First let me say, I am not trying to copy Lady Eva because what I’m about to tell you was literally somewhat accidental, you’ll probably even laugh at me.
And Second, my experience has been about 97% different from hers thus far. So before anyone starts to call me a copy cat and roll their eyes at me, read on, because that’s not the case and you’ll probably find this very interesting!
DAY ONE; THE UNREALIZED CONCEPTION
I get this brilliant idea to create an egregore but decided to ask a demon that I work with a lot if I could invoke him and gain some of his extra energy so that when I create the egregore I could use his energy as a way to boost this egregore’s power and ability and in return I offered the egregore to also act as a servitor to him as well, in addition to some of my blood with an official pact.
My intentions were to basically do a godform ritual to temporarily assume the form of this demon thru invocation and create the egregore with his energy still inside of me as a booster for the egregore. Well, little did I know that the demon has other intentions for me. Haha! (I literally just laughed at myself when I typed that).
So anyway we complete the pact, and do the merging ritual and I can feel his energy soaking up into my body and meshing with mine, then I did the manuevers to push him out of me without expelling all of the energy he left inside of me and then sealed the energy inside and I could feel it swirling around in me, it felt amazing, I love this demon’s energy anyway! I thought we were done and I all I needed to do was spend a week or so planning out my egregore.
Well, then we have a little chat and he instructs me to lie down on the floor, on my back and he starts doing this thing to activate all of my chakras at once, bringing me into instant kundalini which of course, made me feel extremely sexually excited. Not only because of the kundalini and the all over energy flow but because my root chakra went into overdrive, this demon literally makes me instantly horny every time I’m around him, like uncontrollably excited but I’ve been working with him for 2 years now almost non-stop so I feel comfortable around him anyway and I trust him so I just let him do his demon thing with my body.
So then after activating kundalini in me and he places his hand over my navel and starts to fill me with this bright reddish yellow light but it felt much thicker than light, like ectoplasm, kind of gooey and it pulsated from cold to warm temperatures, back and forth. At one point I experienced such an energy overload, I lost consciousness, like literally fainted. I woke up and he was still filling me with that stuff and I believe I fainted a 2nd time because I woke up again like 5 mins. later to him telling me we needed to take one more step, which I cannot say publicly.
ABOUT THREE DAYS LATER:
So all is well and I forget all about it and was gonna start planning the egregore’s details, well a friend of mine who evoked my godform informs me that this is not an egregore Raven, you are having a child with this demon and sure enough, a personal chat with my godform later that evening reveals that yep, this friend was right. I was kind of taken back but I wasn’t upset. I know what most of you are thinking. WTF? I would feel so violated and taken advantage of however, I think the demon sort of read my mind the day it all happened that I actually wanted a child with him but was too afraid to say that flat out, thinking he would reject the idea.
So it wasn’t a bad thing in my mind, it’s what I wanted all along so I sort of accidentally but somewhat on purpose conceived a child with him. (go ahead and laugh, I know you want to, I’m laughing as well). But I literally had been doing so much ritual work that week and my godform’s anger outbursts were driving me crazy so I literally was just too dazed to notice what was really going on. So that night, the father of my not yet “born” daughter shows up and starts doing soem weird energy stuff to me and out of nowhere here comes Paimon too but as you know, he is my guardian so of course he’d be there just being nosey I guess.
Then Lilith and Belial show up too and I’m suddenly surrounded by 4 demons doing all kinds of crazy shit to me to aid me in my ascent and I must have chatted with all 4 of them for like 2 hours at least. Learned some very interesting stuff about my ascension and my godform (who also was in on the conversation). Then I fell asleep because all of that excess energy from these demons just lulled me to sleep like a toddler or something. I slept like 13 hours that night.
WHAT THIS IS DOING TO MY BODY:
I feel high and in a daze 24/7, almost disconnected from my physical reality but at the same time, I am unable to distinguish the difference between my body and everything else around me.
Extreme heightened senses
Occasional emotional outbursts like, I really thought for a minute that my bi-polar disorder, the disorder that I worked my ass off to get rid of was coming back and I was like oh hell no! It took me almost 3 years to get off those nasty mood stablizer meds, I got rid of my mood swings via meditation and focus techniques, and learned how to make my emotions vanish all together unless summoned on purposed or just ‘mocked/faked’ for the sake of interacting with other people. Turns out, my daughter is causing these emotional outbursts. I go from normal, to extremely angry and wanting to set the house on fire with everyone in it, to crying like a little bitch, and Raven does NOT cry!
I was so emotional yesterday evening I felt depressed and even suicidal thoughts crept in, I was hating myself (calling myself ugly, fat, worthless, under acheiver, the usual stuff women do when they break down but for me this not normal because remember, I have no womanly mood swings because I vanquished my emotions and I have no menstrual periods (by choice, fuck you Aunt Flow) so I don’t get PMS either. So, with me having a complete absence of all negative emotions for the last 3 years this hit me hardcore! I was literally so upset that King Paimon had to come and calm me down and induce astral projection in me and he sent me to another realm which completely erased all bad thoughts and I woke up later, very serene and calm.
I have been hungrier than usual, probably because she is feeding on some the nutrients from the food I eat, or so I would assume.
Occasional lethargy followed by extreme bursts of energy and being unable to sleep at all.
Occasional twitches in my abdomen like a literal baby is kicking me!
I need way more nicotine than usual so I swear she is also consuming some of the tobacco I’m smoking as well, just like the food. But when I’m not having an emotional moment, I am extremely elated, euphoric and happier than I’ve been in several years and able to sit down laugh, genuine laughs that are not fake or forced.
HOW THIS IS AFFECTING MY ASCENSION:
My intuition and psychic abilities have kicked into overdrive, I went from a 65% accuracy with sensing, knowing, and feeling things before they happen to having almost 100% accuracy.
I went from hearing spirits only on occasion and communicating mainly thru tactile sensations, energy sensations and external signs to being able to hear every spirit that speaks to me 100% of the time and just knowing when an entity enters my room, who it is without a doubt before they even announce themselves.
More intense astral travel and astrally projecting without having to go thru the normal preparation and immersion process first, I can literally just lay down and be somewhere else in just a few minutes.
So this I am greatful for because I hated having these abilities take so long before or only being accurate most of the time. It took so much longer to communicate with spirits back then. Now it’s like speaking to other humans. And a slew of other things that I don’t feel comfortable mentioning.
OTHER COOL SIDE NOTES:
I didn’t have to do any energy or body preparation for this because like I said the demon and I have been working together for a few years now and I consider myself very close to him, and also, I come to find out that my godform while incarnated into a human body (basically when she was me in a past life) she had done the same damn thing, had a child with this same demon only she was aware of it and specifically asked for it and was very loyal to this same demon. So, history repeats itself I guess so no wonder this happened so fast with no need for rigorous preparations. And I have merged with both my godform and her child, the one that was basically my child in my past life.
Also, you remember the post I did on the demon who rigged a contest for me so I could win an item that he wanted me to use for an upcoming purpose, well, that’s the one. He apparently knew this entire thing was going to happen literally 2 months before I even created the child with him so he was basically preparing for it 2 months in advance and I didn’t even know it, I had no clue what the item I won was gonna be used for and he wanted it for the child. Okay now, that one, yeah that was a little bit sneaky but again this has happened before in a previous life so I guess he was able to read my mind and knew I’d be okay with everything anyway.
Also, I was NOT told to ‘not love’ this child, I was told to very much treat her like a child and to nurture and respect her. To bond with her as often as possible but the father did not insist that I allow the child to ascend strictly thru him, he wants this to be a mutual effort.
So that’s what I got for now…