My self progression journal

I am not sure what I am getting from Andromalius… my dreams rendered me speechless… not sure if I was shown my past lives or what! But I was a different person couple of times… he still was just in the background… I was running around confused out of my mind… people acting weird towards me! First I was burning sigils and the wind was annoying! Someone was trying to help blocking the wind! He had a mafia feel to him so I was gonna go away… he grabbed my neck saying something about his BOSS! I started biting until he let me go! :no_mouth: then I find myself in a party running around! A guy looking like he stepped out of MMO was trying to talk to me but someone was dragging him away everytime… :disappointed_relieved: The last thing was me locking my self in a room trying to make sense of WTF is going on! Someone popped in the room out of nowhere! Got out a table with breakfast and fancy plates! He said “they are testing us together”! Then he laid on the table eating from my plate while staring at me! :rofl: I got my phone out trying to call 911… there was a struggle and I woke up…
:expressionless: if these dreams are from my subconscious am shook!
In the morning I called King Paimon and snoozed! We were talking while looking at pyramids! He told me I need a friend! I said “but I have you” he said “true”! :no_mouth: but apparently I could use a real life friend…
:thinking: I guess it’s time to draw!

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My last post for 2018! This year was a turning point for me! An eye opener really! The way 2017 ended wasn’t good! 2018 started somewhat meh! I shed my skin all through 2018 with the ups and downs! I am thankful for 2018! I got to meet entities! I got to know new interesting people! I got to do crazy stuff that 2017 me cannot explain… it’s been a fun year of transformation and self discovery!
Thanks Lucifer for pointing me to my path and guiding me to where I need to be! Thanks for showing up when I call and showing me all these forms! I can’t have enough!
Thanks King Paimon for being in my life from the start! Even when I just didn’t know it!
Thanks Belial for being Belial! I mean there is no words to describe this better!
Thanks Lilith for getting my letters!
Thanks Azazel for being in my life even when I just run away…
Thanks Asmoday, Orobas, Andromalius, Bune, Bael, and everyone else I called on for everything!
Thanks Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and Uriel for watching over me and helping me!
Thanks to every entity that walked by my side!
When I look at what I have done this year I wonder how an immature like me survived! All thanks to my guardians! I must have given you a hard time!
Many thanks and hope for more fun to come with you by my side! :kissing_heart::gift_heart:

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New year with lots of surprises for me! :heart_eyes: Finally King Paimon let me see him! :hugs: Briefly but oh my! this line was singing in my head when I was in the glitched state between sleep! :no_mouth:
“God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?” I heard musical too…
I made a drawing but couldn’t keep working on it for long! I felt my soul being sucked in… it felt alive and moving… maybe it was all in my head but I just couldn’t perfect it! The pull was too much for me and got me scared I’ll get sucked in it… weird feeling…

Last night Bael was in my dream again! A forest cat with a frog chin! He was mesmerising like he stepped out of a wonderland fantasy :kissing_heart:! Also I believe Lilith was in my room at midnight when I woke up! :thinking: I felt lots of presence in my room!! So much DARK energy! The centre of the room was like a black hole! I felt scared but then thought nothing to fear! Just my body alerting me! I didn’t do any ritual or mediate… just wanted to hide under my blanket hugging my pillow… Went back to bed and woke up my body feeling heavy and drained…

Since I got sometime alone I started this ritual and couldn’t stop sneezing hysterically… I was imagining lights coming out or Raphael, Michael, Gabriel and Uriel sigils to the candle and a beam of light from the candle to my forehead!! While vibrating the names! The sneezing blocked my nose so I stopped the ritual and went to lay down!

And holy fk this worked! :star_struck: I snoozed and jumped in the astral instantly! I had Belial enn playing on my phone and he showed up! I was trying to communicate but I didn’t understand a thing! When I open my eyes I see the astral but my physical eyes are closed! I get some visuals of what is happening and my astral eye shuts on me… I was glitching big time! Belial did something but then I said I wanna “hear”! All thoughts isn’t enough! it went for long me trying to see and hear him! It was like I was stuck in the dark awake and aware! The only guide was the visual he sends and the physical sensations so I said thanks I need to go back to my body and close the chant it started to annoy me! I was hearing the physical plane and not the astral! I couldn’t go back and just got stuck! In the dark in my body but can’t wake up and over thinking the heck of it! when I started to panic I screamed “Michael”! This is the first time I see and feel wings! I saw so much stuff and tinny feathers on my eyes! I can’t explain! The energy was massive! an idea came to my head “not to call anyone else” I can’t handle more energy! I was thinking I wanted to call Raphael too just to see him! Lol it’s awesome how they show up! I was like WOOOW WEEEE! Then remembered why I called him because I got scared that I couldn’t “wake up”! He grabbed my head and pushed it back! I felt a massive pressure squeezing my head until I woke up! I feel hand prints all over my head! My forehead on fire!
Will do the same ritual again for more psychic powers! :rofl: and I need to practice this astral thing! Also am starving…
Planning to draw Bael again :heart_eyes: I just love cats…
:expressionless: I don’t know why I am struggling with the communication part… it feels like am too distracted or can’t trust the telepathic information…
Thanks Michael for the rescue :kissing_heart:

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I need some discipline and self control… struggling with the thought “am going no where”… :unamused: gotta kick that depression in the nuts!
I got this stuck in my head… “call us and we will come”. he said to call their names in 3 parts so I think it’s the angels! So I looked into the 72 angels! :woman_shrugging: aspects work! Planning to meditate on them and see where it gets me!
Also started to work with Bathin! I see a shift in my view point! lots of astral information popped up so I thought he wants to help me with that? Planning to contact Gaap in the back of my head!
I need a memory boost!
Also this song keeps popping up…
Listen to Nightcore - Dark Horse - E.T. by Yani Rojas #np on #SoundCloud

Very interesting to read your journal and progression! You remind me of myself when I first started out several years ago. Paimon is what I consider a best friend to me, and judging by how you’re interacting I’d he’s quickly becoming a good friend to you as well. If you’re having trouble seeing him, his human form is what I like to call “the most average dude ever” His face is more feminine but still very male, hair can sometimes be longish and curly, or a short basic cut. Around me he usually wears a simple white dress robe, but he has showed me some beautiful jacket style robes he wears as well. They’re very royal and ornate- absolutely gorgeous to see.

I loved the post where you explained about wearing these magical pants that had a sigil on them? I took your idea and decided to paint a few sigils on an old pair of jeans I have; very excited to use them for some energy protection while wearing them.

If you have any questions about Paimon or manipulating energies feel free to PM me! (or ask Paimon to arrange us to meet in the astral while dreaming :wink: )

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He showed him self on new year like this drawing!

So this is a list of how it felt to get yanked out of my body! And different ways entities have gone about it!
First intense time my body got vibrated from the feet! Felt like standing on a vibrator machine! I struggled to breath so it lowered and something got shoved down my throat so I could breath normally! Then back to vibrating like madness! I even felt my head slamming on the pillow! When it reached the max it felt like zzz zzz… one second and I felt the thing down my throat being pulled out! So I started to see the astral and my body paralysed floating! A black human figure was on me! Then I started to teleport! Idk I can’t explain it any better! I reached the void that day! After my adventure I teleported out of space! First was blue stars coming my way like codding system then yellow cubes then bam all darkness! I thought I was dead… then the voice told me to think of my body and I fall back floating over my bed!
Other times I have noticed my root and crown chakras being vibrated and feeling like I am in a tornado untill I slip out! Or feeling like I am falling to the void where everything is dark but the ground is blue light!!
The most peacefull way was pulling my hand and am out! :hugs:
Scariest way is drowning in water :fearful:
I need more practice in this so I can start moving!

:thinking: so this weekend was astral practice!! I keep losing my awareness midway vibrations… woke up at 5am intended to get up and see Lucifer! All I was trying to do is leave my body while thinking his enn! A moment later I felt a hand holding mine! I was so happy! Got out just looking “Lucifer Lucifer where where!” he was a boy form!
I looked at his eyes and said “I love you” :kissing_heart: cheek kisses and a hug! His hair was blond and changed to brown and black!
:sweat_smile: it would have been awkward for me to say that to him if he wasn’t in a boy form! :hugs: I was so clingy! :cry: I didn’t get to say goodbye before I lost my awareness…
:expressionless: kept on trying all day my body was hurting…
:roll_eyes: the funny thing is I find myself out at night when it’s work day and I need my sleep!!! I got pulled out and said to whomever pulled me “:sleepy: not now! I need the sleep”…
:tired_face: this stuff is unpredictable you can’t schedule it… I end up eating my frustration and ruin my weight loss plans…

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Been ages since I wrote here! I basically disappeared from balg for a while! I had a lot to work on and life decided to throw a curveball after the other!

The thing with learning magick is you can’t stand by and watch life beating at you anymore! I am really thankful for that! I don’t even wanna imagine if Lucifer didn’t drag me in to this! :skull: the hopelessness would have ate me alive!
Thank you Lucifer for every door you open for me and givining me this knowledge!
Every situation is an opportunity to apply my skills. However, not every operation was a success, though it showed me how to improve it and try again.

The most I am into for now is Reiki and healing magick! Its almost funny how I learned it in time to help my family and friends! Its like my guides knew I’ll need it so they got me up to speed! There is a lot more to learn but the results so far are impressive!
I manage to help with faster recovery but the only thing is I am yet to do it on my self! Helping others heal isn’t an issue because it’s easier to detach! :sweat_smile: doing it on myself makes it hurts more! But not to worry I can always call Raphael and Marbas for that!

