My thoughts on hate and my aversion to romantic love

many people in the past have called me out on my shaky behaviour so today after many long meditations on bettering myself i thought id explain why i’m just so hateful and don’t seem to love anyone but myself now to explain my hatefulness i first have to explain my aversion to romantic love i once had a very special person i cared for very much but started to see that the closer i got to this person the more we became one with each other but the love i had for her made me view this as a good thing eventually we shared dreams and could even know what the other was thinking and doing without being near each other or even awake for that matter i foresaw the relationship ending and once it did i became very depressed and got into a relationship out of sympathy for another person but i didn’t like this person and i didn’t want to get close to her so i ended the relationship but that person remained a reminder on how vile people can get i them started meditating and realized why i viewed love as a weapon of suffering rather than a solution to it the entire purpose of romantic love is to absorb people into the all and this was the revelation that led me on the path to selfish endulgeance and hateful vengeance against the assholes i spoke of in earlier posts and in this path my philosophy was forged from rage, anger, bloodlust, and the desire to survive hatred had become the only emotion that could lead to evolution and salvation from death and love had become the destructive force that jehova relied on for his tyranical rampage on this planet and through my hatefulness i had realized all the horrible things assholes did to destroy weaker people and other unfortunates simply for the sake of destruction and their own ego and this made me realize that for the human race to survive an ascend into afterlife every single asshole in this word and the next had to be eliminated and that’s when i realized that the purpose i had been looking for my entire life had been realized i had to destroy the existence of filthy asshole scumbags if anything was to ever ascend into afterlife without the risk of losing everything they ha gained my own family was ripped to shreds because of assholes and i had been victimized by asshole through much of my life assholes were and are the sole reason for all the bad things that happen to good people and this is why i’m so hateful because to be loving in a way that puts others before yourself is nothing more than suicide causing pain and warfare against tyrranical uncaring assholes is the only way to ascend and live forever after all there must be balance and nothing disrupt balance like assholes do and assholes never learn from there mistakes but what makes me believe so much that assholes must be punished is the fact that i was almost destroyed by assholes at a very vulnerable stage in my life and i was saved by something that destroyed scumbags since scumbags were a thing and had done some very bad things and being saved was my wake up call that i had to make up for all the terrible things i had done and that to be truly strong and survive as well as help others i had to wipe the scumbags from all the realms and this is why i do what do and why i view things the way i do now maybe my perspective is warped or contradictory to why i’m doing all this but i only destroy assholes to save people and help people but i would like to see what your opinion is on this matter because the only reason i’m posting this is to gain perspective on ways i can better myself and if i need to explain anything further please let me know as i’m not good at explaining things.

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Your text confused me a bit, and I’m not good at explaining things either, but come on. As Freud once said, before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by idiots. I think this sentence applies well with what you said in the text, but why so much hate ?! I understand you to some extent, I also have aversion to romantic love, but not because of a trauma, but because I do not want to waste my time dedicating myself to someone and end up disappointing me in the end … I see that you have been traumatizing because of idiots like you say, though, I think you should always think of you first, and not be so hateful so, I think you have to have a equilibrium between good and evil, I understand what you feel, I also hate idiots, but they will always exist, that’s fact … but please do not be absolutely hateful…

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thank you for the input

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It seems you’re going through a difficult time and should maybe take a hiatus to center your thoughts and recharge.

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interesting

My only thought:

Wall-o-Text

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i dont get it

Extrmely long unbroken walls of text with no paragraph breaks are incredibly hard to read on a stcreen, in a manner that is not true of paper-printed text.

You can make the best post in the world but if it;s not broken up into paragraphs, it will be offputting to read and be effort and (your) time wasted.

I try explaining this in the PM I send all new members since the start of this year, that it makes a big difference to readability, to put in paragraph breaks.

