This will be my journal for my ritual/occult work as well as anything spiritual as well. It’s also my main journal I’ll use for recording my thoughts down.
November 18th 2020
So after a bit of uncertainty about Liliths intent with me, I managed (with help) to get some insight into that - and thankfully it wasn’t malevolent. Least her reason for wanting to work with me . However I’m not sure I “fully” understand how the kiss was misplaced help - or her specific intent behind that. Of course my next thing to do is to bring this up to Lilith and talk to her about it. Besides that - all is fine. For the most part. It’s obvious I still have alot of self work to do.
The only issue is I’m still not as adept to communicating to spirits as some folk are. I get basic impressions, vibes, and every now and then some words - but it’s hard to tell if it’s mine or them. I do also get images and can feel their prescence/energy as well.
Another issue I’m aware of, is that there’s a spirit thats been taking energy from me. I don’t think/know if it is my spirit lover or another spirit. I don’t feel malevolent vibes from my spirit lover and I know there’s more then one spirit around. As I was having parasite issues, and other issues as well. So there’s a possibility that I got a parasite lurking about. Not sure. I was instructed to do some construct wards and shielding - which should help with the problem. As well as cleansing.
Also note: yesterday when I was communicating to someone about possible entities around me/in my area I heard a loud noise/and felt as if something hit my bedframe to the side. The fan also seemed like it was hit as it made a noise and seemed like it slightly hit the side of my bed.
It’ll be a HUGE bummer if my lady is the cause of this…I’ve grown quite fond/attached to her emotionally and was quite committed to a long term relationship. So I’m hoping she’s not the issue.
Still working on improving my senses - staying grounded as well. Energy work and of course working with Lady Lilith. Then on mudane side - well working on anxiety/depression and moving forward. Which I am. Slow steps but I’m getting there - I just need to stop fighting change. Which is easier said then done.
I might do another jar spell, since my last one turned out well.