My Personal Alchemical Transformation. Journal in self realization

I guess this is all catagories. Since I as m working towards and getting varied degrees of success. And as I’ve just experienced a death and feel as though in bei birthed. Evocations are all tell me I must rest.

I have my written diaries and recorded notes but this will include some of it and whatever. I know my notes can be sounding messy… But… (sarcasm thoughts).

My merging with Ashala and Minkasa was raw loud hot and the flesh of me was literally almost asleep.
I am almost always Morgana the flesh is less and less the prominent… I died so far almost 4 or 3 times since taking up the challenge to mys to bev and then continue. As nothing ever ceaces its continuation.

My last merge was on the new moon we just had. I ser have to emphasise that I felt a death my birth was
them / I declaring Selves who they are what we are.
I feel myself Morgana which is why I changed the way I end most replies. It is why I say:
Dark Blessings.
Morgana Le Fae

There is more then the darkest sights of mental alterations my spirit is altered.
I have wondered what phase of colour I was up to… Then realised the backwards motion of postural analysis of every step in that fashion.

I love alchemy and although I do not have equipment or supplies to do what I want at this time. I can still make tinctures and elixirs, (I have some brewing away).

Not sure what or how much I’m sharing it’s a journal when I have gone through the deification rite then I’ll start another because that is just the beginning not the end.

Let’s begin


Since you have titled this as a journal, shouldn’t it be in the Journal section?


I’m on a mobile phone. Mov things like on a computer doesn’t happen.
Bzeides it’s titled journal so it in ‘category journal’


Today first day back to the gym. Can’t say I worked terr hard but enough. I have been doing the crystalline Skull breathing that often I seem to fall into it. The dragon breathing as taught by Yberion is pretty awesome. As someone who was born with asthma this has reduced the need for inhalers. I did go a couple of days without my steroid inhaler “Breo”. But of course that was I had restart it. Smaller steps on this. It’s certainly one of things that I will change about myself when I can.
So what has this to do with returning to the gym. it meant when I was needing the asmol I sat and breathed as shown. It means that breathing through my crown is not as much effort. I think I can manage two breaths ut I have not pushed further yet. It’s spring now I will continue daily healings keeping allergens in their place; that is in effect a tool for use. What can anyone do with allergies but treat it like it is: energy, which something to play with. Not succumb to.

There are many things I am doing besides the gatekeepers and their alchemy.
I desire to extinguish the locks on the chakras. Turn them to nothingness. Dissolve them I have made several attemptswith EA’s sword fingers to the ajna but have not noticed any effect.
What I have found is my body seems to hold more vitality. I have been feeling my wings stretch and expand, as if on their own.
I know it’s been only a couple of days s in nce I experienced a death when my Selves wished to merge I do feel more like who I am… I noticed how much I simply don’t care about what I would usually care about
The merge is only the start


Fixed for you. :+1:


Thank you @Lady_Eva


Last night I found out who Shimyaza was the same person I was making contact with for the telekinesis work. I channelled his image whilst channelling someone else, a cross over.
I aided the other boy/man in some energetic healing

All that day and day before I was, smelling tin or silver strong metallic smell like a combination for rain and something else.

Telepathic contacted Yberion.

So with assistance from Yberion using Petrucelly’s channelled chakra removal.
We did this and I moved fully into my body. The electrical surge as I entered shaking convulsing cold pulling
Chant came through
Iri kasha’ Mun Zata Morgana ,Morighan
Yberion spirit translate as
Igniting the chacric energy into my scales

The astral ability is profoundly no issue at all. The things I can do with little effort.

Yep I’m proud yes I change form yes I am dragon yes I am fae.
I know mages who publicly despise other kin and that terminology leaves a lot of empty space… and not explains a thing. But I don’t care. I have in the past been told how how much it is frowned on. Thing is. I don’t care

I was query about my daughter who seems to have shape shifting qualities mostly wolf. She tells m e this morning that sometimes she feels wings and sometimes she feels ears and a tail.
I told her I think I may know but I’m not going to in her with my current understanding that she can explo and find out for herself as she grows… Then I’ll share my understanding about it.
She didn’t like the answer but knows arguing with me is pointless.

