Lake of Silence and Astaroth
“I loved you once: perhaps that love has yet
To die down thoroughly within my soul…”
Perhaps this quote can characterize the relationship between Attakeria and Astaroth. And I say this for the reason that I seem to have learned a little more about their relationship while Attakeria was in the spirit world. But this became known to me thanks to King Paimon, since Astaroth does not really want to talk about relationships before “human life”.
But these sudden details were not opened at the Hall of Knowledge, and a new location, which I called the Lake of Silence. Several times King Paimon took me to a cave in which a lake glowed with a blue or dark blue sheen (apparently, the water in the bowl in the Hall of Knowledge is filled with water from this lake).
In the cave itself there was complete silence, not even the slightest splash of waves was heard. Several times we just watched this lake, but yesterday King Paimon said to go into the water and literally lie on it. I did as he said and seemed to “fall” into the Attakeria’s memories.
Before my eyes, as in the case of the Forgotten temple, fragments of memory quickly flashed like stills from a film. However, these were not faceless images, they were filled with emotions.
But it’s rather strange to feel those emotions that’s seem to be yours and not yours at the same time. You seem to feel that it is yours, but it is very far away, behind some kind of foggy curtain. And you cannot overcome this veil, but you can see only small glimpses of that ancient, I would said, very ancient memory.
I will not even guess when the relationship between these two spirits began. But I felt and saw (albeit vaguely) their rise (I would describe them as “platonic”) and fall (practically I felt the sadness of Attackeria). But, as far as I understand, Attakeria (as King Paimon previously noted) was the initiator of the “break in relations”(and this happened due to his other obligations and principles). But now, apart from his words, I could see it in "memory”.
But the question is, why then Astaroth reappeared in my life? Well, as I wrote earlier, there was a kind of oath between Attakeria and Astaroth, and secondly, if honestly, a tiny flame of sympathy for him is smoldering in the heart of Attakeria.
And, to be honest, it is unlikely that Attakeria will ever be able to fall in love so much and sincerely. As far as I understand, he may feel sympathy, cordiality and other similar feelings, but, apparently, the concept of “hard skin” in a love relationship really suits him perfectly. Maybe I am mistaken in my assumptions, but I feel some kind of internal “moral imperative” that does not allow Attakeria to get too close to other entities (not counting creatures from his world, and possibly angelic beings). There is still some kind of inner alertness in him.
P.S. Nothing is done in vain. And all these fragments of “memories” (and the Forgotten temple, and “battle” and even “relationship”) play a special role in today’s life. The main thing is to understand their meaning, to reach the reason that gave rise to them. But these answers will come only after a further journey into the history of Attakeria’s life.
I also add the image of Astaroth, which I saw in these “memories”. He, of course, differs from the image that I painted earlier, but I tried to convey what I saw in these “visions”.