Magick & Sanity: Distinguishing Reality From Euphoric Disassociation

General Discussion
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There comes a point in every good magicians life when he or she is so enveloped in the darkness, so advanced in the black arts that they start experiencing the really crazy shit.

Seeing things they never thought were possible before.

Hearing spirits so clearly it’s as if another human is speaking to them.

Having visions and dreams that are SO real it becomes harder to distinguish visions from reality.

Having a constant feeling of floating, as if you are detached from your body but still “in it”. Like your body is just a machine (vessel of flesh) and you can literally feel your soul as a separate entity, just floating inside of the vessel it’s contained in.

Constant euphoria.

Developing Kinetic powers and things you never knew you were capable of.

Clairvoyant skills are so strong you can literally connect with any person and instantly feel their essence, their personality.

But all of this can start to make you wonder if you’re just going insane or you have just become one hell of a sorcerer.

How do some of you distinguish that line between, being powerful and connected with the source, and just being plain freaking insane? And when you find yourself staying up for 2 days straight with your head stuck in magick books and researching online non-stop like you are so thirsty for more knowledge that you literally just cannot stop.

And constantly craving MORE and MORE power, energy, and ritual. More connections with the divine! Craving to be detached from reality, disassociation. Sometimes even to the point that you become obsessed with Gods, Demons, Goddesses, anything dark, wanting to work with these entities as much as you can just so you can feel and connect with that beautifully dark and comforting energy they give off.

Craving that dark energy like a werewolf lusting after human flesh

Like a vampire thirsting after fresh type O+ human blood

Like a tiger waiting to leap out of a thicket, pouncing on its next kill

You simply can’t get enough of it. You start to feel incomplete if you are not actively doing magick and meditation, raising energy, researching, detaching yourself from your mundane reality and evoking entities 24/7.

The darkness becomes you and you become a part of it.
It is pure madness? Schizophrenia? Disassociate disorder?
Or a sign that you are truly on your way to godhood?

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I think that if you’re into it 24/7 with spirits, like I am, it becomes an important part of your life. There’s no turning back, once you get there.

The more I’ve got aligned to the ability to sense and feel energies, the easier it gets to interact with that current. I’m a part of that current, such as my spirits is a part my own current. Three separated entities - including myself - but also mixed to a force of ONE, a literal fusion made by the strongest emotion of love.

Whenever I go to sleep, the spirits of mine always cuddle up besides me and when that occur, I start to “float” or “sinking through the bed”. They often carry me around, walking on a “circular step”, or covers me with their hairs, sometimes even manifest through the bed to become more physical with me. I sometimes “float” up, down or forward whenever I commit to their energies.

Being fully conscious, and experience that as often as I do, sometimes questions my sanity. Yet it’s still as present and as powerful as it was a half decade ago, and I wouldn’t know what I would do if that ability wasn’t there anymore. Sanity? Madness? We can call it what we want, but it’s our experiences and ours to “judge”, “credit” or “validate”.

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What distinguishes the Mage from the madman is that the Mage knows how to use his “delusions” practically.

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I see people making their way to unlocking there higher capabilities and shown the whole reality. Something big surge in them then confuse them. Either they can hold the revelations or not, that’s what makes the difference. They either give up and go back to what they are before, mentally collapse that makes them crazy, or maintain their presence and continue advancing.

Those crazy people still hold on the revelations they got but they forgot their physical presence, obviously. So they are mentally more advanced than common people. They are labeled crazy by common people because common people can’t understand their higher mental operations. Wondering? Have you seen writings from some labeled crazy? They can basically write what they know but most can’t understand their portrayals;letters, signs, images, marks, …; simply because most don’t know their language. Or have you spoken to one? This is an easier way to get ideas from them if you wish to. Non if not some have tried this but if you do it will be rewarding. They can answer your question with their cazy ideas, at first seem useless, but not really. What language they use is the same as the language used by ascended masters. It may take sometime to analyze their words or just ask any spirit to translate them for you.

The latest one above are the continuing practitioners. But hell, we are still labelled crazy, insane, or wierdos, right? lol!

And Raven, haven’t you read about any article relating ADHD and Star/Indigo children.
I saw one of your comments, you still consult physicians concerning that ADHD problem. I’ve read some articles and they seem reliable enough. Just thinking it is one that holds you back from dealing more on your practice.

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I have also heard many say that the crazy is just part of being shown reality as it truly is, behind the scenes of how we normally perceive reality to be which most relgious people cannot handle so they are never priveleged enough to see and feel as we do, so of course when someone speaks of things that we cannot comprehend we tend to label and look for alternative reasons as to why this person feel this way, or says this, or does that. Even hardcore atheists are uncapable of seeing the same reality as we do, even though every one of them would beg to differ on that and would argue you to their graves that they are the only ones that know how reality truly is.

My atheist ex would literally argue with me over stuff like this non-stop. Seriously, 3 hours later and he’d still be going and I’d say would you just shut the hell up already! You’re not going to change my mind, nor am I going to change yours. Agree to disagree and shut your pie hole. He’d say, NO!!! Goddamnit you’re gonna listen to me! I am not stopping in the middle of this until you listen to reason. And I’d be like the middle of this? You’ve already repeated yourself twice, there is no need to force me to listen to you repeat yourself a third time and sit here for another 2 hours when I’d rather be listening to music and drowning your annoying voice out of my head. It never ended.

When I got with him he was a Satanist but he refused to apply himself, stopped meditating, started questioning everything, and began to slip away from his path then once he got his hands on the works of Dawkins, Hawking, and the like he went full blown atheist on me and starting insulting me for things he used to previously believe in. But he, of all people, was the one who mentioned the indigo thing to me. My ADHD-ness was starting to get on everyone’s nerves and affecting my adult responsibilities so I said, okay I’ll go see a doctor and see if they can put me on Ritalin since it worked really well when I was a kid.

He says to me, mental disabilities do not exist, it’s just a made up lie so Big Pharma and psychologists can make millions of dollars off of this crap and force feed meds down your throat that make you a slave to their health system. I’d be more inclined to believe you have the traits of an indigo child as compared to that ADHD bullshit. Of course, he made that comment back when he was still practicing Satanism. But yes I have researched into deeply. I had every single behaviorial trait on those lists but I was unsure what to think of it all, because the people that create those indigo/crystal children websites seem like a bunch of new age hippies on way too many shrooms.

It’s been several years, I will look into that information again and see if now that I have a better understanding for “the crazy” maybe it will make sense to me this time or might not seem so far fetched of an idea.

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The mode of logic necessary to navigate these waters is something the normal world considers madness.And they should.The fact still remains that we all believe in magical thinking and in voices in our heads,and those are some of the minor things here.

What exactly counts as ‘‘far out’’ varies from person to person.Some have seen and witnessed more insane things than others,and if a spirit tells me something incredible,to you that may be,‘‘meh’’,so there’s really no clear definition of ‘‘crazy’’ and ‘‘far out’’ stuff.

Do this for long enough,and you’re going to start seeing or hearing things that are insane.Refine your senses,and the line between the imagined,and the manifested,between the imaginary,and the real will blur,until the two merge.

You may be soaked within the spirit world,having lifted or completely removed the veil from around you,wherein ritualized sensations feel more real,and the stimulation of other senses is as real as your mundane was.When the ghosts you see are as physical as the meatsuits of the mortals you spend time with.When the application of will in a ritual,is a push with metaphysical muscles,that you can feel stretching just like physical muscles.Or when yous imply feel yourself slipping out of your body.

And you will eventually start seeing,and hearing weird stuff from spirits.The kind that if someone overheard you talking about,would mean an immediate visit to a psychiatric facility.

This is especially true if a lot of your work takes place on the astral,where big battles,and fantastical events are not only daily occurences,but they are also malleable that your imagination can literally make it seem like a daydream.

This holds even more true when you learn how to soul travel without engaging a trance,wherein it is almost like daydreaming,but is very much different.

It is advised to put crazy stuff in the Schrodinger Compartment or Kitty Box and ground yourself.Eva,amongst others,who have the privilege of talking to me on a regular basis,know that I have a hard time with this.Keeping things secret,separating them from my day-to-day life,and not talking about it,and keeping it in that maybe state of being real(kitty lives) or not(kitty dies) until it is applied and proven real or not.

Despite this,I try and work on keeping my work secret.I don’t post nearly as much of it as I used to,and don’t even talk about nearly as much of it as I used to.But I’ve still got a lot to learn in the realm of secrecy and the ‘‘occult’’ part of the occult.

