My Relationship with Ant'harratu

Ant’harratu is one of the most extraordinary spirits I have worked with. I was drawn to him because the descriptions in The Book of Azazel made him seem wise, dangerous, and ruthless. On an intuitive level I felt that he would be able to teach me things I needed to understand in order to grow as a person and to manifest my goals.

Ant’harratu definitely matches my personality because I am very mystical in my approach to magick and life in general.

Originally I asked him to make my career as a cam model more successful so that I could reinvest the money for some of my larger business goals. Common wisdom would have it that that such a request is too specific. Being that specific can make it more complicated for the results to come about. It creates too much of a narrow channel for everything to flow. That, combined with the radical ways that Ant’harratu works, led to a pretty bumpy ride.

My cam modeling got sufficiently “successful” that I got a stalker. And then the stalker effectively destroyed my business. And then the people I met through this whole depacle became strategic allies and busines partners. That seems to embody Ant’harratu’s typical pattern: destroy in order to create.
Since that time I have done a lot of posession channelings with him in order to learn more about magick and the nature of reality in general. It has been a very powerful experience. As I continue to work with him it keeps opening up new opportunities and creating more sources of personal power.

I want to share with you an experiment I did with automatic writing while in a possession trance with Ant’harratu. Some of the subject matter definitely reflects my psyche and beliefs. Which is no suprise really, because that is how channeling works. There is a fusion of horizons (to borrow a phrase from Gadamer) between your mind and the mind of the entity. Some of the content is very different from what I believed at the time of this writing.

Overall I am ontologically agnotstic about the nature of magical beings. I think it is best that way, to treat magick as an ongoing open ended experiment rather than imposing too many of your own biases.
Anyhow, here is the stuff from my channeling experiment. Let me know what you think!

In the absence of a question there can be no answer.

Why is this?

All creativity comes from the Self. You have been deceived by doctrines that emphasize that the self is an illusion. For the magician, the Self is the transformation of illusion into actuality. The Self is the ultimate magical working. It is an idea construct you create through the action of your thoughts, actualized through your movement in the world.

The art of the magician is to create experience. When an aspiring magician begins to work the art, their aims are always about the accumulation of experience. Consider the young novice working in his circle. She tries to conjure a boyfriend, money, recognition, and so on. These are all experiences, first and foremost. The self is the organizing principle that unites experience. The self is the central character in the psychodrama every individual is writing, the narrative that they call their lives.

In that sense, the self is the object of all magical workings; It is an unreality made tangible trough the power of intention. Identity is a distillation of beliefs and perceptions. Most people do this unconsciously. The magician is one who carries out this process with intention. The Master is one who caries out this process with knowledge and precision.

Isn’t attachment to the self the reason why people remain trapped in Samsara?

The Sleepers drift aimlessly according to the currents of their own unconsciousness. They move from one incarnation to another in exactly the same way you move from one dream to the next each night. When the momentum of a dream is exhausted, the constructs of that dream dissolve. The temporary identity that lived within the dream evaporates, gone before it can comprehend the fact that it had ever been. These constructs are displaced by new constructs, a new identity, with different desires, different perceptions, inhabiting a different setting. Each night, as you move from one dream to the next, you are almost always unaware of the dream that had been taking place just moments prior.

Those who are Awake are like lucid dreamers. One who is able to become lucid in the dream state must first understand the mechanics of dreams, must become familiar with what it is like to find oneself within a dream so that it becomes possible to notice when it is happening. This process is fortified and given impetus by disciplined intention. All acts of disciplined intention are magical acts. Magick is the art of isolating intention, exactly as an athlete isolates a muscle in order to compel its growth. Weak intention is the fruit of unconsciousness. Strong intention is fruit of awareness. To cultivate a powerful faculty of intention, one must practice awareness. One must become lucid within the waking dream of life.

What you call “attachment to the self” is the plight of a dream character that is addicted to the ephemera of its present illusion. What I call creation of the Self possible only to the extent that one is not the victim of one’s own illusions, trapped within the context of their own creations.

Azazel claims that this is the only realm in which it is possible to become a God. What does this mean?

In the beginning, man ate from the Tree of Knowledge. This is the emergence of intelligent self awareness. Living creatures are the sense organs of the universe. They act according to their nature, slaves to the sole commandment of biology: “Go forth and Multiply!” Man’s power to think and understand is also his curse. He knows that he will die. The struggle against death is the motive force behind all science, all technology, all religion. The dust from which you are formed is doomed by the inescapable laws of entropy. Religion is the effort to conquer death through art, symbolism, and metaphor. Science is the effort to conquer death through the comprehension and manipulation of the physical world. One is rooted in belief, the other in fact. Magick is coincidence of these opposites.
This realm is an arena where finite creatures struggle against Death; it is the matrix of initiation. Man has forged idols since the beginning of history, vessels meant to be the habitation of a God. Wrought from the crude inertia of stone and metal, the idols of primeval faith were insufficient instruments for the coming forth of living Gods. It is only through the body and mind of a living human being that true divinity can rise.

History is the ultimate initiation; it is the transmutation of an animal into a God. The legend of the Tree of Knowledge represents the emergence of language, intelligence, and self awareness. In tasting the fruit, man was banished from the savage harmony of primeval nature. Having attained only half of divinity, man was trapped with the understanding of a God in the body of an animal. He could taste the nearness of eternity while remaining trapped in the remorseless finitude of time. Only now, having surmounted the labor of uncounted millennia, is the Tree of Life at last within the grasp of mortal man.

How does one become a God?

The path of darkness is to become your own creator, forging a universe in your own image. There is no formula for the creation of art. To contrive such a formula or adhere to one is to diminish the potential that any art will arise by the effort. The first step is to undertake the actions of an artist. Those who focus on the outcome rather than the process will not undertake the necessary work. They are the one’s who say “I want to be an artist,” who waste words on the fervency of their desires. They bemoan their lack of time, or their lack of inspiration. Those who become artists daily undertake the discipline of their craft. To attain Godhood, you must cultivate the capacities of a God.

What is the meaning of spiritual darkness?

That realm crafted by the few, where even the controllers are controlled and the deceivers are deceived — that is the realm of light. Every form of life, every society, is rooted in a set of myths and beliefs. Cultures are held together by collective allegiance to what can and cannot happen, what should and should not be. This arrangement makes it possible to live a safe and comfortable life. But all such contrived realities attempt to legislate the rest of existence out of being. The world beyond, the undefined, unknown, and untamed; the world of power and freedom— that is the darkness.


Love this post! theres so many great points that i agree.

Wise words well put. A lot posted here aligns with my own views. Be safe and dig deep.