Meeting the Darkness


#1

I’ve been meaning to post this for a LOOOONNNGG time but never got around to it.

When I first began working the OAA material I began with the Darkness meditation, this can also be found in Works of Darkness for those unfamiliar with it.

My first few days of doing this meditation went by rather uneventfully, I followed the guided meditation and used all the visualization that were instructed during the meditation. I posted my results so for both accuracy and ease I’ll quote them

[quote="-TWF-, post:12, topic:1015"]Had Nox visit me in a dream today. I still can’t confirm that is his name but its the same entity I’ve experienced in the meditations and dreams. In the dream we were facing each other and for some reason or another he began the LBRP but instead of a pillar of light coming down it was a black pillar and it shot directly into his 3rd eye. He never said anything, only went through the motions of the banishing ritual smiled and vanished. I got the feeling the method he showed me was meant to banish the light and fill one’s self with darkness. This is the third time he has shown me some kind of ritual or exercise.

As soon as I get done with my Dra’talon project I’ll be adding this as a pre-meditation ritual. Admittedly I’ve been slacking on the OAA material since I began the project. Once it’s done its back to work on the flames.[/quote]

And this began what turned into a near obsession for me for a few months, I was addicted to the darkness and it consumed me both mentally and energetically.


#2

I continued the darkness meditations until they had lost all appeal and no longer filled me with the dense dark energy I had come to love.

I would have periodic meetings with the entity that had been dubbed Nox and I felt compelled to learn as much as possible from it.

I created a sigil for the entity and used it to connect to the spirit, the best method Inhad found was to open the sigil and then begin the darkness meditation. Once I was in a meditative state I’d visualize the sigil and call the spirit to me internally. Several times I felt what can be best described as hands touching me and indiscernible whispers in my ear.

At this point I felt the need for peer review, I enlisted the aid of several forum members here. I sent them a copy of he sigil and asked them to give me their impressions. Out of the four magicians I contacted only 2 were willing to work with this spirit as the other two had bad vibes and wern’t sure they wanted this spirit in their presence. One of the two magicians that agreed became ill and nauseous while working with this spirit and had to stop. The other magicians experience seemed to mirror my own and confirmed that I wasn’t deluding myself.

During this time I was very intense and confrontational. I was quick to snap or blow up, and my temper was short which was unusual for me. The harder I tried to control it the more things seemed to push my buttons. I also found that at times rituals were not as necassary as more than once while in the planning phases the results would appear before conducting a ritual.

My exercises and experiments amplified during this time and I’d have intense visual and auditory experiences . During the meditations I found myself in an underground cavern with the roots and soil making the ceilings and walls that surrounded me. A face appeared in the darkness, this was not the same face I had seen before but it was familiar to me none the less. It answered my questions before I could even ask.

“I am known by many names and many faces” it told me confirming that it was the spirit I had been seeking.

" I am the darkness made manifest, I am initiation."

When I asked the spirit to explain itself it obliged and continued " The path of darkness draws the weak but is not intended for them, they seek the darkness to hide their weakness, one needs strength to walk this path or else they will get lost in the darkness." What became clear to me from working with this spirit was that the more one tried to deny or repress something the more it was pushed outward and became their reality, the darkness was about accepting ones self, all the good and all the bad. If you could not be honest with yourself and face the things you resented and feared and lusted after, the things you secretly love or hate the darkness would push them at you harder almost a case of kill or cure.

In closing the spirit explained to me “It is not my place to guide you, I am here to make you aware the path exists, there are others who will guide you down their paths.”

That was the conclusion of my working with the darkness as it said Inhad gone as far as I could and would need to seek other spirits to guide me further.

If the magician who assisted me would care to add to this he’s more than welcome as his own experiences were very intersting and complementary to my own.

Thanks
TWF


#3

Awesome experiences TWF! I didn’t know such a simple exercise could leed to so much.You talked about becoming ill and the darkness consuming you.Do you consider these positive or negative results? Would you recomend this to someone wanting to confront the darkness ? IMO I would have to say the good outweighs the bad if you’re trying to make your first contact.Thanks for sharing bro.


#4

I didn’t think much of becoming ill when it first happened, I just chalked it up to a virus or something. When one of the guys who worked with the darkness got sick as well I started wondering if there was a connection. Looking back at the first flame thread I saw how many complained of being drained or feeling run down makes me much more suspicious and more cautious, I didn’t put two and two together at that time. I’ve been done with this exercise for a few months now I was just too damn lazy to post it up.

Do I consider them positive or negative? It was what it was, it was a learning experience and it took me mentally to some dark places and forced me to look long and hard about my life and how I was doing things. It made me accept the good as well as the bad as part of the whole. Is that good or bad? I don’t know, it changed me and my views.

Would I reccomemd this to someone? Only if your willing to accept the ugly sides of yourself, the fearful and weak sides that you try your best to hide. Until you can acknowledge these parts of yourself can you do anything about them. The more you repress the more you push it into the darkness to manifest around you.

This wasn’t my first contact but one that definitely left just as much of an impression, I guess the good could outweigh the bad but that deals more with the individual and if they made it through for the better than the exercise itself.


