Narcissism and the Ego Self

Well it took me months to transmute the energies from both experiences. I think I was given an express crash course in that I was put in these situations back to back. Luckily I had my meditation practices down pat so transmuting the energies took me only several months, which may seem long but if you read internet forums there are people who are years away from their discards and still hung up on their exes.

I can’t go into details otherwise it’ll be a monster of a post but the first step is accepting the pain and giving it full permission to course through your veins. Just trust the process and soon you will get insights into manipulation, self esteem, how to tell a person’s emotional state just by being near to them and looking at their faces, and even how to absorb other people’s energies like a vampire and make them addicted to you, and how to turn empathy on/off at will.

These are all things that narcs/borderlines do unconsciously, or maybe some of them are conscious of it and don’t care. Some here would call these aspects of vampirism and they won’t be wrong.

Once you have transmuted the energies and acquired the abilities, I suggest you use them carefully and wisely. I don’t believe in karma in the traditional sense, but I’ve found through experience that it’s much easier to manifest a joyful life when there are more people blessing you with their good intentions than there are people cursing you with ill will.

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It’s so much like magic anyway isn’t it? How you can be drawn to these people so intensely, and seemingly for no real reason, I don’t really understand it.

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@Encore19 magick of alchemy to transmute yeah

It is because they have something we want for ourselves but can’t built alone. At least in my case

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True. I believe it was my heavily depleted solar plexis chakra. And I am quite sure it was because of past life events. Something had caused my soul to feel shame to such a degree that I was born with that imbalance. People in my soul family that I’ve attracted have had ego and been self-centred.

I have fixed the problem and improved but in my case there are other issues as to why my feelings are strong in my situation. Being in the same soul family, craving a soul mate love, my delusions, my stubbornness, my loneliness and being deceived are some of the reasons.

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Many are in the same boat as you.
I also learned to be narcissistic and studied mental manipulation, mind game tactics and the art of persuasion after my last relationship. hell, I even learned how to hypnotise my victims. I do not think someone like him can ever happen to me again.
I became a predator

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@ysy Me too… and the most satisfying part… I don’t have to go after someone innocent or someone else. I never technically ‘dated’ him, he just knows I really liked him once. And now people are confirming that he’s crying over me and about to make a move soon. So nice try, Universe. You wanted an Empath-Narcissist situation? Well you’ve got one and I won’t be the passive participant :smiling_imp:

I have complete control, and not even cause he willingly gave it to me. I implanted all my unconditional loving and sexual feelings into him.

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I have found an amazing and enlightening page that could partially describe my personality. It’s called Inverted Narcissism. It doesn’t completely describe me, I have some pure Narcissism traits too, but the codependency and the inverted narcissism really explains my urges and love style.

The information on this page blew me away: The Inverted Narcissist | HealthyPlace

Rereading this has all just been amazing. @krass your stuff here is amazing.

o.o In terms of Scorpio, my Venus (chart ruler), Jupiter and Pluto is in Scorpio. I was born the day before being a Scorpio and am technically a Libra. I don’t think you’re wrong. I was going to be the perfect and tortuous victim. But in response to everything I have begun to sadistically curse people. I suppose my personality and natal chart composition is rather complex…

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Hey man I dont even remember writing all this ahhaha I’m glad it helped though. I read the article you linked to and it’s great and all but I think it just complicates thing unnecessarily. Just keep it simple by feeling whatever dark energies are coursing through your veins and observe, allow, make peace. That’s all you really need to do in these cases. With time you’ll heal and get 10x stronger it’s unbelievable.

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While I don’t follow the zodiac stuff, I also found ego to be a good thing, the idea of destroying/removing the ego is stupid to me (no offense to anyone) and in most cases it’s a follow the leader mentality “S/he wants to remove his/her ego I should too” but then again I also find the left hand path, atleast the part where half of it is “we are darkness we fight light hurhur” to be a bit of a diverge from the actuality once edgy people got a hold of it.

To me to embrace the ego is to embrace your own divine nature, to reject the ego is to follow the leader or “fall in line” basically to lack a divine nature of your own or reject the divine nature you may have.

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The article doesn’t complicate anything general, it’s about a specific mental disorder.

Not all of it applies to me, but reading parts of it made me go like “wow”. I’ve always been super doting, affectionate and caring in romantic relationships, even when I didn’t love the other person, and I don’t know how much of this is chance but I’ve never cried over a break-up even though I was the one dumped. I mean, I’ve had a love-at-first-sight experience and a heart-crack when I was a teenager, though never a heart-break.

But the idea of acting as a codependent to a narcissist, a submissive in a sense, I thought it was just a fetish but parts of that article resonate so much it has me thinking I may have developed some extension of this mental disorder.

I’ve not had a traumatising upbringing. Buuuut… there was some unusual peer behaviour when I was young, there is a genetic link to mental illness on both sides of my family, I was sharply depressed as a young teenager, and then later despairing about how hard it was to date as a gay teen/man in my area. And just personality stuff, a tad bit of OCD, things to think about that don’t make me completely normal. Aside from my spiritual experiences.

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Ok man if it works for you then good just stick with it. I just feel that it’s too complicated from my own perspective. I look at these things from an energetic perspective instead of an intellectual perspective so my conclusions are simpler when viewed from the intellect, but to me at least the energetic perspective is more profound in its simplicity.

In the end it’s just two entities exchanging energy and the dynamics thereof. All the best to you though you seem to be progressing really well.

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