice “His name is Dolek.” Looking this up Dolek do-LEK (דּוֹלֵק) is a word which originally meant “on fire”,. Alight ablaze on fire. Uriel means fire/light of god.
Another dream I was compelled against my will to call lilith. The next night I saw a full body apparition of a woman in a white dress and long black hair.
Another dream I woke up to see a gold crow sitting in the chair in front of me that appeared like it was made of pieces of scrap metal. I prayed to the archangels to banish it.
Another dream I snapped out of a malaise and realized I was somewhere I didn’t want to be. I drew a banishing pentagram of earth and then, once more something I’d never do, drew an inverted banishing pentagram of fire. I vibrated Camiel and a vibrating roaring light descended upon me and rested on my head and shoulders. The other people in the dream turned hostile and I was lead to walk down a hallway into ever increasing darkness a flashlight appeared in my hand which is something that has never appeared in my dreams.
I’m honestly at a loss for everything that has happened and could use whatever help and advice can be offered. Thank you so much to anyone that takes the time to read this.