Mad at myself

I did my first evocation with Haures tonight. I’ve been waiting for over a month to do this and finally felt “ready”.

I’m using Gordon Winterfield’s ritual 3 for this and everything was going perfectly - I was able to totally zone out, the entire room disappeared and I felt like I was in another realm - until I called his named, heard a loud bang on my wall and the air changed. I saw nothing though. Embarrassingly, I felt unsure of myself then, got nervous but managed to make my request/offering and then closed it down.

I ended up rushing through and skipping some parts. I didn’t feel anything negative at all, it was 100% my nerves that just kicked in right when that loud bang happened. I feel more prepared now since I’ve at least done 98% of the ritual …as much as I believe, there is always that lingering doubt and I think actually hearing/feeling this presence knocked that doubt right out of me.
I needed that, but I also still need Haures, so do you think it would be okay to try again tomorrow night?

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There are a lot of douchebags on this forum in charge and some that are not in charge who Would probably say something rude as fuck or treat you as if your arrogant for asking questions so thought I’d be the nice guy to respond. I definitely think you Should try tomorrow with the ritual. Take it slow and steady and do all the steps required. But most importantly stay calm if something does happen and enjoy the experience.

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Nobody here is rude with anyone for asking questions. But when people join, then after 5 seconds start asking a question that was asked and answered hundreds of times before, it would be rude not to suggest to them to search the forum before asking.

Members waste their time, energy and share their experience with others, expecting nothing in return. At least, they should know their work is not going to be lost in couple of days and nobody cares to even take a look at it. Why would anyone bother to answer or share anything in this case?

And that doesn’t happen with all questions asked by new members. Only the repeated questions already answered hundreds of times before.

You are a new member yourself joined 3 hours ago. And you’re starting by insulting other members, “ones in charge and some that are not in charge” calling them douchbags… not a good start and not a wise thing to do in a forum full of experienced magicians, many of them practicing the arts before you were born.

:slight_smile:

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You should be ok to try again whenever you feel is best.

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Go there and make your own intro. You need to have a thick skin here. No one is picky on you. We have rules around here.

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/c/new-magician-help

And push _ new topic_ button on the right upper side.

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Nah man. One im not new. I had a account that i lost the password to that was here for quite a while. I know quite a bit of people here. Some are pretty chill and others not so much. Not trying to pick on anyone in specific. I hate how most of what i say is taken out of context. Then again i have terrible wording choice when texting and in real life lol

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And no offence or anything but im not afraid of a bunch of magicians on a forum. Last time i checked people dont usually waste their energy and time to cast hexes and shit on a online forum to others. There are so many variables to consider when doing such things. :blush:

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Yeah you might want to check that attitide at the door, the problem with telling a new person who has just signed up to expect rudeness is that it’s against the rules, sure people may challenge someone who is being exceptionally needy, asking for help and not doing even the smallest bit of research, for reasons I just now described here, but these are our forum’s rules:

So this forum is NOT a flamewar friendly community where you have to go in with your defences up before even daring to post.

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I would wait, realizing that it is one of your first rituals and you did receive quite a response, you have been heard. See if your ritual requests are met. You might recieve other signs, although nervous about the results it could still be a success.

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I think a lot of people who are new are still stuck in the victim mentality and probably don’t even know that they are or what it is. I noticed that whole side of things comes along with lazyness, making excuses and a whole host of other bad attributes.

I think that when they get here and meet a bunch of people on the other end of the spectrum who don’t tolerate such attributes in themselves and frown upon them in others. I believe they suffer a little culture shock if they survive it they go on to shake off the dumbass if not they run away crying.

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If you made your request, you probably don’t need to go at it again, but i dont think it would hurt. You will only know if it was a success or failure if you see the result you asked for

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Thank you everyone for your replies! You all are wonderful and so helpful. I woke up this morning feeling amazing …the first time since my “target” harmed me, that I’ve woken up with a smile on my face and not full of pain. I did tell Haures I would like to contact him again, not because I doubt him, but because I don’t want to feel weak or afraid of anything anymore (I’ve been that for far too long) and shortly after received an ongoing sign from him. I don’t know if this sounds weird or not, but I feel so strongly connected and protected by him and I’ve not even seen or heard him.

Also, I’m not sure what happened with my thread. I am very, very careful about using the search bar before asking questions and I don’t believe I post a multitude of questions - I believe I’ve posted only 3-4 (including my introduction) in a month, maybe? I am not looking to anger or annoy anyone though so I will reevaluate my posting history and hopefully avoid doing anything incorrectly in the future.

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Don’t worry about it man. People lost their shit over a thread I made about the meaning of two words. You need a thick skin here and ignore some people that have a stick up their butts.

You can flag a post by hitting three dots and the litttle flag if someone is bothering you. I tend to ignore people that don’t get what I am saying or explain myself if I feel like it.

If they continue to be rude report them to our Lady Eva and she will set things right.

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I agree with @Purple. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. If you are just starting things will take time. I tried " a trick" from one of Ea’s videos but I found out my nerves are working too well, too. :smiley:

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