Hi everyone!
This is my public journal to not only help me keep the practice of journaling… but also take a step towards being more sociable.
I’ve been very comfortable my hermit stage, so keeping it public journal like this is a step into the discomfort for me. But let’s see how this goes.
Overall mood:
Decent.
- A little tired - working overtime
- A little melancholy - missing my husband.
Studies:
- Continued to research how sigils work. I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of how to work with them… still haven’t come up with a desire to test manifestation using sigils though…
- Listened to podcast from a couple practitioners that teach and make a living purely off of their magical practice… what’s that to me in particular was the warning of not getting caught up in other people’s journeys if you’re going to offer advice or take an interest in their journey. It’s always important to mind your lane and let their lane be theirs. The other message that stood out was how important it is to value yourself.
- Also learned a little bit more about mythologies and folklore… last night was Greek mythology. Really stood out to me how brutal some of the tales are.
- Learned about the snake totem. Really put the dream I had with the snakes in perspective… it’s about transformation and… well “doy” Asmodeus pretty much said that straight out in the dream… lol. I didn’t know about the snake totem then.
Rituals:
- Completed my New Moon ritual yesterday… I am manifesting this journal. Tada!
- Did my daily GCS (Ground, Cleanse, Shield) - felt more present afterwards.
- Spent time reflecting at Asmoday’s altar yesterday evening… lit incense, renewed the essential oil in the burner, cleaned the sigil. Disposed of the old offering and offered a fresh one in the offer bowl.
I felt his energy, a lot of tingling at the third eye again. He told me to loosen my restriction on my energy field and let it fit more comfortably… whenever I started to feel tension or a clenching of the jaw… I would consciously relax, loosen the restriction and let his energy just flow. Felt a little wobbly for a while after that.
After work - spent another 10 minutes with Asmoday’s alter before bed. Offered my menstrual blood as he requested… his energy was very strong afterwards for about an hour then I finally fell asleep…
Dreams:
- Had a very odd dream about… somehow I have talked my workplace into me attending some cult gathering on their company time… so I was getting paid to attend the seminar, while doing it for my own research or something…
I was one of the handlers of the event I guess… this is apparently marked by wearing a floral moomoo.
I was working with this one other woman, we were somehow making this girl levitate in the aisle… an older woman who is teaching us how to levitate this girl… the girl was getting anxious about me touching her nude body but she was wearing so many layers of clothes I thought it was a ridiculous concern. The only exposed skin was her hands and face.
I was about to calm her by offering tea, when the instructor cut me off and offered it first. She later chastised me for not offering the tea and asked what I would have done had she not been there to offer the tea.
At this point my workplace called and let me know that I would have to work a double shift because no one was there to take over the night shift.
So I left the seminar returned to work for “real.”
I got to work and a man was leaving the building, think he was my boss or something. I was very relieved to see him, gave him a hug and started telling him how much I disliked that seminar.
That dream faded away and I found myself in bed with Asmodeus. And he was hugging me instead of the man that was my “boss” …but then he was in me, holding me tight in my body. And I started to feel like I was being pushed down. Similar to the feeling I’ve heard people report during invocation. As if your consciousness is being pushed down to your stomach or something… and I thought wait a second I don’t want him to have control.
So I pushed back a little, I got a feeling for how powerful he is… he teased me a little bit about being sure I wanted full control back. And I was certain, yes. He just lifted me back up, the mood was all rather playful.
And it returned to the feeling of him being beside me inside and not on top or bottom, just inside&beside.