Hey BALG,
This may be a long story… I owe a lot of what I experienced to two members here, I will leave their names out of this account and let them come forward if they feel the need to. I know that this is not traditional and some people may find themselves offended while reading this. As it is not my intention to offend, I really don’t give a fuck.
Backstory
Back in Feb. I was having a great PM discussion with one of the members here. We were discussing some of the experiences we had with infernal spirits and the common themes we noticed with one spirit in particular. This member mentioned an initiatory experience with Lucifer and asked me if I wanted the details on how to preform it myself. They told me all of what this initiation could unlock for me, and it sounded right up my ally. Of course I said yes.
It was stressed to me that this would not be easy, it would at times be painful or a bit weird, but in the end I would be taught a great deal by The Bright Morning Star and in doing so I would discover a path, one that may take me many life times of work to fully walk down to actually understand it all.
I began my prep work. I researched Lucifer, I meditated on Lucifer, I did sigil work with Lucifer, I even started making offerings to Lucifer. All in the attempted to better understand Lucifer and to butter him up (i.e. lots of alcohol was involved)
I did my own reading on the ritual to see how it would turn out and to see what I needed to watch out for. It came back fairly positive with a few indications of what I would go through. I decided to get other readings to check my own as this is a big-deal-life-changing-event. I got two other readings from people I trust and they saw what I saw. So I set a date for the evocation and initiation.
This whole initiation revolves around a word. Now hold on, I know that this might sound like a certain “Super Elite Master Mason” we all know so I will put your mind at ease. This word is a short hand for the most basic things that all sentient beings have in common, the lowest common denominator if you will. It allows me to see what I have in common with a spirit and how I can connect with it.
No I am not claiming that I can command every spirit in the universe, nor am I claiming that I am going to summon Papa Legba, Hekate, Adoni, and Satan to form the greatest barber shop quartet in history. This words allows me to see how I can connect with a spirit and what steps [I]I[/I] need to take if I want to connect with it.
So after months and months of prep work I set the date for my evocation. I set it for a weekend in June when I would have the apartment to myself as I have been told that this experience can leave you drained or even cause you to lose consciousness. I wanted to be by myself so I could recuperate if needed be.
I had been looking into the First Gateway of Pacts after a rather confusing conversation with Azazel about it. I found some secrets about it from my own studies and from talking to one of the members here. I settled on using the first gateway for my circle and triangle. I won’t go into the details of why here, but just look at the story a circle and triangle tells in an evocation and you might see why I made this decision.
The Evocation
I began cleaning my temple at 10:00 pm. I swept, washed, and fumigated the room, then banished. I set up the temple following instructions found in Evoking Eternity, preformed the Invocation of Omnipotence, charged the tools with their callings, and then left for an hour and a half to prep myself.
I then mediated on what I was about to do. I felt heavy, as if the weight of this decision was physically weighing me down. I knew that I would ultimately be fine and I would achieve what I wanted, but I also knew that there is really no way to prepare yourself for something like this.
After my mediation I took a shower and prayed to my highest self that I would be made clean and be made equal to the task I set myself to. I then entered my temple a little after 11:30.
I again preformed an Invocation of Omnipotence/Invocation of my Highest Self. I had the seal of Lucifer charged and placed under the incense brazier, once I felt ready I lifted my brazier and opened his seal. I then lit the charcoal disks and heaped incense upon them.
I begin a conjuration I made and found myself speaking words I had not intended. I believe that my higher self took over at that point because I kept talking, switching between English and Barbarous Words.
Say what you will about him, but Lucifer comes quickly. He greeted me with a smile and words that are found during the initiation in the Mormon Temple. I think he thought he was being funny… (Side note, I have noticed that spirits tend to respond to us in a way that both speaks to their nature and ours. I am a fairly lighthearted person so that is why I think he was trying to be funny…ish) I greeted the spirit and asked him for his name and seal to which he properly identified himself as Lucifer.
Then we talked. I asked about this word and the initiation. He told me about the changes that will happen to me physically, mentality, emotionally, enertically, and on the astral. He was really trying to make sure that I fully understood what I was asking for. We talked about the operation of the word and how to properly channel it though my body.
And then I told him to unlock it for me. And then I vomited. I felt a wave of energy move though me and it was potent, I wasn’t ready for it and I vomited…right in front of Lucifer. (good going Orismen)
After I composed myself I asked Lucifer if that was it, he replied that it had begun and that the process would not be fully finished for about 5-8 months depending on how much attention I gave my energetic body. I thanked him and dismissed him, cleaned up and went to bed.
The After Effects
I have been going though a lot of changes and working with Lucifer to utilize and understand all the changes. Often I feel as if something is entering my head, so I drop mind/get into the T/G sync to investigate. It is always Lucifer with other spirits overseeing some work on my energetic body. Upon noticing me noticing him, he always reminds me that I asked for this.
I wake up in the middle of the night realizing that I am in a conversation with my highest self, or some other spirit that is closely related to my highest self. I don’t remember what we have been talking about but I sense the importance of it. I am working on retaining the information…
I see spirits when I am not trying to. This isn’t any Hollywood “I am going crazy cause I can’t tell what is real anymore” kind of thing. I am fully sober and in control of my own mind, I just happen to get a peak behind the curtain sometimes. Mostly I see manifestations of thoughforms that people unconsciously create that influence their lives, but sometimes I see spiritual protectors watching over those who are in their care.
And of course I have been experimenting with the word in evocation. So far I have evoked some Saturnine spirits for help in an area in my life, and Lucifer to help me better understand what is going on. It makes evocation easier because I can see how I can connect with the spirit on multiple levels.
I know I have not been as active on here and this ritual is the reason why. I am dealing with some stuff that is not always pleasant and I don’t want to snap at people. Also a new pathworking has been made available to me though Lucifer, it will be hard but at the end I will have a much stronger connection to my highest self.
So I won’t be posting a whole ton, as much of what I do is now very personal. I will still be here, I love this place, but a lot of what I will be doing now can not be found in any book. Some may look at this and call it mental masturbation, but I will be keeping detailed notes and making sure that what I experience will still allow me to grow and have more control over my life on all levels of reality, and if it does, then I know that I am on the right track. If not, then no shame, I just need to get back on track.
Stay frosty,
Orismen