It may seem silly or frivolous but why make your reader face a hurdle before they even read the text? :wink:

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hm i was afraid this would happen eh oh well ths post didnt really matteer anyways

im worse at explanations than thought

I would say, your ONLY responsibility on this planet is to your own happiness first and foremost. That doesn’t mean screw everybody else, it means make sure your needs are met first and not putting anyone before you.

So you’ve learned your lesson, you gave and you got taken advantage of. Join the club. Got news for you - that’s on you. You chose to do that. Yes it’s shitty that people will take advantage of that, you weren’t to know - but now you do.
Doesn’t mean you can’t find love, doesn’t mean you have to go off the rails and wreck everything in self-destructive rage, does mean, don’t do it again.

Improvements? Thinking aloud here…

  1. Start using periods and paragraph spaces, walls of text are really hard to read so that would help people a lot.
  2. It you want to identify as aromantic and avoid romantic relationships, at least for now, that’s fine there’s really nothing wrong with that. I do, myself, and there’s actually a community of people who are aromatic who are with you. Look up ‘amatonormativity’ and don’t let it drive you or make you feel like you;re bad for defining your own way of relating to people.
  3. I’m also with you on the desire to deny ‘assholes’ access to the planet. I do think the hold ascension back, and removing them is appropriate and they don’t belong here. Identifying them is an issue.
    I’m with T Sheridan’s shamanic POV that many of these are not actually human as we know them - they are lesser entities (he calls them demons) incarnating as humans thanks to the dropping of vibration due to the psychopaths in the deep state having such an insane grip on the world right now. They are not capable of compassion, empathy, love, fear or spirituality (so no, no black magician is one of these guys - these guys poo poo magik and religion as a hope of the weak, and philosophy as a tool for control of the weak) - they see all living things as resources to use to amuse them. They are the born psychopath - the people so criminally heartless their own parents are afraid of them. After that there are the damaged, the unredeemable violent criminals who have boxed themselves into a life view of kill or be killed and don’t want a way out.
  4. You were a scumbag and were saved. That’s pretty rare and you should be proud of that I think. Some others are saveable too, but those narcissists and psychopaths aren’t, because they feel their way is superior, compassion is weak, some even think they are the next evolution of humans (which is the grandiosity trait in play - a planet of psychos would kill the entire race off, obviously) - show no mercy, get rid of them.

So to better yourself, I have two suggestions: search of youtube and find out how narcissists and psycopaths think, work and can be identified. Then get really good at baneful magik - but take care of your own energy needs first, always… not least because, if you are not right, you can’t take care of anyone else anyway.

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im an very thankful i was saved and i was a psychopath ik psychopaths and how they work more than anybody

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so identifying them is no problem believe me

Some are born and some are made via abuse. There’s hope for the latter sometimes, but I’m inclined to think, the fact that you wrote what you did says you never were one. A psychopath wouldn’t normally get depressed because a relationship was ending. They don’t do relationships that way. Who told you you are a psychopath?

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but i have failed to find many savale people

before i got into the occult i was a homicidal maniac the only thing i wanted to do was kill innocence handicappped it ddnt matter had a spirit not stopped me i wouldve killedand tortured entire counties of people and iloved the way i felt when i got soclose tokilling before the spirit thing so yes i was a psychopath but aspirit uredme

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I hear you. There could be a lot of reasons for this, but mostly people have different goals and are pretty unaware and selfish. To walk among them you must practice very careful discernment, I find (general ‘you’ not you in particular)

You might want to avoid working with Abaddon for a while then lol The rage is delicious but can be addictive, and you must be your own master, not it.
A spirit rescued you? So, were you parasitised or something - how did they do this, do you know? I’m just curious what happened there.

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Quick question - can you love a pet, like a puppy or kitten? Or do you not see the point of pets?

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the spirit stopped me from killing two people in there sleep by possesing my body the spirit that cred me was the one i was ina rlationship with thespirit that stopped me told me to turn myself into a mental hospital before it was too late but also because i wouldgain much from a aparticular person i met therewhch i did

ilove all animals but pets are more akin to slaves tobe honest