Need advice/help/insight

so as most of you know about my offering to lord dantalion right if not here…(recap) im supposed to write a short story for him but then its no logr a short story its going to be the first of many in a novel series ive been getting dreams msn from some of my compatriots about me writing one for them to even master furfur directly told me he want one of my special stories so i need help with the first one cause idk how the infernal realm looks so im going to post up two chapters for you guys…
(here we go)in my mario voice.

The unwanted visitor

Chapter two,

I yawned as I sat up from my bed and stretch. I looked at my clock which was strangely blinking 12;00 am on and off. I sighed and rubbed the temple of my head.

“That was a strange dream…” I mumbled.

Then I looked over at my painting, something seemed off about it. I got up as I clapped the lights on and walk over to it to look it over, and what i saw was like something straight out of a horror movie…… the man from my painting……wasn’t there.

I touch where he was supposed to be dumbfounded.

“I told you this is no dream….” a familiar voice spoke sternly behind me.

I jumped as I turned around to see a man sitting in the chair in the corner of my room. I quickly grabbed whatever I could in a panic and pointed it at him threateningly

“And what exactly are you going to do with that?” he asked with his chin set on his fist in an amused voice.

I looked at what I grabbed and sighed……I picked up the damn paint brush, like what is that going to do.

“No look……I don’t know who you are or where you came from but you need to leave……” I yelled.

“Leave? You want me to leave? After you called me here? I don’t think you know what you have gotten yourself into my Princess.” he said to me sounding somewhat offended.

“You-your princess I think your delusional you-”

He pulled out my art journal and showed it to me.

“First you draw my sigil seal, then you draw me telling me how u wish I was real, then draw me in a portrait and call on me, and when i step out of the portal you threaten me with a paint brush and tell me to leave.” he said sternly.

I looked at the picture of the man i drew of him earlier, studying it. He was an exact copy of my drawing, the real live version of it. I looked joltedly down at the paint brush i had in my hand, then turned around and frantically examined my paints. Everything just looked ordinary.

The i looked back at him still pointing my useless paint brush at him. I slowly walked towards him.

“Don’t you dare move a muscle or do anything stupid……or touch me.” i told him once i got closer, he just smirked in response.

I touched him and jump back in response.

“I’m not a ghost if that’s what you’re wondering. I am as real as can be my darling Isabella.” he said as his tall figure stood up from the chair.

“How do you-”

“I know many things.” he said cutting me off as he took two steps towards me.

“I know everything about you.” he says softly as he closed the gap between us.

“Are you….stalking me?” it didn’t come out like i wanted, i trembled in his presents but i was glued to that spot i couldn’t get away even if i wanted to.

“No….you are mine….my destiny……I’ve waited years for this day this moment…this.” he plucked the paint brush out of my hand and caressed my cheek. I leaned into his hand closing my eyes, forgetting he was a complete stranger to me for that moment, even though he seemed so familiar. I opened my eyes to see his soft pair looking down on me in delight.

Then i remembered he was an intruder and pushed his hand away from me moving back away from him as fast as possible.

A flash of hurt ran through his eyes quickly.

“N-no….i-i don’t know what game your playing at but, you won’t fool me.” i said as i grabbed my pants that had my car keys in them and ran as fast as i coud down the stairs and out the house into my car.

I stubbled trying to to put the key in the ignition. I heard him yell something as he stepped out of the house, i put the key in and drove away as fast as i could.

A few minutes had passed, with a sudden realization……that was my damn house why did i leave….i mentally facepalmed myself for my stupidity.

I decided to go get my brother since i knew he would be able to help me.

Once i got to jerry’s palace as he calls it i dug in my back seat and grabbed my duffle bag of emergency clothing and got dressed in something better than my pj. I had put on my black bad girl halter top and black leggings to match and my black and white phat farm sneakers.

I got out my car and went to go find my brother. When i got inside, the place was insanely packed with people.

I sighed and struggled through the crowd looking for him. A few minutes of strobe lights flashing and people dancing around me, i had finally made it through the crowd.

I tracked quickly into the kitchen to see him there talking with a group of people and a very drunk looking Sarah hanging off of him.

I started walking up to him only to get stopped by some random drunk guy.

“Hey sexy….w-where yous been all my night? Come party with me.” he said .

“No thank you.” i replied trying to push passed him.

“Hey!..I said….PAR_TY with ME……n that’s what you gonna do……les go.” he said angrily as he roughly grabbed me by the arm dragging me practically up the stairs.

“Let me go.” i shouted as loud as i could then he yanked me close to him and picked me up over his shoulder holding me tighter then he was before.

“Shut the fuck up….las go. Stop kicking me or i’ll make you regret that.” he lamly threatens me. I was already regretting this.

Then he walked into a room and shut the door behind him, tossing me on the bed.

“No please……” before i could say anything else he grabbed me by my throat and pushed me down and climbed on top of me.

“I said shut the fuck up……you will enjoy this….i’m definitely going to.” he laugh menacingly.

