I have decided to start a healing Journey.
I want to step up and own my Life. I want to see what I am capable of, and I want to share it with all of you.
I feel like a drowning Person.
In a wide merciless pitchblack sea.
My chakras are leaking everywhere currently, I am tormented with physical Pain that has poisened my body 24/7 it‘s a bad flare up of my fibromyalgia and C-Ptsd. I am bedbound. I am destroyed. Mentally, Physically. But I am not saying this for anybody to feel sorry for me. I am just telling it as it is. I still feel there is something there for me, in this Life.
My current regiment is;
I need to plan every move very careful and in Advance. I cant just send that little energy out in the universe on spells that wont work. I need to accumulate my energy and develop a system.
My current approach:
While in Bed, I am charging a stone with all that sick death/pain energy, I hold the stone or put it near my body. Its absorbing all the darkness, and toxicity.
Its a passive approach. I dont feel relief, but I will do it for 30 days. I channeled a sigil, I have put on the stone, an essentially I am charging the sigil.
I will use it for baneful magick, to transfer the pain on my target. If I really chose that’s necessary. But I have time to plan my moves.
I am doing the sword banishing ritual two times every day. The first time I did it I felt so much good energy. It felt powerful af.
I am creating a protection servitor. Its a hellhound inspired by Cerberus. I can already feel it growing and forming deep inside of me.
I will create a manifestation Box using dark matter energy. take a normal box, and kill it, and give it another Life as a Dark matter Womb. I will store my petitions there.
As soon as I gather a bit more physical power, I will look into Qi gong and some good old trauma therapy. Even though I think I am the only one that can pull me out of this shit.
Despite being sick - As if thats not enough; I know that I am under the LoveLust Spell of a powerful magician since 5 weeks. He is so much stronger than me, and he has a pact with Beelzebub, or Beelzebub is close to him, or something like that. I can’t completely identify it. There is another spirit he is close to, I even think its a female one.
I know he‘s tormenting and draining my chakras like a pro to gain influence over me and turn me into his Sex slave. He‘s waiting for me to break, so he could then contact me; and have me where he wants me to be. I felt the wish to text him and succumb. But I dont — because I am AWARE. I am not some weak ass ignorant victim. It takes energy though not to follow his twisted calling. He doesnt know who he‘s fucking with. Its not that I think I am strong, but paradoxically, after everything I have been through, I am still alive, and thats a Miracle in itself.
I know this sounds so dark, but it is what it is. We can scan and interpret energies, energy fields, and we can use our astral senses.
Thats just facts. I mean, most of us can.
Right now its just me (and angels). No spirits nothing. just trying to accumulate energy in some way, and Protection.
My interest lies in creating a magickal surrounding
And make everything magic. Daily objects, tasks, rituals. There are places with strong energy aswell.
I will find them.