Hey guys i wanted to share with you my journey so far regarding magick.
I was always really into spiritual, even as a young child i was spellcasting although i didnt even know what that was. After a single traumatic event i have lost my mind in a literal sense and was put in a mental hospital and on meds. before that life was hard after that it was absolute hell.
After 6 months of existing this way i learned about goetia and started hoarding books on magick, spirituality and the occult. Since i had little or no social life at the time it was the only hobby i had. My obsesion was evocation. Magick was my only hope to live again it was a small faint hope, it was unreal and chances for succes were extremely low, but small faint hope was all that was needed.
I watched every EA video and learned everything that i could on my own. Soon started with candle magick. Wishes started coming true. Approximately this time one year ago i did my first evocation and after that power exploded.
I wanted something that no one thought possible to cure the incurable For that ritual i used raphael and marbas separately, i got a bit better. Soon i decided to use them together, And i did.
Before that i thought i was imagining things but after one week i got off my meds and became myself again.The impossible has happened the goal was achieved what now? After that I called upon sitri and told him that i want to become irresistible to the opposite sex. he told me to start jogging.
That was all. So i did. But i didnt trust in him and myself and told him to prove his power. And he played a little joke on me( i was pleasing myself to mental images of 60 year old women for 2 weeks) after that my doubts evaporated.
Women started noticing me at first saying helo here and there which seemed like a great achievement for a fact that i havent talked to them for at least a year while on meds.
Well a month ago a perfect 10 fainted while i was walking by, i lost a lot of weight and i grew an inch, so yeah my doubts about magick have definitely evaporated in this year. Well moving on.
While still seeing a psychiatrist while off my meds ( she was a frankenstein kind of person she would enjoy doing lobotomies on a regular bases if they were legal) i decided to summon king paimon to convince her to put me on tests proving that im sane.
He told me that the treasures i seek are unatainable, he didnt come roaring he didnt insult me he treated me the way i would treat my brother which seemed like it was all made up, i mean why in the world would the strongest demonic king of goetia be so brotherly towards me.
soon after that psychiatrist confronted me triing to convince me that i am a dangerous potential murderer and needed to come back, she didnt even hide her evil side anymore. i knew it was king paimon but it seemed that he screwed me over.
i got scared and paranoid. but than one thing led to another and that same sadistic psychopath of a person was forced diplomaticly( without any effort) to admit in front of my mother that not only am i completely sane but its like nothing ever happened so king paimon saved my ass after all plus he gave me some good life advice afterwards.
School became increadibly easy, it took supreme effort on my part but even though i couldnt pass the subject for 3 years demons saved my ass again and even when i screwed up i passed by some miracle and if i didnt i didnt because it would conflict with some other working-i learned that in hind sight.
While on meds i remebered the people who drove me insane every day. They were like family before that but honor demands that i avenge myself, after working for protection and removing curses that were placed on me and my own spirits revealed great insight into the lives of my enemies.
I enlisted the help of our common friend and a person i have great respect and admiration for EA Koetting. He didnt just helped me save my situation he told me a lot of things i just couldnt comprehend at the time (in fact i just might book a consultation so he can tell me more in the future).
i started to perform baneful magick on my enemies, i dont do that a lot and i dont think about it at all after i do it but the first time was hard. I remember crying afterwards and a shadow howering above me while i was sleeping after the working. spirits soon started to visit me on their own. powerful spirits all of them demons, telling me to evoke them and telling what they want from me. (i still havent evoked any of them because i dont have the balls right now) but its interesting how they speak they speak in riddles and its often hard to know what they mean i usually find out after a month or more when something happens.
2 powerful demons offered me a pact although that was the last thing on my mind at the time. lilith was the most interesting spirit that visited me, her presence was increadibly forcefull. One day i just felt something dark in my home, i did a cleansing but it stayed there.
Soon the lightbulb in the bathroom exploaded while i was having a shower and there was something scratching the walls. i started doing a banishing the spirit started to touch me on my back, it was almost electric pulse it was intimidating but not harmfull felt almost like a lover. I did exorcism and the spirit seemed to disapear. couple of days later lilith started speaking to me while i was meditating i told her of the bat that im not interested (she scares the living hell out of me) soon after that i was increadibly tired when i came from work i went to sleep.
lilith came again her presence was even stronger and i couldnt wake up until i submitted and promised i would listen. i started talking to her she was very interested in my attitude towards women and was increadibly sexual in her words. and the touching on my back started again even stronger she told me she wants 3 things from me when i evoke her. semen, blood and skin.
i can understand blood and semen but for the life of me i still have no idea why she would want skin, well moving on. while speaking to EA during consultation he told me that azazel another powerful demon way out of my comfort zone has been with me since childhood and that he is not alone. like i said awesome consultation will do it again in the future, but i almost shit myself when he asked me if i worked with lucifuge, a month later i went for a ciggarette and i actually saw lucifuge walking beside the forrest for a brief moment.
Aside from magick and spiritual revolution in my life i have won on every front in my life for the first time ever, school went through and i have a full time job, the biggest problem right now is my own impatience. i still cant bellieve what was achived in just one year.
Right now im working on getting my own place and a car plus i want to buy more occult books and products, those that i stole in the past and helped me and some new ones that im interested in. Life became enjoyable for the first time in my life and that is just the beggining and for that i thank everyone who taught me knowingly and unknowingly.
Thank you for a fantastic year be well 
