Good evening everybody.
I am fresh here and this is my first time seeking insight on those having similar conditions with my own.
I was born the fourth of October, 1994. I am within the understanding that the moon was blue when I was conceived; at least the night containing the occurrence. I worship my birth chart as to the T! I am dedicated to the moon and Venus as influences as far as celestial bodies go.
Despite a childhood deluged by abuse coveted as step-family’s Christian religion, I’ve disciplined myself under the many voices in my tiny brain: those who emerged under the identities of demons.
I perceive that demons have transcended beyond us through enlightenment and they have the intent of being mentors of such for us. I relate the color purple to them, and since I started seeing purple, they became a very healthy dependency… Very crucial in a fractured household. I consider myself utterly graced by their attention.
I do not have much experience in traditional craft, but I withhold a lot of wisdom on their behalf. I told a total of five people in my entire life, three of whom were close friends AND witches and completely rejected my “outlandy” standpoints most likely because they were just scared of that level of depth in darkness. Two friends remain one who was interested practically and thoughtfully but frequently fetishised it (I typically never allowed my sexuality to surface in their presence). The remaining friend, he actually aided in a more stable communication with my company. He and I spent a couple of years on spirit work. Very situational, but the sought was rewarding. I used this seemingly endless pool of guidance, perspective, and constructive input which would come out circumstantially, but appear from nowhere, bleached with purple. The majority of cases just so happened to be my favorites: finding spirits to relieve them of their burdening ties to the living world. As fruitful it may of been, a portion of my many traumas are linked to this work. I did not agree with banishing spirits from their homes, for then they had no shelter. I met with those utterly begging me hear their story and plead me to usher mercy. I met with those who fought me the entire way, 50 years dead and didn’t want to let go. I met with trouble, and evil, however the worst being the unhinged. It got to a point where I couldn’t take justice without losing a night of sleep and a barrel of water through crying.
I’m not sure they feel badly, because they only see the virtues in dispatching the restless, however they still mean everything to me even in this concurrent state of devouring self-contempt.
I revere them, I would never dishonor them, and though this should have been an INTRODUCTION, I have so much more to tell. It’s been forever. And I crave to learn through like-minded individuals.
To make the read worthwhile, I’ll pose some inquiries.
Are we cambion? I always saw myself as half human half demon. My username is a product of this innate feeling!
I found this forum trying to research the significance of the newly found presence of spiders in my home. I do know what it could mean in several different lights, but are there definitive suggestions a reader can offer?
I was born assigned male but I am enveloped by femininity. In fact, throughout my life, my feelings of this sort were usually accompanied by a feeling of stoic pride, omnipotence, beauty. Drenched in purple. I havent made much of a connection up until now, what could this possibly mean? Do you think it could be the blessing of Lilith’s consideration?
I hope to plant my roots here with you all. I’ve been in dire isolation for very long, and I need to leave it. I’ll be willing to put up pictures, maybe I’m just a bit shy at the moment, nonetheless, pleased to meet you!