I accidentally got myself into planetary stuff! It explained a lot of what was happening the last year! Jupiter was everywhere to the point that spirits associated with Jupiter would show up to me randomly! I kinda had Jupiter infestation and was lovely! Jupiter supplied me with a lot of magical tools! Who knew I would get over 20 divination decks for free! And all that without getting caught! Any tool I needed I found it! Herbs oils candles stones! Even pdf books!
Its funny that worked for magical stuff only, but not when I wanted a specific size of shoes! I had a joke if they were magical shoes I’ll have a better chance getting them!

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I found this tool really handy for meditation! I must say I love muse !!! It was half priced last December so 🤷
I might start sharing brain activities!

Done a reading today with Raphael and this is what he has to say for me! I am still trying to interprate the cards so I thought recording it here so I can look at it again later!

Tarot cards basic meanings:

  • 10 of pentacles: Wealth, financial security, family, long-term success, contribution.
  • 10 of wands: Burden, extra responsibility, hard work, completion.
  • 5 of pentacles: Financial loss, poverty, lack mindset, isolation, worry.
  • Temperance: Balance, moderation, patience, purpose.
  • Queen of cups: Compassionate, caring, emotionally stable, intuitive, in flow.
    Ace of wands: Inspiration, new opportunities, growth, potential.

My interpretation is that “if I want a long term success I need to take more responsibilities! Its not gonna be easy but patience is the key! I have to follow my intuition to grow”

Lenormand meanings:

    1. Anchor: With stability and security, I bring peace of mind. I push you to persevere and help you reach your goal. Watch out for negative cards, they might shackle and pull you down a hole.
    1. Letter: I am a document, I am a message, I am information, I am a package. Sometimes I can be an invoice, a certificate, or a test result. You can find me as your mail, a newsletter, or an award. Look around me to find out more of what I am leaning toward.
    1. Choice: Decisions and choices are what I offer. Alternative directions are what I augur. I speak in multiple and double, and when I’m in a relationship I might be trouble.
    1. Lady: I could be you the reader, or the female subject of your reading, or a female partner of the Significator.
    1. Book: The book of knowledge, the book of secrets, what I house is educational and private. I may be your project or your research, and sometimes your studies and journals. Watch out for the cards around me, because with the Sun you will see right through me. I am hidden, I am unknown, but occasional knowledge I might learn.

My interpretation is that “he is helping me reach my goals and receiving informations! There is a choice to be made and I need to think about it! Do some research and read more occult stuff!”

:woman_shrugging: will see how this translate to the next couple of days!

Something weird happened in my meditation today! I am not totally sure if I slept!
First I was just looking behind my eyes and its orange because it is daylight! I felt something calling me! Then the sworm of dots appeared! Spiralling until a window opened in the middle! I could see people on the other side so I went in! Someone was waiting for me indicating that I was summoned! The colours still orange!
He gave me a bracelet and I decided to wear it on my foot! As soon as I wore it, he got sucked into me! I could read his thoughts and he knows mine! I couldn’t tell who in possessing who but the environment around me got more complex! Colours and weird shapes thats dimensionally impossible! It was a trip and somehow we made an arrangement to help each other!
I can’t say who is he or where that was because of memory issues… but I remember he made this sigil on my mirror when we came back to my dimension!

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So my night was messy! I was awake, I was a sleep, I was in a dream and partly astral feedback! Idk whats going on its scary…
I was a sleep and someone pulled me out and put me on my knees! Then started to vibrate my back! It started like a massage and increased until I started to panic and out of breath! Then it stopped and placed a mask over my mouth and nose! I smelled some kind of chemical! Then entered a dream! The dream was me talking to my sister in some kind of a hotel! I snapped out of the dream and felt something pulling on me! Smelled the chemical again and went back to another dream! This time I was on the stairs trying to get my cats to follow me! Then i went downstairs and found my mom with my grandma’s sister (she is still alive)! She looked different and too white to be real than my mom looked in the dream! Then she held me, kissed my forehead and said good night! It wasn’t her voice… it was someone else! Thats when i realised it was a feedback of something from the astral! I went back up to sleep but I was thinking wtf! Is that real! Then saw my cousin and told her about our grandma’s sister! She said who’s gonna die in 2 days? I was like wtf not u too! Did u even hear me! Then i woke up for real at 3am…
When I went back to sleep someone was explaining things to me but I didn’t understand because it was a horror story!
Its bizarre but got a friend to do a reading on me and said am going through an alchemical transformation!
This been going on on and off since i started this path… whats worrying me is that am not afraid of it even when my subconscious makes it bizarre!

