Lupos Nightkind Journal on Personal Path of Ascent

This is the first thread I’ve started anywhere on a public forum detailing my own spiritual journey in its entirety.

I want to start by saying that I have read and meditated on many different paths, including religions, treating religions like pathworking exercises as well, and therefore never really joining anything for a great deal of time.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of some of the pathworking I have taken:

  • Ár nDraíocht Féin
  • Black Magick
  • Catholicism
  • Church of Satan
  • Church of Scientology
  • Dark Paganism
  • Eckankar
  • Goetia
  • Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn
  • Jedi Realism
  • Sith Academy (Sith Realism)
  • Stregheria
  • Temple of Set
  • Temple of the Vampire
  • Werewolf Cathedral
  • Wicca

I’ve concluded that I am not of any one path, that the path I take is my own, and that the only true path is the path of spiritual ascent into my own Godhood - or knowledge, gnosis, and power – unique to me, through my own understanding of what I experience. What I experience is true, because I have experienced it, because I have verified its truth. This Godhood then improves my life from the most mundane level to my highest aspirations.

Once I came to that realization, I stopped going in circles and started to really think about why I wanted to work with that path, what I would gain, and what the outcome may be. The result is that several times I did go in circles again, but I always had a reason.

The years have given me the strength and courage to never be intimidated by a path, and to explore it with the intention of seeing what kernel of wisdom I can obtain from it. When this maturity occurred, I can honestly say I started to form my individual character and spiritual identity that was uniquely me.

Also, combining verified truth with actual experience interacting, I learned what spiritual powers worked with me and which didn’t and therefore, my own journey led me to an understanding of my strengths. My strengths are:

  • magick – which I identify as the active spiritual element of working with items in nature, using items as tools for your own purposes, sigils, talismans, ingredients, combinations, ritual, energy, symbols of other items, substitutions, and using said item(s) energy and vibrational qualities to produce a desired result
  • vampirism – the active spiritual understanding of energy transfer, how to make contact, absorb energy from astral connections, giving energy, break connections, and how it relates to human interaction on all levels
  • diabolism – active interaction with spiritual beings that are egregores or channels of our inner consciousness and therefore of the larger collective consciousness and have intelligence in themselves

I see God as every physical being, object, material and immaterial, intelligence, consciousness, and plane of existence, and every negation of it – basically everything in existence and yet he is nothing. I say this because to be everything is to be nothing at all since you encompass every aspect of creation and non-creation, both intelligence and non-intelligence. In that sense then, like a plant that has power and vibration, so too does what we perceive as everything in existence/non-existence. It has a power and energy signature that, has its own identity and representation. Does this mean I believe in God? As much as I believe in the power of the magick of a fennel stock. I don’t place any more weight or consideration of God than that.

The reason why God carries no more weight than that is because existence cancels non-existence. Intelligence cancels non-intelligence. Therefore, power and authority cancel out a lack thereof. In this way then, God is the all-encompassing aspect of existence. As even the Catholic theologians would say, he is the statement ‘I am that I am’ and the secret of this principle is that our existence, the ‘I am’ is directly integrated with our own survival, and existence can’t be worshiped more than ourselves. Therefore, we are our own true Gods, and the dream that is life – both waking and dreaming experience – is the final and real reality.

Because of my strengths and how I perceive God to be, I identify the most with any tradition that combines all of these. The closest I have found is here, in this forum with the practices of everyone here.

I want this journal to be about my pathworking moving forward because I am moving ever closer to this current.

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I am currently reading and meditating upon Black Magick of Ahriman. I really appreciate this book because it has opened ways of viewing reality and the powers associated with magick in a bold new way. These are my favourite quotes from the book:

“We must be liberated from the influence of religious principles, social constructs; and political associations. We must refuse to be influenced by what others think because the fact is that most people do not really think at all.” p. 59

“This work is to explore the vast potential of self and it is to explore just how far human potential can be pushed toward divinity. It is to shine your own inner spiritual flame upon that which is hidden in darkness for the sake of facing your fears to grow and expand consciousness and awareness of the totality of all existence. Especially that which is beyond this realm of limitation.” p. 81

Reading this book is a stepping stone for me, but practicing it’s magick didn’t work out. I think in many ways it is too foreign, too focused on a path that does not synergize well with my own process.

I have had visions when I first cracked this tome open, and they were powerful and prophetic, but I knew even then that I could never pathwork this book to it’s entirety. But because the call of this book was strong, the place of this knowledge so important to my perspective on the Black Sun and how religion started in our culture, I knew reading this book was an important step in my evilution.

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I purchased Compendium of Belial and read through it and I really liked it. The book is a gateway, a key into the concept E. A. Koetting is stressing and manifests with the pathworking of each of the 9 Gatekeepers. This is the concept of a higher evolution of mankind.

I think this idea is already manifest since I see changes all the time to our society. I used to marvel at the stories told in the Bible and in the books of the occult that I read, and I tried to imagine if the ancient stories were true. If there really were Magickians with godlike power, doing strange and marvelous things. I remember once as a young man at mass and the priest saying these stories were true, and that Jesus Christ, by manifesting in our world, changed our relationship with heaven and banished Satan into hell, thus rendering the powers of the Magickian powerless.

The Bible speaks of Magickians, but I noticed it never mentions hell. Now of course, I know the truth of what the pries was saying. By the influence of Christianity, and the burning and pillaging of non-Christian belief systems, the influence and power of the Magickian became dormant and hidden. Since heaven is not real, nor the story of the Bible, it is us here and now that make the reality of the dream. The Black Mass televised by Anton LaVey opened the gates of hell anew, so does the pathworking here of the 9 Gatekeepers.

The one thing I don’t agree with is that this is a new state of evolution of mankind. In my opinion, this is a return to the world we knew before there was Christ and his people. Before the time of Ahura Mazda. A world of Magick and wonder, and a civilization of tribes and Gods and Goddesses.

I read through the book, I liked it, and recently while communing with Belial in meditation, Belial stepped down from his black throne, vomiting black ichor and marking me as his own. The gateway is now complete. Belial, Without a Master is here.

I must admit that although I communed with Belial, and spoke with him and he asked me to be in his army, I never went farther than that. I could have, I could have gone all the way and really allowed his magick to take full effect but I didn’t. I could have explored the mysteries of each author, done pathworking and true full possession, but I didn’t. Again I must say that this book wasn’t what I was looking for. It wasn’t what my heart and my soul desired most. Magick is practical, and serves the purpose of the Magickian. But you have to want it. The magick has to speak directly to every fiber of your being. If you are someone who is magickal in every way, and willing to make the commitment of going all out with every book and grimoire you encounter, then yes, it can change and manifest and you can be powerful and truly great.

I have a job, and I live with my wife whom I love, and a pet, and I want the magick of a grimoire to be a part of my spritual system. But it isn’t everything. I have limited experience and ability and it is because I choose to. I want my life to be about more than just magick. But I still want a pathworking system that can aid the magick I do now.

I learned a lot of what I know and experience from the magick from this website, from Become A Living God. I have had the most success from the Black Magick: The Left Hand Path video course by E.A. Koetting, and it has had the benefit of assisting me with an addiction I couldn’t otherwise defeat. So I owe everything I know about magick ritual to that course. Also, the power I needed to manifest the magick I did was from my experience as a Vampire. So although I am very thankful to E.A. Koetting for everything this website offers, for having the courage to make everything here possible, and putting up with all the haters and trolls, I also have other sources. But I do want to say thank you from every corner of my heart and soul for doing this E.A. since it did change my life for the better.

Right now, I am moving away from Vamparism and away from the more Hatian Voudon spellcasting I have been practicing, and I am now using Runes. I also purchased Heathen by Asbjorn Torvol and I am excited to read that book and see if it will inspire my current magickal system.

In the past, I did buy Rituals of Pleasure by Asenath Maison but I could tell that there was some sort of curse or magickal spell placed on me as I opened the pages. It was as if I couldn’t fully immerse myself in that book. Since I have had success with other books, I know it wasn’t from my discomfort on the subject. But then again, even I have enemies and people who think they know better, influencing my decisions and directions I take, so it’s no surprise. If anyone is reading this, know that there are people watching and monitoring this website. There are people that would do things to halt your decisions and goals. Protect yourself and those you love. I know I am.

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The book ‘Heathen’ by Asbjorn Torvol has been in my possession now for about a month. I have begun to work the pathworking with intention. I am open to the changes it is making in my life. It has opened up my mind to the possibility of better relationships than I now have. Where before my relationships were toxic, all of them now are completely improved or non-existent (I had to end some very important relationships in the last month). It has made me stronger, and more aware. It has opened up my third eye even more. The most amazing thing about obtaining that book has been that I am now free of schizophrenia. I freed myself from two addictions, I learned to appreciate all forms of life, and I found my wife and most rewarding relationship with the help of magick, but I never thought I could defeat an illness with the power of knowing that what I experienced when I was first diagnosed was conditions common to Shamans, and having the confidence and awareness to take action and end the illness completely.

With the freedom my mind now has, I have also been able to connect to my Spirit Animal and learn what it is. Also, the Spirit Land Animal. A week ago, I talked one on one with E.A. Koetting and I watched a video beforehand where he discussed the idea of people being ‘Dragons’. I had heard of Dragons symbolically in my experiences with Temple of the Vampire and I wanted to learn if other people thought they had the spirit of the Dragon. I told E.A. in my conversation that in my Spiritual Journey where I was a wanderer for two months, I fought a green dragon for two or three days. Eventually it consumed me completely and I thought that it was over. The experiences I had after that were two experiences, I thought at first was Belial and Lucifer possessions. What they were really are this Dragon spirit that was now in me teaching me what Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine are experientially and even having these experiences save me. This powerful and majestic spirit was my Spirit Animal! I know because E. A. said that this spirit wasn’t defeated or I wasn’t defeated when he consumed me, we became as one.

The Spirit Land Animal is a lone black wolf, that I have had a dream or two with, and also represents the journey of my spiritual direction and experiences. The best way I can describe it is with the concept of the entity Fenrir. In the Younger Edda, we learn that Fenrir can break any chain, and that the one that finally tricks him and binds him is made by Dwarves. But the most important thing I realized is that the items that were used to make the chain – noise of the footfall of a cat, the beards of women, etc. are all things that don’t exist. They are fabrications of our minds. So, the breaking of chains, of freeing myself first, from bad relationships, two addictions, isolation from an inability to connect with someone, are all things that I broke on my own. The ultimate chain that I broke, as Fenrir himself, was the fetter that was within my own mind. So, madness is the ultimate trap according to the Younger Edda. This whole idea, and the fifteen years it took for me to break free, are all examples why the path of the lone black wolf, a sometimes dark and isolated path, and the freedom from madness as Fenrir himself, is the path I walk.

I want to expand on something here that I came to realize in the last few months. The first thing is that magick is black or white, meaning there is Right Hand Path (RHP) and Left Hand Path (LHP) and each is exclusive to each other without any grey area.

I would define a middle path as being the path of the Witch who calls herself/himself true to the balance and purity of true magick and either is exclusive to or inclusively white and black. Therefore, they are Grey Witches. I say Witch because it is more common for this to be from a Witch than any other type of Magickian. I really like Timothy’s definition of grey magick or middle magick in a video he made. This is how he summarizes it:

“Grey magick as a form of intellectual negligence, that stems from a lack of comprehension between the logical principles of the LHP and the religious beliefs of the RHP.”

“The alleged Middle Path confuses ethics and epistemology, and therefore erroneously calls the discussion between the LHP and RHP stupid. However, no fictional grey area exists between rational agnosticism and faith-based gnosticism. A person cannot be a half-atheist or half-believe in karma because principles are universal.”

With Timothy’s definition of the difference between the Black Magickian and the White Magickian, I am not a Grey Magickian, I am most definitely a Black Magickian.

I had visions that include a vision of myself as a Magickian, with a Magickian’s robe and staff, and the Dragon within. The color of the robes of my Magickian self was grey, not black. So then if I am a Black Magickian, how is my robes grey and not black?

The answer is focus of color correspondence. Like the Wolf, who has a grey aura, so too is there a correspondence to the color grey. I remember seeing Grey School of Wizardry early in my exploration of magick. I never joined but I noticed they have specific colors associated with each department. The color grey is related to “Lore” and on the website it says:

“Lore means “teachings,” and Lore Mastery is all about knowing arcane (hidden) secrets and esoteric mysteries known to very few others. It is said that “knowledge is power,” and much of a Wizard’s true power comes from his vast knowledge. Lore particularly concerns myths and legends; a Lore-Master is also a storyteller, who can always come up with a tale to make any point.”

And of course, there is specific energy from grey, including the description that grey is a conventional color, being midway to white and black, symbolizes conservativeness, sophistication, practicality, maturity, reliability, and elegance. On the contrary, it even stands for dullness, depression, and loss.

When I path work, I need to understand the mystery and definition of each pathworking I do and evaluate if it is what I need and require at any given time from a position of neutrality and practicality. So, because I have a grey focus, I see the emphasis on the ideas of Lore and the studies and subject matter relating to magick. Jungian Psychology is related and tied to this color correspondence with the idea of archetypes, both in psychology and in myth – which are directly connected to the human experience. I know this type of psychology very well, even down to the architectonics of the ego and subconscious functional axes. This is something most people gloss over or don’t study to great depth when they study Jungian Personality. So, the study of archetypes is especially important to me.

I speak to spirits, other Magickians, Gods and Goddesses and other types of entities and it is not schizophrenic, but it is like speaking to a part of myself that is connected to the entity or being of who I am talking to. I learn the most about magick from these conversations. This is how I talk to the Dragon. I mention this because each entity I speak with has a certain character and archetypal energy and I evaluate when to talk to who based off of what would be most practical in the event I need assistance with. I work with entities and build relationships with them, and use that interaction to make changes in the physical. This is exactly Shamanic, and it is why I am a Sinister Shaman (Black Magickian + Shaman) and therefore the relevance of the path of the Vitki.

So, although I have a correspondence and nature outside of the Dragon self that is grey, connected to my land animal spirit the Wolf, it is not a term I use to describe ethics, epistemology, or beliefs. These fall into the category of a Black Magickian.

Every beginning has an ending, and I see now that my journey here with Black Magick has ended. For the last twenty years I have studied many religions and I can honestly say that there has never been a path I truly called my own. I seem more to be a wanderer and a friend to all who I come across, and all paths do in fact have something to teach.

The very first post I wrote here in this journal was in reference to God. I see now that even though Black Magick is separate and unique from God, and is by definition the journey a soul takes away from God, towards being a God themselves, there is always the concept of God that looms largely in its wake. Therefore, the highest understanding of the Left-Hand Path and the Right-Hand Path can be achieved with meditation on the Sephiroth and the Qliphoth, which I have now been doing lately.

I would say that the most important thing I learned in the last twenty years is that the Left-Hand Path and the Right-Hand Path are two sides to the same coin, since the Sephiroth and the Qliphoth are also in the same vane, although to embrace the Left-Hand Path is to be liberated from the Right and be knowingly apart, which in itself is the reason why it represents it’s opposite. So, the use of opposites is key. The use of duality is key. One exists along with the other. Even though one can say that to be your own God is to break free from God, the concept of maintaining one’s identity of a Black Magickian requires some attachment to the path of the Qliphothic current.

This then would be an argument against Timothy’s definition of Black Magick and White Magick. It would simply require someone to break away completely from this constructed duality entirely. Then it’s no longer a question of one or the other. One is free to believe whatever they want without some force attaching them to either.

So that is what I have done now. I no longer identify as a Black Magickian. As a matter of fact, I no longer connect with any diabolic entities, or consider myself a vampire. I know how to distance myself from these forces, and I can honestly say that I don’t think I need either.

So the last twenty years has been my own personal journey away from God, and I believe I have achieved that to a level I am comfortable with.

The Spirit Journey I had with the dragon, and divine masculine / divine feminine have dominated my thoughts lately as well. I also know that it is no coincidence that the one God I experienced before my eyes was Thor while I was on my Spirit Journey, and that my liberation from mental illness involved studying and practicing magick from Asbjorn’s Grimoire was no coincidence. I think I have not placed enough weight on the experiences of my Spirity Journey as I should have from the beginning. But then again if I did, I wouldn’t be here writing this, and I wouldn’t have learned all of what I know now. Also, the medication I was on was severe in its ability to cloud my mind of my own subjective experience.

All I can say is that I am now separated from the Sephiroth/Qliphoth duality, that I have achieved a degree of illumination from my journey of the last twenty years, and the journey I am now on is unpacking my Spirit Journey in it’s entirety, and this will be done in a written journal and not here.

But to say that this journal was not valuable would be a lie. To say that all of what I read and learned as a Black Magickian would also be a lie. The most important part of separating oneself from something requires one to respect the power it can hold on you, and fully knowing that to separate from it requires embracing it’s opposite as much as the thing that held you captive in the first place.

So, the last forty years of my life will not be about the Right-Hand Path or the Left-Hand Path. They will just be about me, and what I bring to the world.

Before I discuss the journey I have taken in this last while, I first want to talk about deity. To me, deity is a part of collective consciousness or web of wyrd. They are intelligent entities with this web, which means they are a part of us, and they are like individuals at the same time, but only manifest in the web. Therefore, there is truly little difference between an angel, demon, folk spirit, or even a god or goddess. They only vary in alignment, influence, and popularity. As a matter of fact, it is popularity alone that makes them strong or weak. They themselves are empowered by those who appeal to them. Therefore, vampires can be gods as well because of how they experience immortality. They become intelligences themselves in the web that are empowered and sustained by the energy they obtain from others.

In my time since I last wrote a journal entry, I realize now that extraordinarily little of my actions have changed. I have not given anything up like I thought I would or changed anything. That is because as I started to explore the realm between dark and light, I realized that there was no separation between what I was doing as a Black Magickian and now. All I was doing was refining my own personal Apotheosis. I was becoming the god I was trying to create in the first place.

I took a deeper look at the Spirit Journey I had by discussing it with demons and goddesses and even what I believe to be the soul-to-soul interaction with other occultists. I am tremendously grateful to those occultists and I am grateful to have the ability to do so.

I learned that it was the lion headed, snake bodied spirit of Samael and not a green dragon that I battled and possessed me, and how I learned the capacity to be a Black Magickian. This was the spirit of what I thought was Divine Masculine. The purpose of that possession during the journey I had was to awaken to Becoming, to look within myself and begin the process to Ascend, a process I let stagnate by being medicated with schizophrenia – something I could have avoided. But being medicated was necessary for one important reason, to be with the people that needed me. After the possession I experienced a lesson transmitted from Samael about auras – strictly those relating to greys and browns, black and white, and the nature of deities, specifically the deities of ancient Rome. This inspiration and guidance from an entity is truly extraordinary. But I did not act on it as I should have. There was too much baggage and programming from my Christian background to really see how monumental that gift was. I decided that I had this to work with and I would do so at home with my family even though their influence on me (through no fault of their own other than what they think is right and good) caused me to be medicated and prevented me from allowing that growth to manifest.

So, because I chose to return to my family to be a part of their lives, I had the second inspiration, a possession from Mary, Queen of Heaven. This was the spirit of what I thought was Divine Feminine. She was intelligent, feminine, intuitive, compassionate, confident, and pious to God. I was in despair, I had a heart palpitation, I was alone, and I thought I was near death. So, the purpose of knowing her as I did was to heal my broken heart and open myself to Christianity in a way most people do not understand. It was as much for those around me, in my city, and my family and friends as it was for me. She did not exactly say I was pure or deserving. I think those around me in my life are the deserving ones.

In the last nine months, I learned skills in building healthy relationships, something I have been lacking. My mind continues since last May to repair and heal itself from schizophrenia, a process helped by lifeforce healing, meditation, and personal growth – which helps grow the mind out of a state of mental illness.

I saw the Great Grey Wolf spirit descend on me at Halloween. I knew when I saw it, I was to become a Werewolf, and that that is the only label I am to apply to myself other than Black Magickian. It was the October Full Moon, a moon farthest from the earth and occurred at Halloween – a hunter’s blue moon and all a rare and monumental occasion.

“Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.” - Sir John Talbot

My namesake, Lupos comes from Lupercus, a god of illumination, a wolf headed god. My birthday is the traditional day of the Lupercalia, February 15. I am large with a hunched spine, long arms and legs, hairy, dense skin. I can be aggressive and cold as easily as I can be kind and casual. I have had nightmares since I was young about being chased by wolves that eventually stopped after I defected from Christianity. I am cautious, intelligent, carnal, passionate, and sexual by nature. I experience heightened senses, I do not get sick, I heal quickly. I live in Alberta, a region known to donate it’s wolf population to other parts of the world since ours is one of the healthiest anywhere. Monkshood calms aggression, lust, and appetite for red meat when I put a few drops of it in a water diffuser. When I did that and noticed real results, I knew that I was and always have been a Werewolf. I focus on my desire alone and have a personal approach to the occult like Austin Osman Spare whose book “Ethos” was the book I read when I first arrived in United States in the first month of my Spirit Journey.

Since Autumn I have been focused on learning as much as I can about Lycanthropy and working on a ritual that is to be practiced on the Full Moon. I think about not only the nature of the ritual, but also the meaning and importance of it to the Werewolf. I have been meditating on how the Werewolf relates to those around him, what he/she represents. I have performed a rite of dedication to the Werewolf path and to Marchosias, who has helped me along my journey so far. I was inspired by Cody Magus’s “Rite of the Werewolf” in Anthology of Sorcery Volume III, S. Connolly’s “Basic Self Dedication Ritual” , and Michael W. Ford’s book “Book of the Witch Moon”.

In much of the literature I have read about Werewolves relating to the occult, we do not have any record other than initiation rituals. There is also no spellbooks or tradition, or even a philosophy that is strictly by and for Werewolves. The most I learned from was Michael W. Ford, his work on the subject is the most involved and the most accurate to my knowledge up to this point. I know there is Christopher Belmont Johnson’s books and his group, but they are small and from what I can tell not currently active. Right now, there is the perspective that Vampires and Werewolves are the same thing. That the shapeshifting ability of a Vampire is the Werewolf. I see the Black Temple and the Red Temple as distinctly unique to each other. You can shapeshift and become a Werewolf if you are a Vampire, but that is not being a Werewolf, or at least what I have come to see as one. One (the Vampire) is a refinement to a God, and the other (the Werewolf) is a regression to an animal – an atavistic, savage, primal, and still magickal being. My own personal journey includes Vampirism, so it is hard for me to tell if you can be a Werewolf without ever being a Vampire. Christopher Belmont Johnson has had the same experiences so there must be a connection. Labels often take away from our experiencing the truth of the situation, but I know that if you label yourself a Werewolf and not a Vampire and focus on that and distance yourself from Vampirism entirely even though you experienced it before, it can be a whole other tradition on its own.

I want to write about what I described as the divine feminine and divine masculine in past entries. Luciferians call divinities by names that are themselves called ‘deific masks’. I think that is a proper term since these entities could be several beings and often, they do not tell us their names because their purpose is not in their label, it’s in what they do. So, the spirit I called Belial, then Divine Masculine, then Rex Nemorensis, then Samael was a spirit of divine consciousness that could be labeled all of these. As a matter of fact, Samael is often associated with divinities such as Lucifer, Satan, Mars, and Ahriman. So, to have this spirit battle with me and possess me I think is a rare and powerful experience. More importantly, it was this current itself that was present in me and conflicted with the programming of my Christian upbringing in a very Christian environment that I needed to experience.

The other divinity was what I thought at first was Lucifer, then Divine Feminine, then Diana, then Proserpina, then Mary. In fact, this spirit can be known as these and Ishtar, Inanna, Ashtaroth, or Persephone as well. So, the label or deific mask, is not necessary or valuable since it is the fact that this divinity or egregoric current was drawn to my consciousness as I was drawn to it to interact and interplay and grow constructively. Then when that interaction was complete (the next day), it left. It was a powerful experience and valuable and not necessarily requiring a lingering, skulking sort of relationship.

It is important to note that Marchosias chose to tell me it was Samael and Mary for a reason and was negligent to discuss this topic. This is because my mind likes to keep all manner of intuitive concepts in a simple framework and structure because my intuition is not well developed as many magickians. That is not to say I do not value my intuition or use it extensively. Some people are not particularly developed in intuition. I can think of several occultists who are leaders and are primarily very developed on the sensory side rather than the intuitive side. I would put Michael W. Ford in that category since his YouTube videos are a slurry of fact after fact in a choppy manner that is quite often hard to follow, but valuable information.

Another reason Marchosias chose the deific masks that he did was to convey what those masks represent and has to do with my current situation in my life. So, since the demonic divine works as any other divine and seeks to bring about constructive change, I must consider the choice seriously and accept what it represents. So, I will stop using labels with the spirits that possess me and learn from every experience.

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I just thought I would take this opportunity to raise awareness for developing positive attitudes towards predators in general, especially wolves and werewolves. Thanks guys.
Wolf Awareness Inc.

I am Illuminati, and help is on the way.

I, the Black Wolf say thus:
Life is a dream.
Life is a beautiful dream.
There are times of joy, and there are times of rage.
There is the Darkness, and there is the Light.
I am a child of the Night.
I bow to Diana.
I howl at the moon and dance under the stars.
We are the blighted ones no more.
We are the Black Wolves.
We are Free.

I have been under the influence of a foreign entity for many years. I believe it is Temple of the Vampire, or possibly Illuminati. I am an Italian Pagan. I never meant to send any of these emails, although since I did, feel free to punish me if you need to. I don’t want to send another email, and I apologize if I have harmed anyone. We Pagans ask for a simple, free live of love and hard work. If I could take everything back I would. If you choose to attack this entity or myself, feel free to do so.

It is not the Iluminati or the Temple of the Vampire. It is our governments. Stay away from Psychiatry like the plague.

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A SUCCESSFUL CURE TO MENTAL ILLNESS

OUTLINE

I am not a scientist or a psychologist, but I know how to connect the dots and discover ways of navigating the internet to find a cure to this illness, and the best order in which this is to be done.

Lesson 1:

Concept: Brain Plasticity

The most important concept to keep in mind throughout this training program is the science of brain plasticity. Here is a link that describes it in detail:

This training program starts with this lesson because it is important to first know what the brain is capable of. The brain more than any organ can and does change it’s structure at the neuron level, and at a very rapid rate. Therefore, finding a cure is actually really easy if you know what your looking for. This should be a boost of confidence to anyone who wants to find a cure because they know they can rewire their brain into the right perspective using the right set of skills, if they are right. My successful recovery proves that I know what this is.

Lesson 2:

Skill: Zazen Meditation

This is also important and should be done regularly. This skill is to treat any and all genetic predisposition that might easily trigger the onset of psychosis. Here is a link:

Meditation trains the mind, like weightlifting trains the body. It helps the mind deal with any conflict or stress because it trains you to control your emotions, and any irrational beliefs you may have. This is critical because throughout these lessons, the mind is capable of experiencing latent emotions and experiences that may be disturbing or upsetting. The mind needs to effectively take care of itself, and also prevent another relapse from ever happening.

Lesson 3:

Skill: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

This skill is introduced and explained in this book: A Guide To Rational Living, Albert Ellis PH.D. and Robert A. Harper, PH.D., 1961.

It is a fundamental tool to develop the ability to look deep within your own experience and understand where in life things didn’t go as they should have, and how you reacted to them. With this skill in place, the main and often difficult task of assessing how you react to things in life can be analyzed and discovered, as well as eventually treated by confronting it through personal communication, magic ritual, spiritual healing etc.

Lesson 4:

Concept: Hogwart’s Houses from the Harry Potter Series

In the fiction of Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling (books and movies):

Houses at Hogwarts were both the living and learning communities for its students. Each year’s group of students in the same house shares the same dormitory and many classes. The houses compete throughout the school year, by earning and losing points for behaviour. The house with the most points win the House Cup. Each house also has its own Quidditch team that competes for the Inter-House Quidditch Cup. The Sorting Hat announces the house the student is to join. Before beginning the Sorting ceremony, it sings a short song about the founding of the school and the four houses; the Sorting Hat’s songs are different every year, and the Hat is said to take all year composing the next one. It has also been said that all four houses must band together and fight as one if Hogwarts is to stand. It must be remembered that all the houses had their virtues and flaws: none were inherently good or evil.

Quadras are distinguished by offering the greatest degree of psychological comfort among all groups containing four types. The feeling of comfort and harmony produced by the quadra is since all types in the quadra seek to give expression to the shared set of information elements in their ego and super-id blocks and to de-emphasize the information elements in their super-ego and id blocks.

There is a direct correlation in my opinion between the Quadras and the houses. The unity of each house depends on how well they get along and work together. At a young age, we naturally gravitate with certain types who become our best friends and companions. Many friendships remain and many are broken. Our closest and best friends and even those we are just comfortable around in any environment have characteristics, good habits, and flaws that we must recognize.

Quadra Values:

Clarity Seeking / Integrity Seeking

World Accepting / World Rejecting

Alphas are Clarity Seeking and World Accepting (SFJ, NTP)

Ravenclaw: Intelligent, knowledgeable, and witty.

Betas are Clarity Seeking and World Rejecting (STP, NFJ)

Gryffindor: Brave, daring, and chivalrous.

Gammas are Integrity Seeking and World Rejecting (SFP, NTJ)

Slytherin: Cunning, resourceful, and ambitious.

Deltas are Integrity Seeking and World Accepting (STJ, NFP)

Hufflepuff: Dedicated, patient, and loyal.

What does it mean to be Clarity Seeking?

