My apologies and see you soon in the flames

Hello.

I know none of you from Adam. However, it has come to my attention that someone has cursed me. You can save yourself the energy involved in it, and call it off, or dont, as I am about to commit suicide. Since I’ll be going to hell, you’ll soon see me.
My apologies in my bad talking of others and views, what can I say, I am human - or soon was.

Your Frater to be in hell soon,

Fuego - Douglas James Cameron

I don’t know if you are being serious or not.

I remember you posting on R.O.'s wall that this place went downhill once everyone was crying about being cursed all the time. So you may be attempting your hand at humor, I hope not because suicide is not a laughing matter.

How ever if you are serious I extend my sympathies to you. You are dealing with serious SHIt, as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts often I know a bit of what you are going through. I know that I don’t know your situation and I am not in your head, I only know what it is like to have a gun placed to your temple as your trigger finger trembles.

Please get help. Call the suicide hotline, think of your beautiful family. You can get through this man, if you want I will do a reading for you to see if you are cursed and what you can do to remedy it.

Please do not kill yourself, you are worth it.

Orismen

[quote=“Orismen, post:2, topic:3071”]I don’t know if you are being serious or not.

I remember you posting on R.O.'s wall that this place went downhill once everyone was crying about being cursed all the time. So you may be attempting your hand at humor, I hope not because suicide is not a laughing matter.

How ever if you are serious I extend my sympathies to you. You are dealing with serious SHIt, as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts often I know a bit of what you are going through. I know that I don’t know your situation and I am not in your head, I only know what it is like to have a gun placed to your temple as your trigger finger trembles.

Please get help. Call the suicide hotline, think of your beautiful family. You can get through this man, if you want I will do a reading for you to see if you are cursed and what you can do to remedy it.

Please do not kill yourself, you are worth it.

Orismen[/quote]

Also you will have to come back and do this life again!

G

[quote=“DouglasJamesCameronFuego, post:1, topic:3071”]Hello.

I know none of you from Adam. However, it has come to my attention that someone has cursed me. You can save yourself the energy involved in it, and call it off, or dont, as I am about to commit suicide. Since I’ll be going to hell, you’ll soon see me.
My apologies in my bad talking of others and views, what can I say, I am human - or soon was.

Your Frater to be in hell soon,

Fuego - Douglas James Cameron[/quote]

try the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram. It worked
for me. Really well actually.
It’s on YouTube. On EA koetting’s channel.

I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.

[quote=“Orismen, post:5, topic:3071”]I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.[/quote]

I agree for the most part. I will say that I have turned to some of the NAP angels in periods of crushing depression and was delivered within hours from my pain. I wouldn’t be flinging energy around/doing rituals, but I think turning to some of the more benevolent spirits right now might be worth doing. Prayer and invocation are seriously underrated. Here’s a prayer I found that might be useful:

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

OP, I wish you all the best right now. I second Orismen’s suggestion for getting professional help. This kind of shit can be overcome, you just need to take it one minute at a time. The wise man Trent Reznor once said, “The only way out is through” (ok, it was Robert Frost. Still an amazing song xD).

[quote=“Orismen, post:2, topic:3071”]I don’t know if you are being serious or not.

I remember you posting on R.O.'s wall that this place went downhill once everyone was crying about being cursed all the time. So you may be attempting your hand at humor, I hope not because suicide is not a laughing matter.

How ever if you are serious I extend my sympathies to you. You are dealing with serious SHIt, as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts often I know a bit of what you are going through. I know that I don’t know your situation and I am not in your head, I only know what it is like to have a gun placed to your temple as your trigger finger trembles.

Please get help. Call the suicide hotline, think of your beautiful family. You can get through this man, if you want I will do a reading for you to see if you are cursed and what you can do to remedy it.

Please do not kill yourself, you are worth it.

Orismen[/quote]

Thanks, thank you much.

