So I’ve posted a couple times on here a little while back about my attempts to get into contact with Belial and Lucifer (and others of the Goetia). I mediate almost daily, either laying in bed at night, or sitting in front of my candles and incense (alter) using sigils. I have never heard a response back from them, although there have been times where I have felt a strange energy, or, at night, almost a creeping electric feeling of something brushing my head/hair/back of neck.
I have been really trying and working on establishing my abilities and connections with these entities for several months, but I wonder if what is really blocking communication is fear on my end. I go and read posts in this forum and people make these entities seem funny, jolly, humorous, wise–nothing inherently bad or evil.
However, there have been times where I have felt the presence of entities or something when not trying to establish contact (like in the past when I’ve smoked or in my dreams/nightmares/trips/sleep paralysis) that feels evil. The sinister, creeping, murderous raping tortuous evil that makes me cringe in my soul type feeling.
I don’t know if those experiences were “real,” but I feel like that could be what’s holding me back from really being open to establishing contact and increasing my abilities. Any thoughts?