In my opinion,you should explore this blurring.That when you do this,you may see just how pliable your world is,and have lots of fun molding it into YOUR world,which is more or less the whole point of power,to make your world yours.

I’m rambling.Meh.

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Also,very sorry for what you had to go through with your husband.I’ve heard about a million different stories about your time with him,and I completely agree with that.In my opinion,the materialist atheist skeptics are probably much worse than the religious zealots,IMO.

Since I know quite a couple of religious people who don’t like judging anyone’s path,and despite their faith in their God,and strong conviction that he will punish us some day,they have no trouble with people who fornicate,or don’t believe in God.

It’s those types of religious people that I can truly respect.The ones hat aren’t hellbent on converting you,or preaching or witnessing to you,but are happy doing their own thing and if something matches up with yours then yay.

How many of such religious people are there?Not nearly enough.But even the bad ones seem better than the ‘‘prove it to me’’ type of skeptics.

It’s just sad that those types of people are more or less omnipresent,and have articles around the internet like this.

In my opinion the only true way to convince such a person is to put a curse on them,take their life apart,but not kill them.A punch in the stomach,rather than a bullet to the brain.Then when you’ve ruined them enough lift them back up.Return to them all you took away,or get them an even better replacement,and elevate them.

At the end of it all,admit you did it.It’d seem crazy but at least SOME of the things that took place cannot be attributed to coincidence.Record your rituals,show them the notes,whatever,but odds are they will be convinced that magic is real.It just ruined their life and put it back together.

CHances are they’ll also be very very mad at you.You’re the psycho who brought a friend down like an enemy simply to prove a point.But at least they can’t deny it.

That’s more or less the only real method I’ve heard of to convince a material atheist skeptic magic is real.And as you can see,it takes a lot of energy that’s best not wasted.

Which is why it’s worth doing on those you see potential in.Not your annoying classmate who keeps calling you stupid.You have a right to religious expression and THIS is a form of it,no more delusional than the belief that the genie king rebelled against the all-powerful blob of everythingness and for that wants to lead people away into lives of sin,but never fear,for a middle-aged weirdo from the Middle East who’s face you can’t show will take down the idols of the city and turn it into a giant ritual temple…uh…I mean prayer place for all the people to worship in.

A jab at Islam was more called for on my part.We make fun of Christianity too much.

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[quote=“Arcane, post:7, topic:7255”]In my opinion the only true way to convince such a person is to put a curse on them,take their life apart,but not kill them.A punch in the stomach,rather than a bullet to the brain.Then when you’ve ruined them enough lift them back up.Return to them all you took away,or get them an even better replacement,and elevate them.

At the end of it all,admit you did it.It’d seem crazy but at least SOME of the things that took place cannot be attributed to coincidence.Record your rituals,show them the notes,whatever,but odds are they will be convinced that magic is real.It just ruined their life and put it back together.[/quote]

Been there, done that. It does seem to be the only effective way to prove magick is real to an atheist. I’ve had some of them harrass me non-stop because of my beliefs and, as you may recall, the jerk that threatened me and called me a scammer because I sell handmade wands, oils, talismans, etc. Someone else helped me with that guy, but the few times I have tried this it does seem to work.

Make their life fall apart and let them know every time you do. I usually send an email in response to whatever they sent me last, usually something like “Well, you won’t think I’m crazy anymore when this curse starts to take affect on you.” and of course they always say yeah right, bring on your ficticious voodoo hex satan demon curse, let’s see what you got!"

I usually reply with How’s your mom feeling? and they say, what’s that supposed to mean. I reply with Oh yeah I forgot, it probably won’t hit her until tomorrow evening but let me know how your mother feels tomorrow.
At first they think I’m just talking crazy but the next day their mother gets sick around 5 p.m. and they write me back, scared as hell. Just keep doing that to someone 2 or 3 times, tell them you will make something happen to them and be specific if you can, then a few days later writ e them back and say is your mother feeling any better now?

They will wonder how in the world you knew their mother was sick but then remember you telling them 3 days ago that something would happen. Do this enough times and they will be convinced. And it’s SUPER FUN to watch them squirm when they finally break and start believing and are suddenly scared half to death of you. Sorry, my inner dark sadistic side came out a little bit there. Happens sometimes.