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Holy shit! They did something to my teeth this time! Felt like dentist! It actually felt good! The weird thing is they made me wear a vest and was looking at mountain views while they play with my teeth! You know how the dentist tool feels? The one that spray air and water? Thats how it felt but with extra coldness to it!

Before that happened I was awake and felt sleepy out of nowhere! I closed my eyes and started hearing a buzz and loud sirens! Was like my soul was leaving and my body being crushed! I knew that its because am about to astral but my body still awake… so i woke up and did some breathing then flipped to the other side and am out! I was roaming around until someone gave me the vest and threw me on a mountain floating!

Before all that I was gonna do my daily planetary offerings but thought ill do it later and just went ahead with banishing…

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I am at lost of words these days… feeling disconnected from my cards since most are omens… I see the warnings but where is the solution? “Somethings aren’t meant to be fixed” ugh so :expressionless: I wait?

This world never lost its shock factor…

The past week I got addicted to coffee even when it hurts to have it… its just bad for me… but I needed to keep up with work :weary: and at night its hard to sleep because of all the thinking… it feels like my life is on the line here…
Who said coffee ruin astral projection is right! Since am used to projecting spontaneously I did. But I was just folding on myself and everything is distorted… since am used to weird projection experiences I was calm but pissed because I need my sleep and hearing my heartbeats loud gives me headaches… i felt like a slime being fold on it self by it self infinitely…
I need to cut coffee out but I need my job more so fk it… last night I couldn’t sleep so I decided to force sleep and took a sleeping pill… Best idea ever! But yeah my mind still fkd…
I slept the night! Had the most active dream and astral projection! Dragons monsters! stuff that doesn’t make sense! something was trying to eat me so I punched it went flying! at some point i was making honey cheesecake in a jar for a monster or something!
It was supposed to be a nightmare but I didn’t flinch because my mind was so out of it… someone dragged me out of the place and I can only remember his eyes! Was light greenish grey! I have seen him before so I don’t mind what he does and I keep calling him “my son”… idk why its weird! He looks older than me :sweat_smile::woman_shrugging: idk what we were saying but I remember him say “you can always call Raphael”! That shocked me! So i said “you knew?” And he said “i have always known”! :exploding_head: I ended up hugging him and waking up…
Yep so sleeping pills and coffee messed with my mind…

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A job well done

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:slightly_smiling_face::upside_down_face: got those today finally! For daily planetary offerings and rituals! Am feeling happy!
Got Uriel oil to help connect to him! Idk why he is always on stealth mode! :ghost:

I had this experience today:
Someone was talking to me in my half sleep! I was sort of dizzy and sleepy with a massive headache! I thought its my brother but then he said he is a demon called Feren or Felen or Fehren! Idk if I got it right or not but its something like that!
I wasn’t sure if i knew him or not but my head was spinning like am drunk and I was babling random stuff to him! So he told me “make sure you drink water when you wake up”…
Then I kinda teleported somewhere and was seeing him shape-shifting! He turned to something like sonic! And then something from avatar movie! And something like a robot human! Everytime we go to a place he change to something else! I thought he is trying to blend or not get caught or something! so he winked at me indicating am right! Is it weird that he seems to know my thoughts?
I also have no idea where we went! It was like a fantasy lands where everything upside-down and stuff with colours that doesn’t exists in reality! I went there multiple times that the things there knows me by name… the place seems to look different for me everytime so am not really sure its the same astral location! I know the things there know me because everytime they welcome me saying “oh you’re back” “I was wondering when you will drop by again” “we were looking forward to seeing you again”… and they would offer me drinks and desserts!
The things there some looks human and most looks like they jumped from kids creatures shows…
And yes when I woke up I drink some water! :laughing:

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:thinking: I am trying to understand how to work with mercury retrograde!

This says I can cast spells with mercury retrograde as playing a joke?! Like it has to feel funny to me?
Orange candle with mercury oil and symbol for the spell! Ill add a sigil of my intent with the corresponding herbs and blood! Or maybe not blood! To be casted on Wednesday the hours of Mercury!
:woman_shrugging: sounds like a plan! Just need to think more about my intent!

:exploding_head: learning new things everyday! And here I thought I was slow… well shit! Something is working out for me somehow! I am grateful for this! Mercury sorta had a field day with my emotions for a week or so! Yesterday everything cleared out after invoking Raphael! I need to try harder to stay balanced…
There is a spirit who looks like Scar from the lion king! He keeps hanging out in my room! My cat sometimes gets bigger and looks like a lion but that wasn’t him! I have seen him multiple times when I astral or even roll around in my bed! One time he was a sleep and I was playing with his black hair! It was so soft! He snores like a cartoon :rofl: and one time he was chasing intruders with my cats!
My astral room is practically a zoo! I love it!