Running Around in the Darkness

I am going to sleep on it and make a concrete decision.

However, I feel I’ve already decided I’ll petition Belial.

I’ve been reading the lil tutorial for petitioning. I’ll give it a try in a day. I want to see if there will be any developments.

I haven’t really ever worked with entities of any sort. I’ve always relied on my own manifesting and spell casting. But, I am looking to bring out the big guns, so to speak, on this one. And if this helps me go down the path of finally working with other entities, I welcome that. I’ll have to face that anyways if I truly want to walk into necromancy. Which is one goal I can’t let go of.

Sorry if all of this is dumb, this is my journal :grin: and I don’t really have another outlet to share my thoughts.

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So I have made the decision to petition Belial…

But! Some of this situation has changed, and I am less concerned about the legal aspect and more concerned about the people side of it.

I am a bit excited about this. (Still nervous as ever though)
But I plan to fast before I do this. Empty stomach = empty mind. It helps with meditation.

Lately, as I meditate, my mind travels. I’ve stopped trying to control that so much.

Sometimes I try to focus on a place, other times I just let it go. Usually, these are new places I end up in. But they’re all on this side. I’d love to pop into the astral for a change.

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Alright, I did it!

I petitioned Belial last night. I wrote the petition on this little card and drew his sigil on the back. I spent so much time drawing it (I’m a meticulous creature), but I was so proud of it once I’d finished. :smiley:

The actual petition went well, I activated the sigil and then began the petition. The air was cool in the room and I felt a tightness in the back on my neck and jaw kind of. No clue what that means, I put the petition in my passport.

Belial’s name has been playing in my head the past few days, after the petition that finally settled down.

I went through another worry-trip today and this voice in my head said “all is resolved”, I no longer have this sinking feeling in my gut. I pulled runes for the situation this morning and they were very positive about this.

I’ll know the exact results in a week.

Overall, I made the concrete decision I want to work with Belial and Bune.

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That’s a big step and I applaud you for making it.

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Thank you, appreciate that. I am excited for where this journey will take me.

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No updates on the situation.
I’m slowly working my way through Christian Day’s book. I’m enjoying it so far.

I plan on using the servitor Luna to cleanse my space and practice my energy sensing with her.

I’m holding off on contacting Belial until after the situation is over. I don’t want to bother him. But, I’ve begun reading more about him and Bune. I have very positive feelings whenever I think of Bune. Similar feelings to whenever I deal with Fehu.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my relationship with this rune before on here. The rune has my heart, I cannot explain why. Fehu always follows me wherever I go. Once I began working with this rune, a mild obsession began :smiley: But If I ignore Fehu too long, the runestone I have likes to go missing, damn near gives me a heart attack every time.

I might show you guys my runes later, I have a stone set. They are beautiful. I have grabbed an Anki flashcard set to help me learn them better. I’ll use that to practice their meanings more.

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Yall I am trying to be positive, but my situation is progressively getting worse. Well we’re at a stalemate.

I still don’t have that bad gut feeling.

I nearly always have this before something bad occurs or if it is occurring. Tomorrow is the last day to get an answer on whether or not everything will be fine. And I feel fine? Like at peace ya know. Even my runes are consistently positive. I pulled three today and haven’t read them yet. I’ll read them in the morning and pull three more for tomorrows outcome.

I know my doubt is my biggest obstacle. Just three - four weeks ago I had a situation that looked grim, but I pulled positive runes, no bad gut feelings (well I had terrible gut feelings prior to everything going down, I knew something was coming, but I thought it would be family related), low and behold everything worked out fine.

But fuck, it is easier said than done to throw out doubt.

One of these days I hope I learn to trust in myself more.

I just need to remind myself: I create and control my reality. As I will it, so it is done.

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In the effort of being more positive, I thought I’d share a positive manifestation that came forth today.

In relation to my job, I have been lowkey manifesting a promotion. Today, my boss messaged me and told me I’d receive this promotion. She said everything I wanted to hear. This felt great.

And I thought I’d share a memory. Back several years ago, when I was still in the states, my friends (two other witches) and I liked to talk to whatever spirits were around.

I know, I know, opening up possibilities for all types of entities to pop up. Young and dumb, did I learn any hard lessons? Nope. But I did find out I’m clairaudient. At this point in my life, I’d only done dream magick, manifesting, and energy work.

But we’d talk to spirits and read their answers through cartomancy. But I could usually hear their answers before the card would be pulled. However, several not so nice spirits popped up.

Still, I wish I could feel and hear them like that again. Currently, I can’t get into a mediative state or feel energy to save my life.

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I’m back. So the petition didn’t pan out. Though, I am facing a wall with the situation. It was definitely a long-shot. My runes are still positive, but they are pushing towards the idea of a complete change in direction. I keep track of the ones I pull in my notebook, after further looking into the ones I pulled a week ago, I think they were pushing towards that too.

But I am completely out of ideas. I think I’ll do a road opener spell, and maybe one to bring me some wisdom and guidance on how to move forward.

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Yooo, it’s been a little bit.

My runes were right. Per the usual. The change of direction has thrown my life into a very positive position. I’m currently getting myself together. I’m heading home!!!

I leave in a week and I’ll head back to the states. I think this is a good thing. My energy peaks around there and my sisters (witches, not blood sisters though) are there. I need this.

