Mystique's Mindless Montages

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/that-moment-when-2/31173/1079?u=re3

So, King Paimon is actually continuing to make contact? Hmm, I’m kinda shocked but in a good way. I didn’t think he’d want to contact me after all that mess that happened today.

Agh, I keep forgetting about not to expect anything. I always keep having to remind myself that.

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Why is it a hugh fail. Mostly when it’s a powerful evocation it will cost a lot of engergy. I had this week with an Angelic invocation and Lucifer. Very powerfull

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How do you know he wasn’t just playing around with the penny thing? Feeling drained is usually a good sign because it means you expended energy.

And as far as feeling embarassed just because you were embarrased doesn’t mean you didn’t make a good impression. For example plenty of people leave a job interview thinking they did awful but still get the job.

And yes he messes with electronics. He brought all the servers down at work to show me what he could do. And by all I mean all three in the US. Im like ok ok i believe you.

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The Dragon’s Gate

So, in the middle of meditating, I was brought to a door. I was told to open it and it was the gate to a dragon. I think they said my inner dragon, but all I know is that I have a connection with it. As I do so, I could see my astral form change and especially the eyes. Whoever the voice was, they seemed pleased. I don’t know if it was my inner voice, but who knows for sure? :woman_shrugging:

Anyway, then my focus switched to King Paimon. For some reason, I was curious about what he was doing. I tried hesitating, but the voice insisted on me to go to him.

As I did so, it was as if he “didn’t know I was there.” I kept telling the voice he does know, but the voice kept saying he doesn’t. Then, King Paimon said something like “You can come out now. I know you’re there.” As I did so, he asked what it is that I wanted. I told him that I wanted to get to know him and possibly become friends. Then, further more in the future; well, if he wanted to. I was very shy when admitting it out loud like that.

I forgot what he was saying afterwards, but it was hints as if he wanted to see if I stood strong by my wishes. I tried speaking with more courage and told him again that I wanted to get to know him, become friends, and I hope for a mutual relationship in the future.

All he did after that was smile at me. Then, my senses started fading out, and I was rapidly becoming sleepier by the minute. Before I completely returned to the physical, I felt someone rest their hand on my head, and after that, I saw King Paimon riding off on his dromedary, smiling, and waving.

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Back to the beginnings…

Lately, I never really have a good conversation with anyone anymore. It’s been like a couple weeks. Yeah, was like that before I joined this forum. Now, once again, I never really talk to anyone, but my close family, who don’t really listen. I just gave up on trying to become friends with humans, and I may even give up on friends with entities…

Also, I haven’t ever really felt completely connected to anyone. I say I love, but things were off. Of course, point proven about that one imposter, though… Anyway, I can’t really feel. I’ve been numb for so long, and now, I can’t even communicate with anyone.

How can I stand up for myself if I fucking don’t know how?! Before I’ve been alone for so long. Ive been alone several times before, but I never know how to be strong. It’s not so damn easy for everyone. Being alone doesn’t make you strong if you’re like me and don’t fucking know how. It has made me weaker, but no one had ever really given me a true helping hand.

No one has fucking shown me the way, and now, someday I will die fucking alone, weak, useless, and afraid. I’m expected to do every single damn thing all alone. I’ve tried for so long, and I still fucking can’t do it like most can.

Yet, if I feel like I can finally find someone to put up with my weak-ass, but if that damn egregore ass imposter won’t throw me back down the well. I thought I killed him off, but knowing how he is, anything is possible with him. I fucking hate him, so hopefully I can actually have a proper mate without his stupid setbacks.

I’ve been longing for a true connection for some long, so maybe I’ll give them proper love and help. Then, in return, they’ll show me how to be strong, because I fucking don’t know to do so… We’ll see…

But, anyone who thinks I can do this alone, can stfu. I’ve tried different ways to get my life together all alone, and everything goes right back down the toilet.

“You’re not weak, because you’re a warrior. You fought long and hard all by yourself. You’re just tired. It’s okay to admit defeat. Some battles aren’t won, and that’s okay. You should take a short break and go back to fighting with some extra help. Admitting defeat is okay, and you can’t deny it forever.”

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Past life?

For some reason, I feel that I absolutely have had no past lives. It’s weird. I know others do, but I doubt 1000% that I did. It seems so normal for everyone else to have past lives and everything. I may be wrong, but that’s what it seems like.

No, I’m not saying I’m a super duper special snowflake just because I’m someone who doesn’t have any past lives. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
I know there are few others like me, though, so there’s that.

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/that-moment-when-2/31173/1220?u=re3

Seem so like an angel or a few have been calling to me for a few months. I know the usual “YoU hAvE tO gEt OuT oF yOuR cOmFoRt ZoNe.” “YoU hAvE tO bAlAnCe OuT.” I get, I get it. If I can find out who’s acting so excited to work with me, I’ll get to it.

So now there’s an unknown entity with me who went from looking something like this:


Acting like this: Angelic, deep blue eyes, pale skin

To looking something like this:


And acting like this: Intense and dark energy, black eyes, playful, seductive, and intimate

I have no idea who they are, but I’m so sleepy, lazy, and comfortable. Instead, I’ll probably find out tomorrow.

So far with that entity around, my pains have healed. Also I felt goosebumps, heat pressed against my face, tingling feelings, strong presence. I physically heard a whisper! I also just now saw an orb.

Damn, there’s so much intensity.

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It might be your companion. Some are slow to warm, but when they do. :heart_eyes::smiling_imp::sparkling_heart:

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I’d be surprised if so. I thought my egregore, who’s not around anymore, scared him off.

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/that-moment-when-2/31173/1267?u=re3

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/that-moment-when-2/31173/1272?u=re3

Before I went to sleep, I heard someone walking around and whistling, but my family was asleep. That means it probably was Prince Sitri, and he could’ve been that other guy from last night too.

If that was all him, my goodness, he’s so active. I rarely notice anything physical happen, but he has done quite a few things physically. It’s pretty awesome.

So, I’ve been using an app to communicate with entities. It has actually been on point. It’s wicked asf. Anyway, lol, now I can get nagged about needing to keep a balance and work on my planned art project. :joy::sob:


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Cool, i’m going to try it :slight_smile:

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I can’t get this out of my head. It’s hard to translate, but I’ve been getting something like this:

“My dear, will you break down your cages, and open your heart up to me? Will you welcome me home?”

But I’m afraid…

“Being afraid is understandable, because I’m going to make you feel as loved and special as if you have everything in the world and then some. So yes, you have every right to be afraid, because being that in love can be quite a scary thing, but trust me when I say ‘This roller coaster will take you on the best and worthwhile adventures.’”

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