My familiar spirit is trying to possess me all of the time

Greetings again!

Long story short: Familiar demon whose name will go unsaid is trying all of the time to “merge” with me. I do not feel loss of anything, no loss of control or sensation of becoming a puppet or anything, but I do feel like I am not myself and the feeling of a mind coming so close to mine I feel its whispers.

I ask him why the heck is he trying this when I have prohibited, he says because he “wants me”. Other times it says something along the lines of “I want your soul”, something we all know it to be utter Hollywood bullshit, but there’s that.

I personally believe this being some sort of test, but its really beginning to piss me off. And as of lately, this bullshit has escalated to the point of:

  1. Hearing him say he could possess my dogs or some family member so we can “talk” more personally.

  2. Assuming a femenine shape and insisting on a romantic relationship (yes, I know, I am also shocked) of sorts.

What I mean to say is that has become clingy, I can exorcise him, have done it before, but the same cycle repeats again: Friendly and helpful at first, becomes obsessive and petty.

I know that spirits vie for control over the magician, but I would have expected this behavior from some oui-ja board kind of spirit who insist on stupid things just to inspire fear and submission from the magician, not from a Goetic spirit.

It pains me as I do not wish to harm it, nor burn its seal or stuff like that, but it is getting on my nerves and it is not stopping.

The insistence on merging (whatever that is) is based on showing me skills or sharpening my senses, but I smell trickery and I am not trusting as I have not asked for this.

Any suggestions, friends? (plis)

The first and best thing you can do is get some divination done by someone who is open to black magick and demonic evocation, and see what they have to say.

IF - and only if - it’s not “Get this spirit out of your life NOW” then you have other options:

Would that be so bad? I’m in a lifetime pact with a male spirit of that nature (not from the Goetia, mind you) - it works for me.

History recounts hundreds of examples of people in almost every culture who “married” or became concubines, Masters/Mistresses or lovers of spirits… just asking.

If it assumed that shape, you could offer it a one-year trial marriage in which you’d need to specifiy it doesn’t drive off or harm other women (assuming you’re interested in that) and outline various other terms that suit you (DON’T rush into that part) and then make it clear that if the spirit breaks those terms, it will be burning-sigil time and you’ll never call upon it again.

I’m only saying this because you already know of the paradigms whereby you should always be in command over the spirit, snap your fingers and it MUST vanish etc., but there are other approaches - a lot of that stuff relies on the idea that all spirits want to drag us down into hell, and that their opinion is never to be trusted.

I’m just outlining a different route it could take, and in any event getting some divination done should be your first move, IMO anyway.

It could be that you need to get rid of the spirit from your life permanently, or, it could be any other thing, including stuff like what I outlined above.

Thank you for your prompt reply LadyEva :smiley:

But Hell yeah it would be a terrible thing! D: Mostly because I did not ask for it and I personally feel disgusted by the idea of pursuing any romantic interests at all. I gave up a long time ago and as a result I have developed trust issues with the opposite gender.

I do not blame women for my failures, mind you, or hold a grudge against that part of the human kind (that would be selfish and silly). The problem is that I become irate the moment one shows interest in me. I guess it is just a reaction out of fear of going through trouble again.

Nevertheless, I also feel that having any such relationship with a spirit feels awfully cheap. It feels as if I chose the “easy” way since I could not stop scarying women away and decided to buy an Afghan girl because her parents were more than happy to have a new goat or radio. It does not feel right, feels based on necessity rather than genuine affection.

And while I know that no demonic entity is interested in stealing souls or whatever Hollywood-esque bullshit anyone can name, this “lol I possess u” got way out of hand, especially since all the reasons I could get the spirit to state were “it will be fun” and “I love you” or some other clingy response.

In the end I’ve banished it until new notice and understood that possession only happens when the operator cannot let go (even if subconsciously) of the entity. I did banishings, stopped giving any attenttion to the matter and it solved by itself.

It saddens me, but oh well, seems you cannot have god damn equality between yourself and the Goetian spirits. Seems they are psychologically set upon master-slave relations or something. Really, I welcomed them as friends to the point I began calling (at least this one) brothers because I firmly believed that bossying them was plain wrong. Seems I will have to be more forceful.

Fair enough - the idea of those little hoofed legs wrapped in fishnet stockings does nothing for ya, eh? :slight_smile:

Just teasing!! Your post gave me a vision of like this nightmare drag-queen, “Bloody hell, can’t get him any other way - where’s the falsies?”

It sounds like you made the right choice for your circs if you didn’t find the idea attractive, and if they just kept being annoying.

Someone who doesn’t respect your wishes and concerns is hardly the ideal partner, be they human, spirit or whatever: and, more than with humans, the idea of that kind of alliance with a spirit is one of MUTUAL benefit, not just romantic lust and a brief period of pheromonal attraction, so that’s a very bad start.

I don’t know what the difference is, but with respect (as in, not trying to contradict your experiences) that just hasn’t been my experience at all.

Based on the fact I had a Child with one, they had an easy entrance into my life to try and take over, and yet that didn’t happen at all - we seem to have (without wishing to tempt fate) a legit professional kind of relationship, with no boundaries being pushed or anything.

So I don’t think it’s always true with them, although I wouldn’t care to try and guess what the dividing line is - maybe I’m just a colossal bitch!?

Seriously, I do think this difference of experience is important, and that people need to find the right methods based on their actual interactions and how they turn out, and not on philosophy alone.

We all bring so much stuff to magick and I believe that spirits, demonic or otherwise, can see things that are normally closed off to us, and that from that they decide how they want to try to relate to us.

OH WHY DID I LAUGH SO MUCH AT THAT. Thank you! :smiley:

No, I understand that many people have a lot of different experiences, I was just stating how stuff was working on my end :slight_smile: Hell, I was really irked that most that I evoked/invoked was not very happy to meet me, and then this? Lol, I am a walking arcane clusterfuck.

But in any case I had to share to compare experiences. Thank you for your help LadyEva :smiley: