All this will be personal, so i won’t be answering any questions
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Moved to the Journals category.
22 - 3/27/20
vibrated that sound of silence for more than 20 min.
I felt my heart chakra tingle or maybe this was my upper back as i lie down, i was listening to sacral seed chants and i fall asleep. Maybe Belial was there I think he was or the tree of the qlipha was partially activated. I saw a red phoenix flying in the sky in the astral four days ago so that probably was a good sign of something to come or phenex telling me something along the lines of beginning to initiate naamah
In my dream I feel threatened by some aquaintences, their talking shit like killing me or something. But in that dream I was always fighting
21 - 3/28/20
vibrated this sound of silence in the morning for 10 min. and the 20th around the same time while lying in bed. I feel it. some kind of heat wave energy wells up inside, but its very light. Felt the same feeling as i did yesterday in my upper back/ chest and the heart chakra area.
I don’t remember what I dreamed which was odd, but I think i projected right before i woke up and performed magick, I created a shadow succubus from my intent almost instantly in the image of someone i used to know, orgasmed, but didn’t even nut irl because i moved the energy like a g
19 - 3/29/20
vibrated this sound of silence in bed heavily for 10 min. listened to crown seed chants before falling asleep, knocked out fast
I was in my middle school environment and honestly i was supposed to do magick in the astral but i was surrounded in bitches and i had angel wings so i was just fooling around soarin’ doing dumb shit
3/30/20
I probably should’ve anchored the qlipha initially, but I just had to hit the greenlight on the alchemy.
(11:00pm) I thought if I initiated Naamah I would go to sleep and continue the pathworking in my dreams but I underestimated the energies I would experience. I called Azazel to help me out as I initiated the naamah and he came. so I vibrated naamah and felt a distinct presence enter my root chakra as i lay down in bed. I was tired and thought that I would knock out instantly but that was far from true. I was tossing and turning in my bed listening to subconscious merger frequency and it was too much. Naamahs energies were swirling around so subtlety and not so subtlety that it was very difficult to sleep.
I think I heared naamahs voice, but the whole time i thought my mind was playing tricks on me, sorry naamah
(3:00am) still awake
(5:00am)I don’t remember much of what i was dreaming. I do remember being in a large bathroom in some facility, shit was a labyrinth oh shit i remember now. I was at my college with my friends and shit and they were planning on heading somewhere, ( i was lying on a meeting table for some reason) and i stood up and just walked out. ran into an old acquaintance and now were taking a long ass piss and now this bathroom was lit, I was walking down this long hall and there were women using the urinals, and lots of women just casually doing there thing in a male bathroom.
I was talking to azazel about how I’m always in my feelings, beating myself up over all the mistakes in my life, but he told me accept and embrace all my fuckups, and all my mistakes. And when i did, in that moment i felt really good for once, if i never fucked up real hard I would’ve never met Belial and been on this path. Hopefully I can really 100% move on, theres always thoughts on what I could’ve been these past 4 years, but i got to make it up to myself right fucking now
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3/31/20
naamah x11
I feel an energy rush up through my spine and energy centers and enter my third eye, distinctly feel subtle body activate
gamaliel x11
I feel like theres a river inside of me and prominent energy around the base of my skull
samael x11
no change, lower left back twitched a couple times, heart chakra tingling
gharab tzerek x11 - 4hz Bi, 4hz Mono
this time i went to lie down and put the headphones on to focus on the energies, i felt 3-4 big jolts around my root chakra and sacral, kinda like heavy earthquakes and vibrations emanating from there that i really felt
thagirion x11 - 4hz Bi. 4hz Mono
again i see a pattern emanating from my root, but i started to focus on my awareness to my body and feel distinct waves and jolts in my solar plexus and these seem to solidify as i pay attention to my vibrations towards each syllable
golahob x11 - 4hz Bi, 4hz Mono
no change, just lower sacral waves
agshekeloh x11 - 4hz Bi, 4hz Mono
no change, i need to do this on a solid ground floor instead of a bed because the energies are there, just really inconsistent
ill carry the energies, build, and hold myself accountable for one month, then I’ll release them on the 31st of april
Nahemoth
I woke up in one of my old apartments, everything is black and white, it feels eerie, but outside seems desolate, its dark out. I didn’t know who I was, but two of my friends were with me, they tried talking to me but I couldn’t understand them, I was smoking a joint and very disoriented and displeased. Next thing I know I’m all alone, felt like I was abandoned, wish my friends woud’ve taken me with them. I move couches and pick up a peculiar antique seemed very ancient and draconic, and would morph but it seemed to change as i looked into it, it was kind of like a mirror or chakra oscillator, saw a dragon moving upwards to the crown it was pretty cool. I finished joint without even sharing it, fuck i’m such an asshole, i regret not sharing it. One of my friends ended up being Lucifer, and he left very quickly, he told me I was indeed in nahemoth and that everything i experienced there was real. I plan to visit all of them within the next few weeks
Samael - 2/14/2021
This was the most peculiar journey yet, I believe I had to travel through many places to get here (randomness warning)
I found myself playing games through an apparatus as an orb, then moving places to a bunk bed and climbing on top of it somehow to moving into a world of flowing lights.