Valuing emotions and laws together creates collectivism in Clarity Seekers. While emotions serve to bring people together under a common, uplifting mood, laws create a consistent framework that all people in this collective can share and sets criteria for group belonging. These types tend to identify themselves by their feeling of belonging to these groups and subscription to the ideologies these groups follow, although how inclusive or specifically exclusive this group can be varies between Alphas and Betas.

What does it mean to be Integrity Seeking?

Valuing procedures and relationships together creates individualism in Integrity Seekers. While relationships select the good friends from mere acquaintances, procedures allow a mix of different points of view and provisions of information that, although inconsistent, can be helpful to the person. As such, instead of groups, Integrity Seekers manifest webs of trusted contacts who are valued for the helpful information they contribute, associating with friends and relations in the manner that best suits their needs.

What does it mean to be World Accepting?

Valuing ideas and senses together creates a contentedness in World Accepters with their present situation. While ideas explore the many possibilities the world has to offer, senses bring them together into our enjoyment of the present and the quality of life we are living now. As such, the actions of these types are centered around one’s lifestyle and the appreciation of that lifestyle in a way that is both enriching and sustaining.

What does it mean to be World Rejecting?

Valuing force and time together creates dissatisfaction in World Rejecters with their present situation. While force demands the action to confront reality and make it suit one’s ambitions, time provides a sense of purpose or preferred outcome to these confrontations. As such, these types pursue long-reaching outcomes and can reject the softer luxuries and distractions of mundane living. Instead, they advocate tough dedication in seeing things to the end.

COMPATIBILITY

Compatibility for houses is based on Jungian Units (the groups of capital letters beside each group representing Jungian Personality types). First are those within their house, followed by their opposite house, followed by the remaining houses. As an example, an NFP would get along best with NFPs and STJs, followed by their opposites, STPs and NFJs, followed by SFJs, NTPs, SFPs and NTJs equally. So, it would be Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, then Ravenclaw and Slytherin would be last and equal.

Lesson 5:

Concept: Factions from the Divergent Series

In the fiction of ‘Divergent’ by Veronica Roth (books and movies):

The factions are: Abnegation, Erudite, Dauntless, Amity, and Candor. The Choosing Ceremony is the day when a 16-year-old must choose which faction they will enter. They can either leave their family and choose an entirely new faction, or they can remain where they are. The aptitude test result should be considered, but the decision is ultimately their choice. This test is administered the day before the Choosing Ceremony and tells the adolescent which faction they are most compatible with. This idea is the choice we all make in adolescents when we decide how close we must be to our family.

We all are different and must make decisions that are in our best interest. Therefore, knowing which faction, based on the fiction which I think is similar, helps determine if you stay in the influence of your family or if you forge ahead on your own, with the values you choose to take with you. So, this coming-of-age ceremony is like the development of the individual as an adult, with values and beliefs, and an idea what type of work environment and social environment one would choose to devote themselves to.

The Politicians

Abnegation (NFP, NFJ)

DEFINITION: [Pronounced: Ab-neg-ay-shun] l. to refuse or deny oneself (some rights, conveniences, etc.); reject; renounce. 2. to relinquish; give up. --active forms of ­stripping things from your life. As opposed to relinquish, give up-- more passive.

HISTORY: Abnegation was formed by those who blamed selfishness for human nature’s errors. They believe in selfless actions and attaining peace through the elimination of selfishness. By doing so, they choose to completely forget themselves and only serve others.

TRAITS: Sit quietly and wait. Bow heads, a sign of respect, when greeting each other. Not manipulative, but not forthright. Their morally incorruptible quality makes them the only reasonable faction to be able to govern the city as political leaders.

PHYSICAL TRAITS: Clothing is gray and simple. The only adornment allowed is a watch. Female Abnegation typically wear their hair in a bun/knot.

ABNEGATION INITIATION: The initiates, who will spend thirty days performing community service before they can become full members, sit side by side on a bench while one of the older members reads the Abnegation manifesto. Then all the older members wash the initiates feet. They all share a meal, each person serving food to the person on his left.

NICKNAME: ‘stiffs’.

The Warriors

Dauntless (SFP, STP)

DEFINITION: [Pronounced: Dawn-t-less] Fearless, undaunted. Courageously resolute, especially in the face of danger or difficulty; not discouraged. Undaunted: resolute, especially in the face of danger. Note: Being fearless and being undaunted are two different things.

HISTORY: Dauntless was a faction formed by those who blamed cowardice for society’s problems. The only answer is to face your fears and find bravery.

TRAITS: Loud, expressive. Bravery, courage, fighting and physical skills. In charge of security, their primary purpose is to guard the fence that surrounds the city. They began guarding the fence five years prior. Before that they patrolled the factionless sector.

PHYSICAL TRAITS: All-black clothes, tattoos, piercings, unnatural hair colours.

DAUNTLESS INITIATION: Taken very seriously. Transfer initiates must jump out of the moving train that is transporting them to Dauntless HQ & onto the roof of a building. They must then jump off a seven-story building without knowing what lies at the bottom. There are three further stages of initiation that include physical and mental expertise, strength, and willpower.

NICKNAME: ‘crazies’.

The Farmers

Amity (SFJ)

DEFINITION: [Pronounced: Am-it-ee] l. friendship; peaceful harmony. 2. mutual understanding and a peaceful relationship, especially between nations; peace; accord. 3. cordiality. It’s not just about and apple-picking. It’s about cultivating strong relationships and trying to understand each other.

HISTORY: Amity is the faction that dislikes war. They formed Amity to have a peaceful society free from conflict and sadness caused by wars and instigation. They are truly a democratic faction, voting on everything, almost unanimously.

TRAITS: They love music, art, games, and laughter. They give hugs when greeting. They vote on everything, almost unanimously. Their bread has peace serum added to prevent their members from fighting. Amity’s essential nature comes from its crop-growing. They run the farms, which provides some of the food for all the factions. They tend to be counsellors, caretakers & artists.

PHYSICAL TRAITS: Members dress comfortably in red and yellow clothing. Their dress code is less formal than other factions and is bright and pleasant.

AMITY INITIATION: Like Erudite, little knowledge of Amity’s initiation process is given away in the books. From what we can gather, though, it involves fruit-picking and singing songs.

NICKNAME: ‘banjo strummin softies’.

The Scientists & Engineers

Erudite (NTP, NTJ)

DEFINITION: [Pronounced: Air-yoo-dyte] Characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly. The word “erudite” focuses on knowledge rather than intelligence-- intelligence being something you’re born with, and can’t necessarily control, and knowledge being something that you acquire.

HISTORY: Erudite was formed by those who blamed human ignorance for the faults of society. They formed Erudite as a way of eliminating ignorance and darkness from human minds.

TRAITS: Chat about books and newspapers; in constant pursuit of knowledge. Curiosity, which drives them to seek knowledge. The faction produces most of the city’s librarians, doctors, scientists, & teachers. They keep records of the city & the factions. Most technological advances are due to Erudite, including all the simulation serums.

PHYSICAL TRAITS: Most members wear glasses no matter how perfect their vision is, to give the appearance of intelligence. Each member must wear at least one piece of blue clothing as they believe it a calming colour that helps stimulate the brain.

ERUDITE INITIATION: Mostly unknown, but they most likely study, and take rigorous tests. It is also stated by Therese that there is an initiation intelligence test that, if not passed, results in one becoming factionless. Each of the initiates selects and is trained in a certain subject of expertise in Erudite.

NICKNAME: ‘know it all’s’.

The Lawyers & Administrators

Candor (STJ)

DEFINITION: [Pronounced: Can-der]; l. the state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression; candidness. 2. freedom from bias; fairness; impartiality. The faction is not just trying to develop honesty, they’re also trying to develop impartiality.

HISTORY: Candor was a faction formed by those who blamed duplicity and deception, who believed that dishonesty is the key fault in human nature which began evil and war. They believe in the principle that honesty and openness would lead to a more peaceful and perfect society.

TRAITS: Honest, trustworthy, and able to read body language to detect lies. They greet each other by shaking hands. They provide sound leaders in Law.

PHYSICAL TRAITS: Black & white clothes because they see the truth as black & white. They dress formally, with suits & ties being standard uniform with men, & women seen in long skirts, while their everyday clothing is typically black pants & white shirts.

CANDOR INITIATION: Initiates must take lie detector tests all day, every day. During the final test initiates get “truth serum” and must sit in front of everyone as they ask questions. They believe if you reveal all of your secrets, you’ll have no desire to lie about anything, ever again because the worst is already in the open.

NICKNAME: ‘smart mouths’.

COMPATIBILITY:

Compatibility for factions is based on the compatibility of houses since they get along best with people they work well with. First is those within their faction, followed by their opposite Jungian Unit, followed by the remaining units. As an example, an NFP would get along best with other NFPs and NFJs, then STJs, then STPs and SFPs, then SFJs, NTPs and NTJs. So, it would be Abnegation, Candor, Dauntless, then Amity and Erudite would be last and equal.

Lesson 6:

Skill: Creating Boundaries

Once the patient has successfully started meditating, immediately they begin the process of improving how they are able to handle any problem. They can effectively think problems through instead of reacting in an irrational manner, and control their emotions to such a degree that any problem or conflict can be approached with reason and calculation.

After this, once the patient watches the Harry Potter Series and the Divergent Series, they can then understand concepts of temperament, which can help the person understand better who they are, who they like to be around, and what their values and skill set is. Usually this is done at the prescribed ages of the fiction presented (who they like at a young age, and values and skill set at late adolescent). Hypothetically speaking, without domestication, a person would develop a clear understanding of these, but due to the trauma of domestication, and quite often unnecessary abuse, stress, and possibly a set of bad or unfortunate circumstances, the fragile mind of this person can develop mental illness. Therefore, after learning all of this, having this knowledge isn’t all that’s required. One must also develop skills in how to have healthy relationships including healthy boundaries with people you aren’t compatible with, and avoid any codependent or toxic relationships. Here is a link:

The Relationship Downloads by this Psychologist, Kristin Snowden are a good example of learning this skill set, which is the skill set of healthy relationships and it is essential in order to develop a healthy occupational, social, and marital life, as well as help the patient raise and be responsible for children and pets.

Lesson 7:

Concept: Personality Identity

From the two concepts of houses and factions combined, the patient can have a Jungian Unit that defines their mental processes - how they think and feel, if they are intuitive or practical, and if they are spontaneous or organized. With a fourth letter, called extroversion and introversion (and the easiest one to determine), a person has a clear idea what their Jungian Personality Type is. There are loads of resources for people to find out about their personality type. This link is my favourite:

With E or I representing extraversion and introversion, followed by the other three letters of the personality type, one can have a clear picture of how their mind works and why they behave the way they do.

Lesson 8:

Concept: Politics

One important skill that a person needs to realize is to see that people have an agenda. Often this agenda is a result of who they like (their house), what they value (their faction), but also the pre-existing social structure called politics. It’s important to recognize and identify with this as well. Here’s a link:

Believe it or not, this website has one of the best ways of determining one’s political leanings.

After this, another site determines one’s political views of the society they belong to, such as this one for Canada:

In many ways it is a duty to vote and take part in politics. But politics can get out of hand when you identify with a certain view so much that you begin to politicize every action of yourself and others, which can threaten to disturb your relationships in an unhealthy way. But politics can also help with your career because most companies have a clear preference.

Lesson 9:

Self-Directed Neuroplasticity

Rumination, at least for me, was part of the reason why I was responsible for becoming mentally ill in the first place. I learned that I practice rumination regularly as I am an introvert who likes to think and weigh ideas and concepts relating to my mental health, spirituality, social life, physical health, and other important things on a regular basis. Rumination can also be described, and often is, as intellection gone bad.

To treat this is to use every other lesson in mind and do several important things to change the mental wiring in the brain.

Rumination is caused by an imbalanced DMN (Default Mode Network) and includes impulsivity and ego-based thinking in combination with intellection. It affects the anterior medial prefrontal cortex, posterior cingulate cortex, dorsal medial prefrontal cortex, and the medial temporal lobe. To combat an imbalanced DMN, you need to build a TPN (Task Positive Network). To do that, you need to pay attention to the here and now or build a focus on your immediate awareness. You also need to decrease DMN activity by enlarging the prefrontal cortex, shrink the amygdala, and thicken the hippocampus. There are activities and actions that can do this, and I have included some articles on these subjects as appendices. All the sources were either online articles or youtube videos.

CONCLUSION

With these nine lessons working in tandem, one is able to learn about and discipline the mind, know the nuances of how their mind works, understand why the react to things the way they do, determine what kind of people they like, what they value, what skill set they have, how to build healthy relationships, see the agenda other people have, what agenda they want to have, and understand people and their society to a masterful level. This to me is the power of a healthy mind, and a happy one.

After these skills and concepts are well established, when you’re in a situation that you find yourself worried about or triggers a deeply felt emotional or traumatic response, you just need to stop, think, and ask yourself – what’s going on? Why is this happening to me, or what forces are at work here? Because when you understand why you react or feel a certain way, you know it’s not an illness. This is simply being human to have preferences of all kinds of things and having limitations that the human brain has. There’s nothing wrong with that - and humility allows us to accept what we have and what we can do with the minds we were given.

I take issue, with Ascention…

Notice that a lot of people who do that get a mental illness…

Coincidence, don’t think so?

I also got it…

You know what I did I didn’t go talking to entities doing ceremonies, I saw others doing that and not solving their problems from the root.

They still had their anxieties mania depression whatever have you…

The problem here the way I see things in my life is the root chakra and manifesting results in reality…

What do you think?

you can talk tough and not get the $ in the :bank: or the girl…

Appendix A

The Human Face of Mental Health and Mental Illness in Canada, 2006, Government of Canada

Symptoms:

Delusions of false or irrational beliefs.

Hallucinations of seeing or hearing things that do not exist.

Lack of motivation. Poor self-care, difficulty finding work, having a low income job, difficulty in school, finding a home. Over-represented in prison and homeless populations.

Social Withdrawal. Poor family relationships, difficulty with social life. The majority of individuals with schizophrenia (60% to 70%) do not marry and most have limited social contacts. Individuals with schizophrenia often find it difficult to maintain employment for a sustained period of time, and tend to be employed at a lower level than their parents.

Tasks requiring abstract memory and sustained attention are difficult. Early in the disease process, people with schizophrenia may lose their ability to relax, concentrate, or sleep and they may withdraw from friends or not even recognize that they are ill.

Up to 80% of individuals with schizophrenia will abuse substances during their lifetime. Problematic substance use is associated with increased rates of poor functional recovery, suicidal behaviour and violence.

The family’s normal activities are disrupted, but they must also cope with the person’s refusal of treatment if they do not believe that they are ill, the family member’s unpredictability, the side effects of the medication, and the frustration and worry about their loved one’s future.

Approximately 40% to 60% of individuals with schizophrenia attempt suicide and they are 15–25 times more likely than the general population to succeed.

