Looks so good. I wish I was that tidy with my things.
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Reading through your meanderings now, I like your sense of harsh humor. It’s part of some kind of survival strategy, I know. But I won’t dare to fix you with a half ass suggestion. You’re perfect the way you are; a fighter…
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This is an awesome Sitri post. Ive been thinking a lot randomly about Sitri. And as i said this something just randomly fell off my bed. Creepy much?
I’ll be doing something non chalantly and the word Sitri will just popup in my head. Weird.
The same happened with Duchess Bim and now we made contact. I love Duchess Bim.
This is a lovely post. Thanks for the detailed info.
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That’s when I say, ‘shhhh it’s bedtime.’ And see what answers. Sitri has been messing with my head lately, which is pretty okay. My journal may take a tour of my past work with him before it’s really his ‘turn.’ I’ve still got more to handle with Loki (and Furcalor!) though before I move on. Who knows, maybe I’ll add an angel (Raphael) to the mix later on?
But, I’ll probably be posting some Sitri notes soon! I hoped this would stay nice and organized (Loki Ritual 1-?, Sitri Ritual 1-?) but it’s not gonna happen I see. So I’m just throwing as much of the shadow work as I can out first regardless of entity (or not)!
Aww, thanks!!! Coming from you, it really means a lot!
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But the thing for me is, I don’t see any Sutri keeps popping up in my head. I have no work planned with him. Like not even remotely. Maybe the spirits I work with are close to him, maybe thats what it is. Time will tell.
No no its great work. I really like reading it. Maybe a detailed feature on Forcalor? Not that he gives a shit about a public description lol.
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I have no idea what my connection to Sitri is sometimes. I’ve never done anything close to love/ lust/ obsession magick. He made me call him and now we’re just close. I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck I’m doing in such a close relationship with a spirit known for something I’ve never (in this life at least) truly touched.
I love the relationship we have, and would never give it up or trade it. He’s so special to me, but I just don’t know what happened for him to around this much (not that I’m complaining) or for me to call him so often for things that aren’t what he’s put in the Goetia for.
You’re right. Maybe I will. I might leave out a big chunk of details, but I’ll at least given my view on him.
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@meow wow 
that is an INCREDIBLE depiction of Focalor. You’ve really hit the nail on the head here. I’m stunned. That’s really cool!
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I was just referring to your pictures of him. I thought that was intense.
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Makes sense, I was confused 
Sometimes he looks prettier!
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Yes sometimes he can be very handsome, other times monsterous I understand what you’re saying.
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Love the second sketch of Forcalor.
Absolutely absolutely love it.
Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more on him from your POV.
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Yayy!! More Forcalor.
@meow you do some awesome spirit profiles. Absolutely love this one as much as all the others.
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This is so sweet! I do try to make them understandable and not incredibly long.
I’m not sure honestly where the line should be between my personal experiences and general information on these things… Buer and Tumi are left. If I add another (I know I mentioned maybe Raphael), there’ll be at least a couple more than the 4 I planned for.
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Fucking hell… I am bi myself and just what the fuck.
When it comes to gender sex and sexuality I really don’t focus on it too much. if you’re awesome and I like you then that’s it there’s nothing that’s gonna change that. It’s Indescribably abhorrent what your mother did to you… I am so incredibly sorry to hear that but no that at least when you’re talking to me II accept you and care about you for who you are, all of who you are.
When I came out to my mom there was a much less harmful reaction from her but still she had a similar reaction. One of my friends helped me to understand that by saying that my mom honestly believes that what I did would lead to me hurting myself. I realized that its ignorance. And then it became sad that my mom would never see how beautiful I truly am.
With all of that being said, That does not change the fact that 1 of the most important people in your life dismissed you and invalidated you in a deep and destructive way. It hurts and you have every right to be angry, You have every right to yell, you have every right to cry and be hurt. I think that you are amazing and wonderful and your life path is beautiful and will bring you much joy. I think that you are intelligent and wise and know exactly what you want and what you’re doing… Anyone who says otherwise is just ignorant and not worth your time no matter if their family or not.
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Any addiction or mechanism that you use to give from pain is dangerous for 2 reasons in my opinion. One is because you are Using it to trick yourself into feeling better so you don’t have to deal with the pain and heal. Eventually that will destroy you because the pain and the scars will grow and consume you if you don’t deal with them. The 2nd reason is because you become dependent on that thing and if that thing is anything other than your inner soul then it can be taken away and when it is taken away you are left broken.
I didn’t quote all of that because this has become a really long message and I don’t want you to have spend half a day scrolling 
All i will say is this. If you ever want to Give the animals that have done this and treated you the way they have the Justice and retribution they deserve I’m only a call away.
I would compare it to walking on eggshells legitimately. If you ever let a core part of your being be expressed in a way that you don’t intend it feels like it could ruin your life and physically harm you. It is a terrible and horrifying experience and I am here for you whenever you need me OK?
My dad is the same. I haven’t figured out any solution other Than to say fuck you to him and not talk to him. There was a whole incident regarding that though so I’ll pm you if you want me to. Suffice to say i can only offer my support and shoulder to lean on here. I don’t have a solution or advice.
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Yeah @dagar there is alot of hostility from all sides towards bisexuals. I think that’s wrong.
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I think it’s idiotic and disgusting to treat people like that. It’s inhuman in my opinion.
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We are gods. Never let yourself forget to command the respect you deserve 
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Ooof I used to feel like that I think. I realized that people weren’t doing the same for me and it made me realize that I wasn’t actually Getting what I thought I was out of it. I was giving them everything that I had and I was getting nothing in return. It made me recognize that I am a valuable person and that I need to treat my time with respect and not give to others whenever they are not giving back to me.
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As someone who has suffered from the abuse of being manipulated in a toxic and demeaning the meaning/unhealthy way. I believe that manipulation when used for good and protection is an incredible and wonderful thing. Maybe this is because a part of me still still craves feeling important enough to be manipulated but but I believe that people who talk about being kind and loving without being willing or capable to truly destroy something in order to protect it are being naive, not being truly kind.
I think that, at least for me, the idea of commitment is one based on mutual respect and an equal share of energy. If 1 person is receiving money and the other is receiving nothing when it comes to employment that is not a commitment that is abuse and slavery. Remember that the only people worth your time are those who will give you back as much, if not more than you put in. It is not selfish or toxic to respect yourself that much.
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