It wasn’t a joke, it hit me all of a sudden and I wanted to kill myself, whether walking in front of cars, jumping from heights, etc. I go to Paneras to try and get away and clear my head, and from second one, people were pissing me off. I was not quiet about my feelings there and was ok with being viewed as a lunatic. Someone made a comment that pissed me off so bad, I said “Fine, you cant leave a person alone when theyre obviously afflicted, fuck you, since angels and elementals dont talk to me, perhaps a demon will and have you fuckers for a tasty snack”, I start to chant the words aloud, nada happens. Frustrated at laughter more and more, I had it, I went and found a deserted (semi anyway, some asshole followed me until I shouted “I’m suicidal and therefore dont give a shit if I take someone with me. Go the fuck away or I’ll find you and take you with me”. Someone started running off.
So I sat there, screaming at God and getting no answer. I hated absolutely everything and everyone. I sat watching trucks pass and getting ready for a leap, then thought about what it would do to the driver and other ones behind them. I then didnt want someone else to die as well. I shouted at God to give him two days to show me what worth I have as a person, in a way that doesnt come from anyone else or heard in any way what I went through. I finally left, defeated, and went and scarfed down a qp meal (I have to force myself to eat sometimes these days). I get home and my annoying neighbors (annoying because I have had no sex with anyone I care about lately, and they get it on every night, and I sniped comments back at whoever at their party was talking smack, finally wrote an apology, stuck it under their door and felt someone grab it and seconds later laughter.
I then called a friend and my sister to tell them what I was going through, they helped me get to a place of calm. I just hate how fake people are or can be – only animals as far as I’ve seen exhibit authentic feelings and behavior.

Anywy, fww, thanks - I’m still running on low but feeling good enough to talk to anyone now – I am such an introvert that when I get hurt or pissed off, I dont want to hear or see a single human being, just to find space and decompress. So again, thanks.

Fuego

[quote=“DouglasJamesCameronFuego, post:7, topic:3071”][quote=“Orismen, post:2, topic:3071”]I don’t know if you are being serious or not.

I remember you posting on R.O.'s wall that this place went downhill once everyone was crying about being cursed all the time. So you may be attempting your hand at humor, I hope not because suicide is not a laughing matter.

How ever if you are serious I extend my sympathies to you. You are dealing with serious SHIt, as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts often I know a bit of what you are going through. I know that I don’t know your situation and I am not in your head, I only know what it is like to have a gun placed to your temple as your trigger finger trembles.

Please get help. Call the suicide hotline, think of your beautiful family. You can get through this man, if you want I will do a reading for you to see if you are cursed and what you can do to remedy it.

Please do not kill yourself, you are worth it.

Orismen[/quote]

Thanks, thank you much.

It wasn’t a joke, it hit me all of a sudden and I wanted to kill myself, whether walking in front of cars, jumping from heights, etc. I go to Paneras to try and get away and clear my head, and from second one, people were pissing me off. I was not quiet about my feelings there and was ok with being viewed as a lunatic. Someone made a comment that pissed me off so bad, I said “Fine, you cant leave a person alone when theyre obviously afflicted, fuck you, since angels and elementals dont talk to me, perhaps a demon will and have you fuckers for a tasty snack”, I start to chant the words aloud, nada happens. Frustrated at laughter more and more, I had it, I went and found a deserted (semi anyway, some asshole followed me until I shouted “I’m suicidal and therefore dont give a shit if I take someone with me. Go the fuck away or I’ll find you and take you with me”. Someone started running off.
So I sat there, screaming at God and getting no answer. I hated absolutely everything and everyone. I sat watching trucks pass and getting ready for a leap, then thought about what it would do to the driver and other ones behind them. I then didnt want someone else to die as well. I shouted at God to give him two days to show me what worth I have as a person, in a way that doesnt come from anyone else or heard in any way what I went through. I finally left, defeated, and went and scarfed down a qp meal (I have to force myself to eat sometimes these days). I get home and my annoying neighbors (annoying because I have had no sex with anyone I care about lately, and they get it on every night, and I sniped comments back at whoever at their party was talking smack, finally wrote an apology, stuck it under their door and felt someone grab it and seconds later laughter.
I then called a friend and my sister to tell them what I was going through, they helped me get to a place of calm. I just hate how fake people are or can be – only animals as far as I’ve seen exhibit authentic feelings and behavior.

