Hello, I am Archadeus.
As of right now, I’m currently attempting to carry out a sleep and dream recording exercise in concurrence to my attempts to practice meditation. I’m attempting to familizarize myself with the common use of traditional Oriental methods of breathing relaxation and likewise reflective meditation. I do not know if this is the place to indeed start without any supporting material, but I have nonetheless.
I do however want to ask, is it possible for one to be made sensitive to spiritual activity as young children often are? I do know that ten years ago was when I apparently became desensitized to spiritual activity. I, in part, mark this as having occurred from the trauma of a violent divorce between my mother and father. In short, I think the mental and physical trauma were not all I suffered, but rather I also suffered a total closing of my mind to spiritual activity.
I’ve also been often sensitive to spiritual events and was considered exceptionally sensitive within my church when I took part in it. It was my unease though (due to past negative experiences) that ever kept me from experimenting with this sensitivity. I do know that when I do pray or allow myself to speak with emotion and from deep within, I feel a sort of flying feeling, but again it has been at least two or so years since this has happened. I’m beginning to wonder if most of what I have felt over these past ten years are anything I should be excited about, or simply over-imaginative.
Tell me then, those of you whom do practice magic, what then would call my experiences?
On a second and related note, I also plan to post daily updates if not weekly updates as to my sleep journal. I plan to synchronize the finality of my experimentation cycle with the ending of the lunar cycle to see if it bears any particular cycle. Perhaps I should have waited, perhaps I didn’t need to go that long. I do not know, but again, as I said: strange things are already happening.
I have decided to use the pendulum method, but without the use of a pendulum, and rather utilizing a bokken I have in my room. It is untreated wood as of now, so I wouldn’t think it is spiritually receptive and believe that anything pertaining to what it does in the meditation exercise is simply a reflex of my own imagination. If I can channel though my feelings and thoughts into nothingness by focusing on the movements of the bokken, I believe that will bring me into trance, correct?
It is on this note I began meditating, or attempting to, early this morning in preparation for falling asleep. It was then I had an interesting experience with doing so. I’ve always seen images and figures in the corner of my eyes, often times they stay there if I focus on only looking at them with my peripheral. However, when I try to look directly at them, they end up disappearing. The longest I’ve held such a figure in this indirect gaze is about twenty seconds. While no such event occurred (I feel it was already too late for me to try anyways and everything was wrong for it to happen), I feel there might have been an entity nevertheless within my room with me.
Herein follows what I have observed in my first sitting:
Day 1 of 24 in my predetermined Cycle.
It has been less than 24 hours since I have decided to adopt these foreign tenets. I am apprehensive though I understand that they are needed. I will attempt to fine-tune myself in meditation before beginning in any further attempts to sense the presence of spirits.
Already I’ve noticed a strange occurrence. Usually my hair stands straighter towards my widow’s peak, giving it a slight fohawk appearance. I know that not thirty minutes before my meditation cycle my hair was at this usual position. This is not unusual.
During my meditation, I repeatedly felt lapses in my consciousness, and the course of what I believe was an experienced fifteen minutes of time went by much quicker. During these lapses in consciousness, I felt a large weight pushing at the backs and top of my head. Whether this was a physical relaxation of supporting muscles or an actual reaction to something present is unknown and remains a source of speculation.
What is apparent is this, upon finishing my meditative ritual, I used the restroom to brush my teeth before sleeping. I noted that all hair on my head had been pressed down save for what was at the back of my head which was stuck straight out. I cannot explain how this is as I sat still in the center of my bedroom in silence during the entirety of the meditative ritual and immediately prior was spent trying to regulate my breathing and decide how I was to attempt to meditate.
I have now decided to conduct a full-on experiment based on these results over the course of the next twenty-four days. I shall further detail my methodology and mindset as well as the results of each meditative session as well as times from this point on to better grasp what has happened.
I have also decided to attempt to spend more time unclothed. It is in response to a suggestion I read made by Asiatic teachers of meditative practices. It was stating that to meditate, and simply be naked and in a more natural state, is to further enhance one’s experiences in life and their understanding. Perhaps I’m remembering it wrong, or doing it for the wrong reasons, but regardless I shall attempt it. I now will attempt to sleep but will make sure to log my dreams when I wake to prepare for work in the afternoon.