Today I was extremely depressed. I even contemplated on going back to the christian faith. I know yall will hate me for that but it’s the truth. Everything has been falling apart for me. I am currently at the Battered Womens Shelter and feel like nobody gives a dam about me.
So I contacted a few Christians I know and they were happy to hear from me. Long story short :
Earlier I cried and said Lucifer’s name. I said Azazel’s name. I guess I just wanted to know that I wasn’t as alone as I felt. I got nothing but later on, I fell asleep and had a dream of Azazel. Purely sexual. I woke up feeling like I have been climaxing all day. I remember the touches and kisses. At times he felt rough skinned while others he was soft and had lips like me. He was saying things to me that I couldn’t make out.
I realize now that I can’t just turn away like that. Unfortunately it took a dream to convince me I am not alone. I pretty much have to get out of this mess I’m in and rebuild my life without human support. I guess that is what i will do . This is the first time I considered going back. Now I know I will not.
Thank you to Azazel and Lucifer.
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I’ve been sort of feeling the same way I also work with Azazel but I’m male so no weird sex stories from me I keep feeling like killing myself and thinking dark thoughts I cried last nite and I called out Lucifer and Azazels names they told me I have to stay alive in the human form and I am evolving and becoming enlightened… they also said they don’t want me to commit suicide even though I feel no attachment to this physical earth…
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I also keep getting claw marks and devil licks on me everywhere the cuts even bleed and I had been seeing goat demons and baphomet in my visions baphomet as a guardian wrapping his wings around me for protection… I know how you feel and I felt I was just going nuts considering moving back to atheism and thinking I’m going crazy…
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Stay strong love. Don’t you forget that you are a Goddess. I am in a huge depression my self and my life is pretty fked up I am lucky for now that my father took me in till I get my things worked out if he doesn’t kick me out the house any time soon…
I like to think all this is just an illusion and I am trying to control it.
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same boat my mom has anxiety about me though so she won’t kick me out but I am basically homeless like I said before Satan’s children suffer in this earth but we evolve
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