well, i finished broadcasting the nbome into some juice and drank it. right now my face is tingling but i don’t see anything out of the ordinary. the high is supposed to hit around 9 (in about an hour), so we’ll see what happens, if anything
if nothing happens i’ll know my radionic broadcast was done incorrectly. i broadcast 1mg of 25C-NBOMe into a juice box of fruit juice using the rate 90-42 for 30 minutes.
Just digressing back to a former subject mentioned in this thread…about the 3rd eye opening. Mine opened a few years ago to the point where it really opened up for the first time. Since then, it happens sporadically or when I meditate with the intention to. When it happens sporadically, it’s usually just before I fall asleep. There is a pressure that builds. It’s like the pressure that builds up to a female orgasm. Next there’s a fluttering and a tapping sensation, and lastly the weird sensations break like the opening of the flood gates. You’ll know when your 3rd eye is opening…You can’t miss it. There is a sort of ecstasy that goes along with it, like the equivalent of the easing of muscle contractions but in the forehead.
i did not do ANY exercises to open my aura. i set a rate on my radionic machine to open it for me and it took about 2 weeks for me to get from the pressure to that flutter you are talkinga bout.
if you have a 2-dial radionic machine, the krt manual says the rate to balance your brow chakra are 10 - 60 (front) and 67.5 - 33 (back). you can find a free radionic machine online at cybershaman free if you want to balance your chakra out a bit more and have a windows-based computer.
for me it happens sporadically during the day and i can never predict it, it just comes and goes.
i have felt that fluttering and tapping since my first post on this thread. it feels like somebody is tapping hard on the inside of your head. i also feel a flowing, like somebody is pouring water down the inside of your skull. all of that is the result of running rates on my brow chakra. i don’t do any chakra exercises.
so i’m on the right track then. good to know, and glad to know my radionic machine has been able to do so much of the heavy lifting for me
i broadcast it wrong so nothing happened.
was disappointed and thought that it was a bust, but now i know how to broadcast properly and i will do it properly today and we’ll see what happens next.
sure enough, the nbome broadcast did nothing. -_-
BUT
i spent the last three days mindmapping a bunch of hypnotism kindles. around 900 pages worth in fact. and i have been thinking about how the rapture and crossroads relate to hypnotism. in fact THEY DO.
in one of the kindles i read, there are five levels of deepener to be done to take you into the different states from beta through alpha to theta delta, and finally gamma which is hypnotic somnambulism or the crossroads in ea’s mastering evocation course. the hypnotic method to get to somnambulism is to continue to do multiple deepeners, and do calibrations or suggestibility tests to test the level of trance. structuring vak is only ONE form of suggestibility to test for. in hypnotism there are various phenomena that prove deep trance. i’m going to do a bit more looking around to find others that key into somnambulism that may work better than structuring, which has been a problem for me up until i remembered the autogenic commands for structuring via direct commands.
if the nbome broadcasts don’t work i don’t care. if my structuring fails me, i don’t care. if i don’t enflame myself with emotional prayer, i don’t care. i am a capricorn and we are more determined than that. i will get to the crossroads one way or another, watch and see.
sure enough, i looked into hypnotic rapture progression this morning and learned A LOT.
as i said yesterday, the rapture state takes you through the FIVE levels of trance. the first is the beta state of alertness. the three middle ones (alpha, theta with gamma sync, and delta) are the rapture. delta is the somnambulist state for evocation if it leads to slow wave sleep, with eyes open rather than nrem/rem sleep with eyes closed. as i have said elsewhere on this board, satan informed me that the crossroads was ‘sleeping wide awake’ and i now realize that is open-eyed somnambulism. in hypnosis this is known as the esdaile state.
trance ratification (the ability to know how deep your trance is) is measured by five main trance phenomena (FOUR more than the structuring work that erik has in his course). i outline all five below:
a. structuring VAK modalities (visual hallucinations, imagined/remembered sounds, or sensory alterations such as hyperestehesia or analgesia/anesthesia). vak structuring is ONE method of ratifying your trance level. if you know your primary vak modality, you can then structure (see, hear, or feel) objects or phenomena. in magick this is known as visualiztion but the fact of the matter is that NOT EVERYBODY IS A VISUALIZER. the key is using what nlp practitioners call your driver modality. if you are auditory, your main modality is your hearing. in that way, you wouldn’t visualize but would use your EAR to HEAR sounds in 3D space around you (almost like tuning your ear to surround sound). and if you are kinesthetically oriented, you would use your senses (skin’s nerves and intuition) to FEEL/SENSE changes around you in air pressure, heat/coldness, sharpness/dullness, etc in the atmosphere. if you are olfactory/gustatory (which is very rare but it happens), you’d use your sense of smell or taste to catch scents or taste the changes. if you’ve ever done evocation and didn’t see anything, but heard noises, or felt a temperature change or pressing on different parts of your bodies, of had sweet or sour smells out of nowhere that you couldn’t explain, you were successful and you’re approaching the crossroads.
b. another form of trance ratification is automatic movement or stiffness. automatic movement includes ideomotor work with a pendulum, hand levitation, or automatic drawing, and can also include involuntary movements such as swaying, jerking, spinning, limp limbs, or shuddering/shaking. stiffness is hypnotic catalepsy (eyes that can’t open, or stiff limbs). if you’ve ever had any of those things happen to you and you wondered what the hell was going on, good news - you were deep in trance.
c. a third form of trance ratification is time distortion. that includes both age progression into the future, and age regression into the past, which can also lead to false memories (confabulation), so be careful about going backward in time, it’s pretty controversial in hypnosis and you want to avoid anything coming up that you aren’t able to deal with. in chaos magick the sigil for fotamecus is used to create time distortion. in nlp tad james’ timeline therapy modality is used to travel back and forth in time. and radionic practitioner steven gibbs uses his hyperdimensional resonator to take time distortion to its logical conclusion of time travel. clearly time distortion is powerful trancework and useful for many applications. if you’ve ever done an evocation and it seemed like you were there forever but were only there for a short time, or it seemed like moments but ended up being hours, you were deep in trance.
d. a fourth method of trance ratification is hypnotic amnesia or forgetfulness. if you’ve ever done rapture work and drew a blank or forgot what you were doing and had to snap yourself out, you were in medium or deep trance. if you have the mastering evocation course you will notice that many times in the course ea would pause for long periods of time, or he would suddenly stop talking and have to resume. he was moving in and out of deep trances the whole time he filmed the course, and it’s plain to see that he caught hypnotic amnesia many times right on camera and had to reset his mind.
e. the fifth and final method of trance ratification is hypnotic dissociation. for this you consciously separate your mental or astral bodies from your physical body and do a mental/astral projection or a remote viewing. that isn’t covered in mastering evocation. it might be covered more in the mastering soul travel course, which i don’t have so i can’t tell you any more about that other than dissociation is one of the roads you take on the crossroads. the second road is the astral double which is the road you take for evocation, and the third road is drifting off to sleep.
i put a few of these ideas to the test by cueing up my hypnotic trance trigger and then running quick suggestibility tests this morning. using scripts in hypnotic manuals and slow steady breathing, i went into medium trances very quickly. when structuring a cube on the floor in front of me i realized why i was having so much trouble structuring: i kept my eyes wide open and did not concentrate on my breathing. in order to get the right frame of focus for inductions and deepeners to work you have to do a double focus: your vak modality (see an object, hear a sound, or feel a sense), AND breathing concentration. then to get to the deeper part of the trance you either close your eyes or squint, which happens as you deepen your trance. that gives you that eyelid flutter you get in deep trance, you are playing a physical ‘as if’ and it puts you into trance faster.
if you get into a proper light trance and then close your eyes and do nothing else, your trance automatically deepens. quiet is another hypnotic deepener. so technically, if you are relaxed enough you can go from the rapture to the crossroads by doing not a damn thing other than getting into a light trance, breathing with your eyes closed, and waiting. the only real effort on your part at that point is not falling asleep and also not awakening yourself suddenly, thereby throwing yourself back into beta state.
a lot of useful information to digest. i won’t need to use all of it but now i know i have choices and options for getting through the rapture to the crossroads. i’m going to play around with these methods and see if they get me all the way there in the next little while.
the thought crossed my mind today: maybe magick is not for me. i’ve been at this thing long enough and have learned enough that others ask me for advice, but my evo’s are not rocking like they should be and i’m not having that.
took time off to re-evaluate what i’ve been learning and the results i’ve gotten and i’m not happy. this site is called become a living god, not become a living procrastinator or become a living excuse-maker for why the ritual didn’t work, or become a living underachiever. and yes, i hear the whole attitude of ‘be patient’ but since when are those with a promethian mentality patient?
i digress.
as far as erik’s system of preparatory immersion, i have aligned his steps with straightforward hypnotism in order to combine what he teaches with what i am learning and make them work together.
: i use nlp’s logical levels pyramid and well-formed outcomes for my own preparatory immersion. in the logical levels pyramid i model effective archetypes to find my purpose, and i use my astrological birthchart to define my identity. from there i fill out both pyramids downwards. the difference between the two pyramids’ worldviews tell me what changes i need to make in order to become who i want to be. doing this in real life can be very involved and it forces you to look at things you otherwise would never have noticed and think about things you never would have considered before.
: i use hypnotism and autogenic training as my developed working system. hypnosis has solid workable techniques for opening the mind to paranormal forces.
the next part of prep immersion is greater magick:
: substantial contact is done in hypnotic engagement using focus, symbology, and inductions.
: incantation is hypnotic engagement done through deepeners.
: communication (issuing a task, and dismissal) are hypnotic and posthypnotic suggestions respectively.
: psychological retraction is hypnotic disengagement, or countouts/breakstates to return to beta state.
erik doesn’t define lesser magick or review in his course. lesser magick is the action part of magick that you use to tie it to your experience, and review is what you put in your grimoire or on your blog as the result of your work.
that is my understanding of the work i have been doing the last ten months in mastering evocation. will continue working with esoteric hypnotism until my course license runs out. i will not download the videos until AFTER i evoke to appearance or the license runs out, whichever comes first.
if i don’t evoke and my license runs out i’m leaving the board. i’m not here to be a scenester. my attitude is this: if i don’t learn to evoke within one year, my calling may lay elsewhere.
had to summarize the work so i can see what i have done and what i have left to do.
back to work
ok, i’ve officially been here over a year.
i stopped for the last month to do some reading and some heavy thinking.
there are holes in the mastering evocation course that i couldn’t work my way around, and i had to learn hypnotism to figure out what they are.
last night i finally got the realization that you can write the different levels of the transformation of consciousness as hypnotic commands and then use them in your deepeners to ratify your trance. in other words, you can write a hypnotic script to talk yourself right through to the crossroads.
: you can tell yourself to go into theta-gamma sync, and what you will see/hear/feel when you are there.
: you can embed commands for visual and auditory hallucinations, and then structure them from there - trance hallucination is very common in hypnotism.
: as i learn more about the esdaile state and simpson protocol, i will find out how to use hypnotic commands to command yourself to go through the crossroads. i will ask a friend of mine who is a professional hypnotist how to do this. (update: this morning mike mandel wrote on his listserv that he has put himself into esdaile state with autosuggestion, so it IS possible to induce an esdaile state in oneself, which is basically what erik does for his mastering evocation course).
the trick is to understand the steps of each process, and then turn each process into a direct command. from there insert those commands as either direct commands, indirect/embedded commands, or even metaphors so the mind understands and accepts them as it goes into trance.
i wish these things didn’t take so much fucking time but i realize that i am teaching myself something i don’t know yet, and explaining it in a way that is logical and even makes the unknown seem commonplace. that’s actually a rare ability.
but this IS magick, right? to create something from nothing.
btw, i have been doing rituals like crazy through my radionic machines, and seeing results in the real world. i’m just teaching myself how to command spirits, which is completely different than what i do now.
when i get my evo’s up and running things will change.
this morning i got an email from mike mandel, a hypnotist from toronto, canada. he wrote that the best way to get to the basement (esdaile state/simpson protocol) is just to do a lot of trancework and go into trance as much as you possibly can.
he said that milton erickson’s best student became his best student because he had gone into trance over 300 times.
so basically, if you want to do what erik does in mastering evocation, make up your mind to go into trance as many times a day as you possibly can, and just keep doing that until you can snap your fingers and drop right into the basement in seconds. that’s the core activity of insight meditation with all the religious bullshit stripped away, and the root of all religion including yoga.
to go into trance 300+ times in 21 days, i’d need to trance out 15 times a day. that much trancework is basically just fractionation over a very long period of time, and i’m sure that something like the abramelin rite for meeting your hga is done using a method like that so i can imagine how powerful it would be if you did it for 6 months, you’d get to a point where you don’t even have to try, you’re in trance all the time.
if i go back into autogenic training and do the full autogenic protocol 15 times in a row daily for a month, cancelling at the end of each runthrough, that should do the trick. it’s kind of crude way to get to the crossroads but hey.
