So the past week or so has been pretty fuckin interesting. Day by day, my preconceptions and buried ideals have been brought into the light, dissected and examined, and ultimately either reconfigured or thrown out entirely.
These include ideas or stereotypes that I havnt even truely believed, but still existed in my psyche from being part of this society for so long. Things like, “Black people are less intelligent”, “women are the weaker sex”, “any money you have must be worked hard for and earned”…the list goes on and on. Even If i never really subscribed to these areas of thought, it was pointed out how they still affected my decisions and courses of action in my day to day life.
And these werent just cast out with logic alone, Ive been put in situations that show me without a doubt that I have been wrong. A good example is my reservations involving vampirism. It was mentioned in communication with Dantalion that I should start practicing this more, both taking energy and giving, so that I may be better prepared for some crowded situations that will be coming up. I basically just said no, that I wasnt interested, to which I
received the reply, “you WILL be!”.
The next day I had someone give me the unusual proposition that they want to be my slave sexually. I wont go into too much detail on that, but it has definitely proven itself to be a great opportunity to practice this.
These types of new situations that im being flung into seems to be pretty commonplace with Dantalion. He’s said that he could preach all day on the aspects of morality, both beneficial and detrimental, but I would absorb it better through real experience. In going through the motions that are required to strip away my preconceptions, I get closer to the true mentality of a living god, working with both hands, as it were.
No longer am I concerned with the karmic backlash or moral implications of my work, both magickal and not. I still have great respect for my fellow human beings, but that doesnt mean I will hesitate anymore if someone gets in my way or I feel I have an “unfair” advantage. Its pretty cool, and I feel like every day I get closer to who I really am and who I used to be as well.
He even showed me a point in my life where things went very wrong for me, and what I did to cause that. About 10 years ago I had a girlfriend who was insistent that I share all of my deepest, darkest fears and insecurities with her. I didnt really have any, as I was more concerned with working on my ascent, but I wanted to make her happy, so I decided to tell her about the things in the back of my head that occasionally had me worried. Big mistake, by letting all those things out and acknowledging them, I gave them power over my life, which has been responsible for the absolute chaos of the past 10 years.
He has shown me that above all, in this life, your mental state is the most precious thing to take care of.
Finally, for those that have mentioned Dantalion’s “bite”, you werent joking!
I asked him what he required as an offering, to which he replied, “Just about anything will do in this case. Since it was I who came to You, the only thing required is an exchange of energy on your behalf. It can be anything, as long as it is offered in my name.”
Now, Ive never really done too many offerings, I havnt had the need really, so I just kinda dismissed what he said. (This wasnt a deliberate, 'yeaaaaah, take THAT, dantalion!"), I just really felt it wasnt necessary.
The next morning when I woke up, I had a boil on my arm almost the size of a quarter, with a bunch more, really small pimples running down my arm. Easily one of the worst infections Ive ever seen on my body. So I talked to Dantalion, and it was decided that burning my angelic sigils, as well as my SEQOR square in his name would be appropriate. Why? Because Dantalion could easily take care of the situations that I had these sigils made for. If I truely trusted him, then I should not need to put my faith in any other entities for that particular work. Made sense to me, so I did it, with a little white sage mixed in for smoke. I also then took a small amount of maple bourbon, put it in a glass, then put it inside my tibetan singing bowl on top of Dantalion’s sigil.
The next day, most of the pimples had disappeared. The giant boil shrunk to the size of a dime, and no longer had any pus or infection. Its taking FOREVER to heal though…its been about a week and a half, and there’s still a fairly large scab that looks red and angry.
I checked the glass…most of the bourbon disappeared, leaving a little bit behind in the glass that did not smell too appetizing.
My luck is coming back though, Ive been stumbling on money…my bank account magically has more in it today than was in there yesterday, and I havnt deposited anything. Every day there’s more offers for recording dates and gigs rolling in for my band, and I even noticed the gas gauge in my car go UP this morning! My next task for D will be to help me out of debt.
More to come!