When I was naked yesterday at the gym change room I realised how lovely it was. Early this morning after the removal I realised how fantastic and awesome my form is.

IRL’ LAD ISH ’ STAN = you will do as I will

Which came now as I was sending my will to a target to bring me something and be greatful to serve me.

Alright personal things are not going in here. :wink::black_heart::heart:


You are a true Goddess :fire: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :fire:



One question, it was hard to do it? Did you centred on having one only like the solar plexus chakra?


No it was not hard. I read it through for myself but I did not do it alone. Yberion said the rite energetic pull and we worked through it together.
But I was fully ready.
I know my progess was faster than what some say normal but I think now how I was ready anyway but wasted time avoiding it all. I had to snap back and do this.


The fun begins. I have alliance pact with a friend. Other work is about to start.
My telepathy and prophetic abilities have returned. Using theta brain waves on audio’s has no effect on me now.
I lack inhibitions enjoy sex not like in a relationship.
Im not needing. But enjoy the freedom to come and go as I please. With whomever… Preferably through spirit. Where you transport your form to where the other person is so your there. Also just by relax a bit cand mind probe and manipulate a persons body ie stroke their back and they’ll fee it.
Not sure on a non sensitive person but I have not explored much.
Def feeling more power through my veins. I am more Myself than ever. As in I am all of me I don’t have to call up one aspect I just draw on certain skills.
Definitely want to start eating meat again. Not slot given the quality of what’s on the market.


Yep the work begins now. I’m going to rebuild my wealth my “castle”


Discovered telepathy can be used in pin pointing location with GPS. As in waiting for the Uber to find our lacstio after sev drivers quit the job. I used my mind to link to the GPS - location so the next driver found us less than 7 mins after 3 got lost and half hour or more.


I’m finding my appetite pus less which for me is generally not been a good sign as I’ve never been a big eater… ever. But although it’s less consumption it’s more frequent. But I’m energetically consuming more not just blanket feeding


Words come as I alre know them no incense I’m doing dishes and I start rambling non human words in phrase rrepetatively I stop then without thinking it repeats itself

Azazel and Abaddon same warning

Azazel said " your fr is not your foe and your foe is not your friend.
Servents will be ready when you are stronger
You have legions. Ah. You forgot. You have protectors. Ah you have forgotten. You have forgotten. You will remember
Morgana: who is this enemy?
Azazel: Shimyaza is coming
… He will tell you
So I asked him but this time unsure if I could sense him like previously.

Kira ish ‘Stan OK bi tala a sam’ a
Kirish stan Kirish stan
OK bin mi ‘sham’ a

Me: - - - - queried

Old is new and new is old what is then is now what is now is old

-who answered-

Kor’is stan
Kor’is stan

E’ Res’Sta
Reveal your name
Iri sta

The name of the pointed star of the North Wind. South.
Iris’Sta Kalis

Herein the enemy come from within to without, and within the enemy wants to find you. Again.

Me: I m not to fight yet. I promised

Do not fight.

Shimyaza is coming

North Wind South
Dust in the East.

Riding his horse. Riding with his spear. Rid the grounds.
Bronze (?) leaves(?) one’s you hate

When ever his name comes to you. Do not fight him. Do not fight.

I have no fear. None at all. I just want to know.


I made contact with Entity who is vendettaed against me. I have the protectivd shield if Belial and defender of Azazel by asking. I guess other gods cannot step in. I feeling alone and pressured on a sides. I feel as though I have pushed friendship boundaries because I do not know what to do.