#5

Hey TWF,

Did you do just do the meditation as described in the OAA material, or did you continue with breathing in the Darkness as is described in Works of Darkness?

I have performed the meditation many times and never have I had an experience as you describe. It is awesome! Thank you for sharing! I may have to go back to it :slight_smile:


#6

Interest stuff TWF.

So would you say the darkness made you accept the weaker/bad parts of yourself or that they were pointed out so you could over come them? Like an internal alchemy, burning off the dross so to speak?


#7

[quote=“DarkestKnight, post:5, topic:2116”]Hey TWF,

Did you do just do the meditation as described in the OAA material, or did you continue with breathing in the Darkness as is described in Works of Darkness?

I have performed the meditation many times and never have I had an experience as you describe. It is awesome! Thank you for sharing! I may have to go back to it :)[/quote]

I did everything described in the meditation. It wasn’t just the darkness meditation I was trying to contact the entity I had met there. I sigilized the name and used that to help make contact. I’d lie down and do he meditation after opening the sigil. Once in the meditation I’d visualize being consumed by the darkness and having it take me further and further down. Eventually I’d feel weightless and like I was tumbling. The visions would begin then and I’d be able to communicate.


#8

[quote=“Seeker, post:6, topic:2116”]Interest stuff TWF.

So would you say the darkness made you accept the weaker/bad parts of yourself or that they were pointed out so you could over come them? Like an internal alchemy, burning off the dross so to speak?[/quote]

Not so much acceptance as in its ok to be weak or afraid or whatever but more along the lines of not making excuses for yourself. For arguments sake instead of saying “It’s not my fault I yell at my wife, she always nags me or knows how to push my buttons!” You’d come to the point of saying “I yell at my wife because I resent being married and this situation makes me unhappy but I’m scared to get divorced.” It’s about being completely honest with yourself which is a lot harder than it sounds, no one likes to be at fault or think there is something wrong with them.


#9

Cool, good point.


#10

Damn. I’m at the point where I’m getting static rain almost all the time without stop. It’s like I’m constantly in a trance, but I still haven’t actually seen anything physical.


#11

Lots of things come to mind upon reading this: shadow person, Fear, your darkest side, the dark aspects of Consciousness, a fire entity, etc.

A few questions to consider:
Is this entity still bothering you now?
Do you sometimes have that dark sense of regret that you haven’t completely escaped its clutches?
Since the entity said that the weak are drawn to the darkness, but one must be strong to survive, where do you want to go with this?


#12

[quote="-TWF-, post:7, topic:2116"][quote=“DarkestKnight, post:5, topic:2116”]Hey TWF,

Did you do just do the meditation as described in the OAA material, or did you continue with breathing in the Darkness as is described in Works of Darkness?

I have performed the meditation many times and never have I had an experience as you describe. It is awesome! Thank you for sharing! I may have to go back to it :)[/quote]

I did everything described in the meditation. It wasn’t just the darkness meditation I was trying to contact the entity I had met there. I sigilized the name and used that to help make contact. I’d lie down and do he meditation after opening the sigil. Once in the meditation I’d visualize being consumed by the darkness and having it take me further and further down. Eventually I’d feel weightless and like I was tumbling. The visions would begin then and I’d be able to communicate.[/quote]

All the feelings ( dark meditation, get sick and permanente push the button state of mind, and some depressive states for moments etc ) were happening to me on the dark sun meditation and the Eric Book works of darkness. The flame sensation keeps on me almost everyday, so I can confirm you too, the feelings are that way…


#13

[quote=“korgon, post:12, topic:2116”][quote="-TWF-, post:7, topic:2116"][quote=“DarkestKnight, post:5, topic:2116”]Hey TWF,

Did you do just do the meditation as described in the OAA material, or did you continue with breathing in the Darkness as is described in Works of Darkness?

I have performed the meditation many times and never have I had an experience as you describe. It is awesome! Thank you for sharing! I may have to go back to it :)[/quote]

I did everything described in the meditation. It wasn’t just the darkness meditation I was trying to contact the entity I had met there. I sigilized the name and used that to help make contact. I’d lie down and do he meditation after opening the sigil. Once in the meditation I’d visualize being consumed by the darkness and having it take me further and further down. Eventually I’d feel weightless and like I was tumbling. The visions would begin then and I’d be able to communicate.[/quote]

All the feelings ( dark meditation, get sick and permanente push the button state of mind, and some depressive states for moments etc ) were happening to me on the dark sun meditation and the Eric Book works of darkness. The flame sensation keeps on me almost everyday, so I can confirm you too, the feelings are that way…[/quote]
I tried the dark sun meditation too, strictly held to it for 2 weeks and I got nothing. However, I should add that for the first week, every morning when I woke up I visualized the morning sun replacing the black sun rising up to the mid-point in the sky. And when I would go to bed, I imagined it setting and the black sun rising. I guess from that part my aura grew stronger as people I know, including one who never saw auras before, commented on the gold light surrounding me.

After the first week, I left out the rising sun to see if I noticed any difference, and there was nothing different for me.


