My introduction "BaDatahm"

So here I am. I’m pretty drunk, but I’m not much of a talker about myself when i’m sober so let’s begin (english is not my native language so pls forgive me any mistake, i hope i will be still understandable).

So i’m 22 years old male, i first got into touch with the “Occult” when i was 17 it was back in 2015.My parents divorced when I was 13 (or around) I dont want to get into that era really, it would be too long, long story in short, Father was an alcoholic mother was too submissive to do something before permanent damage was done to me and my younger brother. Stayed with our mother. (ffw few years) I was strung out on benzodiazepines w/ alcohol. I was like “I gonna commit suicide anyway and go to hell, so why not sell my soul enjoy life and go to hell?”<<–At 17:)))
One of my high nights i just googled “How to sell your soul to the devil”
The JoS “How to dedicate your soul to Satan” was the first hit. I just read the joyofsatan site and i was fascinated. I kept examining the site for 1 whole year and it matched all my formal beliefs. I was antisemitic even before i met spirituality. After one year i did the dedication ritual. I dont want to talk more about the antisemitic thing but i have my opinion about the Jos might later talk about it.
I wasn’t a diligent meditator (ffw 3 years)

When i was 20 or 19 really cant remember. I did some RTR’s some meditations but still not much of a meditator. I had my hand-drawn ouija board, and i was playing with it like “I ask Father Satan to no malevolent spirit can get close to me-So any spirit want to talk?”. Nothing for like 3 days and i’m drunk again w my brother. It’s 3am an i insists playing with the board . And all of a sudden its moving like som eone else is moving it. I ask "Are you with Satan?"and it spells “666”. Next day after wor i just feel this almost panic-attack sensation (increased heart rate, my skin getting numb) and i suddently realised it was the spirit (my guardian daemon) from las night.

(ffw to nowdays) A lot of help i got from that spirit who i call my Guardian demon.
i want to close it short. I can write in minutes (by spirits or Demons or as I call them Gods). I never could draw but when the gods drive my hand they draw pretty things through me. I can go under full possession, but i still haven’t got my clearvoyance which is my main goal right now–>>to see and hear deamons and spirits like i hear the people around me.

P:S :If anyone can tell me anything about my name (<<hugs for them) 'cause i wrote it before i registered (i have some idea of its meaning but i want to hear anyone that can tell anything about it(
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Welcome to the forum. When times get tough, it’s just a bad day, not a bad life. :slight_smile:

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I got tougher from that. I haven’t asked for sorry. Just told my Story:)))
btw thank you for the welcome:)

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

What’s wrong with Jews?

Welcome to the forum. Some may disagree, but i find opiates/opioids on a good dose to make communication with spirits/entities effortless. When i get a good nod, combined with intention to communicate, works like a charm. Your talking bout benzos and booze, so thought this would be good advice. Like i said, not everyone will agree, but imo its important to expand yourself with substances. I like it anyways… :wink:

I’m clean now so won’t experiment with them. But i agree on that booze in itself makes it somewhat easy.

Mostly i was a teen and edgy af :smiley:

The Jews are nice people.