So tonight Belial told me to meet him at the crossroads. Normally it is the opposite. I did.
During my gnosis, Belial revealed to me that there is an entity that even the gatekeepers fear. This entity happens to be one of the entities that has approached me, and even gave me some incantations. I have no idea who or what this entity is, but I do have a name. I do not know if my spelling of the name is correct, but the spelling that feels/sounds/looks right is Mesh’ki’doreth.
Mesh’ki’doreth told me that it is a being who was once a man. This man became a sorcerer that pushed the envelope too far, becoming completely obsessed, and died a horrible death. This man became an angel, then a demon, then a god, and then “something more.”
Tonight, Belial told me that the same entity, Mesh’ki’doreth, is widely feared because it was once a man that became “God.” I don’t know which “God” Belial is referring to, but Belial told me that Mesh’ki’doreth “used” several dark angels, one of whom was Samael, to come to power and nearly “destroyed everything.”
Belial showed me that this Mesh’ki’doreth (if that is the entity’s real name) is beyond powerful. Powerful enough to make Belial and the other gatekeepers afraid. For this reason I do not believe it to be a conventional spirit at all. That being said, I do not know what the fuck it is, why the fuck it approached me months ago, or why it gave me incantations.
All I know is that the incantations this Mesh’ki’doreth gave me I have used blindly and have served to augment every ritual I have performed since they were given to me some months ago. I can’t stop using them. There is a power to them that I have only witnessed in entities of ascent such as Enkidorat (albeit in a MUCH weaker form.)
The power is difficult to explain. It is kind of like looking into a light that is too blindingly bright to register. Like bearing witness to a dark horse of a force that came from nothing only to absorb, usurp and surpass everything it came into contact with. It is terrifying and captivating at the same time.
I need serious help and I have a million questions. If it doesn’t come, I am paying for a consultation with E.A. and perhaps another with Kurtis Joseph. I feel this Mesh’ki’doreth could very well be one of the old antagonistic, angelic entities that has enslaved the human race under the guise of saving it, much like the angelic counterparts of the divs within the path of smoke.
Who the fuck is this looking ass, head ass, assing- ass Mesh’ki’doreth? Google has nothing. Does anyone fucking know? I have never even thought Belial to be capable of fear. Tonight, I felt genuine fear from him. He came to me to ask me for help. He wants me to help him defeat this entity. To somehow… kill it and help him bring about “true freedom and anarchy.” I have serious doubts if killing something like that is even possible.
I have further doubts as to why an entity as powerful as Belial would ask someone like me for help. I have only mastered one of the three godlike powers (evocation) and by no means am I a master black magician. I am literally nothing. On what planet could I possibly help an entity like Belial accomplish HIS goals? It is supposed to be the other way around. This has to be a game.
I got into magick to answer questions. Now it seems I have far more questions than answers. Help!
For the first time in a long time, I am genuinely afraid. Serious inquiries only.