I struggled against him but his grip only got tighter as i felt him trying to take my pants off and kissing me sloppy on my cheeks and lips. Tears started streaming down my face i scratched at his hand trying to get him to let me go……couldnt breath….he was crushing my wind pipes slowly.

Then he suddenly let me go and a crash was heard i coughed, trying to catch my breath and slowly sat up on the bed….that’s when i saw him….beating the crap out of the guy who was trying to rape and kill me.

“Dan-Dantalion…no……you’ll kill him…”i tried to call out to him as loud as i could.

He had stopped and turned toward me. Then he looked back at the guy who was probably unconscious.

“You ever touch her again…I’ll make sure you’ll suffer a fate worse the death.” he told him punching him one more time then strided over to me quickly.

“Are you ok? He hurt you……I wanted-why did you stop-i need to get you home.” he said with his many incomplete questions.

He refusing to let me walk, picked he up and carried me back downstairs where this time my brother saw me and ran up to us stopping him on our path.

“Who the fuck are you and what did you do to my sister.” he asked angrily looking.

“Watch your damn tone.….I haven’t done anything… I was the one who just saved her while you’re down here drinking and having a good time she was getting violated-she could have been killed.” he yelled at him then stormed out as my brother followed silently behind us with Sarah.

“I’ll drive you just-just rest……please……” he pleaded. All i could do was nod my head before everything went black.

The portal to the Underworld

Chapter three,

The sun hit my face as I yawned, opening my eyes slightly, i started to feel a heavy weight on me as i shifted my position.

“Your up?” asked a familiar voice.

I looked up to see him again but this time……


“Before you say anything……you asked me to stay and hold you…” was all he said before he shifted his position with me in his arms.

“I did wha-”

Then it hit me, everything that happen from the party last night……that guy….what he did…this strange MAN WHO DESTROYED MY PAINTING WHEN HE CAME OUT OF IT! I took a deep breath before looking up at him.

“Thank you….” I said quietly.

“It’s nothing….What’s wrong?” he asked raising an eyebrow at me.

“You destroyed it……”

“Destroyed what?” he asked.

“My painting……you should get back in there….and fix it.” i told him darkly.

It was silent for a moment then he burst out laughing.

“I mean it….” i tell him seriously.

“Can’t be done…” he replies.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes it can not be done but, i can do something to fix….it for a price…” he tells me.

“A price?”

“Yes…” he replies.

“You go somewhere with me and i’ll pose for you personally so you can remake it.” he adds.

“How about we do the fixing first then you can take me wherever your content on going.” i told him he nodded in agreement as i yawned and started to fall back asleep.

“Rest…you will need it where i’m taking you……” was all he said as i fell back into a deep sleep.

I woke up a few hours later, i sat up on my bed and looked around. He was gone, had i dreamt the whole thing i thought as i traced back to my painting. I was just the room full of books, a fireplace and an empty chair with a book on the floor of it. I gawked at it for some time dumbfounded at the thought of someone stepping out of it. So i picked up my paint brush in an attempt to finish the painting.

“I wouldn’t do that if i were you……” whispered a familiar voice in my ear making me jump.

I turned round to see him again with a plate of food in his hand and an amused look on his face.

“Soooo…… Your still here…?” i mumbled.

“Yes, i told you i wasn’t going anywhere…” he replied.

“I see…i don’t remember you say such things……is that for me?” i asked changing the subject.

“I thought you might be hungry when you woke up so-”

“I helped him cook you breakfast…” my brother said as he walked in.

“He didn’t know what to cook you so i stepped in and show him your favorite foods.” he smiled.

I put my paint brush down and took the plate from him.

“Thank you…”

“I’ll be waiting out on the tarras for you when you are finished my Isabella.” he informs me then leaves out the room.

I sat down and started eating in silence as my brother watched me.

“What….? “ i finally ask looking up at him with the delicious tasting bacon half out of my mouth.

“You eat like a pig you know that?” he laughs.

I roll my eyes at him and continue to eat. I never had food that tasted this good in my life before, so i was definitely not about to let it go to waste no matter who made it.

“Anyway your boyfriend seems pretty cool but,… He is treating you alright though right?” he asked as i swallowed what i had in my mouth.

“He isn’t my boyfriend……he’s just some random guy that stepped out of my painting.” i retorted.

He looked at me for some time with a funny look of disbelief on his face then he started laughing like a crackling hyena.

“Your too funny i thought you were serious for a moment.” he laughed.

“Its true……stop laughing.” i yelled.

“Yeah right….” he laughed as he walked out of the room.

I followed after him but sighed as i heard him closed the door to his room, hearing Sarah’s voice immediately after.

I decided to walk down stairs and went into the kitchen. Thinking that he didn’t clean up after cooking i made up my mind to clean what needed to be clean but to my surprise, the whole kitchen was spotless. I smiled to myself.

Sexy, great cook, and he cleans……i just might let him stay…. I thought to myself as i washed my dish and put it away.

