Intro
Tomorrow I am turning 22 yrs old and I was reflecting on how far I’ve come, as well as where I’m going. One of the things that got me was my perspective on Evocation from last year to this year.
Here’s some of that reflection:
One
It’s funny how in 2018 I wasn’t feeling evocation that much cause it didn’t seem to be producing results that I desired so in a sense I gave up And it was hidden under the mask of, “I’m just taking a break”.
At the time I think I was working with Demons more than Anything else and I was starting to work with my Godform, Satan.
All of a sudden that stopped and I decided to get into Death Magic and necromancy Even more hardcore than I had before.
This led me to working with the Gods of Death and Met Kalfu for Vodoun.
It’s a doozie what happened next.
My bloodlust and desire to kill Increased with plenty food (enemies) becoming available.
I gave myself over to the Dead, Kalfu, Zandor, and Tokoloshe quite literally sacrificing myself cause in my opinion I had no more to lose.
I had no love for my family, other people, etc.
Not covenmates, students, none of that.
Shortly after that sacrificing of Self, Shit went down and people I knew betrayed me.
It always happens after the sacrifice 
I ended up in a weird mental place where I knew I was hurt, but I didn’t care and lashed out.
So I cursed them.
What got to me was the fact that I was called…
A Snake
So I was like,
“Aight. You wanna call me a Snake,you’re gonna see just how snaky I can be motherfucker.”
This evolved into a Weird type of Obsession with Killing through magic which made me love the shit. I dealt damage and made new enemies in the process.
War erupted and it came to a stalemate with no casualties on either side, except friendships I ain’t need.
Two
Recently, I stopped Evoking the Death Gods and worked with Ahriman and The Divs.
And looking back, I see how all this shit changed me in 1 yr.
I went from being a quiet, Unassuming, pretending to be weak, Black Mage…
To being a Powerful, Killing, Death Mage/God in the making and on the rise. My finances are getting better without a job and I am doing what I love whole providing for me and my mom.
Some poverty still remains but I am taking care of that quickly.
I’m still teaching and my students are still Ascending.
I’m watching parts of the World collapse at my hands and overseeing events from the shadows, chuckling to myself as people metaphorically toss popcorn and laugh.
People tend to think that you are a clown and that your life is a circus for their entertainment.
I purposely play the Clown, the Trickster, The Ultimate Deciever because it keeps them distracted from what I’m really doing.
There are more enemies that have arisen and some old ones still live.
But…
If I wasn’t a real one I wouldn’t have so much hate 
I am currently at a standstill, but not stagnant. I am not looking for the next big Spirit thrill, but I am preparing myself…for something.
I apparently have nothing left to sacrifice, and nothing g left to lose. So the question is…
What’s next?
Three
Today feels weird.
Almost like a Death and Rebirth. My last day being 21 and the first day of a New life at 22.
Things are ramping up in the spiritual and I am gaining a critical mass.
I don’t know what’s gonna happen.
I may die
I may live
But either way I am gonna succeed. In life.
In Killing People.
Period.
Evocation changes you. It works. Things happen and blossom eventually. You just gotta keep pushing, despite the bullshit. Despite people. Despite your own self.
Magic is real. The Gods are real. YOU are real.
Here’s to Starting a new journey of Darkness, Death, Murder, and Blood 
Toasts To Self and Spirits
Micah/Satan/The Embodiment of Your Hate,
Out 
End