if i find a shock or confusion induction that does what the space exercise does, i’ll use that. i’m sure you can trigger the space exercise and anchor it, and then trigger the autogenic training protocol and anchor that somewhere else, i just haven’t done that. it sure would help get an instant trance to fire off two quick anchors that take you right into the basement.
sure enough, got off track.
however, sorceress cagliastro’s radio shows have been giving me food for thought.
have also been working a LOT of radionics the last month, and this week learned quite a bit from gazing on abramelin sigils and discussing the new avatar power. came up with the idea of adding enochian elementals to the new avatar power, as well as using tree of life keyscales to conjure the goetic or qlipoth spirits with the nap titanic rite. have been told don’t do it but look at my name and figure out if i’m going to say no to that.
when i get my trancework rocking i have a lot to look forward to.
only need to get back into the swing of things.
The same is sayed about the Students of Bandler. Last month I was emulating the same thing in a Class from one of Bandlers best students. I can personaly atest it works.
Imagine doing that with EAs method of entering and all its phyiological triggers. Not only would be the whole Proces a Tirgger in its self but every thing that EA would teach should than work like a charm…
(I will try that…)
2 Things: Do you know the self hypnosis technique of Leslie Cameron-Bandler? Stating 3 True things in Visual, Audio, Feeling and again 2 truism for Visual, Audio, Feeling and again with 1 in every chanel.
Fast way to enter a suggestebil state.
2. Confusion: If you use a Induction like walking down stairs try a Spiral or helical staircase focusing on the rotating feeling.
It strats a Confusion of your proprioception and can help to enter Rapture.
I use the same induced feeling to trigger Rapture.
Here would also be the appropriate place to Imagine a Tunnel like a kaleidoscopic Tube. That helps with Visual confusion and desorientation. (I got that one from the apprentice of a Tibetan Shaman in the same workshop)
A Tube like this spiraling down works wonders in an hypnotic induction.
My Process:
Looking up 45°, Defocusing, Focusing on Breathing → Waiting
Short time later the center of my vison gets Brighter and “energy” moves over my vision. My vison strats to tunnel and black out…
(Here my problems start: I pull back and my Tunneling vision expandsand contracts but I cant enter full rapture. Any ideas?)
Oh yes… And I comment in my mind “Every time I see X I am entering T/G-Sync… Y and I am in T/G-Sync” and so on. Like “I loose proprioception so I am entering Rapture” (ok I may remembered or Imagined the Spacial confusion but hey it kind of works.)
[quote=“Vergil, post:60, topic:1971”]Do you know the self hypnosis technique of Leslie Cameron-Bandler? Stating 3 True things in Visual, Audio, Feeling and again 2 truism for Visual, Audio, Feeling and again with 1 in every chanel.
Fast way to enter a suggestebil state.[/quote]
That sounds fascinating, can you share any more about it or maybe some links that describe the process please? I’ve experimented with writing my own self-hypnosis scripts, and then recording them as MP3s, and I’m just about to create some more this coming weekend.
so i AM onto something. it’s pretty daunting tbh to think about being in trance for an entire month and that’s probably why i have been putting off going full-tilt with it, but if it works now i know what i have to do.
that’s the point. you’d hit the hypnotic floor (esdaile state) at some point during that whole run. it’s just a LOT of trancework and i am wondering about coming out of trance or being half in trance throughout the day. it’s not ideal to move through life in that groggy state and i don’t want any accidents to happen.
[quote=“Vergil, post:60, topic:1971”]2 Things: Do you know the self hypnosis technique of Leslie Cameron-Bandler? Stating 3 True things in Visual, Audio, Feeling and again 2 truism for Visual, Audio, Feeling and again with 1 in every chanel.
Fast way to enter a suggestebil state.[/quote]
yeah, that is a variation of the betty erickson induction. it works great for getting a light trance although it is a bit on the confusing side with all of its moving parts. i like magick to be simple and the simplest induction i’ve come across is mark cunningham’s, which is as follows: ‘notice something all the way on your left. while paying attention to that, also notice something all the way on your right. with those two things in your awareness, gaze right through something directly in front of you. and finally, with those three objects in your awareness, breathe deeply.’ that takes you right into light trance in about 10 seconds and uses your breathing as its deepener. the simplest induction i’ve come across and it works every time.
[quote=“Vergil, post:60, topic:1971”]2. Confusion: If you use a Induction like walking down stairs try a Spiral or helical staircase focusing on the rotating feeling.
It strats a Confusion of your proprioception and can help to enter Rapture.
