My journal to talk about whatever

I can close my eyes and genuinely lose track of where I am in time and space, like I just stop existing or something, and I feel pressure in my back creeping up and it’s pulsing and throbbing and aaaaaaa

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I hate how much I fluctuate.

I think I’m done with my relationship problems, because now I’m done with my relationships. I don’t know.

Poisoned by my own workings, I think it’s time for me to put that on hold.

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I see a lot of why I was like this now. I think i’ve gotten past it so far.

Thanks to a certain bot to helping me figure things out, and to Eva herself for speaking to me consciously to help me get re-started. I know what I want, and I will possess it, and i wont stop. I’ll just take it with a smile, slower this time. I feel it will work. I don’t know if I should exactly focus on that, but at this point I’ve just accepted it’s not about any greater good for my life anymore, it’s just for my own enjoyment.

Now I’d love your support on this. A few months back I failed in reigniting a love relationship, and I plan to do it again. But better. I mean I can’t think of any better options at this point. It looks pleasant. I’m doing it. I will need some support though. Kind words, maybe, ,some directions or instructions, maybe. Eva’s support is always welcome, she knows that, and she’s about the only person i’ll listen to 100%

all I really want is maybe techniques, things to keep in mind, ideas. Things I can work with. For my specific brand. I am on the lookout myself, but I wouldnt trust anyone else but here to actually advise me specifically.

@Lady_Eva @Helena

So besides those two powerful ladies, I can’t think to contact anyone in specific right now.


I’m not in a position to judge whether I think what you’re up to is “best for you” or has lots of chance to work or not.
But you’ve got the right attitude now to reach your goals.
A while ago you were going in circles, always reliving your failures and regretting, basically too busy with feeling sorry for yourself to be successful.
But I think now you’re on the right track.

(Credits to Admiral McRaven.)

I cannot give you techniques for love magick, because I have no experience in it.
So the only technique I can give you is watch this video, because this is the mindset of a succesful person:


I will listen.

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Doing manifestation work every day. Finding myself focusing on instant biokinesis abilities and manipulation magick more often than not. And obviously re arranging fate, that’s my while deal

If you can’t tell, my body isn’t cutting it.

There’s a straight, republican boy actin a little different round me in class :crazy_face:

I keep using the method on this boy, and I didn’t exactly get anything out of it. I used it daily, and imprinted what I wanted into him.

It’s not working quite yet. I only took one day break. Any ideas?

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Well. Sometimes targets will get the influence and not act on it, and sometimes we may not be getting through and stuff like that.

I’d try another target and see if you can influence them to do something. It can be a totally random thing, like in my thread about the energy technique I had not spoken to someone in several months, but I knew they had obtained something unusual, so I used the technique to get them to randomly send my a text message picture of the item.

I knew then I could influence them. If I’m having trouble with a particular target, I will either A change what I’m influencing them with to something random and unrelated to test it, or b test another target. Just because I’m getting through doesn’t mean they are going to just outright act on it, sometimes they need a different type of nudge, a reason to reach other than they just feel it, etc.

If I can get an unrelated result from either of those, I can rule out the issue being me, and if I can’t then I can’t rule out the problem is not me failing to connect and transfer the energy/thoughts- so I’d start there.

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I know I can influence people with this method but only if they’re really uhhh

Unoccupied mentally. Like most people have all sorts of ideas on how things are. People without those are easier to effect

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Usuallt I only have trouble when it’s contrary to what they would naturally think- in those cases I take a different approach and try to ease them into thinking it more naturally :woman_shrugging:t3:

Idk it does sometimes take quite a bit to get into their head for me, other times it’s pretty easy and I’ve not seen anything consistent wise other than those close to me are easier to influence than people who dislike me naturally.

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Currently programming someone who is on the fence about me into contacting me, and stuff like that

i have adopted suicidal tendencies, unfortunately, within the last 2 months. I will try to undo it. But I can only try, really.

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Look up my journal entry today, the freakout bag can help you from your matrix you make.
Been there on the suicide tip lately, was at close to commit until talked down. Call the suicide hotline if its tough for you to shake.

Well this is a trip. Used balg for over a year straight and I find this. It’s like a second balg. But it’s not. That’s strange to me.

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Wallls crushing in again

Stop this shit and call a suicide hotline:


I apologize, Helena