Mind_Seeker: General Notes/Thoughts and Dream Journal:

February 15th, 2021:

Finally getting back into practicing scanning, which after clairsentience, and tarot seem to be my strongest skills thus far. All three still need work and practice, but they seem to come most naturally to me. Will update more.

February 24th, 2021:

Just random thoughts that went through my mind-

Based on my observations, meditations, etc etc…I’ve come to believe that there is alittle truth behind everything. Even if that truth has been muddied over for centuries/etc. The way I see it, (my personal gnosis) is that everyone understands a piece of the same puzzle. What I mean by this is, I’ve noticed everyone believes their own things, witnesses/has different experiences…and I bet if you were able to look at the bigger picture (of reality/etc) it’s all small pieces to the same puzzle.

Another thing I believe is that, when communing with spirits/spiritual forces - your only given (information/gnosis/etc) what you can take and certain information might be presented in a different albeit true manner per situation/person. Like for instance, if someone’s mind is narrow/not open, then instead of handing them information/gnosis as is (within a form their mind won’t understand/believe/handle well), they are instead handed a more “modified/altered” version of the original gnosis/information. One that their mind can understand. Which probably fits why people might be told different things by the same spirit/force/etc. Or have different understandings of the same thing.

Now of course this is all a work in progress (personal gnosis wise) – I’ll update more later.

March 2nd, 2021:

So I had yet another nightmare last night, my last one was 2 days ago. The nightmares are always graphic/gory, usually life/death situations, always VIVID, and I always wake up feeling super uneasy - like I have a hard time realizing I’m awake and not within the nightmare anymore, although I do know I’m awake, more so can’t emotionally disconnect from it

Last night’s dream was a mixture of being assaulted (fuzzy on details of that), stalked by assaulter, trying to call cops and go to hospital to get assessed, as well as some other weird stuff. I ended up within the dream calling/yelling a spirits name once (don’t know why) for help but the dream ended shortly after. Oh and I had been either stabbed in the leg in the dream or something…

March 21st, 2021:

I, within the last few days managed to make a sort of “physical vessel” something similar to how a deity/spirit statue would operate. Since I didn’t have, nor could find a suitable state. I decided to make a picture of the spirit (my lady) and then find a frame for it – with the finished product being a framed picture. I also know that something I MAKE is alot more powerful then someone I buy online.

I got inspiration for the picture I made (made it a sort of portrait of my lady, paying special attention to the eyes :eyes:) from a a dream visitation I had gotten from her awhile back. Within the dream she appeared as a sort of shadow being. Her energy, but an androgynous type of greyish/black shadowy humanoid being is how she decided to present herself to me. Despite that, within the dream I could very much sense it was her. Hard to explain. Now I added the eyes, in the dream she had no facial features… Just a silhouette shadow. Since I know eyes are important. I also made the portrait more feminine, just to help me subconsciously connect to her.

I also made sure to add a hazy grey outline around her, to represent when (within the dream) she took the form of a wind like energy. Before she morphed to the shadowy being. So I wanted to add that, as well as the background being a dark blue. She, I think has connections to water in some way. And her “aura” or presence, well a dark blue fits it.

I think it went well. This wasn’t really a formal “ritual”, more something on the side. Haven’t been doing to much magick, I still do energy and dream work though. This was just something to increase my connection/bond to my lady.

Forgot to add, I put a candle and two stone/crystals in front. The candle… Well because it’s pretty. The crystals because of what each represents/etc individually and how that personally connects to my relationship with my lady.

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March 22, 2021:

Just recording a old dream I had when I was young

The dream starts out with me in a dark basement, couldn’t see anything. There was a hatch (one of those floor hatch doors) door as the only exit from the basement, which a single set up stairs would lead up too. Besides that, unless you opened the hatch door – you couldn’t see anything.

I was waiting for her to be gone. (When I first started receiving dream visitations/communications from my lady) Then within the dream I snuck up the stairs, and slowly opened the hatchet. Inside the cabin (1st floor) it was bright, everything was nicely arranged/clean. The hatchet must have been near the kitchen/dining room area of the cabin. There were big windows that let in alot light from outside.