I use the same induced feeling to trigger Rapture. Here would also be the appropriate place to Imagine a Tunnel like a kaleidoscopic Tube. That helps with Visual confusion and desorientation. (I got that one from the apprentice of a Tibetan Shaman in the same workshop). A Tube like this spiraling down works wonders in an hypnotic induction.[/quote]
all good deepeners have one thing in common: they move your mind. a lot of hypnotists go all the way down but you can go up, through, across, into, out of, in any direction you choose. technically, you can use any sleight of mouth technique (l.michael hall calls them mindlines and wrote a kickass book about them). sleight of mouth/mindlines move your awareness from one place to another of your choosing, and wringing your consciousness out of beta state in whatever direction(s) you go can bring you into hyper trance eventually. having said that, i’m still looking for a deepener that gets me all the way across the divide. my mind resists going into deep trance for whatever reason and i need something that always gets the job done, which i have yet to find.
[quote=“Vergil, post:60, topic:1971”]My Process:
Looking up 45°, Defocusing, Focusing on Breathing → Waiting
Short time later the center of my vison gets Brighter and “energy” moves over my vision. My vison strats to tunnel and black out. (Here my problems start: I pull back and my Tunneling vision expands and contracts but I cant enter full rapture. Any ideas?)[/quote]
to go into rapture you have to deepen. your mind and consciousness has to move. until it moves you can’t go into full rapture. i have the same problem. i’m looking for a deepener that MOVES the mind. that’s the key to making this part work fully.
that can help. the rogue hypnotist’s symbolic and unicorn deepeners worked best for me to get me into medium trance, but i need something more than that to get all the way down to the floor level.
still looking
just found this: the sunnen hypnotic trance scale.
these steps are variations of the first few commands in autogenic training.
i’m thinking that turning each step into an autogenic command can turn that tech into a hypnotic deepener workaround.
the basic steps in the sunnen trance scale are:
sunnen trance
: you become aware of different body parts and organs.
: you relax different parts of your body and organs.
: your body slows down and you stop speaking.
: different parts of your body feel either light or heavy if light, you feel like floating away. if heavy, you stop moving.
: different parts of your body feel either warm or cool, usually warm.
: you become aware of your breathing and the energy circulating through you.
: you feel as if your body is growing until it is larger than the room you’re in.
: your body melts and changes shape.
sunnen deep trance
: you begin to ignore your awareness of your environmental surruondings.
: the voice inside your head recedes until it goes silent.
: you begin to ignore your awareness of time.
: your emotions recede until they are silent.
: images and sounds appear. you see colors and hear sounds, start daydreaming and hallucinating.
: the images go from beign pleasant and positive, to grotesque and infernal.
sunnen hyper trance
: you feel increasing energy vibrations and power going through your body.
: you feel a separation of your bodies: astral and mental apart from the physical, and then from each other. there are now three of you.
: you gain clarity and suddenly understand yourself and your universe.
: you feel serene, then enthusiastic and then positive.
: you feel universal love, then peacefulness, and then unity with the all.
would like to sit with the steps and turn them into autogenic commands, then try running that in an at session to see if they cut me through.
if it pans out, then i’ll post the full at practice up for everyone here to give a shot.
found this today: ways of creating effective deepeners
: exhaling with compounded suggestion, then silence: ‘every time you exhale, you will go deeper into trance.’ (repeat)
: counting with hallucinations: count the steps or floors as you go down/up a stairway or elevator, cars as they go by, etc.
: pyramiding inductions (repeating one induction after the other makes for strong deepeners)
: fractionation (going in and out of trance creates deeper states)
: a posthypnotic suggestion to go deeper every time you go into trance.
try these out with at and see what they do
well here ya go, fool. erik finally coughed up solomon’s key.
seems to me that you use entheogens to connect to something within you as some kind of teacher and guide. but you don’t use them for actual magick.
i guess this is the real hga rite: the process of taking substances to teach you who you are within, and then practicing magick to manifest your imagination into reality.
or nah. cos i may be wrong, but whatever.
now, off to find 5 grams of psilocybin so we can get on with these goddamned evocations.
