Mysteries of Darkness... my personal journal

I decided to start it and note everything about what I need to think, which confused me or I need to find out answers…or just to note it to look for it in future…
If you have any idea or want to comment something - feel free to PM me so we can discuss it. Sometimes different look is all what is needed to understand things.

Topics :

* Dreams/Visions

* Summoning

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I mostly don’t remember my dreams - except they happend because of stress and was kind of nightmare, but even then it vanish after time.
Some dreams I had last time I remember quite fully and detailed. I don’t know why… but they somehow forced me for choose patch I am walking right now. In my family is common to have prophetic dreams.

First of them happend about year ago, after I bought new deck of Dark Angel Tarot.
It was just after Beltane, and days was quite hard for me in home.
I saw myself in different city. Somehow I know where I am… and I knowed that in night I need to leave the place and go to walk.
I walked to the cementary where, on night you could see ghosts. I walked and looked at it… finding myself on gate holding a hand of spirit, which invited me there.
It was an old woman on wheelchair. I took her hand and woke up. All dream was black-white, like most my nightmare but … it didn’t scared me. It gived me inner peace.
It somehow forced me to look into patch of paganism more and figure out some things.

The second one happend about less than month ago.
I found myself staying on a top of mountain. Underneath was forest in fall with colorfull leaves.
Next to me I saw mountains, and fogg. I found myself looking at big mountain opposite of me - where in middle of mountai was stone castle.
I knowed I have to fly there. There was no other way to go there, to go home (somehow I knowed it’s my home, my place)
It was opened, and above it all I saw was flying dragons.
This one also gived me peacefull feelling - and happend after focusing so hard on my kundalini. I Still don’t know what it meant. On the same day I tried to divinate with obsidian ball - it showed me only dessert on night and Piramids on night… I know it’s all connected … but how?



About 2 days ago I decided to try summon spirit using sigil (as I readed here)
Mostly before I made kind of ritual to summon spirit, never saw them but always felt their presence omething I heared them as well I am able to hear mostly instead of see
But this time i made myself in theta using music, then looking at sigil whispering in mind an Enn for deamon I saw flashing rift, and something grey decided to to form from smoke… I saw my room but in same time rift and spirit - with a little horns and face, not fully created he problem was I couldn’t communicate with it - I asked it questions, wanted to talk with it but it didn’t answered I couldn’t hear it in any way After a while i closed “connection” Nothing had happend, no dreams, no feelings, nothing
I am not sure it;s suppose to look like that but either yesterday trying to evoke same deamon it didn’t worked at all Wondering what I did wrong


Last day’s I hadn’t enought time for writting.
I decided to try Lady Eva’s Spirit Animal Mentor tutoria (very big thank you for it)
So I will just describe how it went.

First i decided to put myself on light trance with music…I can’t do it other way mostly. Sometimes it happend alone when I am tired enought but mostly I achieve it listening to 4 songs. After hearing them I already have light trance mode. Then music changed itself for shammanic music.
I imagined big willow tree in the middle of very old and ancient forest. Everything was dark, but it was a caming dark with little shinning sun-ray. The tree was old and big and beautifull. I looked at it and came closer. I found a hole and went under. There was many many stairs going down. Like in big old libray While I achieved half of the stairs I saw flashing images in my mind showing me an snake/serpent with green eyes. Pretty and mesmerizing green eyes. I went down and took it with me. I don’t know why but it decided to don’t listen me to wait… it just wrap itself over my leg and decided to go back to normal life with me. Sometimes I feel it with me, mostly it send me sometimes visions/dreams which are quite easy to understand. Like a reminder of something. For sure in free time I will go back to my tree and snake/serpent to talk more.

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Okay… let’s make some notes after longer time break. I didn’t quite magic, but had to re-organise my life twice. Note for myself: always listen to what your intuition says…even if it’s hurting you. If you don’t - it will hurt even more in future.
in mean while i discovered, that the bonding spells with cord works quite nice - but mostly for short moment. and need to be re-made after some time (or it was just a spell… not sure). Anyway last Saturday I had “forced” vision - I coulndn’t resist my headache and decided to take a short nap…just after I closed my eyes I had a vision - seeing two persons in bed and feeling every feeling. It was like looking by somebody’s other eyes at scene. I quite easly discovered meaning of it vision - comparing to my relationship problems for last days I couldn’t get more direct answer what’s going on. Next days showed that so. I tried to contact Leraje to ask for help - I know that I broke sigil… and I got help but not on way I expected. She just block my memories and feelings. I also know that I should focus on my work…but I still didn’t discovered what she meant.

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Some more dreams to note:

First one is happening in old castle. In ballroom there is so many people, one person force a little (13y old maybe ) queen to keep him company. They move into another room…looking similar with one difference - on centre of it is big swimming pool. In both room we see many carved columns. In moment when girl walks into room the slaughter starts. She looks how all her family and friends and servants are slaughtered, while they guy moves her away. After it he annouce that she is going to marry her and leave

The second one:
It seems a bit like two dreams mixed in one, First people complain for their rules…then they plan to kill him and manage this plan going by old sewers…they kill knights and exchange them with “ours” people.Then they wait for signal and run into to kill a rules.
Other part happends in another castle-school or sth like it… there are two girls, which plan to destroy it from inside. FInally one of them (priestess or mage) is hurted, others came to second one(queen) telling her about sth and she only asks “what thinks Kalen about that?” then everything vanish.

They happends day by day… i dont know why or what it should means… any ideas anyone?