Schizophrenia is a problem if I exhibit a pattern of recurrent or repetitive behaviour that indicates that I am likely to cause harm to myself or others or suffer substantial mental or physical deterioration or serious physical impairment if I do not receive continuing treatment or care.

Appendix B

10 Tips to Help You Stop Ruminating

Has your head ever been filled with one single thought, or a string of thoughts, that just keep repeating… and repeating… and repeating themselves?

The process of continuously thinking about the same thoughts, which tend to be sad or dark, is called rumination.

A habit of rumination can be dangerous to your mental health, as it can prolong or intensify depression as well as impair your ability to think and process emotions. It may also cause you to feel isolated and can push people away.

What causes ruminating?

People ruminate for a variety of reasons. According to the American Psychological Association, some common reasons for rumination include:

belief that by ruminating, you’ll gain insight into your life or a problem

having a history of emotional or physical trauma

facing ongoing stressors that can’t be controlled

Ruminating is also common in people who possess certain personality characteristics, which include perfectionism, neuroticism, and an excessive focus on one’s relationships with others.

You might have a tendency to overvalue your relationships with others so much that you’ll make large personal sacrifices to maintain your relationships, even if they’re not working for you.

Tips for addressing ruminating thoughts

Once you get stuck in a ruminating thought cycle, it can be hard to get out of it. If you do enter a cycle of such thoughts, it’s important to stop them as quickly as possible to prevent them from becoming more intense.

As when a ball is rolling downhill, it’s easier to stop the ruminating thoughts when they first start rolling and have less speed than when they’ve gathered speed over time.

So, what can you do to stop these obsessive thoughts from running through your mind?

Here are 10 tips to try when you begin to experience the same thought, or set of thoughts, swirling around your head:

  1. Distract yourself

When you realize you’re starting to ruminate, finding a distraction can break your thought cycle. Look around you, quickly choose something else to do, and don’t give it a second thought. Consider:

calling a friend or family member

doing chores around your house

watching a movie

drawing a picture

reading a book

walking around your neighborhood

  1. Plan to take action

Instead of repeating the same negative thought over and over again, take that thought and make a plan to take action to address it.

In your head, outline each step you need to take to address the problem, or write it down on a piece of paper. Be as specific as possible and also realistic with your expectations.

Doing this will disrupt your rumination. It will also help you move forward in the attempt to get a negative thought out of your head once and for all.

  1. Take action

Once you’ve outlined a plan of action to address your ruminating thoughts, take one small step to address the issue. Refer to the plan you made to solve the problem you’ve been obsessing over.

Move forward with each step slowly and incrementally until your mind is put at ease.

  1. Question your thoughts

We often ruminate when we think we’ve made a major mistake or when something traumatic has happened to us that we feel responsible for.

If you start ruminating on a troubling thought, try putting your repetitive thought in perspective.

Thinking more about how your troubling thought might not be accurate may help you stop ruminating because you realize the thought makes little sense.

  1. Readjust your life’s goals

Perfectionism and unrealistic goal setting can lead to rumination. If you set goals that are unrealistic, you may start to focus on why and how you haven’t reached a goal, or what you should have done to reach it.

Setting more realistic goals that you’re capable of achieving can reduce the risks of overthinking your own actions.

  1. Work on enhancing your self-esteem

Many people who ruminate report difficulties with self-esteem. In fact, lack of self-esteem can be associated with increased rumination. It’s also been linked with increased risk of depression.

Enhancement of self-esteem can be accomplished in many ways. For instance, building on existing strengths can add to a sense of mastery, which can enhance self-esteem.

Some people may choose to work on the enhancement of self-esteem in psychotherapy. As you enhance your self-esteem, self-efficacy may also be enhanced. You may find that you’re better able to control rumination.

  1. Try meditation

Meditating can reduce rumination because it involves clearing your mind to arrive at an emotionally calm state.

When you find yourself with a repeating loop of thoughts in your mind, seek out a quiet space. Sit down, breathe deeply, and focus on nothing but breathing.

  1. Understand your triggers

Each time you find yourself ruminating, make a mental note of the situation you’re in. This includes where you are, what time of day it is, who’s around you (if anyone), and what you’ve been doing that day.

Developing ways to avoid or manage these triggers can reduce your rumination.

  1. Talk to a friend

Ruminating thoughts can make you feel isolated. Talking about your thoughts with a friend who can offer an outside perspective may help break the cycle.

Be sure to speak with a friend who can give you that perspective rather than ruminate with you.

  1. Try therapy

If your ruminating thoughts are taking over your life, you may want to consider therapy. A therapist can help you identify why you’re ruminating and how to address the problems at their core.

Lifestyle changes

If you’re a long-time ruminator who wants to bring an end to your repetitive negative thoughts, here are some simple changes you can make to your life that can help do just that:

Be proactive in trying to solve your problems. First identify problems in your life and then start taking actions to solve your problems, one step at a time

Set your own expectations. Negative ruminating thoughts can creep in when we question our self-worth. Praise yourself for your successes and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Constantly work on building your self-esteem by taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy and excel at.

Create a support system. Having friends and family members, and maybe even a therapist, any of whom you can call on for help when something goes wrong or when you’re having a bad day, is so important. These special people may distract you from your ruminating thoughts and are also likely to boost your self-esteem.

It is possible to stop ruminating

If you’re a ruminator, it’s important to know some tips that may help you to stop your thought cycle in its tracks before it spirals out of control.

It’s also important to be proactive and take steps to prevent yourself from ruminating in the first place.

With awareness and some lifestyle changes, it’s possible to free yourself from ruminating thoughts. If you find that you’re unable to use these tips to help your rumination, you should consider contacting a mental health professional for assistance.

Appendix C

EGO THOUGHTS VS HIGHER SELF – UNDERSTANDING SELF DUALITY

Your Ego Thoughts VS Your Higher Self

Whether you’re into spirituality and self-help or not, you’ve probably heard a lot about the ego. Most discussions about ego cast it as a villain in your life. We actually have an interesting and different take on the ego that we’d like you to think about.

Before we get to that, however, it’s good to review why you should care in the first place.

Then, in a future article that we’ll link to at the end of this one, we’ll provide a few simple mental exercises you can use in your life to identify and work with ego-based thoughts.

WHAT IS THE EGO?

Psychology has one view of the ego while conventional, modern spirituality has a slightly different view.

FREUD’S EGO THOUGHTS

The psychological concept of ego comes from Freud’s Personality Theory. He discussed the ego in conjunction with two other concepts, the Id and the Superego.

Freud saw these three personality components as developing at different stages in our lives and being ‘responsible’ for different things.

According to Freud’s model of the psyche, the id is the primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains sexual and aggressive drives and hidden memories, the super-ego operates as a moral conscience, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego. – Simply Psychology

Basically, Freud saw the ‘Id’ as the base and primitive part of our minds and the ego as the middle ground between it and our superego, or morally conscious part. It’s important to also note that Freud saw the ego as an unconscious part of our psyche. He also saw the superego as being influenced by societal conventions and group understanding of what is moral.

This is interesting when we review what many spiritual teachers say about the ego. That seems to have developed from a Jungian perspective.

JUNG’S EGO THOUGHTS

Carl Jung is arguably the other most famous name in psychology, but his views incorporated more Eastern philosophies and often create the basis for more spiritual perspectives. Things like dream symbolism are usually rooted in Jungian ideas.

Jung built on Freud’s concept of the ego by delving into questions like what the ego knows about itself and what its role is in our greater development as aware humans.

