It’s strange really I pretty much woke up one day this way after conditioning myself to it. I no longer see the gloom as dreary, but I admire it for its passion.
Essentially, I pre-conditioned myself to see things in a new perspective, glass half full kinda junk, I did it to determine the effect it would have on my magickal practices. It’s insane how effective it is, I have such confidence I don’t question the practice. I could be considered insane if I told a shrink I know dragons are real now LOL.
I drive everyone crazy now though, I’m so positive people consider me negative and sarcastic. Beyond that, this boosts magick immensely it’s kind of scary, I’ve had one dilemma so far that’s caused me distress in regards to magick now and its because of too much info. Beyond that idk I feel different emotions, sensations like taste and hearing, I find myself admiring everything now and a constant draw for people around me, and I am very productive now.
it may be helpful to understand the mechanics beneath these thinking patterns.
The Brain tries to protect you from possible bad outcomes, and avoid those, by planning several different scenarios out.
You can actually use that in very effective ways, especially when working on behalf of others.
The key component inside of your brain, for this is your amygdalla.
It can be controled, both by mental aswell as by physical actions.
Rocking back and forth, doing pillow battles and spinning fast in one spot, help you by physical means to teach your amygdalla about what is actually safe, and stop it from “overworrying”.
In terms of meditation, you can create a Chi Ball, and focus your awareness into it,
flying that energy ball into your ball, into the space slightly below your agna chakra, towards the lower back of your skull.
The Energy ball, can heal, calm, or highten the sensitivity of your amygdalla, according to your will.
a very good aproach is to link it up with your heart chakra, so you gain increased control over your body,
and actually strengthen it’s capability of protecting you and keeping you alive.
-the better you’re protected against danger, the less reason it finds to activate fear response modes when there isn’t a real danger in place.
There’s also medications, which help artificially controling it.
Tavor, mirtazapin, seroquel, to name a few.
Those are usually given in psychatric treatments,
and shouldn’t be taken without medical oversight.
The issue here, is they can actually cause longterm harm,
aswell as suicides.
In fact, those medicaments are specifically known to increase the propability of suicide.
So i’d highly recommend you try to stay away from those,
unless you’ve got some solid mental defenses installed,
to aid you while under the effect of those medications.
the most effective, however, is to learn to shift your emotional focus.
There’s tons of content out there, on motivation,
and it’s commonly known, that inaction, and computer time increase the likelyness of depression,
while sport, especially performed outside, with fresh air around you,
highly increase your body’s processes of creating “happy hormones”,
like serotonine, also sunlight is a crutial factor in these processes.
So actually, playing beach volleyball,
things like those,
thelp you tremendously in changing your body-chemics.
You don’t need to aim to become the best player of the world,
in fact it’s much more healthier when you actually play it to enjoy and have fun with it,
then pushing a unneccessary rat-race into it.
Lastly, there’s a very neat special type of medicine,
called “eugenese”, where you’re specifically focusing,
on increasing all positive, happyness increasing behaviors,
while at the same time decreasing negativity, and stress inducing behaviors.
You can reseurch that for yourself,
my sister uses it to treat my traumatized neece.
(a highly intellígent child, which was bi-lingual at the age of 2,
and had to adapt to changing school several times due to her parents changing countries.
loosing her complete enviorment of friends each time they changed town.)
Check out “Happy Lights” aka as a type of full spectrum lights bulb as its supposed to reproduce what the sunlight gives. I tested it in a sharper image and it seems to work well. Try replacing the light bulbs in the house.
i use those for years now,
since i have a strong vitamin D3 deficiency,
i’m really grateful for having those.
From what i’ve seen, they can only do so much,
however, becouse basically unlike real “sun-bathing”,
your skin is almost fully covered most of the time,
and the skin is where the light would normally be absorbed.
There’s actually special beach clothes that had been developed,
to let sun light pass through better,
To do light healing against depression, for example,
you need around 8 kelivin and higher,
with at least 1000 lumen of light intensity,
those lamps do exist,
but are sold specifically for the medical purpose.
It’s a strange feeling – reading my old posts. Four years ago- and feels like a lifetime. How naïve I sounded – I’m frankly embarrassed. And yet I remember the very day– typing it out at my desk at a job I loathed, living with people I hated, in a terrible and unsuitable relationship.
Now I can answer my own question – yes- it IS possible to experience periods of total contentment – periods of PERFECTION. I did it, I achieved that. A few times over the past few years. And it felt good/fulfilling- and yet after a while it became…hmmm… dare I say – hollow? Dull? Superficial?
I started yearning for the trials of the LHP; on some level, maybe not consciously, but on a deep level- craving those experiences with carves out character/strengthens individuality/ initiates bouts of Gnosis that can only be gained after traumatic events. I started truly appreciating the value of initiatory tests, especially as I became acquainted with the Draconian tradition and realised this was the path I naturally gravitated towards.
And yet, when life is al pain and no pleasure; all strife and little reward – that is when I find the anti-cosmic urges start to overwhelm me- when I start to long for the silence and freedom of non-being. Annd then I remind myself I’m not quite done – there is more to experience/more to learn/more to BECOME. And maybe that BECOMING will for me eventually still be an UN-BECOMING – which was always one of my stated goals, probably still is, but I’ll figure that out eventually.
So I have found- as with most things – balance is the key. And it’s a fine line, a very fucking fine line- trying to discern what is a beneficial test/trial on your path and what is just- unnecessary bullshit. I doubt there is much initiatory value in a washing machine breaking
That perfect life? Can it be obtained from magic? I wish… You know that person who seems to have it all, living a life that many would consider “perfect.” A dream life filled with everything a tree that grows money, the ability to eat max junk food and not get fat, and relaxing afternoons lying on my couch, a high paying job with a lifetime of self- employment. An existence where nothing goes wrong and I seem to float effortlessly through all lifes troubles.
Despite the harsh fact that my life is quite the opposite of perfect, even bordering on chaotic at times, the ideas of flawless have followed me through part of my existence as though my soul knows no other way of existing. However, flawless is less than perfect and ideas of flawless can lead to disaster.
Everyone’s definition of perfect is different and, therefore, there is no such thing as perfection. The actual definition of perfect is according to a Google search: “having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be”.
A perfect life it is definitely desirable and filled with amazing qualities however almost impossible to obtain unless you believe in magic of course…
This is funny for me to say because I just came from the “Trust the universe” post and had a rant over there but I think once I did sort of… to make my irony more ironic I didn’t even use any conscious magick of any kind.
It was only a few moments and even within those moments I had a bit of monkey mind, even in that moment it was a struggle to stay in the moment, it was a moment where I had to try to stay present to really take in all the happiness, for a moment, I was close, sort of.