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That kind of magick has also been used in some places in a more horific way, though phenominal.

Concerning that article, Well, the writer is quite smart. You may also want not to teach him through words. Match any words he got;

Evoke a demon. Say, “Show me your God” or “ofcourse, but i suggest you must evoke your angel first to protect from any harm that may come from my demon”

Show me some magick. I’d probably say," Well, can you perform some miracle? I am practicing doing some miracles and you obviously know how hard to do it."

There are also those vivid readers of bibles who spend a great deal of time memorizing every word from the bible and bear the pride of mistaken knowledge.

It’s hard to contradict their ideas if they hold on their belief on those words from the bible. Their vulnerability is that they didn’t know where the bible came from. That’s the easy part. You can say, " you’ve read the original untranslated text, the original words. And ofcourse, you need to have prepared some little knowledge. Like translating back the words to it’s original form.

Those apply but suits in different situations actually.

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Here lately my thirst for knowledge and the need to find my true purpose has been 10x more intense than it ever has before.

Every time I take just a short break from magick or studying, and by short I mean just 2 hours, long enough to shower and eat and maybe watch some Tv while eating, I start to immediately feel ungrounded and out of place, feeling sober again, the mundane version of feeling sober (feeling too connected with mundane reality) and that magickal intoxication, that natural high of feeling connected with the universe as one solid entity does not come back until I am immersed in magick or studying again with my upmost attention.

I used to only feel this when I’d go too many days in between my studies but now I can’t even seem to divert my attention away for just 2-3 hours to tend to my responsibilities without feeling this way. Don’t get me wrong, this is not affecting my responsibilities. I’m NOT neglecting my chores or my hygiene or basic bodily maintenance, it doesn’t have complete control over me or anything. I can still function as needed, this is more like a feeling of separation from my inner peace and my way of life when I move away from it even just temporarily.

It’s like the further I progress the more I can’t handle being away from magick, the more I feel like I’ve lost a big part of myself until I am done with my mundane chores and can sit back down and dive back into what I was doing. It seems to get worse the further along I go, the need to be inseparable from all of this. So don’t mistake this as full blown obsession that causes someone to neglect their chores, bills, etc. It’s not the same thing but it is a form of extreme obsession similar to an alcoholic that cannot afford their nightly tall boys, how they feel nervous, anxious, and on edge until they can scrounge together enough change to go buy a few beers.

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The materialist atheist skeptics and religious zealots. What’s the difference between them? Do they not both proselytize? And is not the great crusade of humanity to force conformity using coercing? Are we here any different? Am i? The thing i don’t really like about Soul Travel is the revelation that we really are one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. Makes me see just how much i truly HATE myself, i can’t think about it for to long or i will begin to feel that my total suicide by way of total genocide is the best use of my time:) The battle over what’s real and what’s not, will be fought every day by all magicians who lives in this system and with themselves.Life’s a wheel nothing more It goes round and around and a…
Sorry if i’m not making any sense or this adds nothing to the topic, i admit i’ve been working with 6 different spirits all week on different things and will add two more tonight, never a wise thing to do, but necessary,i need to feel all that chaotic energy to try to prepare for the real storm that’s coming my way or i’m rushing headlong into it giggling as i go. And anyway fuck safe and sane what good has it ever done for anyone… MADNESS IS DIVINEST=)

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My initial reaction to that was something that becomes that singular of an obsession doesn’t sound healthy, but I’m sure JS Bach was just as obsessed with composing music and Isaac Asimov, who published nearly five hundred books, was just as obsessed with writing, and you see where they stand in history today, so what do I know?

They obviously benefited from their obsessions and all the energy they put into them so I guess one question to ask is are the benefits of “magick” worth all the time, energy, work, and effort you put into it or are you wasting too much time for little benefit other than satisfying a mental craving? Would your life be improved by diversifying your interests more? Is the excessive amount of energy spent on your occult studies and practice serving your holistic growth or retarding it? Is it serving as a distraction from other aspects of your life and self that have room for growth but aren’t being given the attention they need?

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No, I would say that what you described Iam is the way I feel when I go sticking my head into other mundane projects. None of the other stuff I was doing before was making me feel satisfied, but this does in so many ways. My other projects were satisfying in some ways because I enjoyed them but they were things that never got me any money, never got me any recognition, the end result never helped me or anyone else.