Since I didn’t see her, I immediately climbed out, and proceeded to run out the cabin. I didn’t look back. Was in flight mode. I ran and ran, through alot of woody/deep forestry areas. Within the dream, I was trying to make as much distance between myself and the cabin/her as possible.

When night fell, I camped in the woods. Seemed alittle calmer. Still was alert. Not sure where I was trying to go (but was a dream anyways). The next day I kept running, eventually coming too a large pond. I after thinking it would help cover my scent/tracks dove in and swam through the pond all the way to the other side. The water was cold, but I didn’t feel it. I was gaining more confidence.

Eventually I then again came to a road. Which is when out of no where a cloudy grey fog/mist started to appear over the land/road/area. She then appeared out of the fog (?) And grabbed me. Clearly was angry.

The dream ends with me back in the basement, and the hatchet closing again. Darkness.

The cabin was basically in the middle of no where, no civilization nearby

@Mephisto this is the dream I was talking about. Description of the general area seem similar?

The dream happened 10+ years ago but I remember it like yesterday which is a pattern for most dreams from/about her. They don’t happen back to back… Usually months/years apart but always vivid and a few I’ve been lucid

Yes.

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Okay.

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March 23rd, 2021:

Cycles and Change

So after reading something about pain, and life and growth/relationships in a thread. This got me thinking.

Life is constant change, and cycles. From the micro (biological level, atomic, etc) to the social, mental, emotional, etc --> to the macro… For that just think changes that happen over eons of time. Or compare ants (the bugs) to humans to civilizations to galaxies. That type of thing.

I’m beginning to think that the purpose of life is to experience and move forward/grow/evolve. To do that we have to survive, and in the biological level - pass on our genes to the future generations. Then you have growing on the emotional and mental level. Maturity, that type of thing. Experiences can help accelerate growth, or can stunt it.

Then there’s the spiritual level, but that is largely subjective to any certain individual/group of individuals (like religion). Belief plays a big role.

Within life there is constant change, change from baby-toddler-child-adult-elder. Then change from school-college-career-retirememt. Plus the changes within adulthood, and if one chooses parenthood which brings (like any other choice in life) it’s own consequences.

Consequence meaning the reaction to action, or outcome – can be positive or negative

I’ll probably add more to this, for now consider it a part 1, to be continued but those are my current thoughts on cycles and change.

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I’m a genius! Managed to edit some art I made and make a collage!! Took me a bit to figure out, but now I have a good profile pic :slight_smile:

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March 28th, 2021:

Well after months of practicing scans, scrying and various meditations - I think my senses have definitely improved. I still have work to do, and certainly am not ever 100% sure of anything I receive. However I seem to be able to pick up some genuine information at times, which is a good sign. Not all the time, but consistently enough that it can’t just be a coincidence. I think my strongest senses are my clairvoyance, and my clair sentience. As most information seems to come through different types of images, and feelings/vibes. Sometimes the images are faint and other times vivid. Not in the physical sense but in that I can “mentally” see clearly. Hard to describe.

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April 2nd, 2021:

Just making a quick note: last night as I was getting ready to fall asleep, I felt (and I think heard?) something get smacked near me. I also felt the accompanying vibrations through my bed, and felt like it happened at the end of my bed (the bed frame)? Startled me. My dog was with me, but he wasn’t near there and was sleeping. I also wasn’t half asleep yet, so couldn’t have been that. Was also around the time where I became aware of my lady being with me.

Earlier, before I was in my bed I did for a second hear a beep sound in my right ear…besides that, nothing else was off about last night

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Dream: I am apart of you, as you are of me

Notes, was a spirit influenced dream, and was very vivid

In the dream, I was in my room and in my bed. However a few things were different. My bed was a queen size instead of the small twin bed I’m stuck with irl (dream envy xD), plus the window that’s usually in front of my bed (with the head of my bed facing it) was bigger.

It was night in the dream, and I was lying in my bed. Looking outside into the darkness. Then suddenly this grey/wind like energy started forming and swirling outside – then coming in through the window. The energy didn’t break the window when coming in, just went through it. As the energy moved over me to my left - it blew the covers off me. Im not sure how much I was wearing, but I felt “exposed” per say. The energy then morphed into a shadow like androgynous being lying in the bed, to my left.