next thing I know I’m in a moving golf cart and I’m looking towards my left and theres a bunch of people and kids running and then as I’m going up hill I hear a bunch of singing and now im in 3rd person view watching and listening to a screamo pop punk band and the music is actually really dope, i enjoyed it alot, but I can’t remember a single thing.
I asked Hecate the night before to grant me a perfect astral body, she didn’t grant me one. Its dark out now transitioned places, its now my elementary school playground and I meet my aunt there, she was being so nice to me and I was just being so rude. I thought since I was moving around perfectly she could be Hecate, but she told me that wasnt her, not sure if I should believe her.
I ended up needing to extract piss somehow then it turned into iced coffee and I had to keep it safe, then im transported somewhere else, i believe my middle school, then to an auditorium/hospital. This is where some pretty fucked up shit happened and I can’t really remember what happened
Then I’m at my university in a dorm with altered architecture in a brand new environment, by the beach, can’t remember what I was talking about here to, I might just have to end it here and fill the rest later
Herab Serapel 2/15/2021
What felt like 10 minutes on the kliffa took about 5 hours in real life
It was pitch black outside and I was watching a movie with two other girls, but one of them was a lesbian and kinda cool looking, she was my friend and I was interested in the other girl, i can’t remember what we were watching, but I was tryna get at her but she was interested in the other chick I was pissed. so i asked belial for some assistance, he did nothing. so i went upstairs and went into a dark room and i don’t know I was trying to text someone, but i sent the text to the wrong person, i tried to undo it but my phone shut off, then i tried to turn on the lights and the wouldn’t come on, i should’ve been scared, but i wasn’t
now im in a high rise and its sunny it was like a penthouse and i was hanging out with people i didn’t know, and i remember i was smoking weed and felt so faded
I can’t really say i feel much after initiating this kliffa, gamaliel changed me alot i believe possibly by the fact i actually felt something, which was absolute disgust for myself, but hopefully ill start to understand more as I go along, thagirion tonight
Thagirion 2/26/21
Everytime I was ripped out of my body felt like I was betrayed, there was dark possession involved and was very painful, I felt like there was something I had to do or a job and it kept repeating in a timeloop, I never understood
I wake up and go back to bed, now its cloudy outside and there are a bunch of people at my house in the living room watching a show, this time it was extra badass, hated the way my hair looked, so much other shit went down but can’t talk about it
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Golacheb 2/27/21
1st wake i was at an awards show, very dark but no reason why anyone should be there, i was complimenting this fitness guy on some bullshit because any guy wouldn’t be doing that but he was shredded af so i did.
2nd wake - Its like 4:34 and I don’t remember
3rd wake this was where shit gets creepy, its cloudy outside and im in an exact replica of my house and i couldnt tell wether i was on the astral or mental plane, but it looked too real, had car keys that didn’t belong to me and the car in the garage was different, all of a sudden theres a blunt rolled almost halfway with weed inside in my left hand, this is an indicator of me being not in reality, but i couldn’t tell, i couldn’t roll it, all the weed was falling out and my astral body started to disintegrate from the ground up
this might be a recurring phenomenon for all of you, but it felt like ants were crawling up my feet and I was being buried alive in mud and flies, except I wasn’t actually being buried it was just my body being eaten up from the ground up