Anywy, fww, thanks - I’m still running on low but feeling good enough to talk to anyone now – I am such an introvert that when I get hurt or pissed off, I dont want to hear or see a single human being, just to find space and decompress. So again, thanks.

Fuego[/quote]

While I am apologizing for what I’ve done, I want to extend a personal apology to each and every one of you - I have said nasty things about Eric and his group, sometimes publicly. I really am sorry, all you folks are quite all right, quite the reverse of what I thought an evil mage would be like :slight_smile:
Any such comments simply came from a place of ignorance, fear, years of christian (deformed) programming, years of TV programming, and bitterness in general. Again, my apologies.

a good sleep always works for depression… i hope you get what you are looking for on the other side. cheers

all these supportive texts wernt here when i posted my shit. man now i sound like the douch, lol

[quote=“Godesslives, post:3, topic:3071”][quote=“Orismen, post:2, topic:3071”]I don’t know if you are being serious or not.

I remember you posting on R.O.'s wall that this place went downhill once everyone was crying about being cursed all the time. So you may be attempting your hand at humor, I hope not because suicide is not a laughing matter.

How ever if you are serious I extend my sympathies to you. You are dealing with serious SHIt, as someone who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts often I know a bit of what you are going through. I know that I don’t know your situation and I am not in your head, I only know what it is like to have a gun placed to your temple as your trigger finger trembles.

Please get help. Call the suicide hotline, think of your beautiful family. You can get through this man, if you want I will do a reading for you to see if you are cursed and what you can do to remedy it.

Please do not kill yourself, you are worth it.

Orismen[/quote]

Also you will have to come back and do this life again!

G[/quote]

@godesslives i think this is right…where you get that info?i’m curious

[quote=“DouglasJamesCameronFuego, post:1, topic:3071”]Hello.

I know none of you from Adam. However, it has come to my attention that someone has cursed me. You can save yourself the energy involved in it, and call it off, or dont, as I am about to commit suicide. Since I’ll be going to hell, you’ll soon see me.
My apologies in my bad talking of others and views, what can I say, I am human - or soon was.

Your Frater to be in hell soon,

Fuego - Douglas James Cameron[/quote]

Don’t you dare give in. Don’t you fucking dare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg49btmBAeA

[quote=“Orismen, post:5, topic:3071”]I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.[/quote]

Hi Orismen, Thank you. I’ve told my family about it, a homeless guy that I know now through another homeless friend, my ex-girlfriend and all of you :slight_smile: I’m much better, my neighbors still act like bitches to me so I’ve written them off of any care about them.
It was all a head, feelings of low self worth, feelings of helplessness, frustration, erectile dysfunction, losing a contract due to gossip, and feeling like a failure at 45 with no children, no house, no accomplishments that I could see at the time. After talking with several people, all of them told me I had worth.
As for why I thought I was cursed, even in a good mood some dogs would be violent, flocks of crows following me consistently for days even so many that the sky appeared moving and dappled, feeling phsically sick, and mentally sick, not feeling appreciated or accepted by many ‘friends’ of mine.
I guess most of these I could write off as a symptom array of a curse, but it all seemed strange when it came at me at once.

Anyway, thank you all again, I still want to live, it just seems apparent to me now that I have to clean out my life and get to where I need to be to be happy.

Thanks all - I love you all. :slight_smile:

[quote=“Orismen, post:5, topic:3071”]I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.[/quote]

Yep, after my job interview, going to talk with my doctor about celexa 3 month supply, talk to my landlord requesting more time to make the rent, file a new claim for UIA for all back time when I’ve been unemployed. Those ought to get me moving in the right direction. Thanks :slight_smile:

[quote=“Poete Maudit, post:12, topic:3071”][quote=“DouglasJamesCameronFuego, post:1, topic:3071”]Hello.

I know none of you from Adam. However, it has come to my attention that someone has cursed me. You can save yourself the energy involved in it, and call it off, or dont, as I am about to commit suicide. Since I’ll be going to hell, you’ll soon see me.
My apologies in my bad talking of others and views, what can I say, I am human - or soon was.