The being didn’t have any identifying features (no eyes, hair, lips, etc) was just pure grey/black energy. Looked very similar to a shadow being. However I felt a strong feminine vibe coming from the being, which felt very familiar to a spirit I know. The same dark, quiet/serious, feminine vibe. So despite the appearance, I knew the being was female.

The being was to my left, and just sat there. I felt (within the dream) like the being was looking at me, or deep in thought?

The next couple of scenes was my sister and I, which weren’t that relevant, as she and I were just talking - goofing around. But then a scene comes when she is standing in front of a mirror (tall body size mirror) in a room. I’m next to her.

However she felt like she was “possessed” at this point… In the dream the character was her, but it didn’t feel like it was her talking for what comes next, like the being was talking through her

She said, while looking at the mirror (not at me) “I am apart of you, as you are of me”. Which is about when the dream ends.

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Quick Note

I learned a new grounding, energy work - related thing recently from @Maulbeere . So added it to my daily reminders to focus on the Kidney 1 Meridian points, as a basic energy hygiene type of thing. Will also help improve my senses in general over time. Once I feel confident enough with the two feet points, and one other that was mentioned – I’ll find out what other ones to focus on next :slight_smile:

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April 5th-6th Night - Dream Recording:

So I finally got a new dream journal (because I don’t know what I did with my last one…) And got 2 sets of dreams recorded for 2 nights. I thought last night’s (the dream I’m recording right now) dream was interesting. Now I have technically two parts to last night’s dream record. The first dreams are what I had during the night so 10pm-4am. The second set of dreams is what I had after I woke up at 4-5am and went back to sleep, then woke again at 8:30am…

So of course, since I’ve just started out… I had trouble remembering everything although I will make note, as I wrote down what I initially remembered as soon as I awakened - I then started to remember more. My handwriting also suffers apparently when I’m half asleep trying to quickly jot down my dreams, lol.

The first set of dreams
So the first set seemed more like nightmares. I was trying to get away from something, and my sister was with me within the dreams. It took place for the most part in some weird replication of my neighborhood. However my mind got things mostly right. I was trying to quickly walk down streets and even a few alleys to get away from something?

Then the dream scene (the one I remember the best) changed to me and my sister (and maybe my father as well) being within some dark sort of building. We were on some sort of weird staircase and around the staircases were these LAEGE… Knights and various other things. They didn’t look like someone was wearing knight armor, or even a costume. They almost seemed like Large dolls or something? It was weird. I remember as going up the stairs cases and these Odd things were to the left, right and by the doorway I needed to go through feeling VERY uneasy around them. Which I mean was right because they came alive (or maybe was already alive, but just dead still) and tried to grab me.

The staircase was also very dark

Now is when I get to the interesting part. I somehow with my family made it out of there alive, but then these goblin like possessed (I think their eyes were fully black, no whites) children (boys specifically) were trying to run after us as well. They seemed related to the previous Knights and other weird things. They’re voices were low and well, not pretty sounding and their faces were well… Looked like goblins…or something not pretty…

They were animalistic too, grunting and running using maybe both arms and legs when doing so. Got a very bad vibe from them. Since one minute they would look like REGULAR kids, and then like possessed goblin/ugly creatures running after us. They would mostly change when they got close enough to us…maybe since they were close enough to attack?

Second set of dreams last night

The second set of dreams took place in some court like building. Their were people there, citizens and official looking people. Also security personals. I remember my family was trying to leave but I was looking for something… Some character within the dream told me my mother was within a plant, and told me it was hidden within the big court like room. Showed me a picture (looked like one of those old camera photos) and the plant looked like some weird cacti type of plant. The character said that the plant was located “at one of the corners” within the room and there would be a big post near it.

The court room had Lots of corners and posts. Plus people (security) that didn’t want me there. There were also other plants. So most of it was me sneaking around looking at all the corners, avoiding the security and not finding the plant that “contained my mother” (I don’t know where the logic in that was… But then again it’s a dream)…dream ended with me not finding it and thinking someone had taken the plant.