i have been hesitating about posting this here, but i feel the need to do it, since i consider the people of this forum kind of a spiritual family, and i am in time of need.
i will give here a brief introduction on the matter.
my mom and i lived seperately since she’s gone to work in Italy some 10 years ago. her job was being a caretaker of older persons. the last job she did was for a very wealthy family, where she took care of an old woman (who is actually an old nazi vampire bitch). that woman’s son, F.R. (who hired her) is very rich inheriter - owner of a generational bussiness. he laid my mom off the job the day before she was going to go to a one-month planned vacation. he knew he was going to do it weeks before that, but he didn’t say anything to her, he just handed her the papers the last day, and when she tried to talk to him, he turned the cheek and said that she can talk to his lawyer. so, stressed out, she went to vacation, jobless, and came to visit me.
in the days of her visitation, i led my mom through a series of meditations, and i even did the EA’s cleansing ritual, which he wrote about in the newsletter. we did the ritual on 12/21/2012. she was very calm and peaceful when around me, we talked a lot and we dealt with personal issues that we had to work out. everything was well except she didn’t have a job anymore. but i assured her that everything will go just fine because she is very good at what she does, and everybody knows that. i had my working in mind to help her find another job (which i failed). and i didn’t take her stress that seriously, which i should have. she was very positive on the outside, and calm while being with me… but i had no idea how much anxiety and stress she had when alone with her thoughts.
so she went back to Italy, dealt with sindicate and court, because that sonofabitch who hired and illegaly fired her when he found a cheaper substitution, didn’t even want to pay her for the last two months that she worked for him.
all the time i kinda knew that even though this is a rough period for her, going through a lot of stress, the things will get a lot better. but, 3 weeks after she went back, she suddenly died. in her sleep. she wasn’t sick, nor did she had obvious medical issues, at the age of 57. the day before she died, we talked on the phone. she wanted to check on me, because she had a feeling that something is very wrong with me. i assured her that everything is fine, and that calmed her. she later wrote to me on gtalk that she is happy when she sees me online, that’s how she knows that i’m allright.
for no apparent reason, i did a mini ritual before sleep for myself, to align myself with the divine feminine. i felt safe, secure, held in the arms of divine mother (something i really made up that night). and then she died.
this was a week ago. i talk little. i feel like a walking corpse. i cried so hard like i never did. and i went to Italy, had to deal with the police and sindicate and the court and banks and the morgue, organizing transportation to take her home, and going through all her stuff… i found the gemstones that i charged for her when she would visit me. and her parfume, and shoes… her laptop, with wich i logged into her facebook account… i made a call to my grandparents, her parents to tell them she died. it felt like my grandparents are going to die that moment of sheer grief.
i have no words really to describe how i feel.
when i was there, in Italy, dealing with everything, we also tried to call F.R.
as i don’t speak italian, one woman called him and asked him if he is willing to meet or talk to me. unsuprisingly, he was not cooperative. he was arrogant and he even denied that he owed her any money.
i do not know how does this man, F.R. looks like. i know his name and his cell phone number. i couldn’t get his picture nor his adress. he lives in another town. the thing is that people who i know there are actually scared of making enemies there, because they are foreigners (like my mom), doing lowers class jobs for the wealthy elite.
but for now, i have to put F.R. issue on hold, because more important thing is going on.
now i seek advice from the people here who feel they can give good advice on the following matter:
my mom is to be cremated on thursday. there will be no priest. she was a christian. exceptionally good woman, with a pure heart (i know this is standard to say for any dead person, but my mom really was a rare type of good selfless human being).
if i died, i wouldn’t want a priest. but, in her case, it only seemed natural to have a priest on her funeral.
but… the priests i contacted are fucking money-hungry bastards who make problems even now. i don’t know why it has to be so complicated. but it is. the cremation is to be done in one city (where the crematorium is located), then were are taking the urn to my grandparents city, which is yet in another country, to have a funeral. the priests will not show up, under the excuse that there is no ceremony for already-cremated. so they said that it “could be done” if they asked the highest clergy in the church, by letter (not even a phone or an e-mail), but then it would cost a lot more…
i spent all my money on the transportation and everything else and i entered a hefty debt. but it’s even not the money issue. i really don’t want to deal with those priests.
my only concern now is to help my mother. to give her any and all help i can. spiritually. there will be no priest.
i want her to be free, peaceful… to help her see the light.
i really have no spiritual insight on how to deal with this. if anyone can advise me, i would be very grateful.