Your Frater to be in hell soon,

Fuego - Douglas James Cameron[/quote]

Don’t you dare give in. Don’t you fucking dare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg49btmBAeA[/quote]
Yep - in the words of Dana Carvey impersonating Bush, ‘not guna do it’.
Today opened my eyes at an Easter service, some words kinda hit me, the homeless guy that talked me up, talking with my dad - the one person who I didnt want to talk to about it to not rattle him, he approached me first and made me promise to talk to him whenever I needed help. I love all the acceptance. :slight_smile:

[quote=“blacklamb, post:6, topic:3071”][quote=“Orismen, post:5, topic:3071”]I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.[/quote]

I agree for the most part. I will say that I have turned to some of the NAP angels in periods of crushing depression and was delivered within hours from my pain. I wouldn’t be flinging energy around/doing rituals, but I think turning to some of the more benevolent spirits right now might be worth doing. Prayer and invocation are seriously underrated. Here’s a prayer I found that might be useful:

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

OP, I wish you all the best right now. I second Orismen’s suggestion for getting professional help. This kind of shit can be overcome, you just need to take it one minute at a time. The wise man Trent Reznor once said, “The only way out is through” (ok, it was Robert Frost. Still an amazing song xD).[/quote]

Thanks blacklamb! I’ll work with this today as well.

[quote=“DouglasJamesCameronFuego, post:16, topic:3071”][quote=“blacklamb, post:6, topic:3071”][quote=“Orismen, post:5, topic:3071”]I would seek professional help first. One really shouldn’t preform magic rituals while depressed, it will most likely make it worse.

Please Douglas, get help first.[/quote]

I agree for the most part. I will say that I have turned to some of the NAP angels in periods of crushing depression and was delivered within hours from my pain. I wouldn’t be flinging energy around/doing rituals, but I think turning to some of the more benevolent spirits right now might be worth doing. Prayer and invocation are seriously underrated. Here’s a prayer I found that might be useful:

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

OP, I wish you all the best right now. I second Orismen’s suggestion for getting professional help. This kind of shit can be overcome, you just need to take it one minute at a time. The wise man Trent Reznor once said, “The only way out is through” (ok, it was Robert Frost. Still an amazing song xD).[/quote]

Thanks blacklamb! I’ll work with this today as well.[/quote]

So glad to hear it! Easter is a damn good time for this sort of work, and I’m 100% positive you’re going to be glad you sought out help instead of giving into the pain, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

I’m not sure if Celexa is going to be your first SRI or not, but I just wanted to mention not to give up if it doesn’t’ seem to work for you. Took me a few years before I found the meds I needed, but it is so worth it, the day you realize you finally feel like yourself again. I definitely wish you all the best ^^.

You are not cursed, you just cant tap in the wider and deeper of your spirituality. Talk to Kasiel, Archangel of Saturn. You can thank me when you get better.

Friend-

Depression is not a good thing to be in. Take it from someone who dealt with it the first fifteen years of their life. I know where you are coming from and have flirted with suicide since the age of seven.

If it is a curse causing this, it can be broken. If it is a person, they can be broken. If it is a spirit, they too can be broken.

Life is not what you make, it’s what you break. If something is in your way, kill it. No matter how large it is.

Do not relinquish power because something has made suicide seem like the only choice.

Turn the tide.

-Observer

[quote=“Observer, post:19, topic:3071”]Friend-

Depression is not a good thing to be in. Take it from someone who dealt with it the first fifteen years of their life. I know where you are coming from and have flirted with suicide since the age of seven.

If it is a curse causing this, it can be broken. If it is a person, they can be broken. If it is a spirit, they too can be broken.

Life is not what you make, it’s what you break. If something is in your way, kill it. No matter how large it is.

Do not relinquish power because something has made suicide seem like the only choice.

Turn the tide.

-Observer[/quote]

Right on bro … thanks. I’m much better now, on meds and have things working a bit in my favor, even though they say not to do any magic under a imbalanced state, I’ve been doing plenty of invocations and prayers this week, seems to be working a bit … thank you though - take care my friend.

Fuego