Misery might be my only option

Everyone on here, including me have all learned or experienced that if you change your mindset from a negative point of view to a positive one, your environment and everything around you will start to change as well. However for my case years ago I always had this concept or problem bring about when I do start to think positively: my happiness will cause everyone else to suffer and to make things right, I have to be miserable to make everything in the world better. I have been in a sort of gloomy state lately and I want to change, but with the way the world is going in 2020, my positive state of mind might help bring total calamity. So in order to help bring an end to all the madness, I might have to make myself become what the internet calls a “doomer”. I’m not sure if this is the best route to go for me or this might be something I have to banish out of my subconscious. It kinda worries me.

you will only descend into madness if you go that route.

Sometimes, things that make you happy make other people upset. As an adult, you get to chose your relationships, so if people around you are making incompatible life choices, it is time to cut your losses and move on. I will give you a simple example, say one person A wants a red wall, and another person B wants a green wall, if the wall is red, person A gets the red wall, they will be happy and B will be sad, while if B gets the green wall, B will be happy and A will be sad. The solution is they should separate and quit having to share that wall. And honestly, if the color of that wall is so important to each of them, but they have a different vision of what color it should be, they don’t belong together in the first place.


That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that I feel that my happiness causes bad luck. I fear that if I do change my mindset, meet my higher self and start to live my best life possible, COVID-19 might wipe out 90% of the world’s population or a race war will start in America, but if I become in a depressive state to the brink of suicide, COVID-19 will disappear and so will racism in America, all because I have to sacrifice my well being.

Sorry, dude, but if any of use were that strong with just mindset changes, none of these issues would exist. We’d all be rich and off doing what we want.

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So what should I do?

Start daily meditation to help balance your emotions out.

In the end, you’re the only person that has to live with you every minute of every day, for the rest of your life.


Will that be enough though? Also which kind of meditation should I do? There are so many types.

I believe there are some suggestions in the “beginner tutorials” area. If not, use the search function for it. There have been a lot of posts about the “black flame” meditations. Maybe that will get you started.

Are black flame meditations safe for beginners though? Or should I find ways of depolarizing myself instead?

Don’t over think it, man. You gotta start somewhere, perfect or not, or you’ll never actually get anywhere. The links are easy to find and it’s not fluffy-bunny
territory. Otherwise, find something else as a meditation start. the important part is doing it regularly.


I’ll try my best, hopefully.

It takes persistent effort. Nobody knows where you’re starting from, maybe even you, so give yourself some time to really start to see results.

I’m not hardcore into Thelema anymore, and I have moved beyond a lot of Crowley’s stuff, but I still love this passage from the book of the Law, and I thought it would be relevant here.

Chapter 2 (Hadit) , verse 21

  1. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.

Now, as someone who has in, a pact asked for something, that to be realistic about it is is going to demand lots of structural changes in how certain aspects of society operate, I understand that some people might get hurt, or even die prematurely. The COVID 19, has killed some people, but to be honest, I’m not sure that old people living a few less years in the nursing home is some great tradgedy. It isn’t just in how long a person lives, quality is also important. Don’t take that the wrong way, I cared for my grandma with dementia until she died, and I did not try to speed things up or slow them down. If things continue on as they are now instead, I understand that some people will also die, most likely due to feelings of powerlessness or despair. (like some people I know)

When we preform magick, it is in the place of GOD. At first I thought, I’m not god I’m just a regular person who does stuff like eat sleep breathe etc. I also felt that maybe that would be to limiting and I would have to bow down to the will of some snotty god figure, and I wasn’t interested in it. But that isn’t what is meant. We have to stop judging the results of the requests by some human standards, like killing people is bad, murder is bad. I didn’t just break into people’s house and kill them in their sleep. Also I’m not some kind of micro manager, looking at each person, like the angels in the bible, and deciding to skip people with the xs in lambs blood on the door and killing the first born sons of the rest or something.

So when I make requests, I don’t want anyone in my immediate family to be harmed, I don’t want my property (or my parents property)damaged ruined or destroyed. But people should include their own choices about what is important to them. If you don’t care about things, maybe you don’t care about your personal property. Or maybe you wouldn’t mind if certain family members met an early death. (even though you aren’t trying to curse them.) so you can just leave it out.

No, just no.

Even if your perceived vision was true, why would you care?

Be happy, fuck everyone else.

It’s not your responsibility to have your energy siphoned of by others , only people can change themselves , if not , leave ,

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Do you want to stay a victim ? Transmutate your suffering into wisdom , and wisdom into creation


This is one of the most pathetic things I’ve read. What makes you think you are relevant enough, on the macro-cosmic scale, to induce that sort of reaction? And why would you sacrifice yourself for a mass of nobodies and a subjective moral cause? That is just illogical. Life is not a Steven Spielberg film.

And you won’t commit suicide either because of your ego and programming.

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You’re right it is pathetic but that tends to happen when you have a depressive personality.

You need to be reading books on the philosophy of stoicism, not lingering on here. It will be more beneficial for you.

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