Then i walked out to the back porch where he said he’d be and silently watched him setting up a new canvas and paints for me. He moved a chair i’d never seen before into the position he wanted it and sat down and grabbed a book and opened it.

“Whenever you want to stop standing there watching me, you can start painting. Take your time.” he smirked. I scoffed at him.

“Like hell i was watching you….” i said flusteredly.

“Oh…so why are you blushing if you weren’t?”he asked with his eyebrow now raised, and a mischievous glint in his eye.

“N-no reason ok……can we just get this done now?” i huffed.

He just chuckled and turned the page in the book as he flicked his hand at me signalling me to proceed then rested his cheek on it.

I shook my head and walked over to the canvas and picked up the paint brush and started to paint.

I moved the brush in different zigzags, making the lines that wre needed. Then i dipped a new brush in reds and blacks to capture the color of what he wore, it was a rd button up and a black vest and black pants and black dress shoes.

Then continued to paint everything i imagen was around him. His elegant figure pose posture, his beautiful hair, and beautiful colored vivid green eyes. A small smile rested on his face as if he was content and carefree at that moment. The look he gave was soft and gentle like he was at peace.

Looking back on the painting from last night, his face wore sorrow melancholy expression when i had first painted him but, today……he seems….content and….happier even. I wonder what had made him change.

Two hours had passed and i was complete with my painting.

“Done…… Another one of you isn’t going to pop out is it?” i asked as he laughed gently.

“As funny as that would be…no there is only one of me.” he said as he put the book down and walked over to see it.

“You are very talented. It’s a perfect copy of me.” he complimented me. I blushed as i looked up him as he stared at the painting. The look of shock on his face as he stared at it was unnerving. It was like he noticed something i didn’t.

“What’s wrong?” i asked him looking at the painting.

I noticed i had drew what he called his sigil in the corner of it and the name Dantalion right next to it.

“I must have banked out when i did that….any way hey……i never asked you your name?” i smiled.

“You wrote it.” was all he said as he gazed into my eyes.

“Really? It was just a name i gave the painting.” i tell him .

“That is my true name you called me last night…” he said as he grabbed my hands.

“Can you say it….say it again?” he asked lowly.

The look of longing and expectancy in his eyes made me nervous but i obliged to his request.

“…D-Dantalion……” then a quick brush of wind flew passed me as i stared into his eyes.

“ Come….I want to show you something…” was all he said before moving quickly gently pulling me along with him.

We walked up the stairs as i swear i felt like a draft was following us. We walked into my room and he shut the door behind him. Then he walked up the my canvas.

“Come here….give me your hand.” he said as he reached out to me

I reluctantly did as he asked of me and once i did , when i saw what i saw i wish i hadn’t. Standing there in the picture stood a young girl, arms folded glaring back at us with a scowl written on her beautiful face.

“Remember our deal? Time to go.” was all he said to me as i stood there frozen looking back at the young girl, while he moved our hands towards the old painting. Then walked us into what looked like a swirling vortex.


:rofl: omg I couldn’t stop laughing! You are talented! :drooling_face: I wish they just pop out of their sigils and just pose for me to draw them! That’s a dream! :joy: in my story he will be angry I called him and running the other way while I run after him like a creepy paparazzi with a tablet!
I have better things to do than pose for you all day

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well i did make him destroy the painting n i can totally se him saying that lol i wanted to finish a few more chapters before reading it to him again h liked the first chapter even tho he said he couldnt wait til it gets more interesting im like really n he just laugh h only know the first chapter

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this is the cover for it


Sweet! Good luck! I am yet to work with him so I don’t know anything about him yet. I wish I had a drawing for you! Or some insight…

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i cant wait til you he is funny n a cheesy flirt lol its ok im on the fouth chapter trying to describe how hell looks with no clue myself it just one of those things blind description n i dont really want to go off my own imagination

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:thinking: maybe ask him to show you around? I think he can give you a dream atleast if you can’t astral or get visions.

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i cant get into third person just yet ill as if you guys have no clue either or is it diffrent for every one wat the see

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Idk am still figuring things out. When I ask them to explain something or show up the only way I can get it so far is when they visit my dreams or pull me into the astral! Recently I got some telepathic pictures but I didn’t understand it :rofl:

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i see i can hear them he pops up out the blue some times in the most innapproprate time i should say lol

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:thinking: do you hear an audible voice or it’s all thoughts?

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telepathy n some times images a bit of both thats y i say i feel crazy some times i kno its not my voice in they speak in huge words i wouldnt dare try to repeat if i us the candles instead then the voices stops

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:rofl: I know the feeling

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is that the final cover? just an opinion towards the wording, they could be better :slight_smile:


it isnt its my watt pad cover it will be different once its published


thats great then.
btw bunny is it possible for you to PM me? i would have done it myself but i don’t have that option yet.

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i just msn you

Cant wait for next chapter and tell me what he thinks of these two chapters

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i will im sure he will like it master furfurs book will be next to write i have an idea but havent started yet

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Ps you are very talented

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