I can use my skills and focus them towards the occult and still be fulfulling my needs to engage in those hobbies but now they serve an alternative purpose too. I mentioned on here that about 2 weeks ago I was doing nothing but useless human crap. I enjoyed it to an extent but I still felt like something was missing and my familiars started getting all over my ass for it saying things like, it would be one thing if your hobbies were actually bringing you true happiness but they’re not and you’re getting lazy and too distracted.

Get your head back in the (occult) game and get your butt in gear. They were literally getting upset with me for not focusing enough but they reminded me that I can enjoy my hobbies in other ways that fulfill me spiritually and magickally too. I also kept seeing 666 and 66 everywhere which in numerology supposedly means that you’ve got your head in the clouds, distraction, etc. so it makes sense. Once I started focusing again I saw 222’s everywhere and now 333’s so it’s a sign of progression.

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Charles9,

:diamonds:"The materialist atheist skeptics and religious zealots. What’s the difference between them? Do they not both proselytize? And is not the great crusade of humanity to force conformity using coercing?"
•Yes, I think they both do proselytize but they don’t both do it through coercing.

Those athiest skeptics, being skeptics, are more like just locked on physical, material world that is easier to understand . They do proselytize, incourage, through showing their materialistic skepticalism just like saying, “hey! the world is so simply visible. Why do you confuse yourself?”

While, those religious zealots
are more like blind beings(don’t know what they are holding on) and, being zealots, they just hold on up to the point when they already bear enough pride on their arrogance. That’s the time they proselytize through coercion. They can coerce, obviously because religions have their organizations that holds large number of believers like them, who blindly support them, in a specific place.

In other words,
Those athiest just don’t want to learn while those religious zealots just got some info but don’t want to think to learn.

:diamonds:" Are we here any different? Am i?"
If no one disagrees, with the explanation above, I say ,“Yes, definitely.”

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That makes me sad, I felt kind of the same way all my life (not with the “genocide” bit, it was “me” I wanted to erase), and then I realised it was only half the picture, and that I COULD be the causal force in my own creation, then found and embraced the Left-Hand Path, and it’s all been deliciously amazing since then. To be freed from that suffocating death-drive is wonderful.

Not sure what to say to help you grasp that new zest for life, but maybe try summoning a spirit (doesn’t have to be demonic) to fall in love with, as a start?

They can get invested in you and help you embrace life. :slight_smile:

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Never post or drive a car right after an evocation, as i don’t remember writing any of that.I’m literally doing 6 of them a night for the last 5 days and trying to be “mr. normal” by day is taking its toll, pumped full of energy but feeling a wee bit bat shit crazy right now=) Looking it over i think the point i was trying to make was the very idea that i may have anything in common with some kinds of people, child molsters or politicians pur say, makes me physical ill, say it ain’t so. But don’t worry about me. I may have no use for things like eternal love or peace, but eternal amusement? Mmmm Now that’s a dragon worth chasing;) Anyway i really like this topic.

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I know the feeling, all too well actually.

Something literally takes over me on occasion, most commonly after an evocation, especially if I was asking lots of questions and not only puts all this new info in my head but makes me kinda get on here and say things that don’t make much sense the next day, well they make sense but they sound weird, crazy, or I don’t remember writing them.

But when that happens I learn some very intelligent and thought provoking things so it’s not a bad thing.

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Oh good, there’s no point in being gloomy and life’s actully amazingly good when you stop thinking there’s anything much to give a fuck about, except projects, and fun. :slight_smile:

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Oh good, there’s no point in being gloomy and life’s actully amazingly good when you stop thinking there’s anything much to give a fuck about, except projects, and fun. :)[/quote]

Im sure I would push a button if I defined “Love” right here. Everyone wants to believe it must be a specific thing. There are many forms of Love and I know many will disagree with me while going to simultaneously validate my point. Love is rather something that when engaged can FULLY engage you, which means it is about what makes you Burn to Live where life is very much worth while and worth Burning for. Sex? That is love to some. Eternal amusement? That too. Affection or Unconditional thoughts or feelings? That is also Love. Anything and everything that fully consumes you with the Grip of Life and Death, while making you love every minute of it is an Act of Total Love. So yes to some projects and fun may be a sense of Love.

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You say tomato i say ketchup…=)