His name is “Mia Kas Rhasid” .
And “Elak Binarhdin”

He growled and yelled and taunted me when I said that I will not fight and that in this place there will be no fight.
The fight named against Minkasa
The reason for hating me is
“You fought in a battle that was not yours”
This repeated a few times.
I said I. Peace
“E’elish in peace”
I have had dreams years ago of a me being browned skinned fighting in a battle as war lord in I think Asia or Asia Minor.
I saw the battle being played out before my eyes. Through his eyes. I in huminoid And draconic.
E’elish In peace I repeated I will not fight you
We will find a peaceful solution to end your vendettaed obligation.
Then I asked for the name of the one who sent him and his. (mentioned above).
I repeated the rules of engagement. That no battles occur here and now
Hus response
“Ia’sah we will be back”

I was distraught I k ow that trying to call others because of the wild sensation was unhealthy and disrespectful. So my apologies @Yberion

I have distanced myself from it watching a kid show with my daughter and then evoked Belial and Azazel again. So pacts will soon be made.
I copied Yberion by Astrally drawing Azazel sigils onto my left breast.

Showered and washed my hair like a ritual.
Now I can only wait.
To resolve in peace to dissolve the discontent of the person who set this in motion and release the entity in question.

I have kept my word and not sought violence even though he taunted me / Minkasa aspect as though we I were savage beast.

I feel alone I feel hatred coming at me I feel emotions from Outside of Myself.


The mornings was promising with experiments on my long (ish) walk by the river.
Though the telepathy is being awkward with cross over emotions and cross over thoughts it taking a lot of effort to distinguish between mine and two other people.
Didn’t get more than 3 hrs disturbed sleep
Fuck I feel like I ought to be begging for forgiveness… Maybe it’s not my feelings or thoughts but the entity in question.
This is Not My Confusion. It is external. It is placed apon me as part of the attack.
I Will not be destroyed
I Will not BEG.

But I have offered peace and have not broken my promise.

Those who know me truly know that I do not do betrayal. I do not break my word.
As far as I know I have not.

Last night around 2 I finally sleep. Then I see a man in medieval battle armour walking around me
Then Yberion wakes me up. (This was not a dream I can tell by my body’s sensation.) So at 4- 4:30
He was seated & smoking something. He called
“Morgana. Morgana. Morgana.
(Wake) Come to Me.”
I was instantly alert and turned on my device.
But that as it turned out was the Spirit Yberioth. So not exactly the same.

Thats it. Either I am assisted I. Learning how to negotiate with the spirits or I am not.


Second attempt at co tact the spirit has declared death to Minkasa.
The vessel of this spirit recognises my spirit it wants Ho fight
I refuse it asks for a champion
Eri a Eri tu my blade is dwarn
I replied Your blade is mute
There is no fighting in my court today.
Then who will you send to defend you, my lady
My reply
I do not wish to play. You are dismissed from from my court my presence. Mia’s Kas in all your names and form.
You are dismissed.

All in all this is rediculous


Update on this last night Yberion a d talked and some very effective shielding and cleansing and I no long feel the feelings that don’t belong to me.

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Today evocative of Azazel.
Things are different in that I speak with language not human or my birth tongue, very often with translation.
Also evocations are quicker more deltailed in wird or expressed content.

Well here is our contact:

Agios Indesor Ira Munt Fae’ra he
I am the faery queen and I honour thee great lord friend

Ias sha ma Ias te I cun t’toro Azazel
I call you to me Azazel

I am berit unt tor kia pa le’rel theas tes tia much cre’es sta
I have need to fight teach me to fight

Ria’kass Ria’kass
Contract contract

Bias sa u vellum Ba haart Ba haar’t
So it shall be done

Ae’ria ulama hiasana he’ina Si’aer Or’ia mus’ta

Are you the fighter (about the attacker)
Iri’kash Iri’kash

Get the implements.

Made an ethereal lions heart a, d divided it into half and we shared it.
There things are bloody juicey.

I’m either going to be eating red meat frequently O egg do some effective vampirism!!