Anyone who has any ego-consciousness at all takes it for granted that he knows himself. But the ego knows only its own contents, not the unconscious and its contents.- Carl Jung, The Undiscovered Self, via Mind That Ego

THE EGO IN EASTERN PHILOSOPHY

According to Psychology Today which gives an excellent discourse on the way we see the ego in today’s society, ego is the concept of the self to Eastern philosophers. In this context, ego is the “I am” concept. Ego is the named self, the self of self-consciousness of self-recognition.

This translates into a view of the ego as a self-centered stumbling block of false perception of our personality as the highest form of who we are. These traditions, of course, prefer to remind us that we are eternal love or extensions of source or simply universal energy. This is the counterpoint to the ‘ego’ in this context.

BALANCING THESE VIEWS ABOUT EGO THOUGHTS

There are a lot of spiritual sources that will tell you any negativity you experience comes from your ego. We’re actually not about that. We believe that the universe gave you an ego for a reason. Just like your emotions, you can use it as a tool instead of letting it define your thoughts and actions.

We enjoy the idea that there is a true duality to life. There is both endless abundance and scarcity. We both create our own experience and experience life through our connection with others. When you can shift your perspective from a lower thought to a higher thought, that’s always a positive exercise.

We don’t reject the ego as something bad, however, because lower thoughts aren’t bad. The ego isn’t our enemy, it is part of us and can be integrated into the holistic concept of our human experience.

Lower thoughts aren’t bad, but they’re not as helpful or nurturing to you as higher thoughts in many cases. When we can recognize where impulses, thoughts, or emotions are coming from, we can examine them and process them in a better way. That’s one reason we like to think about our egos.

WHAT COULD BE GOOD ABOUT YOUR EGO THOUGHTS?

Terms like good and bad aren’t usually very helpful when it comes to inner work, but getting ridiculous about the terms we use won’t help you either. So, let’s apply ‘good’ and ‘bad’ to the ego for a minute to show how it can be useful.

Your ego might emerge and start making noise when your boundaries are violated. You might see it when you’re activating motivation to achieve a goal. It may spur you on to greater achievements or signal that something isn’t completely harmonious about your current experience.

We like to use our ego like rocket fuel and like a smoke alarm. We fire it up a little when we need some motivation and if we hear it go off randomly, we check around for trouble.

What we try not to do is let our ego run rampant or control us. It’s really important to remain aware of your ego and use it as a tool and counterpoint, not to kill it completely. This is just our opinion, of course.

Appendix D

What is Hippocampal Atrophy & How is it Treated?

The hippocampus is a part of the brain that helps in memory and spatial navigation. It is a small region of the brain situated within the medial temporal lobe, below the cortical surface. Anatomically, it is an extension of the cerebral cortex and is divided into 2 equal halves, each of which lies in the right and left side of the brain. The name hippocampus was derived from 2 Greek words, “hippo” which means horse and “kampos” which means sea, as the structure resembles a seahorse in shape.

The hippocampus helps in formation of long term memory. Any damage in the hippocampus can cause memory loss and disorientation. It can lead to condition such as Alzheimer’s disease, amnesia, dementia etc. It is the first sign of any brain damage. Hippocampus damage can be caused by lack oxygen supply or hypoxia, infection, inflammation, trauma etc. Hippocampal atrophy is another condition that causes cognitive and memory dysfunction due to degeneration of the hippocampus.

What is Hippocampal Atrophy?

Hippocampal atrophy is a condition characterised by degeneration of the hippocampus. There is atrophy of the brain cells. It is one of the characteristic features of hippocampal sclerosis and Alzheimer’s disease. Hippocampal atrophy causes memory deprivation and spatial disorientation. Hippocampus is also important for olfactory memory and hence atrophy in the structure leads to difficulty in identifying smell.

Function of the Hippocampus

Memorization as a Function of Hippocampus: Hippocampus helps in the formation of new memories and retention of old memories. Severe damage to the hippocampus on both sides can cause serious memory issues such as anterograde amnesia. In cases where the damage happens due to trauma, there may be retrograde amnesia, i.e. loss of memory just prior to the traumatic event with or without retention of older memories. Hippocampal damage or atrophy does not affect the ability to learn new skills.

Spatial Awareness and Navigation as a Function of Hippocampus: Hippocampus helps in cognitive mapping and helps in strengthening the sense of direction. Loss of function of the hippocampus or hippocampal atrophy can cause inability to remember direction and can lead to disorientation, confusion and being lost. It limits the ability to find ways.

Symptoms of Hippocampal Atrophy

Symptoms of hippocampal atrophy include:

Memory loss including short term and long term memory loss based on the severity

Difficulty recalling recent events

Disorientation

Difficulty with spatial navigation

Loss of direction and tendency to get lost in otherwise familiar environment

Olfactory dysfunction

Emotional disturbances

Behavioural changes

Amnesia.

Prognosis of Hippocampal Atrophy

Though prescription medication have shown to slow down the process and bring about certain amount of improvement in the symptoms and memory, no known definite cure for hippocampal atrophy has been found till date. A large number of studies are being carried out in view of the same.

Causes and Risk Factors of Hippocampal Atrophy

The causes of hippocampal atrophy are multi factorial. The most common causes include:

Lack of oxygen supply or hypoxia is the most common cause and leads to death and degeneration of the brain cells.

Skull injury or trauma can cause hippocampal atrophy.

Long term stress or neurological disorders can lead to hippocampal atrophy. Certain neurological disorders such as multiple sclerosis, schizophrenia and epilepsy can lead to atrophy of the hippocampus.

Other conditions such a Cushing syndrome, post-traumatic stress, depression and encephalitis can also cause hippocampal atrophy.

Certain medication such as steroids, when used for a long term can alter the activity of neuron in hippocampus and can prevent regeneration of new neurons leading to hippocampal atrophy.

Ageing can lead to degeneration of the brain cells.

Pathophysiology of Hippocampal Atrophy

Hippocampal atrophy is caused by loss or neurons secondary to neurofibrillary tangle formation. Due to this, there is partial to severe reduction in hippocampal volume. This loss of neuron or death of neuron causes hippocampal atrophy.

Diagnosis of Hippocampal Atrophy

Diagnosis of hippocampal atrophy includes through examination by a neurologist. Clinical examination includes memory studies and cognitive behaviour studies. Hippocampus function can be studied by measuring the frequency of electrical activity using an electroencephalogram (EEG). Investigative studies such as CT scan of the brain and MRI of the brain is also used for correct diagnosis and further evaluation.

Treatment of Hippocampal Atrophy

A large number of studies are being carried out to understand hippocampal atrophy and formulate treatment for the same. At present, treatment modality includes treatment of the underlying condition such as Alzheimer’s disease, epilepsy, encephalitis, depression, stress etc. A combination of cognitive behaviour therapy and antidepressants may be suggested based on the condition. Psychotherapy with pharmacotherapy is used to treat at cognitive, physical and emotional level and also to bring about a balance. Certain brain exercises may be suggested for improving the memory.

Conclusion

Hippocampus is a seahorse shaped structure found in the medial temporal lobe of the brain. It helps in creation of new memories and spatial navigation. Hippocampal atrophy is a condition characterised by degeneration of the brain cells in the hippocampus leading to loss of memory and disorientation. It is seen to be associated with condition such as dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, epilepsy, severe depression, schizophrenia, stress, Cushing syndrome etc. Till date, there is no definitive treatment modality at present for hippocampus atrophy and a large number of studies are being carried out to get a clear understanding of the condition. Symptomatic treatment plan for hippocampus atrophy includes a combination of cognitive behaviour therapy with prescription drugs such as anti-depressants. Drugs can help in management of the memory issues; however, complete cure of hippocampal atrophy is rare at present.