I want to speak to Bune very soon. I still have this lovey/sweet feeling anytime I come across the Duchess’ name. My heart is, and has always been so soft towards Bune for some reason. It’s time I face that. I don’t know what I want to contact her about. I just want to talk to her. You know what I mean?

Fehu, my love, has been helping me through some work/financial issues. I need to begin my pathworking with Belial. I’ve been so busy with my work as of late.

Guys, I know this is completely unrelated to magick, but I am so happy to be going home.

PS I’m dumb, I saw this all transpiring in my dreams a month ago and I was like “oh cool dream”. I swear… I’ve been seeing the future in pieces through dreams since I was 7 and I still can’t put the pieces together. If anyone has advice about this, please share…

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I feel you. I get a sort of deja vu occurrence when I stick to “my path”, but can’t really define that. When stick to it, they happen. When I get off of it, they stop. Sometimes, there can be long breaks between them, but I don’t feel out of harmony or resonance. Not every event is preordained or whatever. I think some of the milestones are, maybe the more impactful ones that we chose to incarnate for?

You can see I don’t have a definitive answer. Some things I really wonder about is whether I was shown other things that didn’t happen. Do I simply forget them and, if so, at what point? Were they competing paths and had to be determined? Do the ones I remember seeing flashes of act as a goal post for me to head towards subconsciously, influencing me behind the scenes?

I can say that I struggle with the really good ones far in the future. There’s that nagging feeling that it may just be a desired fantasy. But if I doubt it too much, will I get in my own way? This last part is what I thought of when you described your dreams.

Alright guys, It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this and I need to hop back on and start doing this. I’d like to keep this as my journal for my witchcraft development.

So let’s start going through things… Fehu, love of my life still. Never going to get passed that. I’m still not awesome with runes but it’s due to laziness. I will be hopping on that soon.

Now a couple months ago, I started working with Loki.
I know, ya’ll are going to think I’m crazy. My best friend/sister witch basically wished me good luck when I told her. But Loki and I are very similar energy wise.

It’s been a trip. I don’t regret it at all. Regardless of how many times he hides my vapes and or wallet. I went back to the states for a few months. So, my bsf and I went on an adventure and checked out a ton of metaphysical shops in our area. We picked up a weird spirit in one fluffy magic shop and he took off to find a new home in a very cool metaphysical shop.

I have a pendulum now. I never thought they worked right, turns out I hadn’t found the right one. I love him and he’s my lil buddy. Always got him with me. I left the US again early Sept. I’ve got a wonderful new space to practice.

I felt good about leaving the US knowing I had this pendulum and Loki. Loki has given me some great bind runes and has been helping to pull me into the astral. Though I will say, everytime he pulls me in, I feel like a little kid being drug around by their parent. I have no idea what to do with myself. I really am trying to learn more about necromancy. I want to dive into, but not until I’m well versed.

Anyways, I’ve decided to stick with norse gods from now on. I think I’ve got a better connection with them. Loki is where my focus lies when it comes to god. He is teaching me some hard lessons at times. But they are things I needed to learn about myself and how I’m living. He’s tearing down the lies I’ve told myself, and I appreciate that.

And whenever I need a little bit of loving energy I know Freya is there for me.

So, yeah. Hope you guys are doing well.

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Best I document some things I’ve seen on Loki and I’s trips into the astral. So there’s never any warning when he decides to pull me into the otherside. The first time I was faced with the dead spirits around this area. A couple wanted to talk, most ignored me.

Another time, I don’t even know where he took me, it was dark and dead. Lot of dark things there, they’re hard to describe.

Usually it’s mostly trips like the first time. But I come out of these trips so disoriented.

I’m not really sure what he’s trying to show me.

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Also if anyone has any tips for necromancy, feel free to share. I’m always looking for advice, tips, etc. Anything to help me out.

I was reading about pendulum accuracy that other people have experienced along with just general experiences people have had with their pendulums. It just reminded me how thankful i am to have mine. He’s never told me anything but the truth. His predictions have always came true.

Though, i don’t treat him as a tool, but rather as a magick partner. I love him. And i cant express how appreciative i am that he came into my life. He’s the first one i turn to in any situation. My lil buddy :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Alright my love rant is finished

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Some updates. So i tried to AP on my own last night. I still suck is the conclusion i came to. Though this session was a bit strange… As i was meditating and trying to project, it felt like i had slipped and i was falling feet first, this feeling completely pulled me out of my meditative state. It was so weird.

Does anyone know if that means I’m getting closer to projecting? My goals are the whole obe thing. But it’s an uphill climb to get there.

The paranormal level of weirdness has hit an all time (and sometimes annoying) high. I’m currently on my own in the apartment and geez. I don’t know what i attract but they only like to pop up when I’m by myself. My partner is missing out on all the fun. I know i should cleanse the space but no one seems negative and i don’t mind the company.

I sound so lonely right now, but oh well. :grin: As soon as i move back in with my partner in a month all the crazy will cease. For whatever reason, no one likes to pop up when he’s around. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I can always count on Freya to pick me up when I’ve torn myself down. Just wanted to make a public announcement that she’s wonderful and I appreciate her.

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Alright peeps, so I got super stoned and thought I’d meditate. And I almost fell again. I feel like I am so close to that OBE I’ve been searching for. Just can’t quite reach it.

Also, Loki has been pushing me towards Hel and Fenrir. I’ve decided to start doing some research on these two and then actively work on contacting them.

But I have a feeling that more than just Loki has been popping into my space during these last few days.

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I’m ready to let my craft consume me :heart:

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