Matt's scattered journal. (What im doing right now)

I will introduce myself. My name is Matthew, im a 20 year old that is now creating this journal (my first) and it’s definetly not for therapeutic reason’s.:wink: Ive been wanting to create a journal for awhile to record my growth so this is where i start. I will be recording my spiritual growth, i will be attempting spiritual project’s, and will be testing different rituals and meditations to record what works best for myself. Lets see how well this unfolds with time.

about my experience

Im not a complete newbie at black magic nor am i an adept. I would consider myself an intermediate practitioner. Its been a solid three years but the months have been long and tiresome. Ive been doing research and experimenting alot. I know my basics and have built a pretty fair foundation. But i am nowhere near the level i want to be at. a true adept i do evocation and invocations. I would say im decent with energy work when i can really focus. I don’t really know my talent as far as abilities or senses go, but this journal is going to serve the purpose of discovering and unfolding my abilities and talents. Im holding Lucifer close to me as my patron.

**THE WORK IM DOING AT THE MOMENT**

I am researching and practicing within the Qliphoth rn. Ive initiated through Liliths sphere Gamaliel last night and haven’t noticed anything to major. Ive worked my way up to Da’ath about a month ago and felt the urge to backtrack to Nahemoth.

I know i can finish initiating through the rest of the spheres any time but my current living situation is pretty exhausting and i feel trapped.
I currently live with my mother, and my goal is to get a place of my own with a roommate. i stopped showing up at work and blame my mom for half of the reason’s why i cant just be myself and work a fucking job. Im in like a full blown rage.

Things are really stressful at the moment, i can go and get another job. just that my motivation took a big downfall. Im still going to keep up with the Qliphoth and will complete it. Just with more discipline than before. My main goal is to get back on track and just be mindful the best i can. I dont feel as in touch with any spirit anymore my mind is filled with these doubt’s and im coping.

THE RITE OF SORATH

@C.Kendall held a group rite not to long ago, “The group rite of Sorath” that i signed up to be a part of. He did a excellent job with the ritual and i felt as if i was right there with him when he was fasting and doing the things necessary to unleash the rite. I signed up for the ritual because i need that change that Sorath bestows. Sorath just really calls to me. He just simply is Sorath. And that is terrifyingly hypnotic. I didnt feel much when he performed the ritual and i dont feel a change right at this moment, but im patient. Ill be honest i got pretty stoned before he started the ritual and when i seen the post of “ritual completed” i felt so lazy. (But contempt.) As for Sorath, ive researched about him and i accept his curse/blessing. Thankyou @C.Kendall for the amazing rite.

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2021-10-08T04:00:00Z

My first journal log, my sister came to visit today and just had a breakout with my sister and mom. My mom is kicking me out of my house. I had one of those panic attacks that sneak up on me in the most random of times. That make me burst in anger. My sister is trying to “help” me move out so i dont end up homeless. I just dont know how to put into words how i feel. No HS diploma, no job. I know im not helpless but i am pretty stubborn. My strength just isnt here rn.

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2021-10-11T04:00:00Z

Sorath has been on my mind 24/7. I feel his anticipation and it’s bringing up problems in my education and career. I have alot to catch up with and just thinking about how im so behind in my life and personal growth is really making it hard for me. Im just patiently waiting for the first step of change that Sorath will give me to move out of my negative situation. Im defintely needing to put a pause on my practices to be able to actually focus on the things i need to do to catch up with the status of a Highschool graduate. Im actually really contempt about having Sorath in my life. to bring a boost of change to my current efforts. Im glad to have him as an ally on my path in all areas of my life. Hail Sorath!:sunny:

I’ll be following your journal. I too have experienced the Sorath ritual. In my experience, he has made communication with other spirits easier (Loki). Feel free to toss me a PM if you ever feel like it.

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For sure man. Ill shoot you a PM as soon as i can.

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2021-10-13T04:00:00Z

EVOCATION OF SABNOCK

Evoked Marquis sabnock for help with some protection magick. I dont think the evocation was a full success but i definitely did feel him around. My request/petition was written out with his sigil and burned. Felt really good about the evocation and i will definitely be working with marquis sabnock more frequently. I definetly felt a watchful presence in the room with me watching my actions.

Need to call him again and do better, its as if he was queuing to me that i can do without dramatic evocations. and do much better. Just for my situation atleast. This was just me preparing for the evocation. I did the ritual at midnight.

He has a really soothing watchful mellow and mighty vibe. I can sense his stature, and can sense the concern he has about my situation. I feel a sense of sudden arrival and i feel castles being built around me. His vibe mysterious hence his lunar attributes. I resonated with his purple colours and chose to visualize and utilize these colors as emotions or empathy in my evocation and evocations to come as a sort of preparatory connective evocation.