#14

[quote=“Theo, post:13, topic:2116”][quote=“korgon, post:12, topic:2116”][quote="-TWF-, post:7, topic:2116"][quote=“DarkestKnight, post:5, topic:2116”]Hey TWF,

Did you do just do the meditation as described in the OAA material, or did you continue with breathing in the Darkness as is described in Works of Darkness?

I have performed the meditation many times and never have I had an experience as you describe. It is awesome! Thank you for sharing! I may have to go back to it :)[/quote]

I did everything described in the meditation. It wasn’t just the darkness meditation I was trying to contact the entity I had met there. I sigilized the name and used that to help make contact. I’d lie down and do he meditation after opening the sigil. Once in the meditation I’d visualize being consumed by the darkness and having it take me further and further down. Eventually I’d feel weightless and like I was tumbling. The visions would begin then and I’d be able to communicate.[/quote]

All the feelings ( dark meditation, get sick and permanente push the button state of mind, and some depressive states for moments etc ) were happening to me on the dark sun meditation and the Eric Book works of darkness. The flame sensation keeps on me almost everyday, so I can confirm you too, the feelings are that way…[/quote]
I tried the dark sun meditation too, strictly held to it for 2 weeks and I got nothing. However, I should add that for the first week, every morning when I woke up I visualized the morning sun replacing the black sun rising up to the mid-point in the sky. And when I would go to bed, I imagined it setting and the black sun rising. I guess from that part my aura grew stronger as people I know, including one who never saw auras before, commented on the gold light surrounding me.

After the first week, I left out the rising sun to see if I noticed any difference, and there was nothing different for me.[/quote]

In my case was the entering in Thagirion realm was the first approach since the second days of six of black sun meditation. The process was really painful and such a kind of " sweet deep melancholy", painful and extremely awakener in many aspects of my own self related to magic. The experience was hard and push you of a level of “are you sure u wanna continue?” the feelings experienced on Black Sun, get me sick for 5 days until the finishing of the ritual of six days. The retarded effect continues many days until at least ten days later, an slow move to Gamaliel push me to another sphere in no continuity ( in my case. seems to be non correlative walking, or at least was my experience ). But meet the darkness includes, depending on the experience, extreme ways to understanding.


#15

[quote=“Theo, post:11, topic:2116”]Lots of things come to mind upon reading this: shadow person, Fear, your darkest side, the dark aspects of Consciousness, a fire entity, etc.

A few questions to consider:
Is this entity still bothering you now?
Do you sometimes have that dark sense of regret that you haven’t completely escaped its clutches?
Since the entity said that the weak are drawn to the darkness, but one must be strong to survive, where do you want to go with this?[/quote]

I think I’ve gone as far as I could with it and that we’re pretty much done. I have 't had contact with it since it told me its time to move forward, and I don’t really regret the experience or feel that it still holds me, if anything we hold ourselves by the limitations we institute in our lives be it from because we feel safe or because we out scared just keep in mind its always a choice you just have to be willing to change.


#16

I was doing the black sun meditations while still working with Nox and he darkness. I had a bad habit of not setting the black sun and that exercise or the combination of the two kicked my ass hard. I could not relate or identify with people, I hated everything and everything was illusion. My senses kicked up and I was seeing shit all the time. I thought I was cracking for a little bit. I said screw it and rode he wave until it smoothed out and here I am. I don’t regret it but don’t want to go through it again unless absolutely necessary.


#17

For me it’s like 'roids. I lifted for years, always pushing myself to my physical limits and beyond. At one point in my life, just using my mind and discipline, I was lifting as much as the roid users in my gym, for as many reps and sets. But when I finally reached my natural limits and could go no further naturally, I tried the juice.

Gradually, and with professional guidance, I worked myself up to 5,000 mgs every couple of weeks while training intensive. My starting body weight was 110 kgs, (about 220 lbs) and my ending weight after 1 1/2 years, 3 cycles, proper diet & training, I was only at 113 kgs, or 226 lbs# and the same body fat %! What the heck?!!

Today, I don’t train as intensively. You might look at me and say something like, “You lift weights?!!”

But, I’m still able to lift what I did when I juiced, even though juicing never made me any stronger than I naturally was. Thinking back on the $$$ I wasted on hormones, I still say it was worth it just to find out how far I could push myself.


#18

One thing I’ll add while doing all this reality did sem much more “malleable” in that at the most simple visualizations would cause results to manifest quite quickly. I was told by others who’ e experiences this as well as from Nox that the darkness is much more dense and can manifest more easily which is one reason it is so dangerous. You can easily manifest your fears as easily as your desires.


#19

I just wanted to say to those who plan to work with Nox

If you decide to evoke him do so at your own risk, I will dig up the correspondence I had with the other magician who I worked with. He tried and had bad results and said he felt attacked. I advise to work with entity only in the method I outlined.


#20

I was only attacked after I told him to fuck off at the end of the ritual. I was getting tired of him trying to make me feel uncomfortable. I may work with him again in the future if I begin working on with darkness again. That may be pretty soon.