Hello everyone、I am DarknessRising.
My name is a reflection of myself that I have always known but recently embraced (I am a child of darkness). Since childhood I have always felt a connection to magic and had a knowing of how to work with it to a certain extant. I do not wish to sound egotistical or make it seem like I am special、I am far from both those titles and see us all as the same regardless of how we got to where we are.
As a child I could feel different spirits around me to the point I could tell you where they were and what gender they presented. I also felt a connection to the spirits that are referred to as demons and always felt sorry for the way humans treat them. Deep down I knew those people were wrong. It wasn’t until I was 15 that I was thrust into conflict with the light side so to speak.
At age 16 or 17 I suddenly woke up around 2 or 3 am. There was a fly in my room that flew into a toy bug cage earlier that night and died. I was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of power and somehow knew that I could bring it back to life. I sent so much energy into it I got dizzy and almost fainted. It felt normal to me and exciting at the same time knowing what I was capable of so I watched it for about an hour. It died again at some point after I fell a sleep.
A few years later I acknowledged that I was being guided by force into a new way of life and began to research magic further. At 23 I bought a book and began reading and practicing it but soon found conflict in that as well. This book was usefull in healing someone close to me but after that I turned away from it and started to rely on my own knowledge and whoever the spirit that was guiding me was teaching me.
After that I didn’t do much accept meditate here and there and sometimes make energy balls to see how strong I could make them. Anger and despair have been my constant companions so I more or less gave up instead of being lazy about it. I started reading runestones and working with my pendulum more.
On days of deep depression I started to look again at what I could do with magic to change all this. I found black magic and was no longer afraid of it but never pursued it due lack of faith in anything even though I knew it would work.
At 28 I was again called to heal a friends family member who was close to dying、 I asked openly to any spirit who was listening if I should intervene and I was told “yes、 but stop when you are told and let him be” I agreed and began the work later that night. 4 days later I was told that I had done enough and to not continue.
A year later I was looking at youtube and a video popped up of E.A. Koetting. A few days went by and that same video was always in my feed and I had a strong pull to him and an inner need to watch it.(I was content with no life at this point)
Fast forward to today and I am happy to have been lead here. I have spoken with Lucifer and I am currently being pushed to start changing my self and circumstance through working with him. Embracing my darkness has been one of the best decisions I have made so far、 I finally feel like I am apart of something and where I am supposed to be as a sorcerer. From here、 I have decided that 2019 is going to be my year of sorcery. Getting myself back on track magically and mentally on a regular basis instead of just thinking about it. As my name implies、 I am darkness upon the earth and it is time for me to rise.