As the time was nearing and I had just asked for suggestions, I felt that I must go outside…Hell I had been told not to get on here beforehand…yknow, yet…A lot of the time when I am about to do a ritual I will not know what, I’ll just know that it is time. I brought a small sword, one of those military style-not military- straight blade knives, many joints rolled with cinnamon, basil, and the like, a notebook, and a pen. While I was rolling Lilith came and asked “Why are you doing what you’re doing?..”
I said “Because I said so…my intuition tells me to…” I had to hurry outside soon as it would be 2 minutes to midnight… I went outside and proceeded to cut a circle with a pentagram into the ground. I spun holes at where I thought the corners were and placed 5 joints (fairly) upright where I had done so…It was kind of a pain in the ass getting them all lit. I looked up at the moon and said “Curs-ed moon…What do you want from me?!!..”(The moon had sketched me out for years, but I knew that the moon radiates positive as well)
The moon and Belials voice: I want your blood…
Me: You cant have my blood, it is MINE!!!..MINE!!!..All is mine for the taking!!!.. I WILL BE THE ONE TO DECIDE WETHER OR NOT i REINCARNATE…I AM GOD…
I was on my feet and I cut myself with the saw side of my knife, figuring the other side was dull enough that I would overdo it after a few frustrating attempts. Three cuts, and they did bleed. I drank from the most abundant one. I was talking like I was in ritual.
Me:There IS no right or left hand path…All is magick, and the persuit to heaven-something something-hell!!!..
I really didn’t write down shit last night. Pacing in a maddening state, drunk with empowerment, stabbing into the ground with sword and knife, howling at the moon, meditating, rocking around in lotus position, all these things I did. After declaring that it is done, a sinister feeling being came and said that it is done but it is never done. That ritual is constant, like 24/7. Spiritual beings told me that I was not to squander my gifts. That my life would be far from normal…Also I did not intend for this ritual to be demonic, but demons did come and talk to me. But yeah, no separation, even when going back inside to get water which I would also offer along with pink salt and the remainders of the herbs and the like- but I get ahead of myself. Before going back in I was mashing the ground where I had made the circle and pentagram with footwork like that in capoeira. I went back in got the offerings, came back out, and sat under the moon, looking at it, looking back within, that I believe is when the sinister sounding being had told me what he did. After all I would do was done, I took an herbal bath with pink salt, charged with my fire, and the rest of how last night went I must leave out. Except, that I did shed blockages. I still have a lot of inner work to do. Also I noted that the ritual was helping me to combat repetitive OCD barriers. Ritual helps me with that.