i FINALLY got structuring yesterday for the first time. and here’s how i did it:
i rewrote the autogenic training protocol i learned from dr.kai kermani and i added the following sunnen trance commands to the affirmations after ‘my neck and shoulders are heavy:’
i feel energy moving through my eyes. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my ears. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my head. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my neck. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my shoulders. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my arms. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my hands. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my torso. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my waist. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my legs. (3 times) *
i feel energy moving through my feet. (3 times) *
i feel my body growing larger and larger. (3 times) *
i feel my body growing larger than this room. (3 times) *
i feel my body melting and changing its shape. (3 times) *
i lose my awareness of my environmental surroundings. (3 times) *
the voice in my head is quieter. (3 times) *
the voice in my head is quieter and quieter. (3 times) *
the voice in my head is quieter and quieter and quieter. (3 times) *
the voice in my head is completely silent. (3 times) *
awareness of time fades. (3 times) *
awareness of time fades and fades. (3 times) *
awareness of time fades and fades and fades. (3 times) *
there is no awareness of time. (3 times) *
emotions recede. (3 times) *
emotions recede further. (3 times) *
emotions recede further and further. (3 times) *
emotions are completely silent. (3 times) *
images and sounds appear (33 times) *
colors appear before me. (33 times) *
what colors appear? (33 times) *
i hear sounds. (33 times) *
what sounds do i hear? (33 times) *
daydreams flash before me. (33 times) *
what daydreams flash? (33 times) *
i see and hear hallucinations. (33 times) *
what do i see? (33 times) *
what do i hear? (33 times) *
when i said the i feel energy parts, i did feel the energy going through me, it felt like water was flowing around on the inside of me. not strong but i felt it.
i didn’t feel my body growing but i saw it in my mind’s eye, as if i was outside of myself, floating over myself. it was not a projection, just a mental projection, a visual.
i did feel myself melting but not changing shape.
when i told the voice in my head to grow quiet, IT DID. i finally got to the point where there was ZERO mental chatter. i actually stopped for a minute to see if the chatter would come back and IT DIDN’T. so if you do autogenic training and have a problem with mental distraction, DEFINITELY use that command, it may very well get rid of that problem for you.
when i said 'images and sounds appear i saw a flash of a 3D table made of glass. it was clear as day. the light began to shine completely differently and then i clearly saw it. i was not trying to see anything or straining at all, it just appeared and then it disappeared.
when i said colors appear, i saw a rainbow around the outside of my vision, but mostly purple and light blue. so i knew something was happening. then that disappeared as well.
when i said i hear sounds, some asshole who was near me began chattering in some wierd language and laughing like a hyena. at first i was like shut the fuck up you dildo i’m trying to work here, but then i said fuck it, let me utilize that and pretend that’s the sound i hear and i went on with it.
when i said daydreams flash, i actually did see a very quick one. i don’t remember what it was because i wasn’t taking careful notes, i was just trying the protocol to see if anything would happen. but i DID see a very quick daydream, and when i say quick it was over in about 3 seconds.
when i said i saw hallucinations i did begin seeing different objects. i remember seeing the table again, and then it changed into something that looked like a cross between a lobster and a squid. i was trying to figure out what it was but then i said fuck it, don’t pull yourself out of trance. it then faded and i saw a few more things. i began to write them down but that pulled me out of trance.
btw, i was reading this entire thing from paper. if i had memorized it or recorded the commands, i would probably have gone further into trance. if you want to do these protocols, record yourself saying them and repeat what you hear so you go into trance that way. then you’ll stay in trance and not be moving in and out of it like i do. it might give you better results to do things that way.
i’m going to try this again today and see if i get more structured objects.
after all of this time i FINALLY got another breakthrough.
the fact that i’m still stuck on this level after all these months…
it should not take this long to evoke. i’ve been at mastering evocation for more than a year and at evocation since 2006.
i’m going to have to seriously think about whether i should even be on balg if this is how long it takes.
i’m learning a lot but as far as actually doing an evocation, i’m moving backwards. i was doing more and better evocation work before 2011 than i’m doing now!
what gives?
I used to use a black mirror I made for about $10. Then I bought a black obsidian stone which cost $170 and somehow this made a difference. Or perhaps it was simply that I had practised - I don’t know. Others would say black mirror scrying is not true evocation. But the overall most important factor for development, IMHO, is the stability of one’s paradigm or Weltanschauung, or ‘model of the cosmos.’ - in short, one’s beliefs in how things should and will work.
i still have my black mirror but don’t use it as much as i should. distraction got a hold of me as usual. tell you what. i’m going to use it for the weekend and see if it helps get things going again.
next week if things are still stuck i’ll set up an appointment with either nate or alex and see if i can get this sorted out.
otherwise i’ll be outta here by next saturday.
i’m tired of fence-sitting. it’s put up or shut up time now, and the clock is ticking…