Today I was extremely depressed. I even contemplated on going back to the christian faith. I know yall will hate me for that but it’s the truth. Everything has been falling apart for me. I am currently at the Battered Womens Shelter and feel like nobody gives a dam about me.
So I contacted a few Christians I know and they were happy to hear from me. Long story short :
Earlier I cried and said Lucifer’s name. I said Azazel’s name. I guess I just wanted to know that I wasn’t as alone as I felt. I got nothing but later on, I fell asleep and had a dream of Azazel. Purely sexual. I woke up feeling like I have been climaxing all day. I remember the touches and kisses. At times he felt rough skinned while others he was soft and had lips like me. He was saying things to me that I couldn’t make out.
I realize now that I can’t just turn away like that. Unfortunately it took a dream to convince me I am not alone. I pretty much have to get out of this mess I’m in and rebuild my life without human support. I guess that is what i will do . This is the first time I considered going back. Now I know I will not.
Thank you to Azazel and Lucifer.