My Healing Journey

I have decided to start a healing Journey.

I want to step up and own my Life. I want to see what I am capable of, and I want to share it with all of you.

I feel like a drowning Person.
In a wide merciless pitchblack sea.
My chakras are leaking everywhere currently, I am tormented with physical Pain that has poisened my body 24/7 it‘s a bad flare up of my fibromyalgia and C-Ptsd. I am bedbound. I am destroyed. Mentally, Physically. But I am not saying this for anybody to feel sorry for me. I am just telling it as it is. I still feel there is something there for me, in this Life.

My current regiment is;

I need to plan every move very careful and in Advance. I cant just send that little energy out in the universe on spells that wont work. I need to accumulate my energy and develop a system.
My current approach:

  1. While in Bed, I am charging a stone with all that sick death/pain energy, I hold the stone or put it near my body. Its absorbing all the darkness, and toxicity.
    Its a passive approach. I dont feel relief, but I will do it for 30 days. I channeled a sigil, I have put on the stone, an essentially I am charging the sigil.
    I will use it for baneful magick, to transfer the pain on my target. If I really chose that’s necessary. But I have time to plan my moves.

  2. I am doing the sword banishing ritual two times every day. The first time I did it I felt so much good energy. It felt powerful af.

  3. I am creating a protection servitor. Its a hellhound inspired by Cerberus. I can already feel it growing and forming deep inside of me.

  4. I will create a manifestation Box using dark matter energy. take a normal box, and kill it, and give it another Life as a Dark matter Womb. I will store my petitions there.

  5. As soon as I gather a bit more physical power, I will look into Qi gong and some good old trauma therapy. Even though I think I am the only one that can pull me out of this shit.

Despite being sick - As if thats not enough; I know that I am under the LoveLust Spell of a powerful magician since 5 weeks. He is so much stronger than me, and he has a pact with Beelzebub, or Beelzebub is close to him, or something like that. I can’t completely identify it. There is another spirit he is close to, I even think its a female one.
I know he‘s tormenting and draining my chakras like a pro to gain influence over me and turn me into his Sex slave. He‘s waiting for me to break, so he could then contact me; and have me where he wants me to be. I felt the wish to text him and succumb. But I dont — because I am AWARE. I am not some weak ass ignorant victim. It takes energy though not to follow his twisted calling. He doesnt know who he‘s fucking with. Its not that I think I am strong, but paradoxically, after everything I have been through, I am still alive, and thats a Miracle in itself.

I know this sounds so dark, but it is what it is. We can scan and interpret energies, energy fields, and we can use our astral senses.
Thats just facts. I mean, most of us can.

Right now its just me (and angels). No spirits nothing. just trying to accumulate energy in some way, and Protection.

My interest lies in creating a magickal surrounding
And make everything magic. Daily objects, tasks, rituals. There are places with strong energy aswell.
I will find them.

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@ReyCuervo do you think that method.you’re working on could help here?

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Maybe? The method is very experimental right now and OP is already doing a bunch of things, but it may help to ease the pain

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Hi, What method…? I‘m intrigued

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Personally I recommend a Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram invoking active Spirit, as well as a Relaxation Ritual, and finally a Middle Pillar ritual. You might also consider a Rose Cross ritual, or some other way to cleanse, banish, shield and ward.

The LRP will balance your internal world, making the senses balanced. The Sphere of Sensation is the term for this from the GD. The RR will help to relieve pain, and the MP will fill you with divine energy that will or should compel the predator to back off.

I recommend all four. Your opinion @DarkestKnight ?

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Is very experimental, I’ve just been a month on it.

Been busy fixing real Life problems. there‘s sth leaking in my bathroom (from the ceiling). Yesterday I had to go to a hospital with a panic attack. Extreme sleep disturbances.
What a ride. Might be the wrath of my opponent, might be bad luck.

Anyways, I am still motivated though.

Its all very chaotic, I feel like that might be what my opponent is about, distracting me from my self care protection magick…he‘s fucked up. I am learning so much actually the way he is targeting me. And even if he isnt (this time), I feel like its all a big test.

Actually I have sent sth back last week.
After my first sword banishing there were some consequences (I asked for a sign that the energies are bouncing back at him and yes, thats what I got).

I love Angels.

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I dont want to ask twice, and get on your nerves, but if there‘s a chance that you‘re willing to share… I‘m very interested. This pain is just another level

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Okay, I’ll DM you, and no worries, you’re not getting into my nerves.

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Do you use pendulum? You can use it to load the stone

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No I dont use pendulum. Taking notes

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How do I use it?

can you send it to me too please

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That one I might add to my regime thanks

And this… I have never heard of this… will look it up

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I have been thinking about colors today especially the color green!
Its weird, now I found out green is color of Archangel Raphael.
I talked to him with my inner voice a few days ago.
I am glad he‘s communicating with me through thoughts.

Just right now, I feel him around. To my right side. Hes so beautiful that I‘m close to tears, its so awesome, what an energy he carries. Its misty, and ethereal and kinda „alien“ , but still very close.
Archangel michael always feels more „far away“

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I cant find the energy to perform 4 rituals a day.
In my stressful situation(with my bathroom ceiling leaking - and I got it confirmed, that its my opponent, who still has influence over me).
I thought about metaphorically (or he planted that thought) that one drop might be enough for everything to go down, and then the leaking started. Could not be more obvious.

I will call upon RAPHAEL. Fuck it. He‘ll heal me. I trust him. Also Michael for shielding and cord cutting.
Also MP.

My Intuition tells me MP will be a game changer

I did a fast run through to practice.
How much time does the ritual take you…? @Fuego

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Qabbalistic Cross or Shining Cross, about 5 min.
LRP/GLRP-- about ten minutes.
MP about 20-30 min
Rose Cross Ritual about 45-60 minutes.

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